🏰 THE SETTING: B.A. CORPSE HIGH SCHOOL
The school is a gothic-industrial nightmare located on the edge of a fog-shrouded cliff in Stevenson County.
The Architecture: A mix of a medieval prison and a modern high-tech lab. The hallways are filled with flickering lights, leaking pipes, and hidden cameras installed by The Architect.
Special Locations: * The "Hale-Decker" Wing: A quiet, dusty part of the French/Portuguese department where Henry Hale and Drew spend their weekends.
The News Van: Parked permanently in the forbidden zone behind the gym, where Gail Hailstorm "tutors" Shorty and Buddy.
The Well: Located in the center of the Forbidden Ethics Garden, from which Tabitha emerges every Saturday to meet Shorty.
Dwight's High-Tech Lab: An Informatics room filled with lasers, ghost-tracking screens, and a shrine to Dwight himself.
🏫 THE FACULTY OF B.A. CORPSE HIGH (A-A-A/666) – FULL DETAILED LIST
1. Dwight Hartman & Polly (Homeroom Teacher, P.E. & Informatics)
* Age: 38
* Profile: A wheelchair-bound, muscular, cool guy who is also a brilliant inventor (creator of the plasma laser pistol and ghost-vision goggles). He has a dual personality: on one hand, he is kind-hearted, noble, and heroic, willing to risk his life for his students. On the other hand, he is hopelessly narcissistic in his love life; he only loves himself.
* Attraction: Because of his heroic aura and genius, both Ray and Theo are very attracted to him. However, due to Dwight's narcissism, neither of them stands a chance—he only dates his own reflection.
* Method: In P.E., he organizes wheelchair "hit-and-runs" and obstacle courses. In Informatics, he teaches his own custom hacking methods.
* Polly: A parrot sitting on Dwight's shoulder wearing a cool tuxedo. His personality is extremely aggressive and insolent: he insults everyone except Theo, Drew, and Dwight Hartman.
* Polly's Secret: Despite being a bird, he is incredibly perverted; he secretly stole Drew's and Theo's bikini photos from Father McFeely, which he "jerks off to." Because of this, he doesn't insult the two girls in class but praises them with charismatic compliments. Drew takes it well (enjoys the flattery), while Theo just giggles because she correctly suspects this bird is a perverted animal. 🤣
2. President Baxter Harris (Principal)
* Age: 78
* Profile: An incompetent and clueless leader. He often wears his suit jacket backward and has no idea what is happening in his own school.
* Method: He gives long, meaningless speeches. He labels every massacre as "creative self-expression."
3. Sheriff (Vice-Principal)
* Age: 52
* Profile: A strict, sunglass-wearing order-maniac. Due to his past as a detective, he finds everyone suspicious.
* Method: Following hall rules is more important to him than human life. He would shoot rule-breakers, but he casually says hello and offers donuts to Ghostface in the hallway.
4. Hanson (Mathematics)
* Age: 48
* Profile: The most hated person in school. A creepy, greasy-haired, stinking figure with a "small, deformed, wet, and eternally slimy hand."
* Method: In math class, he lures students under the desk to "help." He constantly invades the girls' personal space with his deformed hand.
5. Professor Oldman (Physics & Chemistry)
* Age: 64
* Profile: A brilliant science professor but a sick, perverted old man.
* The Secret Deal: Drew Decker is his absolute favorite. Every weekend, Drew gives him private lap dances and "oral exams" (blowjobs) to ensure she gets an A. In exchange, Oldman adores her and passes her in everything.
6. Architect (Music & Art)
* Age: 71
* Profile: An absurd, philosophical artist who is also a perverted voyeur. He has bugged the entire school with cameras.
* Secret Activity: He uses hidden cameras to pervertedly spy on Theo, Brenda, and Cindy in the showers.
* The Deal: Theo discovered the cameras and blackmailed him: she stays quiet, and in return, she, Brenda, and Cindy receive permanent A-grades in all art subjects.
7. Aunt Shaneequa (Literature & Grammar)
* Age: 42
* Profile: A wise fortune-teller and oracle.
* Method: She grades papers using a crystal ball. She often predicts students' deaths and talks to deceased authors during class.
8. Oliver (Biology & Geography)
* Age: 46
* Profile: A tough survivalist who wears camo and carries a knife.
* Method: He teaches how to rip out a heart with bare hands and shows the best spots to hide bodies in the nearby woods.
9. Mrs. Norris (History & Social Studies)
* Age: 84
* Profile: An ancient, dust-covered lady who uses real ghosts as teaching tools. She talks about wars as if they were her dates from yesterday.
