Chapter 367: The Matchmaker
Sora took three deep breaths, forcing her internal systems to stabilize before
returning to her seat.
"So… Mr. Kaito, would you care for a beverage? Tea, or perhaps—"
"Unnecessary. Ingestion is impossible," Kaito pointed to his distinctly skeletal
neck.
"Oh. Right. My apologies." Sora let out a dry, hollow laugh. The atmosphere in
the office returned to its state of awkward equilibrium.
Bochi looked from one to the other, his small body vibrating with a massive
"Logic Error." He felt the silence was an inefficient waste of resources. As a
high-tier Master-Accessory, he decided to initiate a communication protocol to
break the deadlock.
"Sora! Why the sudden shift into the marriage industry? Last time I ran a
diagnostic on you, weren't you just a student?"
This topic finally allowed Sora's tensed nerves to relax. A spark of life
returned to her eyes.
"It's a long story. The Federation underwent a restructuring, the Empire annexed
the plane… the career path I was originally tracking for vanished overnight."
"For the first month, everyone was red-lining on panic. No one knew what the
next daily update would bring."
"Then, the 749 Chiliarch—Skele-Greed—published the new Administrative
Regulations. Once the populace realized the parameters were stable, we all had
to find a function. A way to earn Od."
She patted the thick stack of client dossiers on her desk.
"At the same time, the Empire was aggressively pushing the 'Integration of Human
and Non-Human Species' protocol. They were encouraging cross-planar cooperation
and cultural exchange."
"I figured that 'exchange' should start with the most fundamental, and yet most
chaotic, interpersonal relationship. So, I manifested this bureau."
Bochi's black-bead eyes widened. "But… how do humans and Anomalies even undergo
a 'Union' event? What would the resulting sub-units even look like?"
"Who said we only handle human-anomaly pairings?" Sora rolled her eyes at him.
"Our service range is extensive. Human to human, Anomaly to Anomaly, Human to
Anomaly, and even Anomaly to Undead. As long as the two parties align and comply
with the Imperial Marriage Act, we provide the 'Red Thread' link."
Kaito's soul-fire pulsed. Human to Anomaly?
"Correct." Sora's tone was matter-of-fact, even a bit prideful. "Don't look so
skeptical. The market demand in this sector is significantly higher than your
current projections."
"Since the Empire took over, Anomalies can no longer 'liquidate' humans at will.
Many low-tier Anomalies who were previously oppressed by High-Tiers are now
Imperial Subjects, just like humans. Their status is equalized."
"Over time, they see each other every day. They work together. They communicate.
Eventually, new 'variables' emerge in their relationships..." Sora waved her
hand, summarizing with a professional term: "In short: The market is immense."
Kaito leaned back in his chair, bony fingers interlaced. He looked like a senior
director listening to a grassroots performance audit.
He had to admit, the developmental vector of this world had completely bypassed
his expectations. Before arriving in the Eldritch Realm, he had simulated
various scenarios: sluggish infrastructure, racial friction, stagnant
re-education programs.
He had never simulated a scenario where he would be a bystander in a tiny
office, listening to a human girl passionately explain her entrepreneurial
blueprint for inter-species romance.
And the most absurd part? It sounded statistically reasonable.
"What is the success rate?" Kaito asked.
Sora pointed proudly at the banner on the wall. "Since opening: 127 matches.
Zero complaints."
Kaito's soul-fire lingered on the text for two seconds. "Are these numbers…
verified? No data tampering?"
Ruby, who had been trying to function as a "Background Mushroom" in the corner,
finally summoned the courage to crawl forward. Her legs were still trembling,
but once the topic shifted to her KPIs, her professional instinct overrode her
fear of death.
"The—the data is absolute, My Lord!"
"Every successful case has a detailed follow-up log!"
Misty, re-condensed into a single cloud, bobbed in agreement. Her multiple faces
spoke in unison: "We are a legitimate operation! The metrics are reliable!"
"We are certified practitioners! The data is verified! Zero logic errors! Zero
fraud!"
Kaito looked at the trio: a human CEO, a Crimson-Dress "Ruby," and a "Misty" Fog
of a Thousand Faces. The flicker of his soul-fire accelerated.
He had originally intended this excursion to be a simple distraction—a chance to
walk Bochi and check on a human asset. But he had accidentally stumbled into a
domain he had never audited.
"MASTER!"
Bochi suddenly launched himself onto Kaito's knee. His tiny tentacles waved
frantically, as if he'd been injected with high-grade mana.
"Master, don't you think this place is optimized for entertainment?!"
"It's… acceptable."
"It's more than acceptable! It's Peak Content!" Bochi bounced twice. "Sora is
helping humans find partners! She's helping Anomalies! This is a High-Tier
Authority-level feat!"
Kaito didn't respond.
"AND! AND!" Bochi's eyes gleamed with a chaotic light. "Master, think about it!
You've done everything! You've fought wars, built nations, governed Empires,
failed at fishing..."
"But you have never played the role of a Matchmaker!"
Kaito's soul-fire froze for a beat. "Define your intent."
Bochi pointed one tentacle at the banner, one at the ambitious Sora, and the
last one directly at Kaito.
"MASTER! LET US BECOME MATCHMAKERS!"
The office fell into a profound silence.
Sora's mouth hung open. Ruby's legs, which had just stabilized, gave out again.
Misty's structure began to fluctuate violently.
Kaito stared at the blue jelly on his knee—the primary source of all local
chaos. "Are you functioning within normal parameters? Are you serious?"
"Completely serious!" Bochi puffed out his body, his voice vibrating with
excitement. "Master, you govern an entire Empire without a single logic error!
Helping a few 'pests' find a partner should be a statistical breeze!"
Kaito's soul-fire pulsed. He looked at Sora.
"When does your next client manifest?"
Sora was caught off guard. She instinctively looked down at her appointment log.
"In… thirty minutes. We have one."
Kaito's bony fingers tapped the armrest of his chair.
He had manifested here to escape the frustration of his recent "Air Force"
(fishing failure). Fishing had proven to be an exercise in disappointment.
Being a matchmaker...
To be honest, that was a variable he had never tested.
"Fine."
Kaito stood up and walked with clinical precision to Sora's desk, pulling over
another chair.
"Consider me an active participant for this session."
Bochi bounced three times on Kaito's knee. "HOORAY!!!"
Ruby and Misty exchanged a look of pure terror. Their eyes asked a single
question: Did our boss just recruit a world-ending entity as a cubicle-mate?
Sora gripped her appointment book, her knuckles turning white. She was asking
herself the same question. But the Sovereign had already sat down; the
"Matchmaking Protocol" was now locked in.
"Um… Mr. Kaito."
"Report."
"The next client's parameters are… highly non-standard," Sora said, pointing to
the dense notes in the appointment log.
"This is a Tier-4 Anomaly. It has manifested here three times already. Every
previous attempt at a match resulted in a total failure."
Kaito's soul-fire flickered. "State the reason."
Sora's expression became profoundly complex. "Because its requirement for a
partner is..."
She turned the book around so Kaito could read the entry.
There was only a single line written under 'Preferences':
[REQUIREMENT: MUST BE ALIVE.]
☆☆☆
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