Old man Humphrey chewed his tobacco and spat into a tin can.
"The last letter, they said they were reading em' books and he was struggling with math."
"Well, the way he's got buster riled up, dog seems to be struggling with John."
"They named him after your grandfather, you know. What would Joseph have said? If he could see you now."
"Well somethin' was wrong with him to, an' now somethin' ain't right wit' that damn boy".
"Well honey, I think he's adorable." His wife, Sharon, said.
"Done caught the dog eating off his plate."
"What's that got to do with they boy?" She asked, twisting her eyes at him.
"Well I looked under the table and I saw the boy eating from the dog's bowl." He shook his head.
"He's growing up Humph-"
Humphrey lowered his head and raised his finger. "Quiet…!" He looked up at the ceiling, staring at a single point. Someone might think he'd been transfixed by a change in pressure, for an incoming storm. The folks around, they'd all visited and talked with each other a bit, and they knew that old man Humphrey had a talent for sensing a storm.
But she knew he was concentrating on something much more stupid.
"Humphrey Ironfuck you will cease this nonsense at once!"
He looked down at her, eyes wide.
"Sharon, you haven't seen their house. The blood…" Humphrey took a step forward, but Sharon's eyes deceived the emotion's she was trying to hide.
"You know where they found the boy?"
"You're not the same man I married. Tim, he's a child. Please for the sake of god listen to reason."
"He's going to hurt us Sharon… but I think I know what's making him behave this way Sharon. I've been observing the boy. It's those little electronic shooting things"
The upstairs floor creaked. They could see John was hiding, but hadn't realized they'd spotted him.
Humphrey flinched, looking back. "John? Hey buddy" he held his hand up. "Please, no roughhousing. We're having a very serious discussion right now."
Sharon had stood up and smiled. "Hey bun, what's going on?"
"Just playing, love you!" John smiled, giggling, he turned back into his room, shutting the door as he went.
"Oh honey come on, don't you see?"
Humphrey flushed, casting his eyes down, he folded his arms and refused to speak.
"Hey…" She walked over, wrapping her arms around him. She laughed, "I called him bun. The two of you can be my honey-bun."
In the background, upstairs, they could hear John playing. "neutron bomb that doesn't hurt John! T minus… uh 50 seconds!"
"No!" Humphrey bucked – Sharon fell into him. Humphrey turned sideways, his leg caught on something.
He wrested his foot free, tearing the cuff of his pants. He sprinted up the stairs.
"T minus one seconds."
Humphrey clawed at the doorknob, John continued, and he realized that John had only learned to count to two."