"Since you're not keeping secrets…" I said, but Cisco didn't make eye contact. We had just reached the cover of the forest. "Why are you here, Cisco?"
Finally Cisco met my eyes. There was an odd lack of emotion there, but I sensed that there was a strong current of emotion just under the surface. "I'm here for you."
"Why?" I asked. I couldn't piece out why he would come all that way just to see me.
"Because you'll be queen one day," he said so simply that it caused every thought in my brain to sputter and slow to a full stop. Cisco didn't even allow me enough time to reply. "And my father is ending our alliance with Calidonica."
A fist clenched my stomach as the words flew out of my mouth. "Baruuk will kill you."
Cisco's expression softened. "Your concern is sweet, but I'll be gone before he realizes… unless you tattle on me."
My brain was slowly churning back to life. "Why risk telling me?"
Cisco looked at me grimly. "You're a reasonable person, and Baruuk is not." We walked on in silence for a while as I processed all of this. "I came to tell you that you will have Espazota's full support when you take the throne."
"I…" I for some reason desperately didn't want to let Cisco down, but I had to be honest. "I don't want the throne."
Cisco's brow furrowed. He looked as if he couldn't comprehend why someone wouldn't want to have unlimited power over hundreds of thousands of people. "Why don't you want the throne? It hasn't occurred to you that you're the closest thing Baruuk has to an heir? He raised you as his daughter."
"I am no one's daughter," I said too quickly not to raise suspicion that my life was not what I would choose for myself.
"You hate him," he said, as if this had only occurred to him then. Then he said, "I always suspected, but I never had proof. You play the part of the dutiful daughter well." I didn't say anything more to him, knowing I had already revealed too much. "If you hate him, why not kill him and take the throne for yourself?"
I had already confessed far too much. Baruuk had warned me not to reveal my weaknesses to Cisco. But I would never see Cisco again, and out of the two of us, he was more at my mercy than I was at his. I could easily run to Baruuk and tell him Darius was ending the alliance. Baruuk would surely take Cisco's head as a trophy. It was as safe a scenario as any to confess the truth… and it would feel so good to get it off my chest.
"He has safeties in place to ensure I don't overthrow him," I confessed.
Cisco tensed. "What does he have on you?"
We arrived at the lake as the sun dipped below the tree line. The sky was ablaze, the sun casting pink, purple and deep blue on the clouds. "Someone important to me."
Cisco stared at me for a long time. I knew that look. He lusted for blood.
"He's blackmailing you?" All I could do was nod. I couldn't even meet his eyes. It turned out revealing your greatest weakness even to your closest friend was painful. "Who?"
I took a moment to dismount from Buzzard and hide behind him as I gathered my courage. "I can't risk losing her," was all I said before stepping back into Cisco's field of vision. Tears threatened, but I contained them. "I have to wait until he dies of natural causes."
Cisco was standing close to Buzzard, his hand steady on my horse's withers. Buzzard's tail swatted at a fly buzzing around him, but otherwise, he was completely still. Cisco gently took my hand in his, and my traitorous heart let him. His hands were large, strong and warm. His hands were calloused in the same places mine were from years of handling weapons.
"Lura, look at me," he said.
It was phrased as a command, but sounded more like a plea. When I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye, his other hand left Buzzard and nudged my chin toward him. When I finally looked from his chest to his eyes, his face was closer than I anticipated. His nose was mere inches from mine, a feat he achieved my hunching so we were at eye level with each other.
"I can help you, Lura." When I said nothing, he pleaded, "Please. Let me help you."
My hand tightened around his thumb. "Did you bring an army with you?" A part of me hoped, but I knew the answer as soon as I asked. I saw it in his eyes.
Cisco looked down at our intertwined hands. "No."
I managed a smile, but I was sure it did nothing to reassure Cisco that I was anywhere near okay. "If you came with more than a half-cocked plan of escape I may have considered it." Fresh tears sprung to my eyes. Any hope I'd allowed myself to feel was dashed to pieces as I reminded him and myself, "And once you break the alliance, you'll be gone for good. I'll never see you again. There's nothing you or I can do."
Cisco stared into my eyes, trying to communicate something I couldn't discern. Cisco threaded his fingers through mine and nodded toward the trail along the lake's edge. "Come on."
