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"To promote friendly exchanges between our two lands, Tracen Academy cordially invites you to co-host a friendly competition. This event is intended solely to showcase the athletic spirit of our respective worlds. Specific events will be decided upon mutual consultation later. Our entire academy will participate, and we request that your side dispatch contestants of equal strength."
Symboli Rudolf's heavy, cream-colored letter—sealed tightly with incredibly expensive, corporate red wax—was far, far too bureaucratic and official. Leo's head aggressively began to violently ache after reading exactly just a tiny bit of the dense, formal text. He quickly, lazily scanned the absolute rest of the fancy parchment and instantly, cynically summarized the entire diplomatic document in a few blunt sentences in his mind:
I saw that there are terrifyingly fast experts completely in your team exactly during the daytime training, and my competitive feet are incredibly itching for a massive race.
"Youmu, how long does it take you to run around Stardew Valley once?"
Casually tossing the heavy, expensive letter directly over to Yukari Yakumo, who was logically best at heavily handling such ancient, bureaucratic matters, Leo turned his head and curiously asked Youmu Konpaku.
"Me? At a normal walking pace, a few minutes. At full speed, no more than a minute. The main issue is the curves; it's hard to maintain acceleration."
Youmu Konpaku was currently, rapidly cracking dried melon seeds entirely for Yuyuko using terrifying, microscopic bursts of sword ki. Hearing Leo's sudden question, she paused, looked up with her silver hair swaying, thought seriously for a brief moment, and completely gave a highly conservative, terrifying estimate. She absolutely hadn't actually, physically run at her absolute, maximum combat speed in Stardew Valley yet, mostly for fear of violently crashing through a mountain.
"Chomp, chomp, chomp. Just agree to it. I want to participate when the intelligence competition comes around. Watch me dominate everyone!"
A tiny, dark Gap suddenly, silently closed in mid-air, and Yukari Yakumo's naughty, thieving little hand rapidly retracted with a massive fistful of Youmu's freshly shelled seeds! She aggressively began happily discussing the massive competition exactly as if absolutely nothing had happened.
Although she completely, biologically lacked raw physical strength, cardiovascular endurance, sprinting speed, and athletic perseverance... okay, she was practically, biologically useless here. But exactly since the two worlds were completely, culturally different, how could they possibly magically take the exact same academic exams? Modern intelligence was completely useless, and thinking about this, she instantly, tragically wilted like an unwatered crop on the sofa.
"Don't look at competitions so narrowly. It's not just about running or carrying stones. Things like music, chess, calligraphy, painting, handicrafts, and medical alchemy can all be contested. Surely you're good at something."
Seeing his usually arrogant, massive golden retriever completely looking so tragically dejected and pathetic, Leo thought for a brief moment and casually suggested a few classic, refined events specifically to heavily help Yukari Yakumo find exactly some ancient confidence, entirely lest she start maliciously acting up and causing trouble again.
"Music?" Yukari blinked blankly.
"Does plucking tail fur count? Back when Ran was making pillows and quilts, I was in charge of plucking the tail fur."
"Chess?" Leo offered, his eye twitching.
"Does Gomoku count? I gave up on Go a long time ago. You have no idea how harsh the environment in Gensokyo is. Those who don't know it really don't know it—pure brutes. Very few know how to play, and those who do are all legendary masters. Yagokoro Eirin said playing with me was worse than playing with Cirno; at least she couldn't predict where Cirno would move next."
"What about calligraphy?"
Yukari Yakumo's guilty, ancient gaze completely drifted toward the exhausted, expressionless Ran Yakumo quietly standing beside Leo, and she let out an incredibly awkward, embarrassed smile. She hadn't actually, physically touched a traditional ink brush in centuries.
"Painting!"
Leo's blood pressure was visibly, dangerously rising, a vein throbbing on his forehead. He aggressively, violently took out a thick stack of rice paper and a premium ink brush from his inventory and slammed them heavily onto the wooden coffee table!
Yukari Yakumo enthusiastically picked them up and immediately began completely to paint with a massive, dramatic flourish. Her physical posture was incredibly elegant, and her wrist and brush moved violently exactly like soaring dragons and striking snakes, aggressively carrying the terrifying, profound air of an ancient grandmaster. It visually looked quite incredibly, breathtakingly impressive.
"Alright, take a look. I'm quite satisfied with this piece; I've captured the spirit."
Who paints better, me or the great Mo Mo Hei?
Ran Yakumo, entirely knowing exactly what her Lady Yukari was truly like, absolutely didn't even logically budge an inch. She completely continued mechanically cracking melon seeds for Chen, absolutely not even politely bothering to look up. She even gently held Chen back by the collar entirely to strictly prevent the innocent kitten from directly seeing the eye-polluting, horrific artwork!
Absolutely only Leo and the three identical Flandre clones who had tragically lost today's Rakushiru Ritual (Rock-Paper-Scissors) heavily leaned in completely to curiously look at the wet paper.
"What is this?" Leo asked, his face completely blank.
"I know! It's 'Chicks Pecking Rice'! Although the strokes are simple, the artistic conception is expressed. If you look closely, it really is different. Brother, look at this rice all over the ground, and these few tail feathers on the chick's butt. Doesn't it look more like it the more you look?"
Flandre began her highly serious, rambling, aristocratic critique, rubbing her chin exactly like a monocled art appraiser. After all, she was the official Second Miss of the incredibly wealthy Scarlet Devil Mansion! She might absolutely be an entirely bit eccentric normally, but having fully grown up completely in such a massive, classical environment filled with Renaissance paintings, she had definitely, culturally learned exactly just by passively watching.
