Chapter - 55화 (55/150)
His heart wavered for a moment at the thought of the past, but Dansol forced a smile at Dohyeon.
"Then you're cured, Dohyeon. You didn't disappear—you're still here."
"I ran away back then and hid for a week. I stayed on purpose at this old guesthouse this grandma ran, for a whole week. Then one day I was watching TV, and the kids were tumbling. On the program I was a fixed cast member on... I thought everything would fall apart without me. But it wasn't like that. The members were all struggling in their own ways, but I guess I was mistaken, thinking I was the only one trying. My place could be filled by anyone. So I lied and said I ran out of money, and came back up."
Dansol remembered what he'd heard in the car earlier. Even now, the members still thought Dohyeon had just run away and come back because he ran out of money.
"But do you know what's really pathetic about people?"
For some reason, Dansol felt Dohyeon's tone was lonely. Someone who'd been fuming just moments ago looked deflated in an instant, and Dansol didn't know how to react—he only twitched his brows. Dohyeon, a little tipsy, acted like someone performing a monodrama.
"When the other members start getting popular... I get jealous. I feel lonely, and scared. Like I'm the only one... who'll get left behind. It's good when they do well because my burden gets lighter... but when it's like this—when I'm so busy I can't even practice dancing properly, and then I even lose the center spot... it's... upsetting. I'm petty, right?"
Dohyeon, who had always held Zeus's center position, couldn't practice properly because this performance overlapped with his drama filming schedule. And from the start, once Dansol was set to be Dino Soul's center, the organizers wanted Taeohh to stand in the main pairing with Dansol for buzz.
Dansol felt hollow hearing him.
This beautiful dorm with a view of the Han River, and a motherly auntie who cooked warm meals.
The anxiety, thirst, and self-loathing that Dohyeon felt—despite seeming like someone who'd reached the top in his field—were things Dansol had suffered through relentlessly, and was still suffering through.
It wasn't that Dohyeon was petty. Anyone would feel that way.
Even Dansol—who now wished the members would do well so the load on his shoulders could lighten—had, in his previous life, cursed the members who found their own places after the group disbanded.
When he saw them casually mention it like Dansol had caused the breakup—dragging him, long forgotten in the public's memory, back into the feeding frenzy of online articles—or use it as content on livestreams and variety shows, telling "the story of a failed idol group disbanding," the members looked like flowers blooming by feeding off him, and he wanted to snap them all and grind them into the dirt.
He was already shut away in some cramped room while they stood in the sunlight—yet he still felt pathetic, clinging to hope that maybe, if they called, he might get a chance to go on broadcasts again.
Dohyeon's anxiety wasn't imagination or a phantom. It was real life—something Dansol had lived through.
"It's not that you're narrow-minded, Dohyeon... isn't it just... human? I'm the same. I get jealous, I still care... I curse them and storm out, and then the moment I eat something good, I start thinking about them, worrying about them. Like I have split personalities."
"...It's gotten a little better lately. Maybe because I keep thinking this moment might not come again... Honestly, this might be our team's last year. Next year is contract renewal. If I'd known we'd split up this soon... I would've snapped less and treated them better."
Dansol counted Zeus's debut year in his head. Next year would already be their fifth year.
Most idol groups don't make it past five years—they either flop, or fail contract renewal and disappear.
Dino Soul had signed a ten-year contract that was basically slave labor. By seniority and contract length, they should've been active far longer than Zeus—but in his previous life, Dino Soul disbanded even earlier than Zeus because Dansol became the nation's enemy.
And back then, in the year Zeus's contract expired, all the members renewed and kept promoting.
"Dohyeon, you'll all renew and keep going. I'm going to sleep first."
He said that to Dohyeon, who was full of worry, and stood up.
Even lying in bed, Dohyeon's words kept circling in his head.
'If I'd known we'd split up this soon, I would've treated them better.'
He remembered the members' faces when he'd turned away after saying harsh things.
It was only a "what if," but... if he couldn't escape fate and might die again, then maybe, in this life at least, it would be okay if his younger members remembered him as a slightly better person.
