The truth was simple and embarrassing: I lacked the courage to die. The thought of pain alone stopped me every time, whether it was a blade or a fall. Fear made me a coward, and I had accepted that about myself a long time ago.
Marcus's face went hard. "Scarlett, this is the last time. If you'd rather hurt yourself than fight back, then I'm done. Whatever happens to you after this has nothing to do with me."
I reached out and grabbed his arm before he could pull away. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice rough and hollow. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have let my emotions take over like that."
The real truth was that I simply could not bring myself to go. Not yet. Not like this.
He looked at my red-rimmed eyes for a long moment, then exhaled slowly. He tucked my hand back under the blanket and said quietly, "Don't do anything like that again. You still have a long road ahead of you. Take it one step at a time and you'll be alright."
