"Ram, why are you looking at me like that?"
Lying on the bed, Roswaal watched Ram beside him, keenly sensing the unusual emotion in her gaze.
"No, it's nothing, Roswaal-sama," Ram replied with her usual calm expression. "Please allow me to take my leave."
"Mm."
Why was it?
Ram walked out of the room, casting a deep look at Roswaal before closing the door behind her.
Stepping outside, she raised her head toward the sky and slowly closed her eyes.
"Ram, come here."
After those words came the image of her head separating from her body and flying into the air. That scene—and those words—were engraved clearly in her memory.
{—That boy possesses the power to change the world, to shape it according to his wishes.}
Roswaal had once said this to her in the mansion. At the time, Ram had not understood. But now she did.
And yet—
"Why do I still remember?" Ram murmured softly.
Judging from Roswaal's behavior, she knew he had completely forgotten that incident. But why was she the only one who retained the memory?
"Sister."
A weak voice sounded from nearby. Ram opened her eyes and turned toward it. A girl in a wheelchair was slowly pushing herself forward.
"Ah… Rem."
"Sister, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong…?" Ram noticed that Rem's gaze was not on her face, but on the top of her head.
"Sister… your horn has appeared. It's even glowing with a golden light."
"Huh? Really?"
Only then did Ram realize that the horn on her head had manifested. She suppressed it again, but a thought lingered in her mind—was this… because of that? Was that the reason she had not forgotten?
"Sister, you seem restless. Did something happen?" Rem looked at her with concern. Although no solution had been found for her legs during this trip to the Sanctuary, simply being able to come out and clear her mind already made her content.
"No, it's nothing," Ram replied. After a moment's hesitation, she asked, "Rem, do you still remember Lillian?"
"…How could I forget? He saved us."
"The golden mana he sent into my body still remains in large amounts," Ram said. "It seems to have mixed with my own magical power. I don't understand how, but it's very strange."
"Don't think too much about it, Sister. Your horn growing back is a good thing, after all."
"Yes… that's true."
Ram nodded, yet she continued thinking inwardly:
So this must be the reason Natsuki Subaru can change the world—he can reverse time, turning it back to an earlier point. If that's the case, after Roswaal killed me before, time must have reversed sometime afterward.
He killed me so easily because he knew Natsuki Subaru would redo everything, didn't he? And yet he has lost his memories, while I alone retain mine… how ironic.
---
Echidna's proposal was indeed feasible. Because contracts in this world are judged and enforced by the world's neutral and impartial binding force, once the two of them agreed, the terms would certainly be upheld.
To be more precise, however, it mainly fulfilled Echidna's desires.
Even without forming this contract, Echidna could not secretly spy on Lillian's memories. Even if Lillian himself failed to notice, she could not deceive the consciousness of the goddess. Thus, the contract primarily served to restrict Lillian—to compel him to fully open his mind during the trial.
Perhaps because of what happened during the first trial, Echidna was extremely curious about the memories protected within Lillian. Though she could not personally view them now, she remained deeply concerned about what he had once said:
"If you could use my later memories as the basis of the trial, I might fail. Because… in those memories, there are things I cannot let go of, things even more difficult for me to face than this."
In Lillian's view, her demand for a contract was essentially her way of reclaiming her dignity after being threatened—an intentional counterpressure against him.
If the liberation of the Sanctuary also benefited her, she should not have interfered with the trial at all. Without access to Lillian's protected memories, only his memories from Earth could be used. No matter how those were manipulated, they would never cause him significant emotional upheaval.
And yet now, she insisted on forming a contract.
"Alright, I can sign this contract with you."
Receiving Lillian's affirmative reply, Echidna's lips curved into a satisfied smile.
"Then let's proceed."
With a gentle wave of her hand, a sheet of parchment appeared before Lillian. On it, the contract had already been drafted.
Echidna: Will not observe Lillian's participation in the Sanctuary's second trial in any form.
Lillian: Will fully open his memories and participate wholeheartedly in the Sanctuary's second trial.
"How do I sign this?" Lillian asked.
"Feel it with your soul."
"…"
Lillian focused his mind, and immediately he felt an indescribable perception flow from his consciousness, swimming like a small fish until it reached the parchment.
At that moment, his spirit jolted. Some force of the world seemed to silently ask if he wished to leave his soul's imprint. Lillian chose yes. His name on the parchment glowed briefly—and Echidna's name did too.
"Contract sealed."
As Echidna spoke, the parchment spontaneously combusted, burning to ash before them. All that remained were their eyes meeting.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Shall we have a cup of tea before we begin?"
"No need."
"Very well," Echidna said. "The second trial will be harder than the first. Good luck."
"Thank you."
"Let's begin."
A faint light shimmered in Echidna's eyes, and her voice sounded to Lillian like a dreamlike whisper.
