"I just...I don't think I'll ever be enough for him..."
"Hey, hey, don't cry. You're amazing just the way you are."
He lips his hand in mine. Something about his touch feels deeper than just friendship.
"I know it's not my place, but I've always felt you deserve better than Min-ho. If you were mine, (Y/N)..."
He sighs and breaks off with a shake of his head.
"Let's just say I could think of better things to do with you than hide from the world."
Several months earlier...
After spending a few more weeks in Italy, I'm finally on my way back to the states.
"Home sweet home. We stayed in Naples so long, it almost feels weird to be flying back..."
"I miss hot dogs!" Mickey sighs
"I miss English!" Mason chuckles.
Lee Know threads his fingers through mine on the armrest between our seats.
"It's hard to believe how much has changed in just a few months."
"You're right, but I'm more interested in how much things are going to keep changing. For instance, the boys will go back to school–"
"Don't remind us."
Lee Know and I chuckle at Mickey's exaggerated pout.
"Maybe I can still get them to turn the plane around..."
"As much as I enjoy spending time with you, I'm not sure I can handle another transatlantic flight back-to-back."
"Yeah, and we miss Grandma and Grandpa!" Mason says.
"Good thing you're headed straight to their house once we land. They insisted it's been too long, since they came home from Italy before us." Lee Know smiles.
As the boys high-five, Lee Know leans in and whispers to me...
"Plus, it gives us some much-needed alone time back at the penthouse."
My body instantly responds to the implication in Lee Know's voice.
"Good. I have wicked plans for you..." I give him a seductive smile.
I trail my fingers over his arm.
"And I need all night to carry them out."
As the plane begins its descent, I'm not sure if my stomach is fluttering because of the drop in altitude...or in anticipation of the future. After dropping the twins off at their grandparents', Lee Know and I settle into the backseat of a limo. Carter turns around from the driver's seat.
"Should we stop by the office, Mr. Lee? Or go straight home?"
"Home please, Carter. It's been a long day already."
As the car pulls away from the curb, Lee Know raises the privacy partition and rests his hand on my thigh. Just his touch sends tingles of electricity through me.
"Mr. Lee...don't stop there..."
I put my hand on his, guiding it toward the apex of my thighs.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Ms. (YLN)."
I inhale sharply as Lee Know takes back control of his fingers, teasing and torturing me. Lee Know leans closer, planting slow kisses on my cheek, along my jaw, and down the curve of my neck. I tilt my head to the side with a groan.
"Let's take the private elevator up to the penthouse...I can't wait another moment to get my hands on you."
"Then don't."
I capture his mouth in a kiss that quickly turns feverish. Lee Know breaks apart just long enough to lower the partition a few inches.
"Take us to the back entrance of the building, would you, Carter?"
"Certainly."
I practically sprint inside the elevator, pulling Lee Know along with me. He has just enough time to hit the button for the penthouse before my clothes are off and I'm reaching for him.
"I hope this elevator moves really, really slow."
Lee Know smirks as he wraps his arms around me.
"Oh? Do you have an exhibitionist streak I don't know about?"
"No one can see us in here!"
"True. Which means I can do this..."
Lee Know presses me back against the cold metal of the elevator as he captures my mouth with his. I grip his shirt, making quick work of the buttons.
"Clothes...off...now..."
"Yes, ma'am."
I take in every inch of his body as it's exposed to my hungry gaze...
"I never get tired of seeing you like this..."
Lee Know runs his hands down the length of my body, his fingers like fire against my skin.
"The feeling is very mutual..."
He leans in and follows the same path with his lips, his tongue darting out to tease and torture me. Just when I feel like I might explode, the elevator dings and opens up into the penthouse. Lee Know guides me back into the hallway as he kisses along my collarbone. I let my head fall back to grant him better access.
"Bedroom."
"So bossy..." He chuckles.
"I like it better when you show me who's boss."
Lee Know reaches for my sides, then trails his hands down between my thighs. His fingers dip under my panties, making me gasp as he teases me briefly before pulling back. Then he takes my hand and puts it against his member, and I can feel him growing harder under my touch.
"You like it when I take charge, huh?" Lee Know raises his brow.
"Yessss..."
"Then get in the bedroom."
I nod with a smirk, giving a noise of surprise as he smacks my ass when I move past him toward his room. I climb onto his bed, moving backward so my eyes never leave his. I can see his chest rising and falling rapidly from the anticipation. Lee Know grabs my legs to stop me, pulling me toward him.
