The Hunter's Guild of Kitango looked like a tavern that had given up on its dreams. It was a sagging building made of dark oak and stone, smelling of spilled ale, unwashed leather, and the metallic tang of mana-exhaust.
Augustos dragged his feet across the threshold, still leaning on the rusted slab of metal. Behind him, Jella was hovering like a nervous bird.
"You're actually going in there?" she hissed, tugging at his ragged sleeve. "You just deleted a Mana-Rat from existence. If the Guild Master finds out you're a Rank -F with a weapon that cheats reality, they won't give you a license. They'll put you in a cage and study you like a lab rat!"
Augustos didn't stop. His stomach gave a wet, pathetic gurgle that sounded suspiciously like a sob.
If I don't get a Hunter's ID, I can't buy the 'Discount Adventurer's Meal' at the cafeteria, Augustos thought. And that meal includes a side of fermented cabbage. I'd kill for fermented cabbage right now.
"I need the ID, Jella," Augustos said, his voice flat. "No ID, no soup. No soup, no Augustos."
[NOTICE: HOST VITALITY AT 1.5%.]
[ADVICE: EAT SOMETHING. EVEN THE DUST ON THE FLOOR HAS MORE NUTRIENTS THAN YOUR CURRENT BLOODSTREAM.]
Thanks, Primus. Very encouraging.
The interior of the Guild was crowded with "E-Rank" and "D-Rank" mercenaries—men and women covered in scars and cheap iron armor. When Augustos walked in, the room didn't go silent. It was worse. They glanced at him, saw his skeletal frame and his "junk metal" walking stick, and went right back to their drinks.
He was invisible. The ultimate "Rank -F" experience.
He reached the front desk, where a bored-looking clerk with a monocle was filling out forms.
"Name?" the clerk asked without looking up.
"Augustos Pendragon."
The clerk's quill paused. He looked up, adjusted his monocle, and let out a dry snort. "Pendragon? The fallen house? I thought you lot had all starved to death in your shacks. What do you want, boy? A handout?"
"I want to register as a Hunter," Augustos said. He placed the rusted slab on the counter.
The wood under the slab didn't just creak—it groaned as if it were being crushed by an invisible mountain. The clerk didn't notice. He just looked at the hunk of rust with pure disgust.
"A doorstop? You want to hunt monsters with a doorstop?" The clerk pointed to a large, pulsing crystal sitting on a pedestal to the side. "Fine. Put your hand on the Testing Crystal. It measures your Mana Capacity and Soul Tier. If you're higher than a zero, you're in."
Augustos walked over to the crystal. It was a beautiful, clear gem the size of a watermelon, glowing with a soft, blue light.
Alright, let's get this over with, Augustos thought. Just give me a Rank -F ID so I can go find that soup.
As he reached out, he felt the rusted metal in his other hand twitch. The "doorstop" wasn't happy. It felt like a hungry dog looking at a chew toy.
"Don't do anything weird," Augustos whispered to the sword.
He touched the crystal.
For three seconds, nothing happened. Then, the blue light inside the crystal turned a murky, oily black. The air in the room suddenly felt heavy, like everyone was standing at the bottom of the ocean.
[SYSTEM ALERT!]
[INCOMPATIBLE DATA DETECTED.]
[CRYSTAL IS ATTEMPTING TO MEASURE 'NON-EXISTENCE'.]
[CALCULATION OVERFLOW...]
Uh oh, Augustos thought.
PING.
A tiny crack appeared in the center of the crystal. Then another. And another. Within seconds, thewatermelon-sized gem shattered into a million pieces of fine, sparkling dust. A shockwave rippled through the room, knocking over chairs and blowing the monocle right off the clerk's face.
The Guild went dead silent.
The clerk stared at the empty pedestal, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. "That... that crystal cost four thousand Mana Hearts. It's indestructible for anyone below S-Rank."
He looked at Augustos. Then he looked at the "System Screen" hovering over the dust.
[RESULTS: RANK -F]
[STATUS: DEFECTIVE / ERROR / ABYSSAL TRASH]
[REASON: SUBJECT HAS ZERO MANA. CRYSTAL DIED OF BOREDOM.]
The clerk blinked. "Zero? It broke because... because you're so weak the system couldn't even find a heartbeat? You're a 'Defective'?"