In a fight where the one who loves more always loses, the one who chose to lose—before his regression and after—wasn't the members.
It was Dansol.
"Tomorrow morning, when I get to rehearsal... I have to apologize first."
"What are you doing up."
After Dansol went into his room, Taeohh's voice came from behind Dohyeon, who was staring out the window and finishing the last of his drink.
Judging by the look of it, Taeohh had come out to use the bathroom or something. Dohyeon hesitated, not knowing how much Taeohh had overheard.
"Don't mess with Dansol."
"It's not like that. He is cute, but he's not my type."
"What...? Cute? Who are you to call Dansol cute."
The sentimental mood Dohyeon had felt evaporated the moment he saw Taeohh, replaced by sudden exhaustion.
"Thanks to that hopeless Joo Dansol fanboy, my insomnia's gone."
As Dohyeon put the glass in the sink and turned away, Taeohh scratched his stomach and spoke flatly.
"I won't tell the others."
"..."
"Not the part about you not coming back because you ran out of money."
"Hey."
"And I'm doing it. Renewing my contract. Sleep."
"Dansol! Good morning! Did you sleep well? Was the bed uncomfortable?"
The next morning, Taeohh was the one who greeted Dansol—who woke up the latest.
"No... it was so comfortable I wanted to sleep forever...."
"Hey... why would you say that first thing in the morning...! Dansol, try this! It's so good it'll make you want to live a long time!"
All he'd meant was that the blanket was nice, but Taeohh panicked, shoving the sandwich the auntie had made for breakfast into Dansol's mouth while pouring him juice.
Did the others eat?
But no matter how much Taeohh tried, Dansol's head was full of his members. Minjae still hadn't replied to the message he'd sent late last night.
"If we're going to rehearsal, I should be getting up soon..."
"Huh? What did you say, Dansol?"
"Ah... my members. They need to wake up so they can get there on time... but there's no reply."
"Doesn't your manager hyung handle that?"
"Ah... our manager hyung is often late. It's better if I wake them up myself. I'll call and be right back."
—The customer cannot take your call...
No matter how many times he called, no one picked up—not Minjae, not Woo Hyun, not even Gilseong—until the ringing cut off.
Dansol grew anxious.
"No one's answering?"
"Yeah... I might have to go."
"They might just be in the shower and can't hear. For now, get in our car and let's move you first."
Thinking about how they always fought over the single bathroom, it made sense they might not hear the ringtone in the noise. With no choice, Dansol rode with Zeus as they headed to the venue.
—The customer cannot take your call...
But even by the time Dansol arrived on site, did his base makeup, and checked his outfit, Gilseong and the members still hadn't shown.
"Dino Soul! Still not here? You have to go up soon for blocking checks...!"
"Uh... I'll try calling again."
Having already called dozens of times, Dansol lifted his phone—battery hanging by a thread—and dialed Gilseong again. With his bangs clipped up for makeup, his face was filled with panic.
Click.
"Hello?! Gilseong hyung? Hyung! Where are you! Why aren't you here yet!"
—Hey, Dansol... what do we do... I don't think we... can make it.
"What...? What do you mean? Everyone's waiting here! Are you just late again? Then I'll tell them—"
—We got in a car accident...
"...Huh?"
Beep—.
In that moment, a ringing started in Dansol's ear. Without realizing it, he shifted the phone to his bad ear. With his hearing dulled, the words that reached him sounded unreal.
Gyeongbu Expressway. A three-car pileup. Hospital. And sirens.
The members—who he'd assumed went back to the dorm after practice last night—had been sent to Busan by the CEO to do an event. It wasn't even an official invitation. It was the CEO's elementary school alumni gathering. Surrounded by strangers, they'd been made to sing until dawn—then crashed on the way back up to make the morning rehearsal.
Why did that line come back to him now?
Dansol remembered what he'd said to Dohyeon yesterday.
'Maybe this moment might not come again.'
"A-are the kids okay? Everyone's safe, right? Hyung...! Which hospital? I'm coming right now!"
—No! Dansol, wait—just a second...!
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