"No need for these now..."
He hooks his fingers under my panties, swiftly pulling them off. Lee Know spreads my thighs, and all thoughts of who was in charge vanish as his fingers brush my center.
"Don't stop..."
He keeps up the torturous pace, but his other hand moves down until he can slide one, then another finger inside me.
"Oh God...Faster..."
Lee Know does as I command, moving against me with such speed and precision that I feel myself hurtling toward the edge.
"Like that?"
"Yes...yes! "
I can't wait any longer. I pull him onto the bed with me, expertly guiding him back so I can straddle him in one fluid movement.
Lee Know's strong hands steady me as I position myself over him, lowering his briefs just enough so I can sink down onto his length.
"(Y/N)... You feel amazing."
"Like coming home."
I moan with pleasure as Lee Know thrusts deeply. My nails dig into the muscles of his shoulders as I begin to move up and down, grinding against him. His hands cup my ass, helping to steadily increase the tempo.
"Just...like that..."
As the pressure builds inside of me, I grab the back of Lee Know's neck and pull his gaze to meet mine.
"Watch me, Lee Know... Watch what you do to me."
Maintaining eye contact, I reach up to cup my breasts, then pinch my nipples. I feel a jolt dance down my spine to my core.
"Yesss..."
A string of curses falls from his lips as my hips pick up speed and pleasure surges through me...
"So...beautiful..."
The two of us reel together, spasms overtaking me both at the same time...
"...Lee Know! "
After I freshen up, I head to my old bedroom...but my luggage is nowhere to be found.
Weird. Maybe Carter accidentally left it in the car?
I hunt down Lee Know in the master bathroom, where he's already changed into his pajamas.
"Hey, have you seen my–Oh! There's my suitcase."
"Actually...I was thinking you could unpack here, in the master suite."
"You mean move in with you? But what if I drive you crazy?"
"You already do. That's how we got into this whole mess, remember?"
"That's not what I meant... We've never actually talked about this sorta thing before. I'm a blanket hogger! Did you think of that?"
"Then we'll buy more blankets. However many it takes to keep you warm."
"But..."
Lee Know slides his arms around me, pulling me in close...
"(Y/N), I'll do whatever it takes to make you comfortable. I just want you in my arms every night as we fall asleep and every morning when we wake up."
"I want that too."
"Good. Now, tell me exactly how many blankets you need, and I'll make it happen."
I smile, then move to start unpacking my suitcase into one of the drawers Lee Know has already cleared out for me.
"It's almost surreal, being back in New York. I was getting comfortable in our little Italian bubble, but now that we're back to our real lives..."
"We're going to have to figure out how to be together here too."
"Exactly. I know we can't officially go public with our relationship just yet, since the company's still recovering from the wedding. I think your dad would have a heart attack."
"True, but there is something we can do to take a step in the right direction. ...You're fired."
"What? Are you serious? What did I do? Well, other than sleep with the boss..."
"Sorry, I meant that I don't think you should be the boys' nanny anymore. You're so much more to this family, and I want to make sure that you know it."
"I do, but won't it be suspicious? I won't have a public reason to hang out with you anymore. Not to mention the new nanny will eventually learn all our dirty secrets."
"(Y/N), you are not a dirty secret. We'll hire someone discreet and they'll sign the usual NDA. The rest...we'll have to come up with a plan."
"What if I train the new nanny to start? That'll buy us some time and–"
I cut off as a yawn envelops me. I smile at Lee Know sheepishly.
"We can discuss the details tomorrow, or whenever the jet lag wears off. Right now, there's nothing I want more than to sleep with my live-in girlfriend."
The two of us slip into bed together. Lee Know's arms slide around me as I drift into a comfortable sleep. A few days later, Jenny and I chat on the phone, covering everything from the traffic on her fashion blog to my flight home.
"So while you're living that 'fun-emplyment' life, who's gonna watch the boys?" Jenny says.
"Lee Know and I are interviewing a bunch of nanny candidates today actually."
"Ooh, pick someone hot!"
"Ha! So you can date them?"
"Exactly!"
"Sorry Jen, but 'datable' isn't really high on the priority list in terms of hat we're looking for."
"Boo, fine. But since now you owe me... I got you a little 'welcome home' present. Carter should've left it in the entryway fro you.
I find the package quickly and open it to find a cute fall outfit.
