"Oi! Oi! What in the world is going on out here?!" Master Roshi, still hitching up his trousers, stumbled out of the bathroom. He froze at the sight by the door. "Ehhh…? Wha… what's all this?"
Launch, who had been gradually melting into Goku's kiss, suddenly snapped back to awareness. With a sharp "Mmph!", she bit down on his lower lip. Goku instinctively let go, and she broke free, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"You think you can just take liberties with me? You've got another thing coming! Yaaahaa! Eat this! And this!" Blonde Launch immediately backpedaled, leveling her submachine gun and unleashing another wild BRRRRT! of gunfire at Goku.
The bullets had no effect on Goku, but Master Roshi, caught in the line of fire, began an impromptu, frantic dance as rounds zipped past his head and embedded themselves in the walls, his pants still pooled around his ankles. The sight was both absurd and pitiful.
Seeing the bullets were useless, Launch's eyes narrowed. She reached to her belt, pulled the pin from a grenade with her teeth, and lobbed it casually toward Goku.
KABOOM!
Master Roshi was hurled through the air by the blast, landing with a distant plop in the ocean. Half of the Kame House's front wall was reduced to splinters.
As the smoke cleared, Goku brushed some dust from his shoulder, watching the enraged blonde woman who was already reloading. He couldn't help but murmur in sincere admiration, "Now this is a fierce woman. Makes other girls look like kittens."
In a flash, he was before her. He snatched the gun from her hands, tossed it aside, and in one smooth motion, pinned both her wrists with one hand and lifted her off the ground.
"Had enough?" he said, his tone carrying a note of amusement. "A woman this wild clearly needs some proper discipline."
WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!
A series of firm, stinging spanks landed on her backside. Launch shrieked in outrage, her kicks and struggles useless against his grip. Slowly, her angry cries morphed into flustered yelps, then into breathless pleas.
"Heh… not bad, kid. You're the first one brave enough to handle Blonde Launch like that. Got guts!" Master Roshi, now sopping wet and having clambered back onto the porch, gave Goku a shaky thumbs-up.
Goku grinned, lowering a now-panting Launch to her feet but keeping a firm arm around her waist. "Master Muten Rōshi. It's been a while."
"Huh? You know me? And you are…?" The old master squinted, his head full of question marks. He peered closely, then his eyes bulged behind his sunglasses. "You… you couldn't be… Goku?"
"Heh. Two years and change, and you're still as… spirited as ever, Master," Goku chuckled.
"Wow! It really is Goku! You've shot up like a weed!" Roshi looked him up and down, astonished.
"Ahhh… So strong, so domineering…" Launch purred, having recovered her breath and her bravado. She snaked her arm possessively through Goku's. "I've decided. Goku, you're my man now."
"Ehhh?!" Master Roshi's jaw dropped.
"Huh?!" Goku himself was taken aback. A few spanks and she's completely claimed me?
"Hmph! Even if you try to refuse, it's pointless! What I decide, I don't take back!" Blonde Launch declared, her tone leaving no room for argument. The tough woman persona was in full force.
"Well, if you insist," Goku said, playing along. "I suppose I can take you on as my little wife."
"What?! 'Little wife'?!" Launch's eyes flashed with dangerous light. "You have other women?! Who dares steal my man? I'll blow her to smithereens!" She broke free, snatched up her rifle from the sand, and began firing indiscriminately into the sky.
"Enough!" Goku's voice cut through the noise. He appeared beside her again, his expression stern. "Behave, or you'll regret it."
"If I'd known a spanking was all it took, I would've tried that years ago!" Master Roshi muttered, pounding his fist into his palm with regret.
Ah… Ah… ACHOO!
A chilly sea breeze swept across the island. Launch sneezed violently.
In an instant, the fire in her eyes died. Her hair shimmered from gold back to its gentle blue. She blinked, looking around in dazed confusion, the rifle feeling heavy and foreign in her hands.
"Huh? Why was I… What happened?" she murmured, her cheeks coloring as she realized how closely she was standing to Goku. She tried to step back.
Goku didn't let her. He pulled her gently but firmly back against him. "What's there to be shy about? Weren't you just declaring to the world that you're my woman? Why the sudden change?"
"B-be your… woman? I… I said that?" Blue-haired Launch's face flushed a deep crimson, her mind a blank slate of bewilderment.
"Waaah… Goku, you scoundrel!" Master Roshi wailed, fake-sobbing into his hands. "You show up out of nowhere and just whisk my Launch away! What's to become of this poor old man now? Who will make my tea? The cruelty!"
---
Later, in the partially-damaged living room, a subdued Launch obediently poured tea for Goku. Master Roshi shot him a look of profound betrayal.
"To think, Goku," Roshi sighed dramatically. "Two years of training at the Tenkaichi Budōkai and you return not just stronger, but as a lady-killer! You swoop in and steal my precious Launch!"
Goku rolled his eyes. "Your Launch? Old pervert, take a look at yourself sometime."
"Goku, you've lost all your childhood cuteness!" Roshi huffed, then turned a suddenly lecherous grin toward Launch. "Speaking of which, Launch, my dear… if you're really leaving with him… how about one little feel for your poor old master as a farewell gift? For old times' sake?"
"YOU DEGENERATE OLD GOAT!" Goku's temper flared. He was on his feet in an instant. A single, powerful kick sent Master Roshi sailing through the newly-made hole in the wall with a comical "GYAAAH—!"
SPLOOSH.
Another distant splash.
"Daring to lay eyes on my woman," Goku muttered, dusting off his hands. "He's got a death wish." His gaze then fell on a well-thumbed catalog lying open on a side table. He picked it up. His eyebrows rose. "Huh. The old lech actually has decent taste. Heh heh… Consider this a finder's fee." He tossed the catalog into his World Ring.
Taking Launch by the hand, Goku led her outside. He spotted a bedraggled, seaweed-adorned Master Roshi dog-paddling toward shore. Goku cupped his hands around his mouth.
"Master Rōshi! We're heading out! I'm borrowing this catalog of yours! I'll return it… eventually!" With a wave and a wink, he placed two fingers on his forehead.
Whoosh.
They vanished.
"You little thief! That's a limited edition collector's item! My precious… Wait, how did he just… disappear?!" Knee-deep in the surf, Master Roshi was left with nothing but heartache, confusion, and a mouthful of saltwater.