Chapter 71: It's Shopping, Not a Date!
Ten minutes later, Takumi and Kensei were tied up and kneeling at the entrance to the main hall. A sign hung on Kensei's back: "I am guilty. I've been broken since the day I was born."
Takumi's punishment was even more outrageous—a stone-carved Jizo statue strapped to his back, complete with a placard that read: "Namu Amida Butsu, Buddha, please save this hopeless pervert!"
"Wahhh, Ma-sensei, you've doomed me!"
"I'm the doomed one here, you idiot! How could you fall for Miu's bluff so easily? She's usually such a dense girl—how did she turn into a genius around you?"
"I was exhausted from training, so my defenses were down! Besides, I've heard love makes people stupider, but never that it makes women smarter!"
From a distance, watching the two of them, Fuurinji Miu flushed with embarrassment and irritation.
"What is that idiot Takumi even saying?! Who's in love with him?! Damn it, he still won't spill where the photo collection is hidden—even though Ma-sensei already confessed!"
Standing beside her was a woman with long black hair simply tied back, her beautiful face expressionless. She wore a black ninja outfit, the mesh at her chest revealing large expanses of snow-white skin and a deep cleavage. After staring seriously at Takumi for a moment, she spoke.
"Protecting something precious, refusing to compromise even at the cost of death… Very good."
"Shigure-nee, but those are photos of us being secretly taken! How can you cheer him on? This is so embarrassing!"
"Embarrassing… is… what?"
"…"
"Oh ho ho, Miu, we're running low on ingredients at home. Go do some shopping. And take Kouichi with you—he's been here a week and hasn't really left Ryōzanpaku once."
"No way! He only suffered a few minutes of punishment—he hasn't reflected deeply enough on his actions!"
"I don't recall ever teaching my granddaughter to use such dignity-crushing punishments on a man."
"Wah, but kneeling seiza is normal! Ma-sensei said his wife uses this method to correct his mistakes—it's a caring way to fix a man's bad habits!"
Fuurinji Hayato looked utterly speechless. Shio, chugging cheap industrial-grade booze straight from the bottle, burst into laughter.
"Haha, I've heard that's a traditional thing on the mainland! Women really are terrifying. Good thing I'm not getting married!"
"Apachai, Muay Thai has seiza training too, right? Mainly for the knees. Apachai doesn't understand."
"Enough, Miu. Take Takumi along. And… make him carry these as punishment."
Thanks to Akisame's intervention sparing Takumi from the legendary "loving seiza torture," he followed Miu out of Ryōzanpaku. A fifty-kilogram Jizo statue was strapped to his back, and six iron balls dragged from chains around his ankles. Every step scraped sparks across the ground like an old ox plowing a field.
"What's with that?"
"Abuse?"
"Nah, that's Miu-chan, right? Ohhh, I get it—dojo training! Miu went through the same thing when she was little. Even had the police show up thinking it was child abuse, yeah."
"Wow, the training's so brutal no one dares join Ryōzanpaku dojo anymore. I remember the record was three days."
"Three days? Nah, there was one guy who lasted years back in the day… until they had a huge falling out, I think."
Passersby whispered among themselves. Takumi kept his eyes forward, nose to the grindstone, tuning them all out. Seeing him struggle, Miu softened a little.
"Takumi, just hand over the photos and I'll unlock those weights for you."
"No! No! Absolutely not!!"
Takumi jolted back to life and refused instantly. Miu's face turned bright red.
"You're hopeless—your mind and body are both corrupted beyond saving!"
Takumi stared straight ahead, pretending not to hear. Miu fumed, equal parts angry and flustered. This guy acts like a scared kitten during training, but when it comes to this he's stubborn as a toilet stone—stinky and rock-hard! She huffed, ignored him, and sped up. Takumi struggled to keep pace. Their bizarre procession made the crowd part like the Red Sea.
"Hanada-san, one bag of potatoes, please."
"Oh, Miu! Haha, figured you'd show up around now. Here ya go—one hundred kilos of potatoes. Yeah, I threw in a little extra."
"Thanks, ojisan! Give the bag to this guy, please."
Miu flashed a sweet smile and pointed at Takumi. The middle-aged shopkeeper took one look and whistled.
"Wow, that's intense! New guy, huh? His build reminds me of Ogata-kun."
Miu's expression changed instantly.
"No, no, they're completely different! This guy's a bit of a perv, but he's definitely not… dark."
"Dark? What?"
"Nothing! Here's the money, Hanada-san. We're heading to the next shop!"
Miu quickly changed the subject. Takumi took the heavy sack of potatoes from the shopkeeper, hugged it to his chest, and followed along. He pondered inwardly.
"Ogata…? Who was that? Feels vaguely familiar…"
"Oba-san, ten kilos of beef, please!"
"Ohhh, Miu-chan! Here ya go—usual discount, twenty percent off."
"Arigatou!"
"Ena-san, thirty kilos of green peppers, please."
"Miu! I told ya, call me Ena-nii! One more 'nii' and I'll knock another ten percent off."
"Stop it, Ena-san! I'll tell your wife!"
"Nooo, my bad, my bad! Ninety percent off, here!"
All along the shopping route, despite Takumi's outrageous appearance, everyone ignored it because of Miu. She greeted people warmly, flashed those infectious sweet smiles, and the vendors responded with equal enthusiasm.
"Wahhh, so this is her real self… She never gives me that kind of smile. Negative favorability rating? Damn it—if things keep going like this, when that Kenichi guy shows up, won't he just steal her away from me?!"
Takumi fretted, completely oblivious to how hypocritical his own thoughts were. Finally, the shopping was done. Takumi had turned into a walking mountain of bags.
"All right, let's head back."
Miu waved at him and—surprisingly—took some of the lighter bags off his hands. Takumi felt a tiny spark of emotion. Very tiny. Because what she took was just the bread bag.
Meow…
A little kitten called out from atop a nearby wall. Miu's eyes lit up. With a light leap, she floated onto the wall like a feather, startling the kitten into hissing and swiping.
"Don't be scared, little kitty. I won't hurt you. Here, have some bread."
Miu spoke softly, tore off a piece of bread, and offered it. The kitten seemed to sense her kindness. It wasn't fully feral either—it approached cautiously, nibbled the bread, then licked her palm affectionately. Miu giggled.
"That tickles!"
After playing with the cat for a bit, Miu's mood visibly lightened. On the way back she stopped acting cold and actually helped Takumi lighten his load properly. Unable to hold back, he asked,
"Miu, do you like cats?"
"Mm, I love them the most."
"Then why don't you keep one?"
"…I can't."
Miu shook her head, refusing to explain, and hurried back into Ryōzanpaku. Takumi followed. Suddenly a flash of red—something landed on his head. A tiny mouse with a red ribbon tied to its tail squeaked at him.
"Tōchūmaru?"
Takumi instantly understood. And he realized why Miu couldn't keep a cat. What a thoughtful, kind girl…
"Young man, back from your date with Miu?"
A ghostly figure hung upside-down from the Ryōzanpaku gate. Jet-black hair—even darker than black pearls—cascaded in front of Takumi's face. A faint scent filled his nose—shampoo? Or maybe just her natural fragrance.
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