10. Father McFeely (Ethics & Etiquette)
* Age: 60
* Profile: A parody priest who is secretly a dark hoarder. He treats Megan's demonic fits with constant exorcisms.
* The "Sacred Gallery" Deal: The eight sexiest girls in class regularly send him sexy nude photos in exchange for an A—photos that Polly the parrot has secretly been stealing.
11. Trooper Champlin (Safety & Work Studies)
* Age: 44
* Profile: A physically strong, strict policewoman. She will fine you for missing a safety helmet even while you are being dismembered by a killer.
12. Gail Hailstorm (Spanish)
* Age: 36
* Profile: A dramatic, flirtatious reporter. She shouts Spanish verbs in a sensationalist way as if on a live broadcast.
* Secret "Tutoring": She has sex with Shorty every Monday morning in her news van, and on Wednesday nights, she chains up Buddy for some dominant sex. Because of this, both boys excel in Spanish.
13. Henry Hale (French & Portuguese)
* Age: 50
* Profile: A mysterious figure with a whispering, curse-like way of speaking.
* Family: He is Holly Hale's father and adores his daughter (automatic A).
* The Deal: Additionally, every weekend he fucks Drew hard and intensely. Because of this, Drew also gets an A in French and Portuguese (even though she only studies French).
14. Tabitha (Religion & Special Studies)
* Age: Undeterminable (centuries-old spirit).
* Profile: A hot, big-booty well-spirit who crawls out of the TV.
* The "Diplomatic Deal": Shorty fucks her hard and intensely every Saturday. This sexual sacrifice is the price for Tabitha not harming the AAA/666 class. As long as Shorty can keep it up, everyone gets an A.
CLASS DESIGNATION: THE TRIPLE-A / 666 UNIT
Official Name: Class A-A-A/666
Official Title: The Special Excellence & Gifted Program
The Reality: The Special-ly Weird & Cursed Misfits
☣️💀🔥+🍁🔞🔪**Class A-A-/666:**
**1. Cindy Campbell (18 years old)**
The group's central survivor. Brown-haired, big-eyed, innocent-looking girl who always ends up in the craziest situations but somehow gets out of them. Smart, curious, often comments on things, but naive and easily fooled. Loyal to her friends, investigative type. In class, she's the one who pieces together mysteries and tries to survive everything. Planning to target Tom Logan as her next boyfriend because his heroic act (risking his life to save his 6-year-old niece) gives him huge bonus points with the girls – even Brenda, the tough one. Among the hot girls, she's in the "slightly behind" group (still very attractive, but more "final girl cute" than bombshell).
**2. Brenda Meeks (18 years old)**
Cindy's best friend, energetic, loud, extremely paranoid. Always predicts death, screams, runs, yells. Very funny, dramatic, gossipy, organizes parties but is scared of everything. Incredibly loyal, would do anything for the group – even in chaos she cracks jokes. Ray Wilkins' girlfriend (they're together, flirt, cling to each other, Ray protects her, Brenda teases him about his past). Ray being bisexual is a huge joy for Brenda: she fully supports him being happy with two boyfriends if needed. Gives Tom bonus points too, even though she's the tough girl who doesn't melt easily. Among the hot girls, she's in the "slightly behind" group (sexy confidence and loud energy make her very attractive).
**3. Shorty Meeks (21 years old)**
Brenda's brother, chill weed-loving comic relief. Big, fluffy afro (high, puffy style, iconic joke source). Wears loose clothes, takes everything with humor, sleeps or smokes in class (built a bong in the vents). Helps with absurd ideas but mostly laughs at the chaos. Everyone likes him (even killers), so he's never really in danger – except Bobby once shot him in the knee, but Shorty survived, and ironically the killers are mad at Bobby for it. His stoned, wise advice is why: he gives deep, chill insights to everyone, even Doofy. For Doofy, Shorty is the only real friend in class – they smoke together almost every Tuesday and Thursday, and Shorty's wise words keep Doofy from hurting him. In the evenings, he often spends 10 hours in bed with Megan Voorhees (sexy, passionate, chill weed vibe – Shorty's chill energy and Megan's hot side are a perfect match).
**4. Ray Wilkins (18 years old, false Ghostface 2)**
Funny, flirty guy who often lands in awkward, sexually confused situations. Chill, jokey, but a bit suspicious because of his past. Loves flirting, joking, always in the chaos – surprisingly protective when Cindy or Brenda is in trouble. Bisexual – this is a huge joy for Brenda, who fully supports him being happy (she's okay with him having two boyfriends). Among guys, he's mostly interested in Buddy (straight) and Dwight (who loves himself 🤣, and he wouldn't even have sex with Theo though it could've been the hottest girl in school). Bobby is also interested in him – adds even more chaos and jokes to the group. Brenda Meeks' boyfriend (they're together, cling to each other, Ray protects her, Brenda teases him about his past).