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
Just as in the first trial, his consciousness was enveloped and submerged into a deep ocean—dark, dense, profound, infinite, with only slivers of light in the cracks.
What is this…?
Light spread before him. He saw himself holding a dagger, trembling slightly.
On the bed ahead, a boy held a pistol, aimed at him, shouting, "Die, demon!!"
This is…
Lillian saw himself leap forward with the dagger. The boy pulled the trigger—but the safety was still on, and no bullet fired.
He tackled the boy onto the bed, raising the dagger—but seeing the boy's innocent face, he hesitated for just a second.
That single moment of hesitation allowed the boy to punch him in the face. Lillian's body recoiled. The boy disabled the safety and fired several shots at him.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Dead.
Lillian watched it all unfold as if from a third-person perspective: he could see, but not speak or act.
The scene shifted. The resurrected boy—Lillian—appeared in the plaza, immediately captured, and then killed. He truly died.
I see now. I see now.
The third-person Lillian understood: "Behold the futures that do not exist" means observing outcomes that diverge drastically due to small deviations.
Since they do not exist, all of this is false.
---
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
A soft whisper sounded in his ears. He saw himself as a child, moving with a ragged group across the plains—when suddenly, they encountered a titan.
"Titan!! Run!!"
People scattered. Lillian ran with them, his face filled with sheer terror—a detail only visible from this third-person perspective.
A young man ran toward him, his eyes sharp with intent. Lillian did not notice, tripped over him, and the young man seized his backpack and pistol, leaving him to be grabbed and swallowed by the titan.
Third-person Lillian stared in shock. That young man was… Klaus—the same one from the underground streets of the royal capital whom he had considered trustworthy.
Had he really intended that at the time?
Lillian recalled the event. Indeed, it had happened—but in reality, he had noticed Klaus's foot reaching out, and then Klaus fell. Lillian had helped him up… so back then, he had been pretending.
Had he corrected his actions afterward—or had he been acting all along? If the latter, what would the AOT World look like now?
Wait—that's a future that doesn't exist. I shouldn't even be speculating on this. What am I thinking?
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
Hold on—this is moving too fast.
Here's a careful English translation of Chapter 381:
---
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Home > Fanfiction > I Achieve Eternity Within Memory
Chapter 381 — I Achieve Eternity Within Memory
Author: Tu'ergai Ci (Rabbit-Ear Porcelain)
---
"Awooo—!"
On the snowy mountain, a wild wolf lunged at Hysteria, who had tripped over a rock, catching Lillian and Ymir completely off guard.
"Christa!"
Ymir roared in fury. Lillian rushed forward to help, but he was a second too late—the wolf's sharp teeth sank into the girl's pale neck.
"Ah!"
Enraged, Ymir slashed her own hand and transformed into the Jaw Titan, her mouth lined with massive teeth, then lunged forward and tore the wolf in two. Lillian froze, unable to process the sight of Christa soaked in blood.
"Grrr!!"
Ymir, consumed by fury, lost all sense of control. After shredding the wolf, she swiped at Lillian. Her sharp claws pierced his chest, destroying his heart.
Lillian fell to the ground silently. Suddenly, Ymir regained her senses and reverted to human form. Tears streamed down her face as she looked at the bodies of both of them, then she turned abruptly and ran, jumping off the cliff.
Half an hour later, Lillian's corpse vanished. Another half-hour later, he came running, gasping. He looked at the footprints by the cliff, lingered for a moment beside Christa's body, then picked up the bloodied blade stained with Ymir's blood and plunged it into his own heart.
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
Too fast, right?! Wait a second!
Lillian now wore a pristine Military Police uniform and led a squad of new recruits up to a door. Opening it was a little girl with dry, curled hair and a pale face, looking timidly at them.
"Karen…"
The instant he saw her, his heart ached violently. From this third-person perspective, he noticed something he had missed before: the corner of the desk hid a dagger.
Then came the fight against the mountain bandits. He was shot in the head from behind by his teammate, Beck.
The scenes shifted faster and faster.
After Lillian was killed, the Military Police tracked Karen's house using the report. They killed her with a bayonet. On the desk inside, paper and pen were laid out, with the words scrawled crookedly: "Captain Lillian."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
Annie…
"Die."
Freed from restraint, Annie bit her hand without hesitation and transformed into the Female Titan.
"Didn't you hear what I said just now?!" Lillian shouted, thrown against a wall by the scalding steam. "Do you really want that hopeless future?!"
You're lying to me.
Boom!!
A single kick struck Lillian, reducing him to a puddle of flesh. Then he watched Annie stand there for several seconds before running off.
She easily escaped Stohess District, but due to exhaustion from being trapped by Lillian for a day, she was caught by the Survey Corps, who had responded quickly. The rampaging Eren swallowed her.
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."
"—Behold the futures that do not exist."