"Achoo! Achoo!"
Inosuke let out two earth-shaking sneezes, rubbing his nose, which had turned red from the cold.
"Damn it… must be that grinding-head bastard talking trash about me again."
"Inosuke-kun, did you catch a cold?"
Tanjiro asked with concern, handing over his scarf.
"You don't look so good."
"Shut up.
I'm hungry."
Inosuke shoved the scarf away, rubbing his stomach in a foul mood.
They'd been rushing nonstop these past two days with the Kasugai Crow nagging them—no proper meals at all.
Just then, from the road ahead, came a wail so loud it sounded like someone being slaughtered.
"Please! I'm begging you, marry me!
I'm definitely going to die! I'll 100% die on my next mission!
Just think of it as charity—let me leave behind a descendant!
Waaahhh!"
Tanjiro froze.
"That voice…?"
Inosuke's brow instantly relaxed. He recognized that noise immediately.
Wasn't that the blond guy who owed him a mountain of money and cried all the way through Final Selection?
The two walked forward and saw a blond boy in a yellow haori clinging desperately to a village girl's leg, bawling with snot and tears all over his face.
A Kasugai Crow circled helplessly above his head.
Agatsuma Zenitsu.
"Let go! I don't know you!"
The girl was pale with fear, struggling to break free.
"I won't let go unless you promise to marry me! Save me, please!"
Zenitsu cried even louder.
"So noisy."
A lazy voice sounded above Zenitsu's head.
The crying stopped instantly.
Zenitsu stiffly looked up and saw a face familiar enough to haunt his nightmares—
and two serrated blades gleaming coldly in the sunlight.
"B-b-b—"
He stuttered for a long time.
"Big what?"
Inosuke bent down, flashing a devilish grin.
"Your creditor's here. Not gonna say hello?"
"BOSS!!!"
Zenitsu instantly released the girl, rolling and crawling over to hug Inosuke's leg.
"Boss, save me! I don't want to go on missions!
That crow said I'm heading south-southeast—there are definitely demons there! Scary ones!"
"Get off. You're getting snot on me."
Inosuke kicked him away in disgust, then grabbed him by the collar like a chick.
"Perfect timing. I'm short a bag carrier.
Since you're so afraid of dying, you can follow me and be my bait."
"Bait?!
No! I'll die even faster!"
"Shut up."
Inosuke glanced at Tanjiro.
"What are you spacing out for? Let's go.
We're heading south-southeast to wipe out a demon nest."
Amidst complete chaos, the original duo became a trio.
Inosuke led the way, full of swagger.
Tanjiro followed with Nezuko on his back, helplessly playing mediator.
Zenitsu trailed behind, crying nonstop, only to be forced forward at swordpoint whenever he lagged.
By evening—
An eerie mansion appeared at the end of the road.
"This it?"
Inosuke stopped, ears twitching.
Absolute pitch activated.
A sound like drums beating directly on the human heart echoed faintly from deep within the house.
"That's…"
Inosuke narrowed his eyes, a sharp glint flashing through his emerald gaze.
As a transmigrator, he knew exactly what lay ahead.
The Drum House.
Kyogai—the former Lower Rank Six, stripped of his title.
"Zenitsu."
Inosuke suddenly wrapped an arm around the trembling Zenitsu and pointed at the mansion.
"Since you're so scared of dying, let's play a game.
Whoever kills the demon inside first doesn't have to pay me back."
"No! I'll pay! I'll write IOUs! I'm not going in!"
Zenitsu shook his head wildly.
"Not your choice."
Inosuke kicked the door open.
"Time to demolish the house, minions!"
Inside the Drum House
The moment they stepped inside, a powerful sense of weightlessness struck.
Space twisted. Gravity flipped.
Tanjiro and Zenitsu were sent tumbling as the room suddenly rotated.
But not Inosuke.
The instant he entered, he adapted.
When the room rotated ninety degrees, he drove his iron fan into the floor like a nail, anchoring himself. His body hung upside down like a giant bat.
"Inosuke-kun! Be careful! Something's wrong here!"
Tanjiro shouted, steadying Zenitsu.
"What's wrong about it?"
Inosuke grinned smugly from above.
"It's just a spinning house."
Just then—
Boom.
A drum sounded.
The room flipped again. A claw burst from the wall, slashing toward Tanjiro's back.
"That's… a Drum Demon?!"
"Don't touch my prey!"
Inosuke roared, kicking off the ceiling and launching himself like a cannonball.
"Gonpachiro! This drum-beating freak is mine!"
Midair, he drew his blades, eyes blazing with excitement.
Ever since Muzan injected him with blood in Asakusa, a violent force had been boiling inside him, nowhere to vent.
Now—he'd found the perfect punching bag.
Kyogai scoffed and struck the drum embedded in his shoulder.
Boom.
The room flipped.
Anyone else would've lost balance instantly.
But Inosuke twisted his waist midair, performing a move that blatantly defied physics.