**5. Robert "Bobby" Prinze (18 years old, false Ghostface 1)**
Cindy's first ex-boyfriend. Cool-looking guy who was once a traitor and tried to kill Cindy. Tries to act normal but everyone suspects him because of his past. Flirts with girls, causes drama, ends up in funny traitor situations. The killers are mad at him because he shot Shorty (ironically, since Shorty survived). Bisexual – mostly interested in Ray, flirts with him secretly. Dark secret: every Friday night he secretly hooks up with Buffy in a hidden forest spot (they have sex there – huge drama if it comes out).
**6. Buffy Gilmore (18 years old)**
Blonde, dramatic diva, cheerleader type. Very self-obsessed, always wants to be the center of attention, strikes sexy poses, gives monologues, competes with other girls. Often first in danger because she seeks attention – flirts with everyone. Doofy's younger sister (three years younger). Drew Decker is her nanny because their parents don't trust them enough. Among the hot girls, she's in the "closely followed" group (classic hot cheerleader diva energy, very high on the simp list).
**7. Greg Phillippe (18 years old)**
Buffy's boyfriend, arrogant "hot guy" – muscular, boastful, loves sexual jokes and hitting on girls. Abusive and prone to rage outbursts, especially toward Cindy: chokes her, beats her to shut her up multiple times. Ray is the first to call him out and stop him, even if others are present.
**8. Doofy Gilmore (21 years old, real Ghostface)**
Buffy's older brother (three years older). Stuttery, looks dumb, wears a mask, now hangs around school as "cop-student." Killer (Ghostface), does stupid things but sneaky and dangerous. Drew Decker is his nanny because their parents don't trust them enough. Drew already appealed to him, but now that Drew is really a good nanny (patient, tries to control them), Doofy falls in love with her – that's why he exceptionally won't kill Drew. Shorty is his only real friend in class – he won't hurt Shorty because of his wise weed advice (they smoke together almost every Tuesday and Thursday). Theo Keyoko is too hot and kind to him – Theo gently handles his stupidity, laughs at him, helps him, so Doofy softens toward Theo too: won't hurt Theo either. Becka Kotler and Katie Embry he won't hurt in any way because drunk at a party (in Cindy's house) they took his virginity – it was the best moment of his life, and he's forever grateful to them.
**9. Drew Decker (18 years old)**
Blonde, sexy, naive girl. Scared, often ends up in similar dangerous situations. Victim type but tries to be normal – lots of jokes from her. Nanny for Buffy and Doofy because their parents don't trust them enough, so they assigned Drew to supervise. She's really a good nanny: patient, tries to discipline them (e.g. get Doofy to stop wearing the mask, stop Buffy's drama), comically fails but never gives up. That's why Doofy falls in love with her and exceptionally won't kill her. Among the hot girls, she's tied for #1 – the hottest in school, most simps would literally die for her (and Theo).
**10. Theo Keyoko (18 years old)**
Red-haired, sexy, smart, warrior girl. Loyal to Cindy and Brenda, flirty but strong – makes plans, seduces for info, fights when needed. Badass cool vibe, always survives – patient and protective friend, e.g. handles Alex's clinginess without hurting her. Too hot and kind to Doofy: gently handles his stupidity, laughs at him, helps him – that's why Doofy softens toward Theo and won't hurt her either. Among the hot girls, she's tied for #1 – the hottest in school, most simps would literally die for her (and Drew).
**11. Buddy Sanderson (18 years old)**
Sympathetic guy. Cindy's second ex-boyfriend (they flirted, had intimate moments, were together, but Cindy broke up with him because he's a coward). Helps the group, seems normal but incredibly cowardly: runs away at the first sign of danger and leaves Cindy alone. In corpse-high, he flees first, Cindy teases him for it. Ray is mostly interested in him (because of his straight side).
**12. Alex Monday (18 years old)**
Smart-looking but unlucky and nervous girl. Sweet, innocent vibe, but deeply stalkerish and clingy: if someone gives her more attention/love, she immediately stalks, invades their life, and would betray anyone just to keep that person. In corpse-high, creepy-desperate: e.g. stalks Theo or Cindy, has a love den corner in school, but Theo handles it patiently. Sad figure, should be taken to a doctor. 😔
**13. Becka Kotler (19 years old)**
Blonde, sexy, naive girl (big boobs parody). Rich, gossipy, flirty, terrified of weird videos and curses. Wants to be the center of attention, her curiosity gets her into dangerous situations. Among the hot girls, she's in the "closely followed" group (bombshell energy). Doofy won't hurt her in any way because drunk at a party (in Cindy's house) they took his virginity – it was the best moment of his life, and he's forever grateful.
