Samael stood alone on top of the building.
That place brought back unpleasant memories.
It was the same place where he had encountered that Cursed thing.
But this time, it was different.
Because he was alone.
And this time, he didn't even dare approach that window.
"I needed a moment alone."
There were too many things to put in order.
Too many.
Remembering Tenebrae's words and Bel's condition, Samael finally realized that the time had come.
The time to stop running away.
"I'll accept myself."
"Now."
The promise he had been postponing for months finally had to be fulfilled.
His body trembled.
Not from the cold.
But from fear.
"If I accept that I'm not human..."
"If I accept that I don't have a fixed gender..."
"If I accept that I don't even have a completely defined identity..."
"Will I still be me?"
The question terrified him.
"What if I change?"
"What if my bonds disappear?"
"What if the people I love stop loving me?"
"And if that happens... then what's the point of changing?"
Samael closed his eyes.
"But is there really a reason to accept myself?"
For a moment, he tried to run away again.
But only for a moment.
"There is."
"Elizabeth knows who she is."
"Liu knows who she is."
"And if I want to walk beside them as an equal..."
"Then I need to discover who I am."
He sighed.
— Just like Liz said...
His voice was quiet.
— We're companions.
— One shouldn't depend on the other.
— That would be wrong.
"I need to stop dramatizing."
"I've never seen anyone treat their own Flaws and Attributes like curses."
"The day I awakened my Aspect, I cried over nothing."
"A lot of people received far less and are still grateful."
Slowly getting to his feet, he began walking.
Almost unconsciously, his steps were slow.
As if he wanted to delay that moment.
As if he were still afraid.
Until he finally stopped in front of the mirror.
Samael closed his eyes.
He took a deep breath.
"Who am I?"
Then he opened his golden eyes.
But, as always...
His reflection remained blurred.
— I am Samael.
— I am a Nephilim.
— I don't have a specific gender.
— And I'm tired of running away.
His voice was steady.
— So...
— Please.
— Let me see myself.
— Let me accept myself.
Because that world wasn't kind enough for someone incapable of accepting themselves.
But the mirror remained the same.
Blurred.
Unchanged.
— Please...
he pleaded.
Nothing.
Samael stared at the reflection.
And nothing happened.
Then he turned around.
"There's no need to rush."
"I can do this another day."
Another excuse.
Another escape.
But after taking a few steps...
He stopped.
His hand clenched tightly.
So tightly that his nails pierced his skin.
Blood began to drip.
And he turned around once more.
That was when the blur began to fade.
Slowly.
Very slowly.
Until, for the first time in a long time...
He saw himself.
A girl.
Golden eyes.
Hair that blended snow-white and gold into an almost unreal combination.
Beautiful.
Very beautiful.
The last time he had seen his own face, he had still been a Sleeper.
Now, as an Awakened...
She was even more beautiful.
And it still felt strange.
Uncomfortable.
But for the first time...
It wasn't unbearable.
"Maybe a compliment will help..."
Samael's cheeks turned red.
— You're so beautiful, Samael...
His voice came out softly.
Embarrassed.
But a smile appeared on his lips.
It felt strange.
But it was a beginning.
Then his eyes widened.
— Ah...
— I have to do this with both forms...
Because if he accepted only one of them...
The problem would simply return.
— Ow...
— My hand...
The blood was still dripping.
But something was different.
Now...
He could see his own reflection in the drops of blood.
"Come on."
"You need to compliment yourself every time you see yourself."
"Acceptance is practice."
"That's all."
Then, blushing even more, Samael forced himself to continue.
— Samael...
— If beauty were a crime...
— You'd be sentenced to life in prison.
Silence.
Even Samael was horrified.
— Wow...
— That was terrible...
It was one of the pickup lines he had found on the internet.
The only one he remembered.
And ironically...
The first person he had ever used a pickup line on in his entire life...
Was himself.
— I'll never say that in front of anyone else.
he promised, completely red.
Sitting down again, he realized he wasn't sleepy.
Then something else came to mind.
"My species."
"I still have to accept that too."
Compared to everything else, that almost seemed easy.
Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the sky.
— Nice to meet you.
— I'm Samael.
— A Nephilim.
He introduced himself to the wind.
It was embarrassing.
But strangely...
Easier than complimenting himself.
"I wonder if I'll grow wings someday?"
The question suddenly appeared.
Nephis could create wings using her flames.
Maybe...
Maybe one day he could too.
The thought brought a small smile to his face.
But another thought soon followed.
The future.
— I have to decide what to do...
Because he knew.
He knew what was coming.
— The next major event is Antarctica.
— And if I survive...
— The government will drag me there.
Samael sighed.
He still regretted signing that contract.
— I think I need to become an Ascended here in America.
It was the best way to survive.
— And during Antarctica...
— I need to become a Saint.
— Only then will I have the right to choose my own destiny.
But then another question arose.
A much heavier one.
— What about the others?
— Do I have the right to drag them along with me?
— Do I have that right?
The headache returned.
He had only just begun accepting himself.
And he already had to plan for the future.
He had to think about survival.
About power.
About responsibilities.
About choices.
And above all...
He had to deal with fear.
The fear of losing someone.
Because of his own decisions.
Samael let out a long sigh.
He had finally managed to look at himself.
But apparently...
The world had no intention of giving him time to enjoy that small victory.
Because even after beginning to accept who he was...
He still had to discover who he wanted to become.