"Huh?" Jiraiya stared at the lump of dirt in Hiruzen Sarutobi's hand, completely lost.
Since when did Mount Myoboku sell something like this?
He was from Mount Myoboku too, how did he not know?
Orochimaru and Tsunade looked just as confused.
Clearly, neither of them had any clue what was going on either.
Hiruzen pinched the clod between his fingers. Crumbs scattered across the table.
Jiraiya pressed a fingertip into the powder, lifted it to his nose, sniffed it twice like he was doing a serious investigation, then said, "Sensei… this is just dirt, isn't it?"
"It is dirt," Hiruzen said, nodding. "But we're going to sell dirt at the price of gold. Maybe several times the price of gold."
Jiraiya scratched his head. "Sensei… I mean, yeah, a lot of nobles are idiots, but they're not that idiotic, right?"
Hiruzen chuckled.
"We're shinobi. We wield Chakra. We control the most advanced techniques in the shinobi world."
He tapped the table lightly. "And in medicine and biology, we have a gap so wide it's practically a cliff."
"Even if the raw materials are cheap, once technology gives them an irreplaceable, scarce value, once the function is tailored and the identity premium is tied in, turning stone into gold isn't hard at all."
He smiled around the pipe. "That's technology pricing, not cost logic."
The moment "technology" entered the conversation, Orochimaru's eyes lit up.
That was exactly why Hiruzen had chosen this direction after digging deep and thinking hard.
It wasn't that Hiruzen underestimated the other villages.
Kumogakure had its lightning-enhanced taijutsu. Iwagakure had Dust Release. Kirigakure had bloodline techniques. Sunagakure had puppet jutsu.
They all had their specialties. They all innovated.
But their innovations stayed inside the military lane.
As for medical development tied to civilian life, they might as well have had nothing.
Compared to Konoha, which had been building its biological foundation since Tobirama Senju's era, they couldn't even stand in the same room.
And then you added Tsunade and Orochimaru, two geniuses in medicine and research, plus clans like Nara and Akimichi with stockpiles of knowledge in pharmacy and healing…
Monopolizing "noble health care" wouldn't be hard.
Hiruzen continued, "What do nobles want most?"
"A healthy body so they can keep their privileges longer, and a status symbol they can show off."
He spread his hands. "Cover those needs, and they'll come throwing money at you."
"The effects don't need to be dramatic. They just need to be something they can feel immediately. If we sell it right, they'll pay."
"And later, when it's gentle instead of aggressive, that doesn't mean it's weaker. It's slow nourishment. It's strengthening the foundation. It's 'no side effects' as a design feature."
He smiled. "That kind of language feels expensive."
Orochimaru nodded slightly.
It sounded a lot like the way he talked his subordinates into things.
Tsunade's eyes brightened. "I think I get it, Sensei."
She'd actually done something similar before.
She gambled. Sometimes she owed money at casinos. Nobles would jump at the chance, pay off her debt, then ask her to treat them.
Some even begged for medicine. Tsunade would patch them up with medical ninjutsu, then casually roll a little mud pill between her fingers, hand it over like it mattered, and they'd thank her like she'd saved their entire bloodline and shove silver at her.
Jiraiya used to complain about it.
He was Konoha's workhorse and a novelist, yet Tsunade made money faster than he ever did.
"The exact effects, you two sit down and work them out," Hiruzen said. "I'm giving you the overall framework."
"The core is building a purchase loop."
He tapped his own chest. "When I say First, Second, the three sage regions, that's not about medical value. It's about binding the nobles' willingness to overpay."
Orochimaru gave a thin, dark smile. "It suits them perfectly."
"And if we can get a lot of cheap materials with a good story behind them, even better," Hiruzen said, amused. "Harmless snake scales, for example. Leave one or two pieces unground, on purpose. They'll think it proves the product is 'authentic.'"
"Konoha has a reputation for having been rich and glorious once. We also have access to the three sage regions."
He pointed at himself again. "And I'm a living advertisement."
"Even if other villages try to copy us later, that moat alone keeps them from competing."
His eyes narrowed slightly. "Of course, that still depends on your work. The medicine has to hit their pain points."
"And keep raw costs as low as possible. We're here to make money, not to exhaust ourselves serving nobles."
Jiraiya nodded like he understood… or like he wanted to.
Then he said, "I don't know about all that, but Mount Myoboku has a kind of toad oil that helps with… you know. I've been taking it."
