`In the Uchiha district, the tall man and the short boy stood in front of a house, talking.
"Her..." Madara mused, giving his evaluation. "She is a rather tragic figure, but incredibly strong."
"I recall her father died in battle before the village was founded. That was when she awakened her Two-Tomoe Sharingan. Her mother passed away a few months after Konoha was built, due to old internal injuries from the war. That was when I noticed... her eyes had changed."
Thank god I didn't ask Sister Naori about her family. That would have been pouring salt on the wound, Mizuna thought, feeling relieved.
After finishing his story, Madara looked at Mizuna.
"You didn't come here just to ask about her, right? What do you actually want, Mizuna?"
Mizuna grinned mischievously at Madara.
"Hehe~ Big Bro Madara, I actually have a favor to ask you."
Mizuna explained the mission to help Hashirama quit gambling.
Madara agreed immediately. It was a good cause. After all, his best friend was perfect in every way—except for being an airhead, overly dramatic, and a degenerate gambler.
Then, Madara suddenly remembered something. Maybe Hashirama's losses weren't entirely his fault. Every time Hashirama bet on something involving Madara, his luck became astronomically bad. It was like God himself was rigging the game against him.
Madara recalled a childhood memory by the river. They had made a bet on who could pee the farthest.
Just as Madara started, Hashirama ran behind him.
Now, everyone knows Madara hates people standing behind him. It makes him unable to... perform.
Hashirama used this tactic to make Madara lose. But when it was Hashirama's turn, karma struck. He had drunk too much water, and his bladder was so swollen he couldn't get it out.
The idiot started screaming that his kidneys hurt, but he was clutching his stomach.
"MY KIDNEY! AHHH! MY KIDNEY!" Hashirama screamed like he was dying.
"Hashirama, are you okay? Also... you're holding your stomach," Madara said, panicked.
"MADARA! MY KIDNEY! IT'S EXPLODING!" Hashirama continued to howl.
"That's definitely your stomach..."
"Ma... Madara... My... My kidney..." Hashirama's voice grew weaker, but he insisted on blaming his kidneys.
Madara: "......"
In the end, if Madara hadn't physically helped Hashirama squeeze the pee out, the future God of Shinobi would have died from a burst bladder.
As for how he helped... well, I don't know. You'll have to ask Madara yourself.
Thinking back on that memory, Madara's face turned slightly red.
Mizuna saw Madara stay silent for a long time with a blushing face. He thought Madara was reluctant to help.
"Big Bro Madara, don't you want to help Brother-in-law? This is really for his own good! Please, Big Bro Madara, help him!"
Hearing Mizuna's plea, Madara snapped out of it and realized Mizuna had misunderstood.
"It's nothing... Mizuna. I agree to help Hashirama quit gambling. I just remembered... some unpleasant things," Madara explained, his face still flushed.
Seeing Madara agree, Mizuna didn't pry into why the legendary Uchiha was blushing. He just got happy.
"Thanks, Big Bro Madara!"
Mizuna thanked him and left the Uchiha compound.
"Hn." Madara grunted a soft acknowledgment.
He watched the direction Mizuna left, then glanced toward Uchiha Naori's house.
"Sigh."
Madara sighed and went back inside his own home.
---
"Current Objective: Find Hashirama and ensure he doesn't gamble for 24 hours."
Lost in thought, Mizuna arrived at the main gate of the Uchiha district.
He saw Uchiha Daikon (Uncle Daikon) standing guard again. A mischievous thought bubbled up in Mizuna's mind.
"Yo! Uncle Daikon? Not gonna stop me this time?"
"Hmph!" Uchiha Daikon scoffed, clearly ignoring Mizuna.
"Yo? Playing hard to get? Watch this, Uncle Daikon."
Mizuna started hopping back and forth across the threshold line.
"Right foot, let's stomp! Left foot, let's stomp! I'm out! I'm in! I'm out again! I'm in again! Eh? Whatcha gonna do? Hit me, you idiot!"
Mizuna shook his butt while taunting him.