Augustos sighed. Died of boredom? My own system is roasting me now. "So... do I get the ID?" Augustos asked.
The clerk scrambled to grab a copper plate. He scribbled something on it and threw it at Augustos as if the boy were contagious. "Take it! Rank -F (Defective). Just get away from the counter before you break the floor!"
Augustos took the copper ID and headed straight for the Guild's canteen. He didn't care about the stares or the whispers of "The Void-Boy" or "The Living Corpse."
He sat down at a heavy wooden table in the corner. He leaned the rusted slab against the bench next to him.
"One bowl of the 'Bottom-Feeder Stew,'" Augustos told the waitress. "The one that's mostly water and salt.
"Coming up, kid," she said, looking at him with pity.
As he waited, the doors of the Guild swung open with a bang. A woman stepped in, and the entire atmosphere changed. She was wearing polished silver plate armor with gold filigree. Her hair was a sharp, disciplined blonde bob, and her eyes were the color of cold steel.
"That's Mavis," Jella whispered, having snuck back into the room to sit across from Augustos. "The 'Silver Valkyrie.' She's a High Knight of the Empire. She's Rank-A. Why is she in a dump like Kitango?"
Mavis scanned the room. Her eyes lingered on the broken crystal dust, then moved to the boy in the corner. She walked over with a rhythmic clank-clank-clank of her greaves.
"You," Mavis said, standing over Augustos.
Augustos didn't look up. His soup had just arrived. It looked like grey dishwater with a single lonely carrot floating in it. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Yes?" Augustos asked, blowing on a spoonful of the grey liquid.
"I am Mavis of the Third Imperial Circle," she said, her voice like a command. "I felt a massive mana-void coming from this table. And you... you're the boy who broke the Testing Crystal."
"It was an accident," Augustos said, sipping the soup. Needs more salt.
Mavis's eyes dropped to the rusted slab leaning against the bench. She frowned. "Is this your... weapon? It's an eyesore. It's cluttering the walkway."
"It's a doorstop," Augustos said. "And it's busy."
Mavis let out a huff of annoyance. "Don't be flippant with me, boy. I need to sit and conduct an interview with the Guild Master. Move your 'junk' so I can use this bench."
"I wouldn't touch that if I were you," Augustos warned, his mouth full of soggy carrot.
Seriously, Mavis. Don't. Emre hasn't had dessert yet.
Mavis reached out a gauntleted hand. "I am a Rank-A Knight. I have handled legendary blades and dragon-bone spears. I think I can handle a piece of scrap—"
The moment her fingers brushed the scabbard—the rotting leather wrap—Mavis's expression didn't change. She didn't scream.
Her eyes simply glazed over. All the color drained from her face. It was as if someone had pulled the plug on her soul. Her knees buckled, and she did a slow, majestic face-plant directly into the floorboards.
THUD.
Her silver helmet bounced once. She lay there, perfectly still, her Rank-A mana aura vanishing like a candle in a hurricane.
Augustos didn't even stop eating. He just sighed and shifted his legs so he wouldn't trip over her unconscious body.
"I told her," he muttered to Jella, who was currently trying to crawl under the table in terror.
[INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: MAVIS HAS ENTERED 'EXISTENTIAL REBOOT' MODE.]
[EMRE'S COMMENT: SHE TASTED LIKE LEMONS AND ARROGANCE. DISGUSTING. I PREFER THE RAT.]
Augustos looked at the copper ID on the table. He was officially a Hunter. He had a comatose High Knight at his feet. And he still had half a bowl of soup left.
"Life is looking up," he said.
But then, the system screen turned a violent, bleeding red.
[CRITICAL ALERT!]
[SENSORS DETECT A 'WORLD-ERASURE' EVENT TRIGGERED BY THE WEAPON'S PRESENCE.]
[THE ARCHITECTS ARE RECOGNIZING THE GLITCH.]
[ESTIMATED TIME UNTIL THE FIRST 'CLEAN-UP CREW' ARRIVES: 60 SECONDS.]
Augustos stopped mid-sip. He looked at the door. Through the window, the purple sky was starting to crack like glass, revealing a blinding, sterile white light behind the clouds.
"Can't a guy just finish his soup?" Augustos whispered.