He scratched his cheek, suddenly awkward. "There's so much of it piled up in the back hills you could burn it for fuel. The old lady there stuffed a bunch into my hands…"
Tsunade stared at him with pure disgust. "You look so tough, and yet… wow."
"It's not like that!" Jiraiya's face went bright red. "It's health care, okay? I'm not sick!"
"Shut up, idiot," Orochimaru said, laughing louder than he meant to. "How are you planning to prove it? This isn't a bathhouse."
Then, still smiling, he added, "You did good. Negotiating the Mount Myoboku endorsement, you can handle that, right?"
After Jiraiya grudgingly confirmed, Orochimaru continued, "Ryuchi Cave has piles of shed snake skin. It has a calming effect. Perfect for recycling into noble pills."
He glanced at Tsunade. "As for Shikkotsu Forest, I don't know what scraps we could use. Every slug is basically the Great Sage's main body."
Tsunade laughed. "Honestly, whether it's really from the three sage regions doesn't matter. What matters is we use cheap leftovers, don't burn through medical resources, and still produce something nobles will buy. Right?"
Then she got serious, mind already spinning. "Sensei, there's one issue. Nobles without Chakra can't handle the medicine shinobi use."
"That's an advantage for cost procurement, but also a technical problem. We have to adjust everything based on their tolerance."
Hiruzen nodded, clearly pleased.
This was Tsunade's field. One hint and she understood the whole shape of it.
"For the pill base, we can reference the Akimichi Clan's Food Pills," Tsunade said, already deep in brainstorming. "And the Nara clan's Soothing Drink could be a good direction…"
"This time, Tsunade, Orochimaru, you two lead," Hiruzen said. "And you need to treat the cooperation with the Akimichi and Nara seriously."
He looked at Tsunade. "I know you've always wanted to build a Medical Corps."
"But you also know, a pure medical ninja doesn't fit into a three-person squad."
"Not everyone has your talent, combat ability and medical skill together."
Tsunade sighed and nodded.
She knew her younger self's idea had come from a good place, but it hadn't been realistic.
Two three-person squads clashing, if your medic couldn't fight and needed protection, you were automatically at a disadvantage.
This wasn't a world with "tanks." There was no standing in place while healing and taking hits. It was all dodge, move, survive.
"Once the project officially starts," Hiruzen said, "I'll support you."
He spoke slowly, deliberate. "The Medical Department will lead village-wide. Each squad will select one member. Every Jonin will receive emergency training from the village."
Tsunade's face lit up. "That's perfect. Leave it to me, old man!"
"Orochimaru," Hiruzen continued, "you handle pricing."
He made it clear. "We only target the major nobles. We can't pull too many shinobi into this project and disrupt normal operations."
He looked directly at Orochimaru. "Do you understand?"
Orochimaru nodded.
Shinobi were a combat force first. And medical ninjas were scarce, needed to keep the hospital running.
They couldn't spare large numbers just to manufacture pills for nobles.
Targeting big nobles meant fewer customers, higher prices, lower manpower demand, and it matched the image of a "three sage regions joint product."
Scarcity wasn't optional. It was essential.
Orochimaru was already thinking further.
If the pill built a reputation, you could even use it to infiltrate enemy daimyo circles. You wouldn't need to interrogate anyone. People leaked things in casual conversation all the time.
Hiruzen went on, "Use this cooperation with Nara and Akimichi as an opportunity."
"This isn't just about draining noble wallets."
He leaned forward slightly. "Some of the techniques you develop here, optimized ingredients, adjusted dosages, enhanced effects, can be shifted into military applications."
"Specialized Food Pills."
"Medicine that sharpens focus and dulls pain."
He paused, then said, "You need a higher strategic view. This is military pre-research and iteration."
"One investment, two streams of benefit."
He took another sip, then looked at Tsunade. "For example, you once mentioned Medical Talismans. If I remember correctly, the difficulty is storing medical Chakra and releasing it slowly, right?"
Tsunade nodded. Her teacher really did know a lot.
"Yes. Compared to Paper Bombs, which release fire Chakra explosively, a Medical Talisman needs both storage and slow release. Both are hard."
Hiruzen smiled. "If we can secure the 'noble health care' market, then I don't think Medical Talismans will be far behind."
He tapped ash from his pipe. "Once the big nobles approve of our pills, their retainers will want them too."
