Seeing this scene, Ruan Mei's nails, though not very long, sank deep into her palms.
At this moment, how she wished Qi Zhimu would release all his resentment and hatred toward his teacher.
But he didn't.
He had no expression, as if he had stopped thinking; his body radiated no emotional aura, and he remained motionless in place.
Until late at night, Qi Zhimu walked with stiff steps to the wine cellar, took all the plum blossom brew aged over three years, and returned to the window of the Bamboo House.
Sitting there, he mechanically opened the seal of a wine jar, held it up, and drank with his head tilted back.
Before he had even finished one jar, he already showed the signs of being drunk.
But he did not stop; after drinking two jars in a row, a smile appeared on his expressionless face, and he slowly stood up.
Ruan Mei did not know what he was going to do next, and many guesses flashed through her mind.
But she never expected—
Qi Zhimu returned to the medical room and stopped in front of the control console.
Without any pause or hesitation, he began to write the program he had once used.
"No, don't..."
Ruan Mei couldn't help but let out a low, sobbing plea.
But no matter how she pleaded, it was ultimately a past Remembrance that would not stay or change for her.
For Qi Zhimu, he was not only reclaiming the collapse and despair of over a hundred and fifty years ago, but also the boundless pain of personally stripping away his own self.
Even now, Ruan Mei still couldn't see a single shred of resentment or hatred in Qi Zhimu.
Please, say something... okay...?
As if her plea had traveled through time, space, and the sea of stars, the young man who had begun stripping his memory lowered his eyes and murmured to himself.
"If only I hadn't brewed plum blossom brew aged over three years..."
"If only Teacher hadn't saved my life..."
"If only Teacher... hadn't picked me up and brought me back..."
"It's all my fault... everything is my fault... I'm the one who made Teacher unhappy..."
Under the light, Qi Zhimu's shadow slowly writhed, eventually shrinking completely into his body.
An aura of absolute isolation and loneliness quietly enveloped him.
Seeing this change, Ruan Mei's pupils suddenly constricted.
She had seen a Pathstrider of a certain faction and knew what this phenomenon meant... At this moment, Qi Zhimu had stepped into the shadow of Nihility and become a Self-Extinguisher.
Self-Extinguishers often share common traits: their various existential attributes—body, cognition, memory... will all gradually vanish on the journey of self-annihilation.
Some people's skin becomes like rotten wood, covered in scars and holes.
Some people's endocrine systems begin to malfunction; they cannot distinguish between joy and pain, becoming numb to everything.
Some lose their memories, some lose their senses... they seem to be deprived of the meaning of life by some existence, only able to see their own figures in dreams and hallucinations, disappearing into a black hole at the end of the horizon.
She had seen such Self-Extinguishers in the clinical cases of the Doctors of Chaos.
Self-Extinguishers who have just stepped into the shadow of Nihility basically show no significant symptoms and are no different from normal people.
To reach that severe stage, there would be an irreversible, progressive process.
A thick sense of sorrow appeared at the corners of Ruan Mei's mouth.
How ironic?
Qi Zhimu was dying, but because he was in the early stages of the self-annihilation process, he wouldn't die so unsightly.
But is dying like this not unsightly?
"It's clearly not your fault..."
It's all Teacher's fault, it's all because of Teacher... The pain of stripping away memory was just like that year.
It was just that for someone whose heart was dead, none of it mattered anymore.
While waiting, Qi Zhimu looked up to confirm the progress, then pulled out a piece of white paper and began writing something.
One was posted on the control console, reminding himself not to seek out the forgotten memories again.
As for the last one, Ruan Mei couldn't see what was written.
Until the memory stripping progress reached 100% and the sealing was complete, Qi Zhimu still hadn't finished writing.
He suddenly froze, the pen in his hand trembling before finally slipping from his fingertips and falling to the floor.
"This is...?"
"Why does my heart feel so uncomfortable..."
Clutching that piece of paper, he returned to the window and discovered the plum blossom brew on the floor; a strong impulse rose in his heart.
—Drink it.
—Drink it all!
Before long, not a drop was left.
He took the a type of chinese lute hanging to the side into his arms and plucked a chaotic melody.
A hint of sweet, metallic blood gradually filled Ruan Mei's mouth.
Drinking plum blossom brew can improve one's mood, even if one drinks until completely drunk and unaware of what they are doing.
She already understood this.
But Qi Zhimu's mood did not improve; the notes he plucked were full of loneliness, mourning, and solitary sorrow... that's right, the power of Nihility.
He was already a Self-Extinguisher, so how could he be affected by the special effects of the plum blossom brew?
He continued to pluck the strings tirelessly until his consciousness fell silent and all movement ceased.
Nowhere to mend the leaking sky, the lowly earth makes this life feel adrift.
The violent curtain of rain combined with the darkness to completely swallow the Bamboo House.
Upon waking, Qi Zhimu had forgotten all the old pains, leaving only confusion regarding the mess on the floor.
Ruan Mei thought so too, until she saw what he had written last night and heard the melody he played next.
That melody sounded a bit familiar... that's right!
Ruan Mei looked up abruptly; when she gave Qi Zhimu the a type of chinese lute, he had played it once.
Only once.
After more than a hundred years, the lyrics were finally completed.
The lyrics and music blended together seamlessly.
Unconsciously, Qi Zhimu's expression became somber and his voice turned deep.
"Autumn arrives, the sound of leaves in the empty courtyard fades; a lonely lamp stays awake, waiting for someone to look back."
"Three years of dreaming memories, yet never speaking out; in the end, unable to escape despair and sorrow, bidding farewell to the vigil..."
"A cup of Ardent Heart Wine down the throat; where to find a soulmate? My heart is breaking."
"Drunkenly entrusting my obsession to the moon, I ask from afar: do you know?"
"Just one look and the obsession remains; the old years flow like water, and you walk away alone."
"Sighing for a deep love unknown, love is like spilled water, impossible to retrieve..."
"Deep autumn comes again, at the end of the long night; drinking a whole pot, hoping for an old friend to look back."
"Love has lasted so long, yet I never spoke; still unable to escape infatuation and old sorrows, bidding farewell to the vigil..."
"A cup of Ardent Heart Wine down the throat; what does the departed one seek? My heart is breaking."
"Drunkenly entrusting my sincerity to the moon, I ask from afar: do you know?"
"Just one thought of mutual understanding is like a curse; still strangers, I do not see you look back."
"Sighing for a deep love unknown, love has turned into nothingness..."
"A thousand cups of Ardent Heart Wine down the throat; the departed one is hard to find, whose heart is breaking?"
"Drunk, I take the whole world as my vigil; I dare to ask: do you know?"
"In this life, suddenly looking back after waiting through life and death; are you willing to stay together?"
"Sighing for a deep love now known, love finally ends in holding hands..."
The song ended.
Ruan Mei fell into a deep state of daze.
Not a single word mentioned it, yet every sentence was about it.
For the first time, she felt that as a human being, she was incomplete.
Her understanding of love might be wrong, or perhaps... it wasn't.
She knew the love of family and the love of a teacher, but she never understood the love from a student.
Even more so, she did not know—when she had developed love for Qi Zhimu.
In a trance, her grandmother's blurred words echoed in the depths of her memory.
"A-Ruan, companionship is the longest confession of love..."
...Today is both Christmas and Thursday. There aren't many good days like this where I can treat Haji Huan to KFC and give Christmas gifts. I hope everyone cherishes the opportunity and sends some free Power of Love, otherwise—
Lao Ruan
In case you didn't know how beautiful Lao E is after the seal is released.