The days off were over. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the village was... crowded.
Really crowded.
As I walked toward the designated meeting spot (the red bridge, naturally), I noticed the change immediately. It wasn't just villagers.
Grim-faced men in bamboo hats. Women with mesh armor and scowls. Ninjas with headbands I hadn't seen in the village before.
Grass. Waterfall. Rain.
[Observation Haki: Ping.]
I scanned a trio of Rain Ninja walking past. They glared at me.
"Fresh meat," I whispered, licking my lips. "Or rather... fresh customers."
I met up with the rest of Team 7. Naruto was vibrating with energy (probably the ramen), Sasuke was brooding (standard factory settings), and Sakura looked nervous, clutching her arm.
"Morning," I waved.
"You're late!" Sakura pointed an accusatory finger. "And you smell like... perfume? Again?"
"It's the smell of diplomacy, Sakura," I lied smoothly. "I was greeting our foreign guests. Establishing inter-village relations."
"You were hitting on the kunoichi, weren't you?" Sasuke muttered.
"Details."
We waited. Ten minutes passed. Twenty.
Finally, in a puff of smoke that smelled of ozone and excuses, Kakashi appeared.
"Yo," Kakashi waved. "Sorry I'm late. A black cat crossed my path, so I had to take the long way around... and then I got lost on the road of life."
"LIAR!" Naruto and Sakura screamed in unison.
I ignored the excuse. My eyes locked onto the book in his hand.
It wasn't the usual orange Icha Icha Paradise.
It was a sleek, black book with red text. The Kunoichi's Forbidden Heat.
"Sensei," I smirked, leaning against the railing. "I see you've upgraded your reading material. Excellent taste."
Kakashi froze. He coughed, looking slightly flustered—a rare sight.
"Maa... well," Kakashi adjusted his headband, unable to hide the book fast enough. "It's... remarkably well-written. The plot is... robust. The character development in Chapter 4 is... stimulating."
"Especially the scene with the honey jar?" I winked.
Kakashi's visible eye widened. "You've read it?"
"I wrote it," I whispered, too low for the others to hear.
Kakashi dropped the book. He caught it before it hit the ground with ninja reflexes, but the damage was done. He looked at me with newfound respect. And fear.
"Anyway," Kakashi cleared his throat, regaining his composure. "I have news. I've recommended you all for the Chunin Exams."
"ALRIGHT!" Naruto jumped into the air. "I knew it! I'm gonna be a Chunin! I'm gonna be Hokage!"
"Chunin Exams?" Sakura looked terrified. "But... we're rookies!"
"It's optional," Kakashi said, handing out three application forms. "But I think you're ready. Especially you, Kenji. Though try not to traumatize the other villages too much."
"No promises," I took the paper.
[System Quest: The Chunin Exams]
[Objective: Participate and Dominate.]
[Bonus Objective: Collect "Souvenirs" from foreign Kunoichi.]
[The Konohamaru Incident]
We split up after the briefing. Naruto, still high on adrenaline, ran off to "train" (play ninja) with the Konohamaru Corps. I followed at a leisurely distance, sensing a canon event approaching.
I turned a corner just in time to hear a thud.
"Ouch! Watch where you're going, you brat!"
I looked ahead.
Konohamaru was on the ground. Standing over him was a guy wearing a black bodysuit and cat ears (Kankuro). Next to him was a girl with four blonde pigtails and a giant fan (Temari).
"I hate brats," Kankuro sneered, grabbing Konohamaru by his scarf and lifting him off the ground. "They're annoying. Maybe I should teach you a lesson."
"Let me go, you jerk!" Konohamaru kicked helplessly.
"Put him down, Kankuro," Temari sighed, looking bored. "You'll get us in trouble before we even start."
"Just a little fun," Kankuro raised a fist.
"HEY!" Naruto came charging in. "Put him down!"
Naruto tried to tackle Kankuro.
Twitch.
Kankuro moved a chakra thread. Naruto tripped over his own feet (literally, a chakra tripwire) and face-planted.
"Pathetic," Kankuro laughed. "This is Konoha's level? Leaf genin are weak."
He raised his fist to punch Konohamaru.
"That's enough."
I stepped out of the shadows. I didn't throw a rock like Sasuke would have. That was too cliché.
