Cassius had it all planned.
Romantic rooftop dinner in Malibu. Private chef. String lights. Ocean view. Zero paparazzi (he'd paid the restaurant owner in signed Green Lantern posters). He even turned off every single halo notification so nothing could glitch.
Tonight was for Kristen. Just them. No superpowers. No system. No chaos.
He showed up at her place in a crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled, holding a single black rose because "red is too basic, babe."
Kristen opened the door in a slinky emerald dress that made his brain short-circuit.
"Wow," she said, eyeing him up and down. "You look like you're trying to seduce me. Mission accomplished."
Cassius grinned, offered his arm. "Ma'am, I'm a professional seducer. Oscar-worthy."
The drive was perfect. They laughed about the wrap party, how Gina had tried to arm-wrestle Martin and lost, how Keira had quietly stolen an entire tray of mini tacos.
They arrived at the rooftop. The table was candlelit, waves crashing below, soft jazz playing.
Cassius pulled out her chair like a gentleman.
Kristen sat, then immediately leaned forward, chin in her hands. "Okay, spill. What's the catch? You never do normal dates."
"No catch," he lied smoothly. "Just wanted to spoil my girl."
The first course arrived—tiny scallops that tasted like heaven.
Halfway through, Cassius felt it.
A tiny golden orb drifted up from the waiter.
[Flawless Service Rhythm +3]
He ignored it.
Another from the violinist.
[Romantic Atmosphere Maintenance +4]
He mentally swatted them away.
Kristen raised an eyebrow. "You're doing that thing again."
"What thing?"
"That little eye twitch when the system is throwing shiny things at you."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
He reached for her hand across the table—smooth, romantic, perfect.
Then his phone buzzed.
Rob: BRO EMERGENCY. DAKOTA JUST TWEETED A PHOTO OF HER BUCKET-LIST NOTEBOOK AND TAGGED YOU "inspiration" WITH A HEART. KRISTEN GONNA SEE IT???
Cassius froze.
Kristen's phone buzzed at the exact same second.
She looked down. Her expression went from soft to danger.
"'Inspiration'?" she read aloud, voice sweet as poison. "With a little heart emoji? Cute."
"It's not like that—"
Another buzz. This time from Kat: missed u last night 😘 hope the wrap party wasn't too wild
Kristen's eyes narrowed to slits. "Last night? You told me you passed out alone."
"I did! I—"
A third buzz. This time it was Keira Knightley in the group chat Rob had accidentally added everyone to: Cass, the ADR session tomorrow—should we rehearse that bedroom scene again? You were very… convincing.
The string lights above them flickered like they were laughing.
Cassius's system, ignoring every command to stay off, helpfully popped up:
[Emotion Halo auto-activated due to rising romantic tension. Current boost: 300%]
[Rhythm Halo detected incoming disaster. Would you like to activate smooth recovery mode? Y/N]
He slammed N so hard his thumb hurt.
Too late.
The chef walked out carrying the main course—lobster that was somehow on fire.
Literal flames.
Cassius stood up so fast his chair fell over. "Babe, I can explain—"
Kristen stood too, arms crossed, but her lips were twitching. "You planned a perfect date and the universe still turned it into a harem rom-com?"
The violinist, sensing drama, switched to a dramatic tango.
Fans on the beach below started filming with their phones, shouting "It's Green Lantern and Snow White!"
Cassius looked at the chaos, then at Kristen, who was now openly laughing.
He sighed, pulled her close, and kissed her right there under the flickering lights while lobster flames danced behind them.
"Fine," he mumbled against her lips. "Next date we're doing drive-thru and a blanket fort. No halos. No celebrities. No system."
Kristen grinned, biting his lower lip. "Deal. But only if you promise to still cheat with the rhythm thing in the fort."
System notification he couldn't ignore:
[Kristen Stewart Favorability +15. Current: MAX]
[Hidden Achievement Unlocked: Date Failed Successfully]
Somewhere in the distance, Rob was probably crying into his protein shake.
Best worst date ever.
Omake: Kristen's Chaotic Revenge Date
Kristen had been plotting for three whole days.
After the flaming-lobster rooftop disaster (and the 47 paparazzi photos of Cassius kissing her while a crustacean burned behind them), she announced, "My turn. One date. No system. No excuses. You will suffer."