Puyi once famously said: If I say this thing is fake, then it's fake. I might not know how to technically appraise antiques, but this is different from what I have at home. If it feels wrong to me, then it must be fake.
This was entirely a massive matter of aristocratic perspective—exactly the kind of deep, artistic intuition that absolutely could only be completely cultivated by spending hundreds of years exactly in a massive, ancient place incredibly thick with high artistic atmosphere. Ordinary people completely couldn't even logically manage a proper, coherent critique!
"Hiss... you don't say, you really don't say. It actually does have that vibe. I didn't realize it, Yakumo Yukari, but you're actually an abstract painter."
"This is 'Ten Thousand Birds Facing the Phoenix'..."
Yukari Yakumo's proud face completely, violently darkened into absolute pitch-black rage. Exactly what on earth were these two blind idiots rambling entirely about?! How exactly did her grand, incredibly magnificent, god-tier masterpiece 'Ten Thousand Birds Facing the Phoenix' completely become exactly so incredibly pathetic and poultry-like in their uncultured mouths?!
Slap!
Leo aggressively, heavily slapped his own forehead in absolute disbelief. He had completely, actually temporarily believed Flandre's confident, aristocratic nonsense! If this chaotic, unlucky vampire kid ever took a modern English exam, she'd definitely, flawlessly get a massive perfect score exactly in reading comprehension. After she spoke with such authority, Leo almost entirely believed it exactly himself!
The admiring, critical look Flandre completely had for the messy painting instantly, violently turned into one strictly reserved exactly for a disgusting piece of used toilet paper exactly upon hearing Yukari Yakumo's actual title. She entirely almost spat directly on it in disgust! To absolutely have the thick-skinned face to proudly bring out such pathetic, scribbled trash—she could completely, literally paint entirely better exactly with her bare feet!
"I see it now. You're just like the Seventh Brother from the Calabash Brothers; without Ran, you're absolutely nothing."
Leo was entirely, completely speechless. Exactly just how incredibly, terrifyingly simple-minded and naive were the violent youkai of ancient times exactly that they completely let this lazy, pathetic woman earn the legendary title of 'Sage of Youkai'?!
He completely now logically had massive reason to entirely suspect exactly that the massive, bloody Lunar War started entirely just because Yukari Yakumo lazily said there was good, tasty food exactly on the moon, and then a massive, swarming bunch of completely single-celled, idiot youkai just blindly followed her exactly in a massive swarm!
"So what! I'm retired, can't I just slack off? No thoughts, no worries. I think being like this is quite nice."
Yukari Yakumo violently, angrily threw the expensive wet brush entirely aside, completely given up, and lay directly entirely on the sleeping Yuyuko's soft stomach exactly like a weighted blanket. A dark, swirling Gap silently opened right beside her head, and she lazily grabbed entirely another massive handful of peeled melon seed kernels to happily eat.
She had completely, absolutely given up on her dignity.
"Ran~~"
Completely, entirely ignoring Yukari Yakumo, who had tragically regressed completely to Cirno's intellectual level, Leo turned to deeply look at his dear, hardworking Ran-chan exactly with an incredibly flattering, sycophantic smile.
Though he completely, arrogantly stood exactly on the moral high ground exactly when criticizing Yukari Yakumo's art, he absolutely wasn't completely much better. As for classical music, absolutely all he knew was the cheap plastic melodica completely from elementary school music class, and he could absolutely only violently play '123, 321, 13212'.
The absolute rest were entirely, equally bad. His Gomoku skills were completely, painfully average, his handwriting was entirely so incredibly poor he completely couldn't physically recognize it himself the next day, and exactly as for painting... just logically look at that pathetic, scribbled previous treasure map he drew!
"I understand. I will go speak with President Rudolf in detail tomorrow."
Ran Yakumo heavily, exhaustingly sighed, her fox ears drooping, and aggressively slapped completely away the greedy hand reaching entirely out from the Gap for more seeds! This entire, massive, chaotic family... would completely, violently fall entirely apart exactly without her!
"I knew Ran was the best!"
Leo completely imitated Yukari Yakumo's shamelessness and happily lay directly on Ran's soft, fur-covered lap, gently placing Chen—who had entirely turned back into a fluffy black cat—completely on his stomach. Exactly as he happily ate the sweet melon seed kernels Ran gently fed him, he aggressively shot an incredibly triumphant, mocking look entirely at the fuming Yukari Yakumo completely on the opposite sofa!
The warm, bright, golden artificial light from the freezing, air-conditioned living room window brilliantly illuminated a small, dusty patch of ground exactly outside the wooden cottage.
Exactly in the suffocating, humid darkness outside, Aya Shameimaru completely sat miserably in a massive oak tree, her red maple leaf-shaped fan constantly, frantically fluttering to cool her sweating face. The completely sweltering, tropical summer weather made her aggressively, seriously consider completely finding a proper, built house exactly to permanently settle down entirely in—that humming, freezing air conditioner machine inside the glass was completely just too incredibly, painfully useful! But Leo completely said he absolutely wouldn't install one for her exactly without a permanent, legal residence, exactly as he completely couldn't safely connect the heavy electrical cables to a bird's nest.
The violent rustling of thick leaves sounded exactly as Aya Shameimaru aggressively flew high entirely into the dark, humid air. The small hermit completely hides exactly in the wild, the medium hermit entirely in the city, and the great hermit exactly in the court.
The isolated wooden cottage exactly in the Southern Forest was entirely secluded, but it completely became entirely too incredibly conspicuous exactly once the massive, roaring air conditioner compressor was violently installed outside. It was completely, painfully obvious exactly that someone wealthy lived exactly there. She completely, strategically needed entirely to find a massive, crowded place exactly where a loud air conditioner completely wouldn't stand entirely out!