"I know, it's too much, but I couldn't help myself. You're back in NYC, baby! You gotta put your best, most fashionable foot forward. :And if it makes Lee Know want you just a little bit more, what's the harm?"
"Okay, you've convinced me! I'll try it on, but I'm not making any promises."
"You will once you see how fab it is. I'll call you later, mu-ah! "
I hang up with Jenny, then head to the other side of the penthouse to get a better look at the stylish casual outfit.
"She's right, I do wanna make a good impression today..."
I look at myself in the mirror, admiring the outfit she picked.
"Jenny strikes again. Let's see what Lee Know thinks."
I go to meet Lee Know in the home office, where he's reviewing applications while he waits.
"Don't worry, I know all the things we should be looking for in a nanny...and all the things we definitely want to avoid."
"If you're concerned about..."
Lee Know looks up mid-sentence and trails off as he takes in my new look from head to toe...
"Wow. You look...wow."
He reaches out and pulls me into his lap so he can shower my neck with kisses.
"What was that about me being concerned?"
He captures my lips for one last lingering moment...
"Just that if you think I'll try to hire another beautiful, smart, charming young woman who steals my heart...I've got my hands full with you already."
"You're right. I'm not worried. Besides, we can role-play 'the nanny and the dad' anytime you want"
"...Good to know."
Throughout the morning, hopeful candidates come and go, vying for my old position.
"Your most important duties will be school drop-offs and pick-ups, some meals, homework, bedtime... How do those tasks sound to you?" Lee Know asks.
"I can, like, totally do that. Gives me lots of chances to catch your kids doing something funny or stupid on camera. My video views explode if there's a kid in them for some reason."
"Uh, I don't think we want to expose Mason and Mickey to your...tens of followers." I say.
"Definitely not." Lee Know agrees.
We send the young lady on her way and bring in the next interview.
"Have you ever worked with children before?"
"My last girlfriend said that I was kinda like a child. Does that count?"
"We'll take that as a 'no'..." Lee Know sighs.
Next interview.
"What's most appealing to you about this position?" Lee Know asks.
"Well, my own children haven't spoke to me in decades, so I see this as my second chance."
"Uh, right. Maybe we should do a hypothetical next... Let's talk about what you'd do in an emergency. You're playing hide and seek with the boys, but Mickey shouts that he's stuck, and all you can do is follow the sound of his voice. Then, you hear the sound of a loud crash in the kitchen, and Mason starts yelling for help. What do you do?" I tell Lee Know.
"Make Mason clean up the kitchen and put Mickey in time out after I find him. And it goes without saying that I'd never let them play such a childish game ever again."
"I think that's all I need to hear." I say with a fake smile.
"Same." Lee Know adds.
After a few more rounds of unsuccessful interviews, I'm just about ready to call it for the day.
"Was this what it was like when you met me? Did you just hire me out of utter desperation?"
"I definitely met some duds, but you were also just an excellent candidate in your own right. We've only got one more on the list for today. Jordan Le..."
As if on cue, the elevator dings and a moment later, Carter shows in a bright-eyed young man.
"Hello, I'm Jordan Le, pronounced 'Lay'. It's nice to meet you."
Hmm...he certainly seems professional. Let's hope his answers match.
"Thanks again for submitting your application, Mr. Le. It's impressive. Can you tell me why you want this job?"
Lee Know passes the resume to me, and I glance over the paper.
Oldest of six kids... Started a neighborhood babysitting company as a teen... CPR-certified...
"Well, I want to apply my child psychology degree to a practical setting, but it's more than that. I believe children are the doors to our future, and their guardians are the keys. Not that I'd be a guardian! I know I'd just be a nanny, but it takes a village, right? ...I came on way too strong, didn't I?"
"I wouldn't say that–"
"I bet dropping my degree like that sounded desperate. I knew I shouldn't have led with that."
Lee Know casts me a sideways glance, and I raise an eyebrow at his unasked question.
"I think we're just both surprised to have such a qualified candidate after the other interviews we've had today."
"Oh! Then I'm not failing miserably?"
"Not at all."
Lee Know's phone buzzes, and he checks the screen with a frown.
"Sorry, I've got to answer this. (Y/N), can you take over for a few minutes?"
I nod, and Lee Know ducks out of the room. I turn to Jordan with a critical eye.
"Alright, next question... What's your scandal strategy? Once a tabloid finds a subject that sells copies, they don't let it go. Especially when it comes to the Lee family. What do you do when the next smear campaign breaks?"
