"I don't want to die here."
The words came out in a whisper but they filled the entire room. Carina stilled where she stood near the window, her back to me and shoulders tense in a way.
"Iris…" she began carefully.
"No," I said, shaking my head quickly.
"Don't tell me to stay. Don't tell me to trust the bond or the Alpha or fate or whatever this is. I can't…" my breath hitched. "I can't sit here and wait for four moons to pass like I'm counting down to my own death. Please say you would help me!" I cried desperately. Carina turned slowly.
Her expression was soft but her eyes were troubled.
"You think I don't understand?" she asked gently.
"I don't think anyone understands" I shot back, my voice trembling. "I can't die. Not like this"
Then the silence fell. I stepped forward, so I was closer to Carina.
"Help me leave" I begged.
"Iris…"
"Please."
Carina's face tightened, and for a moment, she looked like she might refuse outright but I didn't stop.
"I promise never to forget your good deed. I'll always remember it" she breathed in.
"I would really love to help you Iris but I can't. If we are caught I'll be punished"
"Then we'll make sure we are not caught. I promise not to implicate you even if I'm seen" she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I really can't" she turned to leave.
"Carina, Carina! Please!"
My pleas fell on deaf ears and soon I was alone. I still trembled as I remembered Carina's words.
I was going to die.
It was difficult to accept that and I didn't want to accept such. I'd rather stay in the Royal Pack and endure the harsh treatments than to remain here and die doing nothing. I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.
You can't run forever, the dark voice whispered.
This particular voice had been speaking to me since I came here. I would run for as long as I could. I'd rather die while running than be here. But I didn't know the exit of this pack. Carina had only taken me around to show me different sides of the pack but never the exit.
I dragged a hand through my hair. I had to find a way to leave but I couldn't do it immediately. I had to take my time. That seemed like a good idea to me.
After I had talked to myself, I decided to make some changes. I walking through open spaces, I had to keep myself hidden as possible. I changed my routine.
I hadn't seen the Alpha for days and I hoped it would remain that way. The only time I tried leaving my room was when I wanted fresh air but if the corridors were busy, I took another path. If voices echoed nearby, I turned around.
Carina noticed my behavior and gave her two cents. She was the only person I saw on a regular basis.
"You can't keep hiding" she said one evening.
I sat near the window, but I didn't look outside anymore.
"I'm not hiding"
"You are."
"I'm being careful."
"There's a difference." I shook my head. Carina sighed.
"He's not going to hurt you." I laughed softly.
"That's not what I'm afraid of."
No matter how much I avoided him…I felt him. It started subtly. A shift in the air or a tension I couldn't explain. A strange awareness that prickled beneath my skin. Like something, or someone was watching me closely.
It made my heart skip. But every time I turned around there was nothing. Nothing made sense. I was confused and I wanted to ask Carina but I was scared I would find out something worse.
I wanted to know all about a wolf and his mate. Maybe it would finally make sense to me.
One afternoon, It happened again. I was walking through a quiet corridor, my steps were quick and my gaze fixed ahead. I had chosen this path carefully because it was empty and safe and I knew no one would be around.
Halfway down the hall, I felt it. That pull. It was sharp and sudden. My breath caught and my pulse quickened. My heart began to pound and my steps faltered. The air felt heavier and thicker.
He's close, the voice thought came instantly. It was certain.
I turned sharply and there was no one. The corridor stretched behind, empty and silent but the feeling didn't fade. Instead it grew. My pulse raced. I took a step back in an attempt to run back.
"Stop it" I whispered to myself but my body didn't listen.
My instincts screamed for me to run. I turned and started walking fast, then I increased my space and the next minute I was running.
I turned to a corner running so fast and looking at my back at the same time. Until I bumped so hard into something that had me flying back. I landed on my bum. Pain travelled through my body and I winced.
A hand stretched forth and when I looked up, it was the same person that I had been running from. Alpha Hades. I wanted to hide my face in shame.
"Were you being chased?" There was a hint of amusement in his tone or maybe I was just imagining it. My breath caught in my throat. I refused to look him in the eye.
"Won't you take my hands? Or do you plan to remain on the ground?"
I hesitated for a moment before I put my hand in his. He held me tightly as he lifted me to my feet. For a second, we stared at each other. Neither of us moved and his gaze was steady. It was unreadable and intense and I couldn't pull my eyes away.
When I heard a creaking sound, my thoughts suddenly came to place. I quickly removed my hand from his.
"T-thank you" I murmured.
"You're welcome. Next time, I won't be here to help you so you need to be careful"
It sounded more like a warning than concern. My mind screamed at me to leave, to run away. But I seemed to forget why I had been avoiding him before.
Death, the word came to my mind. I took a step back.
Four moons.
I took another back. I watched as his expression shifted.
"Iris" his voice was so low that it almost sounded like a whisper. It sent a shiver down my spine. I shook my head quickly. I won't be swayed by his voice.
"No." The word came out breathless. His gaze darkened slightly.
"Come here."
The command was soft but it carried authority. I felt an invisible tug pulling me. My body reacted instantly. I took a step forward.
No.
I stopped myself. My hands clenched at my sides.
"I said no" I repeated again, this time, my voice was firmer. I didn't move or let the pull win.Something flickered across his face.
Surprise or interest.
I didn't know which one but he didn't move towards me. He watched me with a keen gaze.
"I'm not coming near you" I said, my voice trembling. His gaze didn't leave mine.
"Why?"
The question was simple but the answer wasn't.
Because you'll kill me. Because I'll die if I stay. Because I don't understand what's happening to me.
I wanted to scream this out but I couldn't even though it was on the tip of my tongue.
"I know about the curse" my voice came out soft.
The silence became thicker. His eyes darkened further.
"Who told you?"
"It doesn't matter." His jaw tightened.
"It does." My heart pounded.
"No," I said softly. "What matters is that I'm not going to stay here and die." His gaze darkened.
"And you think leaving here would change your fate?"
"I don't know" I admitted. I had never thought of that.
"It won't change a thing, if you leave."
The words hung in the air.
"I-I don't want to die" my voice broke.
"I'm not going to kill you"
"But you will. Just let me go"
"I don't have the power to do that but I know that I can protect you" he sounded sincere but I didn't want to believe that.
That invisible string pulled again, it was stringer this time and insistent. I felt it in my chest, in my lungs and in my veins. Drawing me closer and pulling me in.
"No" I whispered.
I was fighting everything I was feeling. I stepped back again breaking the invisible tension and creating distance.
"Then I can stay away from you"'I said quietly. My gaze didn't waver.
"If that would make you feel better" the coldness in his voice made me shiver.
"Yes"
Before I could change my mind, I turned and walked away. My heart pounding and my breath uneven. My body trembled but I didn't dare look back.