Daikon tried to ignore him, but seeing this chaotic dance and hearing the provocation, he snapped. He activated his Sharingan, ready to teach this brat a lesson in respect.
But he underestimated Mizuna. The kid executed a frame-perfect speedrun strat and sprinted away before Daikon could even move.
"You brat! Don't let me catch you! If I catch you, you're dead meat!!!"
Uchiha Daikon was left raging impotently at the air, kicking up several innocent patches of grass in frustration.
---
Meanwhile, Hashirama had just been kicked out of his house by his wife.
Hashirama had gone to ask Mito for some allowance. Usually, she would nag him a bit but still give him the money. But today, she acted completely out of character, scolded him for an hour, and threw him out.
"What's wrong...? Did I do something to upset Mito again? But I haven't done anything! Is it because I went to chat with Madara all night yesterday, so she's jealous?"
As Hashirama pondered this, he heard shouting nearby. It was the barker from the casino, soliciting customers.
Hashirama looked. He was tempted.
The barker noticed the "Fat Sheep" (Hashirama) immediately.
"Aiyaya! Isn't this Lord Hokage? Want to play a few hands? I have a feeling today is your lucky day! You'll definitely win back everything you lost before!"
Listening to the sweet devil's whisper, Hashirama's hands started itching. He wanted to rush in and gamble for three days and three nights.
But alas, he was broke. He didn't even have the capital to enter.
Hashirama thought left and right, and finally, he thought of his best friend/atm machine, Uchiha Madara.
"I'll go borrow some from Madara. He'll definitely lend it to me."
Hashirama ran toward the Uchiha district.
The casino barker watched the retreating Hokage in confusion.
"Did the sun rise from the west? The Hokage isn't gambling?"
---
Hashirama arrived at the Uchiha gate and saw Uchiha Daikon, whose face was currently red with rage (Red Team).
"Eh? Is that Uncle Daikon? Long time no see!"
Hashirama waved happily.
Uchiha Daikon thought, Didn't we just see each other last night? But he didn't say it out loud and returned the greeting.
"Yes! Lord Hokage, long time no see."
"Uncle Daikon? What's wrong? Why is your face so red?" Hashirama asked with innocent curiosity.
Daikon looked at the clueless, airheaded expression on the Hokage's face. He tried to suppress his anger from the Mizuna incident.
"Uncle Daikon? Now your face is turning... purple?"
Hashirama spoke again.
"I am just... Spirited! Fired up with Youth!" Daikon gritted his teeth and lied.
"Then why... is your face turning yellow now?"
Hashirama asked, genuinely concerned that the man had jaundice.
Uchiha Daikon couldn't take it anymore.
"WHAT DOES MY FACE COLOR HAVE TO DO with YOU?!!"
Seeing the elder so angry, Hashirama laughed awkwardly and slipped past him into the compound.
He arrived at Madara's house.
Madara opened the door to find Hashirama standing there with a goofy, toothy grin.
"Madara! Can you lend me some money? I'll pay you back double!" Hashirama said cheerfully.
Madara looked at his best friend and sighed.
"I can't lend you money, Hashirama..." Madara said helplessly.
"Whyyyy?!"
Hashirama made his signature pitiful puppy-dog face (the "Depression Mode").
Madara had to slam the door shut immediately, fearing that if he looked for one more second, he would cave in and give him the money.
Facing the closed door, Hashirama slumped over. A dark cloud formed over his head. He walked out of the Uchiha compound, defeated.
As he exited the gate, he saw Uchiha Daikon sitting on a bench, his face now pale white from the stress.
"Uncle Daikon? Why is your face white now?"
Hearing this sentence, Uchiha Daikon's blood pressure skyrocketed, and his face instantly flushed dark red again.
He opened his mouth to scream, but realized Hashirama had already used Body Flicker to disappear!
"THE BRATS OF KONOHA ARE BULLYING A SENIOR CITIZEN!!!"
That day, everyone in the village heard the heart-wrenching scream coming from the Uchiha district gate.
---