His left serrated blade stabbed into the floor for leverage, while his right blade swung with the rotation's momentum—
straight at Kyogai.
"Hey, drummer."
Inosuke landed before him, blade pointed at the drum in Kyogai's chest.
The icy blue edge shimmered with faint crimson lines.
"Your rhythm's a mess. It sounds like garbage."
"Let me teach you what real tempo is!"
Total Concentration—Breathing!
Inosuke inhaled deeply. The red patterns along the icy blade pulsed.
But before he could strike—
Boom!
Another drumbeat.
The hallway flipped ninety degrees again. Tatami mats turned into vertical walls as paintings and vases crashed down.
"So rude,"
Inosuke muttered with clear disdain.
"Spinning things around like this just makes people nauseous.
Are you trying to attack guests with vomit?"
Kyogai's veins bulged.
As a former Lower Rank Six, nothing enraged him more than his art being dismissed.
"Shut up, insect!
Don't trample my drums with your filthy existence!"
Boom boom boom!
Drums on his shoulder, leg, and abdomen thundered at once.
The room spun wildly. Three invisible claw-shaped shockwaves tore through the air, sealing off all of Inosuke's attack routes.
Blood Demon Art: Rapid Drum Strike!
"Filthy?"
Inosuke's eyes went cold, his noble façade shattering.
"My clothes are worth ten thousand times more than this dump!"
The tearing pressure of the shockwaves scraped across his skin like blades.
"Too slow."
He inhaled. His chest expanded slightly as icy energy flooded his arms.
Total Concentration: Ice Breathing
Second Form — Shattering Ice Fangs: Whirling Dance!
His twin serrated blades cut through the gaps between the shockwaves at impossibly precise angles.
Ziiip!
Kyogai's prized vacuum slashes were caught by the blades' teeth—
and shredded like silk.
"W-What?!"
Terror flooded Kyogai's eyes.
"My turn, drummer."
Inosuke flicked his foot and hurled his iron fan.
Smack!
It slammed into Kyogai's drumming wrist, freezing the joint instantly.
"This hand—your timing's off."
His voice was calm, like a strict music teacher correcting a student.
Then—
Zzzrrrk!
The serrated blade bit into Kyogai's shoulder.
Inosuke spun gracefully, back turned, and yanked downward.
"AAAAAH!"
Kyogai screamed as his shoulder—drum and all—was sawed clean off.
"Too loud."
Inosuke flicked the black blood from his blade.
"Since you love spinning so much, I'll send you off properly."
He crossed both blades.
For a moment, the cruelty inherited from Doma burst forth in full.
Total Concentration: Ice Breathing
Third Form — Avalanche Saw Fangs!
A flash of cold light—
Thud.
Kyogai's head rolled away. His body crumbled into ash.
Inosuke picked up the still-twitching drum and tapped it once.
Boom.
"Sound's not bad."
He tossed it aside in disgust.
"Shame the craftsmanship's trash. Not worthy of me."
He straightened his collar, once again looking carefree—as if the killing intent from moments ago had never existed.
On the other side of the mansion—
When Inosuke emerged, blades in hand and steps elegant, Tanjiro was carrying the rescued child, exhausted.
Zenitsu cowered in a corner, shaking.
"Yo."
Inosuke covered half his face with the iron fan, smiling faintly.
"Everyone still alive?"
"Inosuke-kun!"
Tanjiro sighed in relief.
"You're okay! That Drum Demon—"
"Taken care of."
Inosuke said lightly.
He bent slightly toward the boy named Kiyoshi.
"Kid,"
his voice suddenly gentle, almost hymn-like.
"This house is a mess, and the feng shui's awful. I purified it for you. No need to thank me."
Before the child could feel grateful, Inosuke held out his hand and rubbed his fingers together.
"As a purification fee… got any money?"
Kiyoshi: "..."
Tanjiro: "..."
"Inosuke-kun! Don't bully children!"
Tanjiro screamed in despair.
"That's called equal exchange."
"Alright, job done.
This place is filthy—I'm going back to bathe and change."
Just as they were about to leave—
Inosuke's heightened senses screamed.
A hostile presence burst out of the forest.
"Boar Rush! Boar Rush!"
A wild figure wearing a boar's head mask, wielding two chipped swords, burst through the bushes and charged them.
This was where Hashibira Inosuke was supposed to appear in the original story.
But in this timeline—
who was this?
A fake?
"Who the hell is that?! So gross!"
Zenitsu shrieked.
Inosuke stared at the boar-masked man, a surge of inexplicable anger rising.
It felt like seeing a cheap knockoff.
That guy's swords were serrated too?
"Hey!"
Inosuke drew his blades and blocked the path.
"Where'd this bootleg come from?
You dare cosplay in front of me?"
"Boar Rush! I'll cut you in half!"
The boar-man charged without listening.
Clang!
Four blades collided.
Inosuke stared at the boar mask, brow twitching violently.
"So smelly."
He inhaled sharply.
"Go take a bath—NOW!"
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