London was grand, but nothing compared to the sticky, humid, and chaotic energy of home. After the legal dust settled in the UK, Keifer decided the best way to "reintegrate" into Filipino life wasn't a gala—it was a field trip.
"A zoo, Keifer? Really?" Jay-jay asked, adjusting her sunglasses as they stood at the entrance of a popular local zoo.
The boys requested it," Keifer sighed, wearing a plain white tee and cargo pants, looking less like a CEO and more like a very stressed tour guide. "Felix said they needed to see some 'real predators' that weren't wearing suits."
The trouble started at the Lion enclosure.
Felix leaned over the railing, staring intensely at the sleeping lion. "Kiefer, look. He has the same grumpy expression as you when you don't get your morning espresso."
"He's majestic, lazy, and everyone is afraid to wake him up," David added, nodding solemnly. "It's definitely Keifer's spirit animal
Keifer crossed his arms. "I don't sleep eighteen hours a day."
"No, but you do roar when the Wi-Fi is slow," Ci-N chirped, busy trying to feed his cotton candy to a very confused-looking goat in the petting area nearby. "Hey! Look! This goat looks like Eman!"
"How does that look like me?!" Eman offendedly shouted, while Josh and Calix were already busy taking selfies with a giraffe that was trying to eat Josh's bucket hat.
The group moved to the primate section, which turned out to be a huge mistake. A small macaque took one look at Ci-N's bright yellow backpack—filled with snacks for the flight home—and decided it was a heist opportunity.
"JAY-JAY! HELP! THE MONKEY IS KIDNAPPING MY CHIPPY!" Ci-N wailed as the monkey successfully snatched a bag of chips through the cage bars and retreated to the highest branch, mocking him with a chattering laugh.
"It's okay, Ci-N, it's just snacks," Jay-jay tried to soothe him, while dying of laughter.
"It's not just snacks, it's barbecue flavor!"
Felix tried to stare the monkey down. "Give it back, you tiny thief. That's Section E property."
The monkey responded by throwing a peanut at Felix's forehead. The "Fist of Section E" had officially been defeated by a three-pound primate.
In the reptile house, the air was quiet—until Josh noticed the Burmese Python
"Keifer, if we put this in your Grandfather's bed, do you think he'd notice?" Josh whispered.
"Josh, we are trying to be law-abiding citizens now," Keifer replied, though he looked like he was actually considering the logistics for a split second.
Suddenly, Ci-N screamed. He had spotted a small, green lizard on the wall near the exit. "BUWAYA! (Crocodile!)"
"Ci-N, that's a gecko," David sighed, rubbing his temples. "We've lived in the Philippines our whole lives. How are you scared of a butiki?"
"It looked at me with its big eyes, David! It wants my soul!"
By the time they reached the bird sanctuary, Keifer and Jay-jay were lagging behind the group. They watched as the boys tried to teach a parrot to say "Section E is the best," only for the bird to scream "ABNORMAL!" at Felix instead.
"You okay?" Keifer asked, pulling Jay-jay close.
"I haven't laughed this hard in years," she said, leaning against him. "Everything feels... normal. No snipers, no mergers, just Ci-N losing a fight to a goat."
As the sun began to set over the zoo, the Section E boys were chased out of the park by a very annoyed goose. Keifer and Jay-jay walked behind them, hand in hand, the King and Queen of a very loud, very messy, but very happy kingdom