POV AZAZEL
I went home and, in hindsight, seriously considered whether I should join the guardians. I was curious about their secrets—about that crucial piece of information: which guardian's child it might be whom the "Above" had hunted down and addressed straight to Pandemonium.
It could be important, especially if Lucifer was searching for the Grimoire and planning to escape Pandemonium.
So why did I ultimately decide—once again—to stay where I was, in my current position and circumstances?
First of all, because of Betty.
But not only because of her. I could make friends with the guardians later as well.
More than the guardians' secrets, I was interested in what Lucifer was planning. And if a guardian could find that out, then it was my responsibility.
After all, Lucifer had made me the leader of his "case."
I trusted the guardians more than I trusted Lucifer anyway. Perhaps because I knew them better. I found it more useful to investigate Lucifer's affair than to pry into the guardians' secrets.
Samyaza wasn't angry.
I don't know why, but I feel that the guardians—more precisely, the guardians cast out by the "Above"—were waiting. Or hoping that one day I would return from Pandemonium.
I never planned to return to the human world, yet here I am.
We'll see what happens NOW.
I am the only one among the watchers who chose Pandemonium over the human world.
…because, as we know, humans began blaming me for all of their sins.
I had no reason to stay.
And yet I still feel good among humans. I admit—it will hurt if I have to leave again.
Then I found myself thinking about the angel. What did it feel like to see her again—my angel ex?
Ugh… I had to face the fact that I was an idiot for thinking about her for ten thousand years.
She hated me—the outcast guardian. And just like the other fallen guardians, she dismissed me as nothing.
How could I not have deduced this back in Pandemonium?
Well. I could have.
The truth is, I needed an illusion to cling to. Rational thought and reality—Betty—erased all of that instantly.
She can go on hating me and dismissing me like the other guardians who made mistakes. That's her role. I don't care about her hatred or her contempt.
What I care about is why she came, who sent her, and who she's allied with.
Perhaps the only way to find out what I want to know is to speak with her.
If she shows up again.
If she turns her head away and refuses to answer, that won't affect me either.
I will try to find out what interests me.
So, I turned on the television. A good source for studying this era.
Ugh… I flipped through channels for a long time before something finally caught my interest.
It was a science program.
Ugh… humans still know so little about their own potential.
Well, as I've said before, this time I certainly won't be teaching them anything.
Had I become sentimental instead of thinking?
Hmm… time to examine my own thought processes.
It's strange how a being of pure mind becomes increasingly emotional in the presence of humans.
First, emotions accompany a single thought—then more and more of them.
Is this what the "Above" call contamination?
And how does this work for humans? Perhaps completely the opposite? Do their emotions create their thoughts? How do humans feel—and think?
I watched a few psychology lectures.
I spent my time like that until about three in the morning.
Then I had to sleep, because I had to go to work the next day.
This was my first day handling an external meeting.
With Selma.
Selma was mysterious. There were no morning meetings at all.
She had long ago enrolled in a morning yoga course, and every morning she escaped there.
Then she worked at full throttle. She compensated for that free time not with extra hours, but with more focused, concentrated work.
Ugh… all right. Then I'll do yoga in the mornings.
It might even be useful.
My thoughts from the previous night came back to me. Humans had invented practices to become more like us.
Yoga didn't help me. Today I paid even less attention to my work than usual.
I was waiting to meet Betty. I waited all morning for that.
After work, in my rented apartment, I couldn't prepare calmly.
I couldn't believe it. Marduk had returned.
"I'm staying, and I'll watch over the children yet to be born."
He said it rather grumpily.
I suppressed a smile.
Marduk had started to care about something beyond himself.
Ugh… I'm going to watch this whole program!
While he was at home, he was glued to the internet. I didn't ask what he was looking for.
I sent him a friend request—just so I could better see what he shared. He accepted it sometime in the evening.
He wasn't watching social media.
It lifted my mood a little to see Marduk like this. I immediately recognized a potential ally in him.
Well, it seemed Marduk had ended up like me.
If Lucifer is plotting something dirty, Marduk will be the first to turn against him.
Naberius.
Aamon.
Me.
Life is strange. The fourth point will be Marduk.
I saw the potential ally in him, and I became much kinder toward him.
Of all beings—Marduk.
He isn't a demon either, by the way, but Lucifer took him in because the "Above" didn't find his person particularly likable.
In parentheses, I'll admit that in this matter, I understood Heaven.
"Have a pleasant afternoon."
Yes. I said that to Marduk.
He looked up, surprised by this unusual kindness.
I held his gaze.
He nodded and looked at me seriously.
Perhaps he was now assessing me as a potential ally as well.
I'll admit it now: he resembled the "Above" too much. That's why I didn't like him.
Order.
Discipline.
Fine. You'll get to know him.
I'll have an angel-, guardian-, and demon-free afternoon.
And of course, Marduk won't be part of it either.
Just Betty.