"And the people closest to nobles…"
He let the sentence hang for a beat. "Are their women."
Tsunade blinked. She didn't see the connection.
"Break the Medical Talisman down," Hiruzen said, guiding her. "Start by solving the smallest unit first, storage and slow release for medical Chakra."
"Use that to satisfy the noblewomen's needs."
He smiled. "In other words, cosmetics."
Then he continued smoothly, "And the money that comes back in, you pour it into military research."
Noblewomen might have identities tied to their husbands, but that didn't mean they lacked spending power.
In a feudal system, a noblewoman's appearance was part of the man's status. It was a public badge of authority, a necessary expense to keep the family's face intact.
Like repairing a mansion or buying ceremonial displays.
And for the women themselves, beauty raised their value in alliances and marriage arrangements.
It was their own kind of strength.
So if there was a "super cosmetic" that could preserve youth and enhance appearance, they would absolutely pay for it.
Tsunade's eyes widened as it clicked. "Even a lot of women shinobi have asked me about staying young…"
"Exactly," Hiruzen said. "Small, refined projects like this, low manpower, flexible between civilian and military use… once it starts running, it benefits the village massively."
Tsunade slapped the table, then slammed her other hand onto Orochimaru's shoulder. "We have to do this right!"
Orochimaru's face went dark. She hit hard, like she always did, but he still forced a smile. "Of course."
He was greedy for that steady river of money too.
Research, jutsu development, improvement, none of it was cheap. Most breakthroughs weren't luck. They were brute-force investment.
Jiraiya pointed at himself. "So what am I doing, Sensei?"
"You…" Hiruzen murmured, thinking. "I heard you write books. How are they selling?"
Jiraiya drooped. "Not great. But I'm telling you, one day they'll be bestsellers!"
"Aren't your anonymous romance shorts pretty popular?" Orochimaru said, wearing a teasing expression.
"Maybe switch genres," he added. "The serious stuff doesn't suit you."
"What?" Jiraiya sprang up like a startled cat. "Snake, how do you even know what I wrote?"
He narrowed his eyes, scandalized. "Are you in love with me? You're spying on my privacy!"
Every novelist knew one of the worst humiliations on earth was having friends or family see that kind of writing.
"Don't underestimate my information network," Orochimaru said, raising a brow.
Then he turned serious. "Anyway. I think you're talented. Write the pills and cosmetics into your stories. It'll help the publicity."
Jiraiya frowned, suspicious. "Do I really have talent? Honestly, even I think what I write feels fake."
He sneaked a glance at Tsunade. "I've never even dated…"
"No," Hiruzen said, eyes suddenly bright. "You do have it, Jiraiya."
He leaned in, encouraging. "Because you haven't dated, you can still imagine love like it's science fiction. That kind of yearning is powerful."
"Do what Orochimaru said," Hiruzen declared. "I expect you to become a famous romance novelist across the shinobi world…"
Jiraiya made a face. "Sensei, that doesn't sound like a compliment!"
"But if it's for the village…" he sighed heavily, then snapped back into confidence like someone flipped a switch. "Fine. I'll sacrifice my literary gift."
"I'll write romance first, build fame, gather fans, help the village, then I'll write serious literature and become a legendary master!"
He nodded to himself. "Yep. That's the plan."
Hiruzen squinted.
Even in the shinobi world, there was a hierarchy of genres and writers, huh?
Reality was cruel everywhere.
"I need a pen name," Jiraiya muttered. "Something good…"
He counted on his fingers. "Immortal Golden Toad of Mount Myoboku, Heaven-Shattering Sage? Wanderer of Ink and Wind, Free Spirit of the Mortal World?"
"Jiraiya," Hiruzen said, waving him off, "you're too old for that."
He sighed like he'd been waiting to say it all night. "And if you act like this, you're going to corrupt your student. My grandstudent."
Then, with absolute finality, he said, "You'll be Young Azi."
Jiraiya froze. "Huh?"
Then he frowned thoughtfully. "That… actually doesn't sound bad."
He blinked. "It sounds kind of pure. It fits me…"
"I'll handle the daimyo," Hiruzen said, standing the conversation back on its feet. "You three handle the research."
He extended his hand, palm out.
For Konoha.
For Team Hiruzen.
Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya hesitated for a second, then understood, and stacked their hands on top of his.
Just like they used to when they were kids.
"Team Hiruzen," they said together, "let's do this!"