"Fuck, my head hurts, where the hell am I?"
His head felt like it was about to burst as veins popped out of his head. It was clear that he was in agony as memories that weren't his own rampaged through his head, giving him a basic idea of what was going on.
My name is Huang Shi, I'm the 3rd son of the Sect Master of the Azure Dragon Sect, Huang Dao, and I'm known in the sect as the perverse wastrel.
Alright, I do admit that I'm perverted, but since when was I a wastrel??
Just when he thought things couldn't get any weirder, a voice rang through his head. It shook him out of his thoughts.
[Welcome to your new world host, the Scumbag Cultivation System is happy to serve you]
The Scumbag Cultivation System?! What the heck is that?!
Kai tried his hardest to breathe, calm down, and remember what he was doing before this entire mess started.
If I remember correctly, I was in the middle of fucking my best friend's girlfriend in his bed when he was on vacation.
But that dumb bitch couldn't even get the date of his return right. He ended up catching us in the act. He stabbed me with a knife.
He remembered that scene very well, his massive nerd of a best friend of 10 years suddenly told him that he finally got a girlfriend, and it was this black-haired, big-boobed beauty.
She had soft white skin and a pure aura around her, like she was someone who couldn't be violated.
The only problem was that this girl was clearly a massive nerd, and to court her, he had to go through all sorts of hoops to try and pretend that he was interested in her crap.
Thankfully, it was all worth it; that chick was delicious after all, and she was also a virgin.
Kai had a smirk on his face when he remembered his best friend Alex screaming in his face, asking him why he betrayed him, with a clear look of anguish on his face.
Alex, why couldn't you just have stayed a girlfriend-less loser until the end? You just had to get yourself a girlfriend; what did you think would happen?
Kai had a bit of a laugh until he remembered that the result of his decision had eventually led to him being stabbed in cold blood and dying.
Fuck, even if that bitch was delicious, that still doesn't mean it's worth it for me to die over that bullshit!!
He clenched his fist in rage as he punched the bedpost next to him, causing it to shake as he finally had enough time to take in his surroundings for a minute.
All right, before everything else, let's figure out where the hell I am first.
Kai took a moment to actually process his surroundings. He was sprawled across a massive canopy bed, sinking into a mattress so plush it felt like a cloud. The sheets were made of top-tier crimson silk, cool and unnervingly smooth against his skin.
Sunlight filtered through intricate paper screens, illuminating polished sandalwood furniture and gold-leaf accents that shimmered in the corners of the room.
It was clear that whoever owned this bedroom was not just rich; they were 'fuck-you' rich
Damn this guy is rich…wait a minute… If I died and I'm somehow here… doesn't that mean that I reincarnated?!
FUCK!! THIS IS AWESOME
Kai started to breathe heavily before trying to force himself to calm down, remembering the voice that rang through his head at the moment he woke up. He had a sudden thought before tentatively speaking in a soft voice.
"Status"
[Name: Huang Shi]
[Sect: Azure Dragon Sect]
[Status: Son of the Sect Master]
[Cultivation Base: None]
[Talent: Extremely Poor – Crippled Spiritual Veins]
What the fuck?! Extremely poor talent? Crippled Spiritual Veins?! How is that possible?!
I'm clearly the protagonist, why do I have such dogshit luck?!
Kai gritted his teeth in rage; he was feeling indignant.
All right, let's calm down. There's something fishy going on.
He tried to analyze the memories he just recently received, trying to find the reason why he would be crippled like this, and the more he looked, the more strange his expression became until finally he just sat there in a daze, looking like he had lost his soul, as his fists clenched in anger.
How could the previous owner of this body be this stupid?! You actually got tricked by a bitch and ended up getting not only crippled but also killed?!
I know that you're a damn womanizer, but couldn't you have picked a safer target?! Why the hell would you try to assault the granddaughter of a Grand Elder?!
Not to mention that bitch is dating your elder brother!!
The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he got before finally sighing in an exaggerated fashion.
Whatever. No use crying over a dead man's mistakes. If this world followed the rules of the novels he'd read, the System was his ultimate cheat—it had to have a fix.
"Hey, System," Kai whispered, his voice tight. "Is there any way to fix these crippled veins? I can't exactly have fun in this world if I'm crippled"
Kai waited, his heart thudding against his ribs. After a tense silence, the cold, mechanical voice resonated in his skull.
[First Quest Generated: Steal Your First Heroine]
[Description: The Host's foundation is shattered. To remedy this, the System requires the Host to 'claim' the woman of another cultivator. By stealing the wife/girlfriend of a significant figure within the Azure Dragon Sect, the resulting despair will be converted into restorative energy.]
[Note: The higher the status of the victim, the greater the rewards. Success will result in a full restoration of the Host's Spiritual Veins.]
Kai stared at the floating red text, a slow, twisted grin spreading across his face.
"What the fuck?!" he breathed, half-horrified and half-impressed. "You want me to do exactly what got me killed? This really is a scumbag system."