I allowed him to lead me through the trees. I had never held Cisco's hand before — at least not since we were kids. It should have felt awkward, but it felt as natural as breathing.
We slowly ascended the steep slope upward, using tree trunks, branches, and each other for stability. When we arrived at the first ledge leading up the cliff, we followed the same routine we always did. I stepped into Cisco's interlaced hands and he lifted me high enough to hoist myself up onto the ledge. From above, I used my mind to lift him over the ledge.
Cisco was one of the only people who wasn't afraid of my powers. Probably because he was one of the few who had witnessed them, but was never hurt by them.
We repeated until we reached the highest of the ledges. Normally I jumped on his back as I carried his body up the face of the cliff with my mind, but that time he scooped me up into his arms. I must have been out of my mind, because I never let anyone handle me this way.
As I carried us through the air, the wind rustled our hair. Cisco looked down at me with his soft brown eyes and long, dark lashes, and I suddenly felt like burying my face in his chest.
I fully understood what that look meant, and while it scared me before, it didn't seem nearly as scary while he cradled me in his arms. It felt like nothing could be more right than us. Baruuk was right. I had allowed Cisco to get too close, but it seemed he had allowed me to get too close as well. And just as we came to this mutual understanding — because I could see he saw the truth of what I felt in my eyes — we would be forced to say goodbye.
At the top of the cliff, once I had set Cisco's feet firmly on the stone ledge, Cisco still didn't put me down, and I didn't free myself from him. There was a loaded silence, where so many unsaid things remained unsaid, but I felt them.
Eventually Cisco set me down, and the lack of connection between us was painful. I'd never held Cisco's hand before that day. He never held me like this. We didn't even hug.
So why did separating from him feel like a small death? I felt every stage of grief as he sat at the cliff's edge, his feet dangling high above the lake. I sat beside him, sitting close enough to feel the warmth of his body, but far enough that my body ached to be nearer.
"I'm going to tell you something that you are never going to believe," he said as he looked out over the lake, the colors of the sunset reflected in the water. His serious expression shattered as he smiled and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "You are the most powerful person I know," he whispered. The breeze was as loud as the words he whispered. "More powerful than me, my father, Sharlot, and Baruuk combined. Why is there any doubt in your mind that you can free yourself and your…"
"Sister," I said, answering his unspoken question.
"Your sister," he said, his voice light. I searched for a hint of malice in his tone or demeanor, but I couldn't detect any.
I still withheld the truth of my sister's life. She worked as a seamstress -- she was the very person who designed Baruuk's and my clothes. And she did it all while almost never seeing the light of day. To reveal that I had let her live in such a state was an embarrassment I refused to suffer, even in front of Cisco.
"You're afraid of Baruuk," he said. I nodded, the admission painful but necessary. The knot in my stomach loosened. "Can you see how you've let your fear paralyze you?"
I quickly looked away, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. He was right. I had let my fear paralyze me. How had he unearthed the crux of the problem before I had? I was paralyzed by fear.
I was familiar with every facet of fear. I had seen every reaction to it a person can have. The very thought of Baruuk caused my pulse to race, but I hadn't realized how strong fear's hold on me was. My fear had blinded me to what I was truly capable of.
"If you had your choice, what would you do with your life?"
My answer was immediate. "Anything other than this."
"There's got to be something. You've never dreamed of a life other than this one?"
"I can't afford to dream," I said, my voice cold and lifeless, the way Baruuk had made it sound. "It just makes things worse."
"How does dreaming make things worse?"
My hands clenched in my lap, my palms damp. Confessing my deepest, darkest secrets was causing my body to overheat. "When I dream, I get angry. When I get angry, I lash out. And when I lash out, Hetty gets hurt."
When all Cisco did was stare at me with a look of anguish I'd only seen on him once before, I told him, "The only reason I told you is because I'll never see you again."
Cisco looked offended. "You really think I could walk away from you now, knowing Baruuk is holding you and your sister here as hostages?"
"Baruuk will kill you if you try to help—"
Cisco laughed. "I'd like to see that old man try."
"Baruuk has a whole army on his side. You can't stand against an army."
Cisco looked at me pointedly. "But you can. Something tells me you would defend me if my life was in danger."
I glared at him. "What gave you that idea?"