Instead, I pointed my finger.
[Skill: Elastic Chakra (Bungee Gum)]
Thwip.
A strand of invisible gum attached to Kankuro's raised fist. I stuck the other end to his own face.
Contract.
"What the—?" Kankuro started.
SMACK.
His own fist flew backward and punched him squarely in the nose.
"GAH!" Kankuro dropped Konohamaru, clutching his face. "My nose! What the hell?!"
"Nice hit," I applauded slowly, walking into the light. "Stop hitting yourself, Cat-Boy. It's embarrassing."
"You!" Kankuro glared at me, tears in his eyes. "You did something! A wire?!"
"Maybe," I shrugged. "Or maybe you just have clumsy hands. You play with dolls, right? Takes a lot of dexterity. Maybe you cramped up."
I ignored him and turned to Temari.
[Passive Skill: Anatomy Scan - Active]
[Target: Temari] [Affiliation: Sand Village]
[Status: annoyed / Confident.]
[Measurements: 10/10 (Legs for days).]
I walked right past the fuming Kankuro and stopped in front of her.
"Hello, nurse," I purred.
Temari blinked, taken aback. "Excuse me?"
"I apologize for my village's rocky reception," I bowed theatrically. "I didn't know the Sand Village exported such high-quality... assets. That fan is impressive. But I bet you can blow me away without it."
Temari stared at me. She was used to fear. She was used to respect. She was not used to a twelve-year-old hitting on her with the confidence of a feudal lord.
A small blush dusted her cheeks. "Are you... flirting with me? In the middle of a standoff?"
"I'm multitasking," I winked. "Kenji Sato. Remember the name. You'll be screaming it later."
"YOU LITTLE PUNK!" Kankuro roared.
He unwrapped the bundle on his back. The Crow puppet revealed itself.
"I'm going to kill you!"
"Kankuro. Stop."
The voice was quiet. Flat. Dead.
But it carried more weight than a scream.
We all looked up.
Standing upside down on a tree branch was a boy with red hair, dark rings around his eyes, and a massive gourd on his back.
Gaara of the Desert.
[Threat Detected: Gaara]
[Status: Jinchuriki (One-Tails).]
[Mental State: Unstable / Murderous.]
"Gaara..." Kankuro froze, sweating instantly. "I... they started it..."
"Shut up," Gaara said. "Or I'll kill you."
Kankuro shut up.
Gaara turned his pale, sea-foam eyes toward Sasuke (who was sitting in a tree nearby, trying to look cool with a rock in his hand) and then... to me.
He stared at me.
His sand swirled slightly in the gourd.
"You..." Gaara whispered. "Mother is interested in you."
"Mother has good taste," I quipped, though my hand twitched toward my kunai pouch. "But tell her I'm taken. I have a long waiting list."
Gaara didn't blink. "What is your name?"
"Kenji," I said. "Kenji Sato."
"Kenji..." Gaara murmured. "I will enjoy crushing you."
He turned into a swirl of sand and appeared next to his siblings.
"Let's go. We didn't come here to play."
The Sand siblings walked away.
Temari paused. She looked back over her shoulder. She looked at Kankuro nursing his nose, then at me.
She smirked.
"Kenji, huh? Don't die in the first round, pretty boy."
She walked off, swaying her hips.
[System Notification] [
Contact Established: Sand Siblings.]
[Reputation with Temari: Intrigued.]
[Reputation with Gaara: Prey.]
[Reputation with Kankuro: Hated (You made him punch himself).]
"Whoa!" Konohamaru cheered, hugging my leg. "Kenji-niichan! That was awesome! You made him punch his own face! Teach me that! Is that the Forbidden Art?!"
"That," I patted his head, watching Temari leave, "was just the opening act, kid. The real show starts next week."
Sasuke jumped down from the tree, landing beside me. He looked annoyed that he didn't get to throw his rock.
"Those guys..." Sasuke muttered. "They're strong."
"Yeah," I grinned, checking my Bungee Gum skill. "Rich, too. Did you see the gold on that fan? I'm going to steal it."
Sasuke sighed. "You're hopeless."
Author's Note:
Want to read advanced chapter subscribe to my patreon.
👉 patreon.com/evilUchiha