Today… there aren't many people around.
Is it because of the rainy season?
They say the sea isn't beautiful at this time of year.
I don't understand how to tell if the sea is beautiful or not. To me, the sea looks the same every day.
As for the sky… it never looks the same.
Yet still… it remains as enchanting as ever, every single day.
…
The sky has begun to turn a deep red. The sun is about to set. I lift the camera hanging around my neck and take another picture. I've lost count of how many photos I've taken today.
I probably won't be coming back here for a long time.
So I'll keep these pictures as memories.
A soft breeze blows in from the sea. I don't know where it carried this feeling of loneliness from, but it leaves me feeling so empty. I gaze toward the horizon, as far as my eyes can see.
The sight before me raises a question—one I've never been able to answer:
Are we looking at the same sky right now?
If not… then that's okay too.
…
Back then, I must have been just ten years old.
In that old storage room, once used by fishermen who had long abandoned it, there was no place more fitting to be our 'secret base'. We brought things from home to decorate it, making it truly ours, and swore never to tell anyone.
I sat down, leaning against the wall, and looked up at the darkened sky. The rain poured down relentlessly, soaking me. All I could do was curl up to keep warm.
I clenched my lips, trying to hold back my sobs—but it didn't last long. Eventually, I let myself cry again, burying my face in my arms as the tears fell.
This was the only place I wanted to be when I felt I had nowhere else to go.
Because… I didn't want to go home.
!!!
I flinched at the sound of thunder.
No…No thunder, please.
I thought I heard a door opening and quickly looked up.
A boy, around my age, stood there. Slightly taller than me, with fair skin. Even though he held an umbrella, he was drenched, as if he had run here. His expression was anxious, his posture restless.
He was the only person I hoped would find me.
And somehow… he always did.
"It's dangerous, you know? Coming here this late, especially with the rain pouring like this," he said.
I immediately got up and ran into his arms.
"Are you scared of the thunder?" he asked.
I nodded.
"It's okay now. I'm here."
He held me close and gently patted my head.
P'Tonfah was one of the few who truly understood what I feared.
And one thing I feared most… was thunder.
Even though I wasn't afraid of dust or dirt, thunder terrified me.
"Phoon."
"Yes?" I answered.
"Why did you come here?"
"…"
"Don't you want to go home?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I'm scared."
"Are you scared of your mom?"
"Yes… Mom is scary."
"What do you mean?"
"She… turns into a giant," I murmured, my voice muffled against his embrace.
P'Tonfah slowly let go. I kept my head down, unable to meet his eyes.
"Mom is scary."
"Phoon."
"…"
"Look at me."
I lifted my head. The same kind smile was on his face, just like always.
"It's okay. I'll go back with you."
"You were going home anyway, weren't you?"
"No. I mean, I'll go home with you."
"…"
"Is that okay?"
"But…"
"Let's go home, Phoon."
"No… Mom will hit me. It hurts."
I bit my lip. The memories were terrifying. I didn't want to be hit again. The pain lingered in my mind, clearer than anything else.
"I was a bad kid today. Mom didn't like that."
"What do you mean by 'bad kid'?"
"I failed my test."
"So failing a test makes you a bad kid?"
"Yes."
"Then I must be a bad kid too."
"Why? Did you fail your test, too?"
"No," P'Tonfah chuckled and shook his head. "But today, I snuck out of the house just like you did."
…
That was true. His parents had forbidden him to leave the house when it was raining.
But he still came… just to find me.
"P'Tonfah, you should go back home. You'll get in trouble. It'll hurt."
I tried to push him toward the door. No, I couldn't let him get punished like me. I knew how much it hurt.
But he grabbed my hand before I could push him away.
"You're not coming with me?"
"I don't want to be hit."
"Then I'll get hit with you."
"No!" I insisted.
"I'm worried about you," he said, his voice more serious than before. "And if you don't come home, Torfun will refuse to eat dinner too."
"Torfun is worried about me?"
"Yes."
"Will Torfun cry?"
"Yes."
"I don't want Torfun to cry."
"Then come home with me, okay?"
"…Okay."
"Good."
I reached out and took his hand, stepping under the umbrella.
Slowly, we walked home together.
I stole a glance at P'Tonfah as we walked.
It's okay.
As long as he's with me… everything will be okay.
And after that… what happened?
I walked to the edge of the place, finding the ruins of somewhere I once knew. Our secret hideout… was gone. Phi wouldn't know, right? I heard it would be rebuilt into a new warehouse soon. There would be no traces left of our memories.
I lifted my camera and took a picture of the ruins. Why was I even taking this photo? I didn't know…
Ah, right. That day, after I went home, Fun burst into tears. She hugged me immediately, asking where I had been and if I was hurt.
Torfun was my older sister, only a year older than me. The same age as Phi Fah, but I preferred to call her Fun only instead of Phi.
That time, I wasn't hurt. I just cried so I wouldn't be hit again.
But Mom didn't ask if I was hurt.
Mom only asked… "What was your score?"
Why did Mom love Fun more than me?
I used to ask myself that question before. But now, I don't anymore. Because I know that the answer is too painful.
The wind didn't bring loneliness. I had always been lonely.
Torfun liked—no, Torfun loved Phi Fah. I could tell just by watching them.
Because I… had fallen in love long ago, too.
My parents respected Tonfah's family because they were kind. Our houses were next to each other, so the three of us always played together.
I, as a child, always watched them—Torfun and Tonfah. They were my whole world.
They were smart, good at studying, good at everything. Unlike me, who always failed in my parents' eyes.
'Why can't you be like Tonfah? Why can't you get good grades like Torfun? Why is your grade so low? Why don't you study? Why do you always do useless things? Why did you fail again? Why, why, why…'
Yeah… why?
Why don't you hug me too…?
Phi Fah eventually left for high school, too far for me to see him again.
I watched them say their goodbyes. They had the same dream—to become doctors.
I stood there, watching them leave. They had a dream to chase, but I had nothing to offer. Nothing but sadness and disappointment…
"Phoon." I turned at the voice calling me.
"Take care of yourself, okay?"
"Yeah."
His hand ruffled my hair gently, sensing I was about to cry.
Would we meet again?
"Of course."
…
Suddenly, my phone rang, pulling me from my thoughts.
I answered quietly.
"I'm leaving to see Phi Fah now."