ELISA…
The silence that followed Lucien's disappearance was not just felt in the dark, empty manor that seemed to seize its whispering at night.
It was also felt in the way something in me felt alone and empty since he left - like a mother will feel when her child travels to another land, or goes out to be with her husband and new family.
But he tried to kill me. I saw his real form, saw him for the monster he really is…
But even as the word monster sprang up in my mind, I couldn't help but feel disgusted at myself for even judging him like everyone else in town did.
'You shouldn't be wandering far from sight, child.' Yennefer's sharp but serene voice interrupted my reverie, and I turned sharply to look in her direction.
She had a discomforting habit of suddenly appearing in a chamber and startling me, and I wondered just how long I had to keep up with that.
'I apologize…' I hesitated, not sure what to refer to her as. Mother, or my my lady.
Her deep green eyes stared at me for a while with realization, but she waved it off immediately.
She had become indifferent since Lucien disappeared.
For someone who had raised him since he was born, as everyone in the village had whispered, she didn't even seem worried at all about his disappearance, or even try to go after him.
She might be scared of him just as much as I am, but surely, she must have seen a lot of his beastly side.
But even three days after that fateful morning, she still went about her activities like a dutiful servant.
Sometimes she will smile at me and allow me to put up flowers in some of the quarters, and other times she will appear and ask me to stop singing in the garden or any part of the house.
She seemed to hear my voice, no matter how low I tuned it down.
'I won't give it a second thought if I have to lock you up again,' she said and began to walk out of the hall with the basket of herbs in her arms.
'Nooo…' I hurried towards her and clutched her arms before she walked out, and I immediately felt a very strong heat pass between our bodies.
I let go of her hands and just stared at her in confusion and fear.
What was that? I wondered, too scared to even speak.
'Be careful, girl,' her voice lost the serenity in it, and I could swear by the holy mother that I heard a man's voice behind that coy smile.
I moved a few steps back while she walked away, and I held my hands closely to my chest as my heart thumped erratically.
That energy I felt was different - it reminded me of something like that that had happened in the past, but this one felt too strong and dark.
But I couldn't even remember what I was comparing it to.
I looked around the chamber at everything, but at the same time, nothing.
I suddenly felt completely trapped in the vast chamber with the very tall walls that seemed to be suddenly closing in on me.
Ooohhh, what's going on?
I walked out of the chamber as I started to hear the whispers from the walls again.
The same feminine voices that echoed from the walls and in my head.
I ran through the dark corridor, past the royal guest chamber, the king's chamber, the court, and down the stone floor stairs until I reached my chamber downstairs.
I was feeling so dizzy and my vision blurred by the time I opened the door and got in.
I barely closed the door behind me when I slumped back on the furry bedding behind me.
And no matter how I fought it, the voices still tormented me even in my sleep.
Help!
Don't sleep!
Help us!
Your time is coming!…
But whatever spell had befallen me was greater than anything I could fight.
It was too strong for my blood to fight off.
And before I let it consume it, I saw Yennefer's lanky frame hovering right over me.
…
'Come on, child. Hurry before it gets too late. I am sure you don't want to be stuck here by the time the fogs descend."
At first, I thought it was the voices in my head doing whatever they were doing again. But as the voice became clearer, I realized it was not far from my chamber.
Probably from the next chamber.
'I d-d-didn't know I-I had to bring the s-s-supplies up myself, I w-would have told one of the soldiers to come with m-me,' the second person stammered.
I wasn't sure if he or she stammered normally or if it was out of fear.
'Stop whining like a little girl doll and bring the baskets up.' There was no mistaking Yennefer's voice.
I sat up on the bed immediately, and there was a lamp beside me and a burning incense by the corner of the chamber.
I could hear heavy grunts from the other chamber and the shuffling of feet.
'Be careful with those, or I will let your master know of your failure,' I heard Yennefer warn in a rather soft voice that almost sounded like a mother merely cautioning her child.
I was ready to lie back on the skin when realization hit me.
There is someone from town in the house…It's finally my chance.
Maybe the Holy Mother was listening to me all the while.
I ignored the sharp ache in my head and hurried down from the bed and towards the door.
Even if I couldn't follow them out and return to my mother, at least I could tell them to let her know that I was still alive, although I was not sure for how much longer.
I opened the door slightly and looked out into the corridor, but it was empty. Only the thick smell of raw fish lingered in the air with the fresh smell of soil and harvested foodstuffs.
No one appeared for a long while, and I wondered if I was late, if whoever it was had already left.
Hail, Mother of God…I heard myself begin to mutter under my breath. Blessed Virgin of virgins. Please…
I heard the sound of approaching feet scurrying under the weight of something heavy, even before I finished my prayer.
My eyes widened in anticipation, and when I finally saw the young man under the weight of the heavy baskets, I froze.
My heart raced, but my feet remained rooted in the same spot, trying to register if what my eyes were seeing was actually real.
My Fisher boy!
A voice, almost as if a human was standing right behind me, warned me to close the door before he saw me.
But there was no telling if that was one of the strange things trying to trap me in the house.
As he approached the store chamber beside mine, his eyes caught mine, and in an instant, his hands let go of the basket of fruits in his hands, and it fell heavily on his leg.
He let out a loud cry as he held onto his foot.
He will die if you go to him.
I threw caution to the wind and hurried towards him.
Yennefer appeared behind him just as I reached for his wounded foot.
He stared at me with wide eyes and trembled as I came closer to me.
'You are still alive?' his wide eyes were replaced with disbelief, which appeared all over his face as he noticed the wound on his foot was completely gone.
I had no time to process what had happened before Yennefer grimaced and walked gently towards us.
It was my turn to shrink back from her as she reached for my arm.
'Who told you you could come out of your chamber, child?'
'Please. Just this once. Please.' I begged as she pushed me back into my chamber.
But she didn't even think twice about it.
She shoved me into the room, and I heard the wood outside latch forcefully.
Every other word I heard from the other end was a muffled gabble.
I started hitting hard on the door.
Seeing him, touching him, reminded me of everything I could have been before being here.
I remembered Mother, and the first time I had spent time with the fisher boy on the night Mother had introduced me to his family.
Everything came crashing in on me as I pounded nonstop on the door.
I would rather be killed than live the rest of my agonizing days in here, slowly running mad and wondering if everything around me is real.