"Other than stick to 'no comment'? My top priority is to protect the boys at all costs, even if it means hunkering down in the penthouse until the storm dies down. I just hope they won't tire of blanket forts and Bill Nye experiments too quickly. And... I hope this isn't too presumptuous, but can I just say that I have so much respect for what you went through?"
"What do you mean?"
"What happened in Italy. It was a nightmare scenario for any staffer to the elite, having your employer going through that kind of public scrutiny. But they never printed a bad word about the boys, which I'm quite sure is a credit to you. I really admire that."
"Thank you, but Min-ho also takes the boys' safely very seriously, Mr. Le..."
"Please, call me Jordan."
Just then, the sound of two familiar voices bleeds through the office door, followed by the thunder of small feet.
"Park! Park! Park! Park! "
The office door swings open and Lee Know walks in, tucking his phone into his pocket as the twins dodge around him.
"Will you come to the park with us, (Y/N)? Say yes, say yes!" Mickey shouts with joy.
They both stop short when they spot Jordan sitting across from me. Mason squints at me suspiciously.
"Who's that?" Mason asks.
"Whatever you're selling, we don't want it." Mickey crosses his arms.
"Boys, don't be rude. Sorry, Jordan. I think their uncle Robin rubbed off on them a little bit too much." Lee Know informs Jordan.
"That's alright. I would also be suspicious of a complete stranger hanging out in my home."
"Did I miss anything?"
"Just Jordan continuing to impress. I was just about out of questions."
"When do we get to interview him?" Mickey asks.
"Yeah, what's my favorite snack? How many books are we allowed to have in bed? Do you like pranks? Er, I mean experiments? " Mason adds.
"Slow down, boys. Maybe Jordan can come to the park with us? Consider it the hands-on portion of the interview."
"Sounds great!"
"And (Y/N)? Will you join us?"
Lee Know leans in and lowers his voice so only I can hear.
"I could use another set of eyes to help me evaluate Jordan, and I know the boys would love having the whole family together... What do you say? "
"I'd love to come."
"Yaaay!" Mason cheers.
"Park! Park! Park! Park!" Mickey chants.
The park is sunny, breezy, and filled with children when we arrive.
I guess we weren't the only ones trying to take advantage of the last few days of summer.
"Alright you two, try to stay close. It's crowded today, so if we get separated, meet us at the tall slide. Okay?"
"Tall slide!" Mickey shouts.
"Got it!" Mason follows.
The boys bolt off in different directions, Mickey toward the monkey bars and Mason toward the swings.
"Well, that didn't last long. Why don't I stay with Mickey while you two watch Mason? Problem solved." Jordan chuckles.
"Actually, consider this your first test. Min-ho and I aren't always going to be here."
"The park gets like this all the time, and Mason and Mickey don't always want to do the same activity."
"Right. The tall slide plan is a good backup, but shouldn't be relied on... Other options to make the twins easy to find in a crowd: GPS watches. Neon clothes. Bells on their shoelaces."
"You get points for creativity, but those things only work if the boys keep them on."
"Which is never a guarantee. I usually just stand with one twin and keep my gaze focused on the other. Your peripheral vision does the rest."
"Makes sense."
"And remember...if you freak out, they'll freak out. They're really receptive to your moods and emotions, especially Mason. Even if something unexpected pops up, it's important to stay calm so they do too."
"I see. These are great tips, thank you."
"Now, why don't you jump in there and get your hands dirty? Sometimes being a nanny is just about having fun too." Lee Know urges.
"That I can do."
Jordan cups his hands and shouts to the boys...
"Mason! Mickey! Do you two wanna play Lava Monster?"
"Yeah yeah yeah!"
"Wait for me!"
Mickey jumps off the monkey bars and runs toward me while Mason slows his swing to a stop."
"Jordan's the monster!" I shout.
"Look out!" Lee Know blurts.
"Raaaahhhh!"
"On second thought..."
Lee Know and I share a worried glance as Mason stops short and stares at Jordan. Lee Know starts toward Mason, but I shake my head, letting him know I'll handle it as I reach a hand out to Mason.
"Here, kiddo. We'll outrun the Lava Monster together." I smile.
"Coming!"
Mason grabs my hand and the two of us take off toward the jungle gym, scurrying up the ladder. I pause to catch my breath as I reach the platform at the top.
