Konoha. Senju Compound.
Mizuna was kneeling on the floor, clutching his bruised face.
Hashirama was also kneeling beside him, his face covered in blue and purple bruises.
Mito was staring them down with furious eyes.
"Speak. Why were you smoking?"
Mizuna raised his hand slowly.
"Sis... I wasn't smoking. I was planning to give these cigarettes as a gift to Brother Mokuma..."
Mito then turned to Hashirama.
"Why were you smoking again?"
Hashirama trembled.
"I... I... Mito, I was just helping Mizuna test the cigarettes... checking the quality of the gift..."
Veins popped on Mito's forehead.
"If he asks you to smoke, you smoke? If I ask you not to smoke, why do you still smoke?"
Cold sweat dripped from Hashirama's forehead.
"M... Mito, that's different..."
Tears welled up in Mito's eyes.
"I get it... you don't love me anymore, do you? You just don't like me! You used to listen to me! Now you argue with me!"
Seeing Mito cry, Hashirama panicked immediately.
"Mito, why are you crying? Don't cry, Mito! I was wrong, I really know I was wrong! I'll never smoke again, please forgive me!"
Mito didn't stop crying; her offensive only intensified.
"You said that last time too! You haven't changed at all! You are a bastard!"
Saying this, Mito knelt down and continued crying, deactivating her Nine-Tails Mode.
At this moment, Kurama walked out of another room.
Yes, Kurama could now freely enter and exit the seal and lived in Hashirama's house.
Currently, Kurama looked exactly like a small fox walking upright. If he transformed into a human, he would undoubtedly be a cute little boy (Shota). If... if Kurama didn't speak...
Because Kurama's voice was still that of a gruff middle-aged man.
Imagine a soft, cute orange fox looking at you with big, watery eyes.
Just as you think it's going to turn into a little blonde loli and live happily ever after with you...
It suddenly asks you in a deep, rough voice: "Hey brat! Got a smoke? Give me two~"
What would you do?
Mizuna found it very difficult to deal with.
Kurama walked out of the room, scratching his butt and shouting:
"Who the f is buying millet?! Who is it? So noisy! Can't a fox get some sleep?!" (Note: "Buying Millet" is a misheard lyric meme or just random nonsense).
Mizuna was certain Kurama had been woken up by the noise...
Seeing the couple crying on the floor, Kurama walked over confusedly.
"Are you two playing some new roleplay? So noisy! Can you keep it down?"
The couple ignored Kurama and continued their tearful argument.
"So you don't love me anymore! We've been married for so long, but you still can't forget that black-haired Uchiha!"
Hashirama froze.
"What does this have to do with Madara? Mito, you can't accuse Madara like that."
Mito froze, then cried even louder.
"See! See! You're yelling at me to defend him! I can't live with you anymore!"
Hashirama was confused, then started crying out of grievance too.
"Waaah! Mito, how can you slander my pure friendship with Madara? It's pure friendship! Waaaaah!"
"Bullsht! If it's pure friendship, why do you always have sleepovers?! Waaaaah!"
Kurama's head hurt watching them. He wanted a smoke to calm down. He reached into his pocket but found it empty.
Then he spotted the red cigarette box on the table.
"Oho? New smokes? Just in time! Let me have one."
Kurama picked up the box and read the name.
"Hwa Gae (Hua Zi)? Interesting~"
He took one out and lit it skillfully.
"Hiss~ Phew~ Mmm! Good smoke! Good stuff!"
Then Kurama stuffed the whole pack into his pocket.
(Tailed Beast's 4D Pocket / Hammerspace).
He walked over to the kneeling Mizuna and asked:
"Brat! Is this the new cigarette you developed? Where can I buy it? I want some~"
Mizuna clutched his swollen face and looked at the smoking fox.
"Not for sale yet."
Kurama was stunned.
"It's already made, why not sell it?"
Mizuna explained exasperatedly for the umpteenth time:
"It's for gifting..."
Then he explained the difference between Soft and Hard Chunghwa to Kurama.
Kurama's eyes lit up. He said to Mizuna:
"Um... Mizuna... I want to help you taste the Soft Hwa Gae... can I..." He reached for the cigarettes in Mizuna's chest.
Mizuna slapped Kurama's furry hand away.
"Dream on! I need to give them as gifts, don't even think about it!"
Seeing Mizuna so serious, Kurama muttered:
"Tch... Stingy!"
He walked back to his room to sleep.
Seeing the couple still going at it ("You don't love me!" "I do!"), Mizuna quietly slipped away back to his own room.
This dialogue continued all night.
---
The Next Morning.
Mizuna woke up and found Hashirama and Mito both passed out on the living room floor. He shook his head and covered them with a blanket.
Mizuna had already hidden the cigarettes in the System Inventory. Someone had tried to sneak into his room last night to steal them, so he felt the System was safer.
Mizuna sighed deeply.
"Guarding against thieves by day and night, but hard to guard against thieves within the family~"
In Kurama's room, the fox's eyes were extremely swollen.
Last night, Kurama had tried to sneak into Mizuna's room to swipe a few packs of Soft Hwa Gae. Unexpectedly, Mizuna was awake and splashed Kurama's face with chili water.
Where did the chili water come from? Mizuna prepared it in advance, having seen through the fox's intentions long ago.
---
Konoha Streets.
Mizuna was walking down the street, but everyone was looking at him with strange eyes and whispering.
"Did you hear? That redhead..."
"Really? I heard that too..."
"No way? He really did that?"
"Definitely true! Do you doubt the intelligence network of the aunties at the village entrance?"
"Then it must be true..."
Mizuna was confused. He walked over to ask.
"Big brother... what..."
Before Mizuna could finish, the two men ran away screaming.
"Holy sht! Don't kill me! I don't have any cough syrup!" (Note: Viral ad meme "Why are you chasing me? I want your cough syrup!").
Everyone Mizuna met ran away like this.
Mizuna was even more confused. Why is everyone acting so weird today?
Up ahead, he saw his classmates gathered together, chatting about something.
Mizuna walked up to ask.
Surprisingly, Hiruzen saw Mizuna coming and immediately blocked Koharu Utatane.
"Koharu! Don't worry! I definitely won't let Mizuna hurt you!"
Mizuna: ?
Danzo walked over, put a hand on Mizuna's shoulder, and asked:
"Mizuna... do you really have that kind of fetish? It's okay, tell us... Hiruzen and I won't despise you!"
Mizuna: ??
Kagami Uchiha walked out and said:
"Best friend! I believe you are definitely not that kind of person! Someone must have framed you!"
Mizuna: ???
Just as Mizuna was confused, Koharu Utatane elbowed Hiruzen (the Clown) aside and rushed forward.
"Mizuna-kun~ It... it doesn't matter! Even if Mizuna-kun likes girls' panties, it's okay... I... I can give you mine..."
The surrounding girls swarmed him.
"That's right! Mizuna-kun doesn't need to steal!"
"Yeah! Asking us is fine too!"
"We don't mind!"
Hiruzen, lying on the ground, transformed into Joker Mode again, tears streaming down his face.
Mizuna: "HUH?"
......