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Chapter 40 - Chapter 40: I Wouldn't Be Surprised at All if the Sanae Got Arrested

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A wooden statue personally carved by Sanae Kochiya: "Placing it on the farm and worshiping it daily can double the smallest probability among all probabilistic events."

Isn't Lord Sanae impressive?

Here's the catch. Example: When using the Seed Maker, there is a 0.5% chance to get an Ancient Seed. With the Sanae Statue, it becomes 1%.

It doesn't seem like much, but Leo wanted psychological comfort. If it were 100%, it would be cheating.

However, the statue was... cursed. Example: If there's a 1% chance of choking to death on a strawberry... now it's 2%. If there's a 0.001% chance of accidentally throwing yourself over a cliff while stretching... now it's 0.002%.

That was the problem with a crudely made statue. A "Perfect Sanae Statue" would selectively double beneficial probabilities. But the one Leo had was just a blocky Minecraft figure with "Sanae" carved on the back. It didn't discriminate.

Leo planned to wait until he was killed by a freak accident, then haunt Sanae as a ghost to guilt-trip her into carving a better one.

Leo finished bowing. The Gold Star Strawberry he placed on the altar vanished.

Moriya Shrine.

Kanako stared at the faith flowing into the shrine. It was so devout, so pure, yet... strange.

"What does he mean by 'God of Growth Hormones' and 'God of High-Grade Fertilizer'?" Kanako muttered. "In this boy's mind, he genuinely treats us as literal fertilizer. He just wants to sprinkle us on the crops."

"Young people's ideas are truly bizarre."

She picked up the strawberry from the altar and took a bite. It was an offering given freely, so she ate it with peace of mind.

"Let go!"

Suwako leaped into the air and snatched the half-eaten strawberry.

"Such a big strawberry was meant for Sanae! What are you eating for, you faith-based ghost? Do you even have taste buds?"

Suwako took a bite of the remaining half. Since the old fogeys had already contaminated it, they decided to finish this one and leave the other two for Sanae.

"So... should we accept this faith?" Kanako asked, wiping juice from her lip. "It might affect our Divine Offices."

Faith shapes the god. If too many people believed Kanako was the "God of Fertilizer," she might literally turn into a bag of manure.

"Of course we take it!" Suwako swallowed the strawberry. "What era do you think this is? Do you still want to cling to outdated domains like 'War' or 'Wind'? Back in the Outside World, if Sanae promoted herself as the 'God of Gacha Pity,' she'd be richer than Reimu by now!"

Suwako grabbed the faith energy and refined it instantly.

"I! SMELL! IT!"

CRASH.

The shrine window exploded inward. Megumu Iizunamaru, the Great Tengu, crawled in like a creature from The Ring.

She had crawled all the way from the mid-mountain Tengu village to the summit, driven by a primal addiction.

"Where is it! Where are the strawberries! Let me have a bite! Just one bite! I'm dying!"

Megumu looked like a drug addict in withdrawal. Her eyes were bloodshot.

"I smell it on your lips!"

Megumu launched herself at Kanako, tongue out, trying to lick the residual juice from the Goddess's mouth.

Kanako phased through the wall in sheer terror.

"You Old Hag!" Megumu screamed at the empty wall. "We had a deal! You promised me the first harvest! I'm going to blow up your shrine!"

Failing to find the strawberries, Megumu descended into madness. She punched a hole through the roof and flew toward the dimension gap.

Sanae, who had just finished her weather broadcast, stood in the ruins of her home, bewildered.

"Go ask Hatate for the repair costs," Suwako reappeared (having hidden the remaining strawberries in subspace). "And overcharge her."

"Never get between a Tengu and a Strawberry," Suwako advised sagely. "It's worse than cats and catnip."

Stardew Valley.

Leo happily had Aya take promotional photos of his strawberries. Then he listed them on the app.

Regular: 120 Gold/lb

Silver: 150 Gold/lb

Gold: 180 Gold/lb

Expensive? Yes. But the hand speed of Gensokyo youkai was terrifying.

Leo dumped a crate into the Shipping Bin.

Ping.

Sold instantly.

If Leo accidentally put his hand in the bin, he was pretty sure his arm would be sold before he could pull it out.

On Youkai Mountain, the entire Tengu population stood frozen, thumbs tapping their screens at Mach speed.

"I GOT ONE!"

"Damn it! Who is stealing my bandwidth?!"

A crate of strawberries materialized on a Tengu's head. The others looked at him with murderous envy.

The Shipping Bin was a bottomless pit. Leo's gold count skyrocketed. He recouped his 17,000 investment in minutes and hit 20,000 Gold before he stopped selling.

"Gone? It's gone already? NOOO!"

Wails of despair echoed across the mountain. To an outsider, it sounded like the Great Tengu had died.

(If it had been Aya who died, they would be setting off fireworks.)

The Tengu were rich, efficient, and ruthless. They were the perfect customers for Leo's high-end fruit monopoly.

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