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Three days later...
After violently not sleeping for three whole, agonizing days, pacing her room like a caged tiger, Yukari Yakumo finally, miraculously sensed the administrative lockdown fading and the location of the Stardew Valley dimension reappearing on her magical radar. Completely without regard for the massive group of worried Great Youkai still camped out in the Lost Home's living room, she immediately tore open a massive, jagged Gap and rushed headfirst through it.
But what she saw next made her violently spit out a massive mouthful of old, aristocratic blood directly onto the dirt.
Her beautiful, pristine Great Fox was leaning intimately, lovingly against that detestable, dense little human brother on the farmhouse porch. Ran was positively radiating a terrifying, blinding maternal brilliance, gently rocking a swaddled little baby girl in her arms. The fluffy golden fox ears and the jet-black human hair on the baby's head were exceptionally, horrifyingly conspicuous.
Ran saw her Master arrive through the Gap, smiled shyly and radiantly, and then gently handed the squirming child in her arms toward the Sage.
"Hello, Grandma!"
Trembling uncontrollably, Yukari took the bundled baby from Ran's arms. As she slowly, fearfully lowered her head, she met the baby's bright eyes. The newborn baby suddenly, impossibly opened its mouth and introduced itself with perfect, mocking diction, while behind her came that highly annoying little brother's smug voice.
"My dad's surname is Mo Gu (Leo), and my hair is black like a human's, so I'm called... Mo Mo Hei! Cute, right, Grandma?!" the baby giggled.
"Hey, old lady, you're finally here," Leo's voice drawled from the porch. "Is it cool if my 'Sunshine Rainbow Little White Horse' car is permanently parked right under your building?!"
All of the above terrifying scenario was entirely Yukari Yakumo's sleep-deprived, paranoid fantasy.
How on earth could human biology possibly be that fast?! These were all just horrific, intrusive things she actively imagined while locked out, but the more she obsessively thought about the worst-case scenario, the angrier she got. And the angrier she got, the more her chaotic magic spiked, and the more she simply couldn't hack her way into Stardew Valley through the lockdown, making her whole body swell up furiously like a spiked pufferfish.
On Spring Island at this exact moment...
A massive, sandy ground completely full of empty, cracked oyster and clam shells proved the absolute intensity of the recent culinary battle.
Leo, who was greedily eating premium, fresh seafood in massive, unchewed mouthfuls for the absolute first time in his life, successfully stuffed himself to the physical point of painful discomfort. He lay flat on his back, his head resting comfortably on Ran Yakumo's soft thigh, groaning a pathetic "aiyo, aiyo" in pain.
"Lord Leo, really, if you physically can't eat anymore without bursting, then simply don't force it. Absolutely not everyone is biologically built like Lady Yuyuko, with an infinite, iron stomach."
Gently, expertly stroking Leo's swollen stomach with her warm hand, Ran's massage technique was extremely, maternally skilled. In the past, the kitten Chen was exactly like this too—every single time she greedily ate far too much food at festivals, she would whine, lie on Ran's lap, and have her tight stomach rubbed until she digested. If you lightly scratched her chin while doing it, the cat would make incredibly cute, rumbling purring sounds.
"Burp~ Excuse me," Leo groaned, patting his own stomach. "Ran, you have to understand... this is the absolute, ultimate childhood dream of a poor kid born in an inland, landlocked province—an all-you-can-eat, free seafood buffet! Massive Scallops, fresh Oysters, tender Squid! What kind of depressing, hard culinary life did I live before this?! Stringy Green Beans, cheap Potatoes, watery Cabbage—just exactly these three depressing things in rotation every single day! Now that I can finally eat premium seafood to my heart's absolute content without looking at a price tag, I'm going to eat my fill first and worry about the stomachache later!"
Leo lay happily on Ran's soft leg, his chin pleasantly tickled by Ran's gentle massage technique. He looked up lazily toward the sky, but his upward vision was completely, entirely blocked by something incredibly soft and massive.
The sky... is so incredibly vast and bouncy up close~~
"Ran, let me ask you a completely random fitness question," Leo mumbled. "Can you physically do the classic 'Sit-and-Reach Test'?"
Suddenly thinking of a highly mischievous, perverted idea, Leo smirked. Since Satori Komeiji, that bad, mind-reading thing, wasn't here to expose his thoughts to the world, he could freely think and scheme about absolutely anything he wanted without fear of judgment.
"Sit-and-Reach Test? What exactly is that?"
The ancient, old-fashioned Ran Yakumo honestly didn't know what modern physical education test Leo was talking about and asked innocently, tilting her head.
"It's a standard, human flexibility test," Leo explained, his voice taking on a somewhat seductive, manipulative tone. "Do exactly as I say: first, sit up and straighten your legs out completely without bending your knees, then firmly use your fingers to reach forward and try to touch your toes. The greater the physical contact area between your hands and feet, the better your overall flexibility score."
Completely unaware of his dark, perverted intentions, Ran obediently followed Leo's strict instructions. She straightened her long legs in the sand and then leaned her upper body heavily downward, stretching her hands forward toward her boots as hard as she could...
Hoho, this soft, heavy squeezing sensation directly on my face is absolute bliss! Leo thought, barely suppressing a nosebleed. Only someone as incredibly 'ample' and blessed as Ran could give this suffocatingly perfect feeling when bending over him. If it were the flat-chested Satori Komeiji doing this, his nose bridge would simply be brutally crushed against her ribs!
Bending her flexible body with great effort, Ran successfully hooked her palms firmly onto the tops of her boots. She smiled proudly, wondering if Lord Leo would be professionally satisfied with this perfect flexibility result.
