The beginning of my life was nothing like a fairy tale. Very ordinary, very quiet—and yet, so many things were hidden deep inside.
As a child, I didn't understand what lack meant. I only knew that our house was small, but the people in it were close. My mother spent the whole day doing household work, and my father worked outside. When he returned home in the evening, it felt like the day was complete.
I was a quiet child. I didn't run around much, and I didn't ask for much. I preferred books over toys. Whenever someone told a story, I would listen carefully, and when alone, I would make up my own little tales.
The safest place as a child was sitting beside my mother. Back then, the world felt very small—home, the yard, school, and a few familiar faces.
First Steps in School
I still remember the day I first went to school. A new bag, new notebooks, but an unknown fear inside. I wasn't as playful as the other children. I would sit quietly in class, and even if I knew the answer, I lacked the courage to raise my hand.
Teachers would say I was a good student. Hearing that made me feel a small sense of pride. I thought maybe I could achieve something.
But returning home, reality was different. I would hear the conversations, the worries around me, yet I said nothing. Perhaps it was then that I learned to listen more than to speak.
Gradual Change
As I grew older, I began to understand that not all families are the same. Some homes are filled with laughter, some with quietness. In ours, quiet prevailed a little more.
I learned to be happy with very little. Even if I didn't get new clothes, I didn't feel sad. It seemed easier not to ask than to want.
From a very young age, a strange habit formed within me—I kept my pain to myself. When asked, I would say, "I'm fine."
Yet, behind that simple word "fine," so much remained hidden.
Birth of a Dream
Even amidst all this, I had dreams. I didn't know exactly what I wanted to become, but I knew this—I wanted a life where no one could weigh me down.
At night, lying in bed, I would think—What will I do when I grow up?
Will I ever be able to live life on my own terms?
I didn't have the answers then. But the courage to ask these questions had already been born.