Monday, 25th of January.
I clumsily tripped on air. For the second time today. Dammit.
With my ADHD, getting lost in my thoughts was a common issue, but I didn't expect it would make my brain ignore walking. Usually it makes me drop things or run into something, but this was a new low. Ahh, whatever.
Hurriedly making my way to a small, run-down building, I knocked on the door. I was really excited...today was the day of my job interview! Is this place shady and filthy? Yes! Do I care? No!
"Who's that?" a deep male voice came from the door
Busy inspecting the cracks on the doorframe, I took a second to realize someone asked me something.
"Uh-hi! I'm Emmet Roshfield and I'm here for my job interview!" I answered. Hopefully the delay didn't make a bad impression...then again, I doubt they'd care looking at the place I was knocking on.
"Okay" the voice replied.
After a minute, I couldn't contain my boredom anymore. "Sir? Can you uhh, open the door?"
"Who are you again?"
'If this was ragebait then this fucker definitely succeeded...'
Holding back my genocidal thoughts, I answered in a sweet tone "I'm Emmet Roshfield, who you asked for a job interview..." and not waiting for the guy to speak, I continued "...who would very kindly appreciate if you, sir, opened the damn door and got this over with."
Damn, it seems I'm in a really bad mood today for no apparent reason. Normally I wouldn't be this aggressive, but I worked so I have no regrets.
"Alright kiddo, no need to get mad."
I heard the sound of a lock clicking and the door opened to reveal the most dirty, disorganized room I've ever laid my eyes upon. The sheer scent emitting from the unwashed clothes and week-old pizza boxes was enough to drive anyone crazy, not mentioning the loud, scratchy rock music coming from a half-broken boombox at the corner of the room. In the center stood a kitchen table with a few pieces of what I assumed to be paper and a skinned pencil. The voice from before came from a unhygienic college student casually playing some weird mobile game on a moldy wooden chair.
I wanted none of this. Job or not, I'm leaving! However, just as I was turning around, the student said something.
"You have an hour"
An hour? An hour for what? My interview? Does he want me to spend an hour in here with him? Questions filled my mind, but like the perfect disordered individual that I am, I ignored them and asked a question I've imprinted into the back of my skull.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you have an hour before they take you away to that...place."
"They? Who's they? And what's this place that you're talking about?" on second thought I could not restrain any questions inside my brain, and they all burst out one after the other "How do you even know this? Aren't you supposed to be some random deadbeat? Why do you look like a corpse? What's with your room? What do you even know about me? Why am I still talking to you?"
He looked in silence. I could see he was slightly amused, so I stopped. For now.
"Look-I've got things to do. Sorry if I bothered you, I'm not taking the job and I'm grateful that you invited me here." I glanced back as I took my leave. The guy was still staring. Weirdo. "By the way, you're really weird."
'Oops, my tongue slipped. He had that coming though.'
I sighed as I ordered a taxi back to my friend's apartment. Yeah, I'm a terrible person alright. At least the student from before had a house, unlike me who sucks up to others for accommodation.
When I came home, I slumped on my bed and started scrolling.
Oh, lemme guess, you're saying 'Stop scrolling and be productive!', 'Shorts are bad for you!', well sorry but that's not how I work. Trust me, I have my plans, but they're just taking their time to work so I scroll through shorts to kill time.
'Speaking of, it's been an hour since I went to the guy. Wonder what happens now?'
As if right on cue, I saw a tendril thing on my left arm.
'What. What is that.'
As I lifted up my shirt to investigate, to my horror, another tendril slithered up my other arm. I panicked and tried to pry it away, but that only seemed to make it tighten, which really really hurt. In a daze, I looked around for anything that might help remove these tendrils.
"Yes! A knife!" I exclaimed, picking up a knife on the kitchen counter, I got ready to cut the tendril on my right arm.
And then I looked at it.
My arm, no my entire body had been absorbed in these strange tendrils. That didn't really register on my mind until it started to hurt. I shouted in pain and hacked the knife at the black tendrils but it did nothing. They were making their way up my cheeks. I knew I had limited time.
So with a few seconds in hand, I decided to make the worst decision ever. Of course, it seemed okay at that time, but now I deeply regret it.
"I'm gonna go out my own way!" I murmured, my mouth being half covered. With the remaining portion of my strength, my knife arm made a burst of force and cut into my temple. Deep.
That was a lot more painless than I thought. It stung for a second, and my vision started to fade into black.
*****
I woke up, dizzy from whatever bs just happened.
"Hahah...I really died didn't I...is this heaven? Hell?" I inquired out loud, not expecting anyone to answer.
Fortunately, a kind nightmarish horror of a spider heard my question and replied with a leg to my chest, much to my appreciation.
"Ukh! What was-" I didn't get to finish as I felt some sticky substance engulfing me, pulling me into a net of sorts. The spider released a red aura and such a terrifying killing intent that I could feel it. Welp, this was a fun trip. I'll be actually dying now!
And then to me and the spider's surprise, a surprisingly sharp stalactite fell from the sky, impaling it as I approached me. It unfortunately wasn't dead, but the thing was enough to pin it to the ground. I used to opportunity to try and escape from the net.
I tried various methods such as pushing myself away from the net, spitting on the net, trying to cut the net, but none worked as the net was too dense.
'What kind of material is this?? What even is this-creature?? I always spiders, I always hated spiders, I always hated spiders...'
Panicking, I did anything in my power to break free, knowing full well that nothing would work. I was in a completely unknown realm and facing some horror entity. If there was anything I could do, it was to let myself die.
What a wonderful start to my afterlife.