"Leo? Lord Leo, wake up! Why on earth are you suddenly bleeding heavily from your nose?!"
Sitting back up, Ran looked down and saw Leo lying completely still on her leg with his eyes closed peacefully. His face was entirely serene as if he had just happily passed away in his sleep, with a thick trail of bright red nosebleed flowing happily down his cheek.
Ran panicked instantly. She wanted to quickly stand up and find medical supplies, but was firmly held back by the "already-dead" Leo, who stubbornly gripped her skirt and absolutely wouldn't let her rise.
"My life... absolutely has zero regrets!" Leo mumbled weakly, smiling like a Buddha.
Seeing the incredibly creepy, satisfied smile on Leo's face—which looked exactly, terrifyingly like Marisa Kirisame's smug face after successfully freeloading a massive meal and stealing books at the Scarlet Devil Mansion—even the usually slow-witted, innocent Ran Yakumo finally knew exactly what perverted thing had just happened.
An ancient maiden's wavering, furious killing intent briefly surpassed absolutely everything else on the beach.
"Lord~ Leo~"
Ran's voice was suddenly very, very gentle and sweet, but her hand slowly, menacingly moved down from his stomach to the soft, vulnerable flesh right at Leo's waist. This lethal, pinching technique is an absolute martial skill all girls inherently possess without ever being formally taught—a terrifying instinct engraved deeply in their DNA since the dawn of humanity.
"Ah! Ow! Ran, I'm completely rested now! I'm fully healed!"
Feeling the terrifying, cold touch of impending doom at his waist, a powerful, primal survival instinct made Leo suddenly do a perfect, lightning-fast sit-up. You have to know, in his past life on Earth, his core was so weak he couldn't even do one single sit-up without someone holding his feet!
Standing up quickly and dusting off his pants, Leo grabbed the trembling hand that had been just about to violently pinch his soft flesh and quickly, enthusiastically pulled Ran up and into the woods to change the subject.
All the valuable shells washed up on the beach by the waves had already been aggressively collected by him, and there was nothing left to profitably explore on the sand. They needed to finish exhaustingly exploring the rest of the jungle island quickly and return home early.
At the chaotic time of the meteor shower, he had only selfishly thought about magically shielding everyone's lives and the buildings, but had completely forgotten the actual farm animals were still actively hiding in the Little Fairies' hands. Tomorrow morning, he'd exhaustingly have to manually, physically pet and brush every single animal one by one to maintain their hearts.
Another day, he'd absolutely have to commission Nitori Kawashiro to engineer an automatic, steam-powered petting machine... It should be pretty simple mechanically, right? Just make a large rotating wooden pillar covered in soft brushes, and forcefully tie a few desperate Little Kappa interns who need college credits to the crank. Rotate them daily—a very easy, fulfilling internship opportunity! He could even officially stamp their corporate internship certificates for the Little Kappa who came to work the crank!
Most of Spring Island's interior is covered with dense, wild crops. Basically, absolutely everything Leo could think of from the spring catalog was hidden there. Although the raw quantity of each plant wasn't massive, with the magical help of his crafted Seed Maker machine back home, they should be able to process these wild fruits and completely cover the main farm with high-tier crops very quickly.
On the second night on Spring Island.
Yesterday, there were still noisy, chaotic little ones actively getting in the way of his romance. Today, besides him and Ran Yakumo, there absolutely wasn't a single living, humanoid person left in all of the Stardew Valley dimension. The skeletal Legendary Fish deep in the lake doesn't count as a person—it's just a fish.
"I'm going to take a long, hot bath. I've been exhaustingly crawling through the muddy woods all day and am completely covered in dust and bug bites. Ran, do you want to bathe too?"
Leo put down his heavy, fruit-filled backpack in the farmhouse living room and stretched his sore back. His words seemed casual and polite as he said he was going to bathe, but the heavy, romantic implication and his sneaky, sidelong glances were so incredibly, transparently obvious that even the idiot fairy Cirno could easily tell something perverted was off.
"I... I'll absolutely go bathe too! But every single room on the third floor here has its own attached bathroom! I'll just use this completely separate room down the hall!"
Ran Yakumo flusteredly, frantically found a random bedroom, sprinted inside, and violently closed the heavy wooden door, locking it loudly. B-Bathing together naked with a man was still far, far too fast for her heart! Even though in the past, at the hot Geyser in Gensokyo, a massive bunch of people often bathed naked together, they were strictly all girls!
"Alright, then hurry up and wash. I'll go to bed first in a bit."
Leo helplessly sighed, his romantic plan foiled. He turned around, found the master bedroom, took off his dirty, sweaty clothes, and prepared to bathe.
After filling the massive, claw-foot bathtub with steaming hot water, he soaked comfortably, letting the heat soothe his muscles. Come to think of it, it seemed he now actually had some subtle, passive magical abilities as a World Lord, like naturally not getting as dirty or sweaty as a normal person.
But fundamentally not getting dirty is one thing—after crawling through the humid woods all day, he still felt psychologically, deeply uncomfortable without a shower. And how could he possibly give up something as incredibly relaxing and luxurious as bathing in hot water just because of a minor passive ability, especially when there's a massive, pristine bathtub right here?
Besides his childhood dream of eating all-you-can-eat seafood, he had another massive, unattainable dream back on Earth: to have a real, full-sized bathtub at home just for soaking after work.
His miserable, rented apartment back in his previous life was only 60 square meters in total, with a tiny, cramped, moldy bathroom of just exactly three square meters. Forget a luxurious bathtub—when simply trying to take a standing shower, he exhaustingly had to physically unplug and move the heavy washing machine completely out of the bathroom into the hallway just to have enough physical room to turn around and wash!