Cassius, still slightly hungover from the wrap party and terrified of her smile, agreed immediately.
She picked the location herself: a tiny, "authentic" Korean barbecue place in Koreatown that had exactly four tables, zero celebrities, and a neon sign that read "NO PHOTOS OR YOU DIE."
Perfect.
Cassius showed up in jeans and a hoodie, trying to look normal. Kristen arrived in ripped black jeans, one of his Green Lantern hoodies, and a mischievous glint that made his survival instincts scream.
"Sit," she ordered, pushing him into the corner booth.
The ajumma running the place took one look at Cassius and gasped. "Green Lantern boy! You eat free if you do the coin trick!"
Cassius tried to decline. Kristen kicked him under the table. "Do it, hero."
He sighed, flicked a coin, and the entire restaurant cheered like he'd summoned the ring itself.
System, of course, betrayed him instantly:
[Rhythm Halo auto-activated: 400% boost because "she looks scary-cute"]
[New orb detected: Ajumma's Grill Mastery +11]
He ignored it. He was here to be a good boyfriend.
First round of meat hit the grill. Kristen smiled sweetly. "So… tell me again how you 'passed out alone' after the wrap party?"
Cassius opened his mouth.
His phone buzzed.
Kat: hey, that thing we did in the SUV after the bistro… still thinking about it 😏
Kristen's eyes narrowed. She stole his phone, read it, then typed back with a straight face: Sorry, wrong chat. This is his girlfriend. He's busy being punished.
She hit send.
Cassius went pale.
Then Keira texted the group chat (which Rob had still not removed him from): Cass, the bedroom ADR reshoots next week… should I wear the same shirt? You seemed to like it.
Kristen read that one aloud in the most British accent she could fake. "Oh, Cass, you seemed to like it."
The grill suddenly flared up like a Parallax explosion. Grease fire.
Ajumma yelled, "Green Lantern fix it!"
Cassius panicked and accidentally constructed a tiny green energy spatula with his mind (old habit). The entire restaurant screamed in delight and started filming.
System went feral:
[Emotion +15]
[Aura +22]
[Achievement Unlocked: Turning Date Into Viral Moment Again]
Kristen stared at the floating green spatula, then at him, then slowly started laughing so hard she had to hold onto the table.
"You absolute disaster," she wheezed. "I wanted revenge, not another meme."
Cassius, face burning, dismissed the spatula. "I swear I turned the halos off—"
His phone buzzed again. This time it was Dakota: the bucket list scene we rehearsed yesterday was so intense… thank you for making me feel safe 🥹
Kristen looked at the message, looked at Cassius's terrified face, and suddenly grabbed his collar, yanked him across the table, and kissed him hard right over the sizzling meat.
The entire restaurant exploded in applause and ajumma cheers.
When she pulled back, her lipstick was smudged and her eyes sparkled with pure evil satisfaction.
"Revenge achieved," she whispered. "Every time another girl texts you, I get to do that in public."
Cassius, dazed and half-grilled, could only nod. "Yes ma'am."
System popped one final notification he couldn't ignore:
[Kristen Stewart Favorability +25. Current: OVERFLOW]
[Hidden Title Acquired: Professional Boyfriend Punisher]
[Rhythm Halo suggests: Next date = blanket fort, zero phones, or she will actually murder you]
Later that night, back at home, Kristen curled up on his chest while they watched terrible reality TV.
"You know I'm not actually mad, right?" she murmured.
"I know."
"Good. Because if you ever pull that 'drunk and wake up with mystery blonde' stunt again…"
She paused, then grinned.
"I'll just invite Kat and Keira to the next date and make it a double… triple… whatever. We'll call it Green Lantern: Harem Protocol."
Cassius groaned and pulled the blanket over both their heads.
"Baby, please. I'm begging you. No more chaotic dates."
Kristen's evil laugh echoed under the blanket.
"Too late. I already booked the blanket fort for next Friday. And I invited Rob as chaperone."
Somewhere in the darkness, the system quietly displayed:
[New Quest: Survive Kristen's Love Language – Difficulty: Nightmare]
Reward: Domestic Bliss (probably)
Cassius smiled despite everything.
Worth it.