Cisco glared right back. "The last time we fought Sharlot, her soldiers managed to slice off my armor and stab me. I thought I was done for. As the stars called to me, you came out of nowhere and healed my wounds."
I knew this story well. At the time, Cisco hadn't been in a joking mood, but I was glad to see he'd shaken it off since then.
"You hovered over me, like the Goddess of Death, your white hair a halo around your head, and yanked that sword from my side. Do you remember what you said to me?"
I grinned as I watched the events unfold in my mind. "'You're not allowed to die— not unless it's by my hand.'"
"I didn't realize you used your life force to revitalize mine until you collapsed beside me. I thought you had died, until Sanna explained and ordered me to carry you back to camp." He looked out across the water. "You forfeited the battle so you could save my life."
"What is the point of you recounting this story?"
"To remind you of what you're capable of."
Cisco stood then, and offered me his hand to help me up. "I'm not a coward," I said.
"I never said you were," he answered. I let Cisco help me stand.
"We should get back. We're late for dinner." The lightest shade of the sky was a deep blue. Dinner was served just after sundown. Baruuk would wonder what we had been up to. Were my feelings for Cisco written all over my face? I was going to be in so much trouble. "It's going to take us half an hour to get back."
Cisco's hands settled on my head and I tensed, suddenly realizing just how much trouble I'd be in if Baruuk knew just how much I'd disobeyed his orders regarding Cisco. His breath tickled my lips. I found myself staring at his, not for the first time wondering what it would be like to kiss him.
"Don't stress," he said, his voice as cool and calm as the lake below. "There's a quick way to get down to the lake."
Without warning, his arm drew me to him, and he held me with such strength it startled me and took my breath away. Still, I didn't use my powers against him. He took a single step backward, and with my body held firmly against his, we plummeted toward the lake below.
I screamed as we fell. We hit the water feet first and plunged beneath the surface. When I opened my eyes, everything was dark, but Cisco still held onto me with one arm looped around my waist. He began to kick, so I did too, and we made it to the surface in no time.
"What was that for?" I yelled, shoving him off of me.
"You looked like you could use a shock," he said, his grin lopsided in the moonlight. "Consider it a parting gift."
I swam over to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. "You're obnoxious," I said, and shoved him underwater. Cisco thrashed in the water, but I only held him under for a few seconds even though I dreamed of holding him under there forever. Then at least I would have something to show for our lengthy absence. "Look, Baruuk! I killed him before he became a threat."
He bobbed up to the surface and immediately wound his arm around my neck and ruffled my hair. We fought all the way to the shore about what we would tell Baruuk when he heard we'd returned to the palace soaking wet after dark.
When we got to the shore Cisco shrugged out of his jacket and rung it out. I didn't dare undo my corset to wring out my shirt, though. There was no way I could get it back on without Cisco's help, and that seemed like a bad choice just then. The very thought of it caused my cheeks to flush. But before I knew it he was pulling off his shirt and wringing that out, too.
I gasped when I saw his arm. There was an entire new tattoo encircling his upper arm.
"What's this?" I asked, brushing a finger over the strange creature permanently embedded in his skin.
His skin was puckered with goosebumps from our swim. On the same arm, scrolled around his forearm, were inked flames that looked like they lapped his skin. Now it looked like the creature was breathing fire down his arm. They weren't his only tattoos — he had others on his other arm. But this one was more beautiful than the others.
"It's a dragon. You've never heard of them?" When I finally met his eyes he continued, "They live in the fjords to the north of Espazota. They're beautiful creatures."
"And they breathe fire?" I asked.
Cisco silently nodded as I pulled my fingers away from the tattoo. He seemed in a daze for only a moment before he pulled his shirt back on. The wet fabric clung to his skin, highlighting his sculpted physique.
"I'll take you to meet them one day." I liked the sound of that. The thought that this wouldn't be the end, that we'd see each other again, was comforting. As we broke away from the forest, Cisco said, "It won't be pretty — what happens after the alliance is broken. Always remember, I will be loyal to you the whole time, even if we're on opposite sides of the battlefield from now on. And when you seize the throne, you will have my full support, no matter what happens between now and then."
"I still don't want the throne."
Cisco shrugged as we approached the palace gate. "Maybe someone else will take up the mantle."
I shrugged in return. "Maybe." But then the question remained: would that person try to control me as Baruuk had?