A gentle voice sounded. "Has Hisana gone back?"
Rukia Kuchiki stopped in her tracks. Without realizing it, she had already walked near Muten Natsu's room and noticed Retsu Unohana sitting on the wide eaves.
Having just returned from a meeting, Unohana had already changed out of her white Captain's Haori and black Shihakushō. A pale purple outer robe draped over her shoulders, and her jet-black hair was braided into a long plait hanging behind her.
She held a cup while gazing at the full moon in the sky. The soft moonlight shimmered in her eyes, the hazy glow outlining her graceful silhouette.
"Mm." Rukia Kuchiki hesitated for a moment. "Captain Unohana..."
"Orihime's Shun Shun Rikka shield is very effective for healing injuries, but it can't replenish Reiatsu. Muten's Reiatsu will take some time to recover. After using such powerful strength, his mind also needs quiet rest."
Retsu Unohana turned her head, a gentle smile on her face. "Would you like a drink?"
After glancing toward Muten's room, Rukia Kuchiki sat beside her. Only then did she notice the faint aroma of sake.
Taking the cup Retsu Unohana handed her, Rukia Kuchiki took a small sip. It wasn't harsh at all, and carried a light floral fragrance.
"It tastes really good."
"Then you can only have this one cup," Retsu Unohana said with a soft laugh. "After you finish it, go get some rest. Have a good night's sleep."
"Mm." Rukia Kuchiki answered quietly, turning the cup between her fingers. "Captain Unohana..."
"Seinosuke Yamada is the type who, once he decides to treat someone, keeps preparing until he's satisfied."
Retsu Unohana seemed to know exactly what Rukia wanted to ask.
"He probably believed the transplant surgery didn't have a high chance of success. That's why he revealed the procedure to Muten, hoping Muten would come to me for some guidance."
Rukia Kuchiki looked puzzled.
"Wasn't he a Lieutenant before? Why didn't he just ask you directly?"
"My relationship with him isn't very good… or rather, it's quite poor."
Retsu Unohana finished the sake in her cup.
"It's not a conflict over work itself, but a clash of beliefs. As long as it can save the wounded or sick right in front of him, he is willing to prepare and use any method necessary."
As for how far that "any method" might go, Rukia Kuchiki could more or less imagine.
But that wasn't important. It was only a way to start the conversation, and she didn't pursue it further.
Rukia Kuchiki looked at Retsu Unohana's profile, unable to help feeling a little emotional.
More than drinking, Unohana looked like she was savoring tea.
Her movements were elegant and natural, as if she were pouring the bright moonlight into her cup. With a single sip, her graceful figure seemed to release the soft glow of a crescent moon.
"Sending Muten to train with the Eleventh Division was my suggestion."
A faint smile appeared on Retsu Unohana's lips.
"Since he possesses the power of Hellfire, he would eventually use it sooner or later. Rather than keeping it sealed until the moment he's forced to use it recklessly, it's better for him to learn how to control that power while it's still stable."
"And he truly managed to do it."
Rukia Kuchiki drank the sake in small sips until the cup was empty. Holding the small cup, she drew her knees close.
"If I could trust him the way you do… maybe he would tell me everything too."
Rukia Kuchiki realized something.
If Muten Natsu had told her everything, she would definitely have tried to stop him from putting himself in danger because she feared for his safety.
Or she would have insisted on facing that danger together with him.
Either outcome was something Muten Natsu would never want.
"That wouldn't be the case."
"Huh?"
"Do you know about survivor syndrome?"
Rukia Kuchiki shook her head in confusion.
"It's a form of post-traumatic stress response. Survivors believe they are at fault for being the ones who lived through a traumatic event, which leads to many negative emotions and thoughts."
Retsu Unohana explained calmly.
"Everyone else died. Why am I still alive? Everyone died… why didn't I die too? If I hadn't done that, would they still be alive? If I had done that, could they have survived? Why didn't I do it? Why did I do it?"
"These questions keep tormenting survivors, and they eventually lead to many more serious problems."
Rukia Kuchiki recalled that incident.
"Muten… he…"
"His condition is very severe."
Retsu Unohana lowered her gaze slightly.
"He does everything he can to protect others, yet he almost completely ignores his own safety. He tries to avoid forming connections with people, but at the same time he cannot abandon those he already has ties with."
"He wishes he could be just one ordinary fish among countless others in the sea, simply swimming back and forth. No matter what he does, it would have no impact on the vast ocean."
"At the same time, he wishes he were a machine. Something that doesn't think, something without life, something that only needs to exist to help others."
"And even… he wishes he didn't exist."
Rukia Kuchiki gripped her arm so tightly that her fingertips turned pale. Her voice became hoarse.
"So no matter how much I trust him, it wouldn't help. It would only increase his burden…"
"He's done so much for me, yet I can't do anything for him. I don't even know anything…"
She and Muten Natsu had experienced the same tragedy.
She should have been the one who understood his pain better than anyone.
Yet she only realized it today.
If Retsu Unohana hadn't said these things, she would probably have continued trying to repay Muten Natsu in the wrong way, unknowingly adding to his pain while believing she was helping him.
"Looks like your situation isn't much better than his."
Retsu Unohana reached out and gently ruffled Rukia Kuchiki's short, slightly upturned hair.
"After you became a noble, when he deliberately tried to keep his distance from you, you were the one who chose to move closer. When he slept through class, you were the one taking notes for him. When someone fabricated evidence and had him imprisoned, you were the one who insisted on uncovering the truth for him."
"When he left Soul Society, you were the one left heartbroken."
"Everything he has done for you is because of everything you have done for him."
Rukia Kuchiki raised her eyes, looking pitiful.
"But I never actually helped him. Instead, I kept causing him to fall into danger again and again..."
"Everyone has their own way."
Retsu Unohana's smile remained warm.
"Muten has his way of helping you, and you have your own way of helping him. The intention behind helping each other is the same. He simply found the right method before you did."
"Then what is my way?"
"That isn't something I can answer."
Retsu Unohana lightly tapped a finger against Rukia Kuchiki's chest.
"You should go find the one who can answer that question for you."
"That long-awaited presence."