Chapter 2: The Sarcastic Guide to Grave Robbing
I stood at the edge of the tree line, checking my reflection in a stagnant puddle. My silver-ash hair was still perfect, and my jawline could still cut glass.
Inner monologue: "I'm definitely the hottest guy in a ten-mile radius. Of course, that's because the only other people around here are dirt-covered peasants. I'm a big fish in a very small, very bankrupt pond. If I took this face to the Solaris Capital, I'd be 'Background Handsome Guy #4' and lose my life savings in a high-stakes tea party within the hour."
"System," I whispered, feeling the classic urge of a transmigrator. "Golden Finger? Cheat code? System?"
Nothing.
"Golden finger, golden finger, golden finger!"
A translucent window flickered to life. It didn't chime; it made a sound like a wet cough.
> [System: Oh, look. You figured out how to use your vocal cords. Congratulations, Host. I'm the 'Starter Pack' you bought for five dollars on a whim. Don't expect a god-tier inheritance.]
>
"Wait, why are you being so condescending?" I asked, my brow twitching. "Where's the 'Yes, Master' vibe?"
> [System: My job isn't to hold your hand; it's to provide sarcastic commentary while you inevitably make a fool of yourself. I've granted you: One storage ring, a basic iron sword, some extra gold, and a decent travel cloak. Now, stop talking to the air; you look like a lunatic.]
>
"Fine. I don't get a classic system? Why do I have a cruel author?"
The Flashback: A Small, Profitable War
Before entering the woods, I had spent some time in the nearby village of Fox-Tail. Over a pint of watered-down ale, I'd asked the locals about any "significant events."
"The border skirmish a decade back?" an old farmer had grunted. "Small war, really. Some imperial splitters tried to carve a path through. Lots of steel left in those woods, but nobody goes in. The magic there... it's gone sour."
Bad magic? I thought. In my old world, we called that 'unclaimed assets.'
The Forest of Ironwood
The Arctheris Forest was beautiful in a way that felt like a trap. The Ironwood trees stood like pillars of obsidian, their leaves shimmering with a faint, metallic luster. This was the kingdom's only real export.
> [System: Warning: You're about to trade your laid-back lifestyle for a very active death wish.]
>
"You're just jealous because you're useless," I shot back. "You're trying to keep me away from wealth and glory."
I spent hours digging through the undergrowth. Most of it was garbage, but then my luck turned. Under a pile of moss, I found three high-quality steel swords and a set of reinforced light armor, remarkably preserved by the lingering mana in the soil.
"Report, System. What's the haul?"
> [System: Collection: 3 Steel Swords, 1 Scout Armor Set. Your 'Charm Value' is currently 85/100. You're handsome, but compared to the 'God-Tier' visuals of the game's actual leads, you're just a very attractive grave robber.]
>
I paused, wiping sweat from my brow. My shirt had become slightly translucent from the effort, sticking to my chest in a way that would have made a romance novelist hyperventilate.
"At least I'm an aesthetic grave robber," I muttered.
The Resident Residue
The temperature dropped twenty degrees. I froze as a translucent figure drifted from behind an Ironwood trunk. It was a man in tattered robes, his eyes glowing with a faint, ghostly light.
I stumbled back three steps, my finger shaking. "A... a ghost!"
The spirit floated closer. "Hello... mortal. Give me... what all you have!"
I panicked, drawing my iron sword and swinging wildly at the air. Swoosh! Swoosh!
"It's quite disrespectful, tormenting dead people, you know," the ghost said, suddenly dropping the scary act and crossing its arms.
I stopped swinging. "You're... you're dead!"
"I am a Magical Residue," the spirit corrected. "My body is long gone, but my soul is anchored here due to an unfulfilled wish. I was a Magician of Arctheris... I died defending this pass ten years ago."
He paused, looking at my silver-ash hair.
"Wait. You... you look like a noble. But you're digging in the dirt like a peasant. Who are you, and what are you doing in my kingdom's graveyard?"
Chapter Summary
* Self-Awareness: Loki admits he's "local-region" handsome but would be broke and outclassed in the capital.
* The System: Reveals it's just a "Starter Pack" and begins its career of being a sarcastic jerk.
* The Looting: Loki uses a flashback-derived tip to find high-quality gear in the war-torn forest.
* The Encounter: Loki meets a Magician Ghost from the bankrupt kingdom who died 10 years ago, setting up a potential alliance or source of ancient knowledge.