The clash of steel, the roar of rage, the wails of the butler… it all stopped. The only sound was the faint, spectral crackle of Skarg's ice spreading across the floor.
Marchosias froze, his grip on Skarg's antlers tightening. Nock, half-risen from the pile of chairs, stopped moving. Bune, who had been trying to reassemble Timon, went still.
And Zac stood there, watching, as the one unspeakable truth of the Captain's existence was laid bare for all to see.
"YOU DARE?!"
Marchosias roared. With a surge of pure, unrestrained fury, he twisted Skarg's antlers. There was a sound like a tree splitting in a thunderstorm. He ripped the massive rack of bone and ice clean from the wendigo's skull, then, in one fluid, brutal motion, plunged the jagged base of both antlers deep into Skarg's back.
Skarg howled, a sound of pure, unadulterated agony. "They were the perfect length, you sterile bitch!" he screamed, writhing on the floor.
Marchosias stomped a heavy, armored boot onto Skarg's neck, pinning him to the stone. He clenched his teeth, his muzzle wrinkled in a snarl of absolute hatred. A silver light, the annihilating fire of his angelic past, began to glow from his opening mouth, aimed directly at the back of Skarg's head.
"Ahem."
A small, delicate cough. Followed by another. Cough, cough.
"WHO THE FUCK HAS ALLERGIES?!" Marchosias bellowed, turning his furious, silver-lit gaze on the source of the interruption.
It was Zac.
The Captain's eyes went wide. The silver light in his mouth sputtered and died. His ears, which had been pinned back in rage, flattened in a completely different kind of panic.
"Oh, sorry," Zac said, giving another little fake cough and waving a hand in front of his face. "I just have a little tickle in my throat from all the dust. Maybe… you could itch it? With your dick?"
Marchosias went completely rigid. "How… how much of that did you hear?" he growled, his voice strained.
Zac slowly reached forward, ignoring the sword, the armor, the palpable aura of murder, and gently placed his hand on Marchosias's shoulder. "We don't have to talk about it now, in front of these… breeders," he said, his voice soft and full of a sympathy that was far more terrifying to the wolf than any threat. "But I had no idea. You've been in so much pain this whole time."
Tears, genuine and glistening, began to fall from Zac's eyes as he looked up at the Captain. "How long?" he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "You've been in this hot, perfect wolf body, and you really haven't… you haven't fucked anyone?"
Marchosias's fur stood straight on end. His tail tucked so hard it practically disappeared. A dark, visible blush spread across his muzzle. He began to back away, completely forgetting he was standing on Skarg's neck.
"ARGH!" Skarg wheezed as the Captain's full weight ground down on his throat.
"I knew I felt a connection with you," Zac continued, his voice full of dawning, tragic understanding. He stepped forward, right onto Skarg's back, to keep his hand on the retreating wolf's shoulder. "A bond. A kinship of the unfucked. Please, don't be scared. You can talk to me."
Marchosias tried to swat Zac's hand away, his movements frantic and clumsy. "Bad kitty! I am not scared of fucking! Give me some space! Personal boundaries!"
Zac just tightened his grip, his eyes full of a terrible, unwavering empathy. "It's okay," he cooed. "We can take it slow."
"Bune!" Marchosias nearly cried, his voice cracking with desperation. "Get the Avatar! Get him now!"
Zac had nearly pinned the Captain against the wall, his hands on the wolf's chest. "It's okay," he was cooing. "We can take it slow."
Just as he was leaning in, Bune finally intervened. The butler's clawed hands snagged Zac by the scruff of his leopard onesie, hoisting him into the air like a disobedient kitten.
Marchosias didn't hesitate. He crouched, ducking under the flailing human, and scrambled away. He only stopped to frantically flatten his ruffled fur after he was a safe, multi-armlengths distance away.
"You are supposed to be learning right now!" Marchosias snapped, trying to regain his composure and puffing out his chest. "Bune! Why are you here?!"
"It was lunch time, Captain," Bune replied calmly, still holding a squirming Zac. "The human body is so fragile. It consumes calories just by sitting and listening."
A low growl emanated from the floor. Skarg was pushing himself up, the broken bases of his antlers bleeding black ichor down his back. "Hey… you K-9 cock-sucker… I'm not done with you yet…"
Zac looked over and sighed. Skarg looked very much like he had been hit by a train, and then someone had tried to reassemble his body parts from memory. "Hey Skarg!" Zac smiled and waved.
"Ose…?" Skarg questioned, his eyes unfocused. "Why are you… oh. Oh, wait." He shook his massive head, the world snapping back into focus. He saw the leopard-print onesie. He saw Zac. "AVATAR!"
With a roar, Skarg bolted toward Zac, his arms outstretched, intent on sweeping the human up and claiming his prize.
He didn't make it. Marchosias stuck out an arm, clotheslining the charging wendigo. Skarg, moving at full speed, flipped head over heels over the Captain's arm and landed flat on his back with a resounding thump that shook the room.
"You're still in deep shit," Marchosias growled, looking down at the groaning caribou.
"You know," Zac said thoughtfully while dangling in Bune's grip, "instead of punishing him, why don't we just accept it?" He crossed his arms, looking down at the two panting and spent alphas. "All demons want to fuck virgins. It's a law of reality. I don't blame any of you. And," he paused for dramatic effect, "I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I'm a real team player."
He looked directly at Skarg. "So, I'm willing to submit myself to your nightly dream-torture. It's for the good of the warband. Morale. Synergy."
He then turned, his leopard-kitten eyes locking onto Marchosias. "Or maybe… you could torture me, Captain. For… discipline. To make sure I follow orders."
Marchosias's tail, which had been tucked in tight, gave a single, involuntary thump-thump against his leg.
"No," the wolf said, his voice strained. "That is a terrible idea."
But his tail wagged again.