"I think we lost him."
I peer over the edge of the railing and spot Jordan going after Mickey and Lee Know first.
"I'm gonna get ya!" Jordan shouts.
"Never!" Mickey yells back.
I turn to Mason.
"Looks like we're in the clear for now."
As he snuggles into my side, I squat down to look him in the eye.
"So what do you think of Jordan so far?"
"Oh, he's fine..."
"There's no right or wrong answer. I just want to know how you actually feel."
"In that case...I feel like it doesn't really matter. He's just gonna leave in a little bit anyway."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, all of our other nannies left. And Aunt Sofia was just starting to be nice to us before she disappeared. Even you left us for a little bit before we ran after you. So..."
"So why bother?" I finish his sentence.
"Yeah..."
"Mason...this is different, I promise. I know there was a lot of turmoil in Italy...but things have calmed down now, and your dad and I are going to make sure they stay that way. That's part of why Jordan's here. To help us all settle into a new routine."
"I guess that makes sense."
My heart gives a little twinge, and I wrap my arms around him. He leans into my embrace.
"It's okay if you don't like your new nanny right away, whoever they are. But just know that I'm not going anywhere."
His little arms squeeze my middle, and he smiles up at me.
"Good."
"And if you give Jordan a chance, maybe he'll become a part of your life like I did."
Well, not exactly like I did.
Just then, a shadow eclipses the two of us, and Jordan lunges toward us from behind a post.
"Gotcha!" Jordan shouts.
"Ahhh!" Mason screms.
"Run!" I urge Mason.
Mason and I go down the ladder as fast as we can, ready to sprint when we hit the ground. I almost run right into Lee Know who scoops Mason into his arms and pretends to bite his stomach.
"You might be able to escape Jordan, but you can't escape me! Muahaha!"
"Nooo!"
"I want Dad to be it now! Dad's it!" Mickey shouts.
While Lee Know pantomimes transforming into a monster before his big attack, Mickey grabs my hand and pulls me after him.
"There's only one place too high for the Dad dragon to reach!"
Mickey points to the pinnacle of the tallest slide at the playground.
"Can I count on you to help me escape, Special Agent (Y/N)?"
"You got it. I'll go down the slide with you!"
The two of us flee up the ladder as Lee Know chases us, arms outstretched.
"He's right behind us!"
"Don't worry! This hundred-mile escape hatch will shoot us all the way to safety!" I laugh.
"Can't control...must eat...son!"
I swing my legs onto the slide with a laughing Mickey in my lap.
"Ready?" I ask.
"Ready!"
We shoot down the length of the slide, holding tightly as Mickey throws his hands in the air.
"Wooooooo!"
Mickey smiles up at me.
"If every day with Jordan is like this, then this year is gonna be awesome! "
"I don't think there'll be a Lava Monster every time, but I'm glad you like him."
"Mickey! (Y/N)" Mason shouts.
"Look out!" Jordan warns playfully.
"And now I've got both of you!"
Lee Know jumps out of nowhere and wraps us both in his arms!
"Noooo!"
"I guess that makes me...the Lava Monster!"
I chase after the others, laughing and smiling in the warm afternoon sunlight. After a long afternoon at the park and some thorough showers, Lee Know and I stretch out in bed together and discuss the day's events.
"So, what do you think of Jordan?"
"Jordan is definitely the best we've seen."
"Agreed. I'll reach out to him with an offer in the morning, then. Thanks for all your help today, and for volunteering to train him."
"It's a good excuse to keep doing my favorite parts of the job. Otherwise...it might raise a few eyebrows if I'm doing lots of school pick-ups."
"Only until we can go public. But meanwhile...I'll just have to find a way to be enough for you at home."
"Mmm...you might have to work overtime."
Lee know flips me onto my back, hovering over me as his eyes flash.
"I think I can handle that. I'm a very dedicated worker, you know..."
As he dips his head to scatter kisses on my collarbone, a thought occurs to me.
"Oh, that reminds me! I forgot to ask you about that call you got earlier during Jordan's interview?"
Lee Know pulls back with a grimace, but keeps his arms wrapped around me.
"Things have been a little strange lately, what with the merger and the breakup. My dad isn't exactly pleased with me or Robin. He called a shareholder meeting for Lee-Russo Incorporated next week...and he wants you there."
"Me? Why?"
"I have no idea. At this point, we have to be prepared for anything."
Oh God...what have I done?