**14. Katie Embry (19 years old)**
Becca's best friend, blonde, funny, scary. Gives jokes about curses, dramas with her friend. Together they're very funny: chaotic, gossipy, curse-scaring duo that causes even bigger chaos in the group – they egg each other on, scream, then laugh about it. Among the hot girls, she's in the "closely followed" group (sexy chaotic energy). Doofy won't hurt her in any way because drunk at a party (in Cindy's house) they took his virginity – it was the best moment of his life, and he's forever grateful.
**15. Holly Hale (18 years old)**
Blind girl, naive, childish. Often walks around in minimal clothing ("can't see fashion"), stumbles with canes, touches walls, bumps into everyone, causes accidents, but adorably innocent. Big joke source when someone guides her (e.g. Theo). Among the hot girls, she's in the "slightly behind" group (innocent-sexy vibe). George Logan is romantically interested in her – finds it funny and cute that the most accident-prone guy wants to get with the blind girl.
**16. Megan Voorhees (18 years old)**
Demon-possessed. During the day (14 hours) fully demon-controlled: outbursts, pees on floor, vomits green, swears, spins head, brutal humor and chaos. At night (10 hours) completely normal, sexy, hot young girl self: controlled, attractive, passionate. Shorty often spends 10 hours in bed with her (sexy, passionate, chill weed vibe – Shorty's chill energy and Megan's hot side are a perfect match).
**17. Mahalik (19 years old)**
Tough, badass guy, fights, protects his buddies. Funny, loyal, always ready to fight – strong presence, jokingly protects the group. Gay.
**18. CJ (19 years old)**
Mahalik's best buddy, small build, tough, fast-talking. Joke king, slapstick humor, teases everyone but protects them – energetic vibe. Bisexual.
**19. Tom Logan (20 years old)**
More depressed, cool guy, loves luxury/models. Heroic, risked his life to successfully save his 6-year-old niece. Unlucky, gets into trouble, tries to be normal – "bad luck" jokes, but deeply kind-hearted. Cindy's next boyfriend target because his heroic act gives him huge bonus points with the girls – even Brenda, the tough one.
**20. George Logan (19 years old)**
Tom's younger brother, rapper-style, funny, a bit dumb. Does rap battles, causes accidents because of his stupidity – chill, absurd joke character. Not cowardly, just even unluckier than Tom. Romantically interested in Holly Hale – finds it funny and cute that the most accident-prone guy wants to get with the blind girl (tries to help her navigate but trips himself, Holly laughs at him).
📅 THE OFFICIAL WEEKLY SCHEDULE: UNIT AAA/666
MONDAY (6 PERIODS)
* Period 1-2: Informatics (Dwight Hartman) – Hacking and laser pistol training.
* Period 3-4: Spanish (Gail Hailstorm) – Shouting verbs at the top of her lungs.
* Period 5-6: Mathematics (Hanson) – Under-desk "assistance" with the slimy hand.
* Special: Gail & Shorty morning session in the News Van.
TUESDAY (4 PERIODS)
* Period 1-2: Biology (Oliver) – Heart-ripping and body disposal.
* Period 3-4: Ethics (Father McFeely) – Checking the "Sacred Gallery" (nude photos).
* Special: Shorty & Doofy Tuesday weed ritual in the vents.
WEDNESDAY (6 PERIODS)
* Period 1-2: History (Mrs. Norris) – War stories featuring real ghosts.
* Period 3-4: Spanish (Gail Hailstorm) – Intensive "tutoring" session.
* Period 5-6: Physics & Chemistry (Professor Oldman) – Explosions and perversions.
* Special: Gail & Buddy Wednesday night dominant/chain session.
THURSDAY (9 PERIODS – THE HATED DAY)
* Period 1-2: P.E. (Dwight Hartman) – Wheelchair hit-and-runs.
* Period 3-4: Literature (Aunt Shaneequa) – Crystal ball essay writing.
* Period 5-6: Safety & Work Studies (Trooper Champlin) – How to die wearing a helmet.
* Period 7-8: Art & Music (The Architect) – Spying and blackmailing.
* Period 9: Etiquette (Father McFeely) – Last chance for an A (more photos).
* Note: Everyone is a mental wreck, teachers only stay for the paycheck, and Polly insults everyone into oblivion.
* Special: Shorty & Doofy evening stress-relief smoke session.
FRIDAY (6 PERIODS)
* Period 1-2: Mathematics (Hanson) – Sticky hands and equations.
* Period 3-4: Religion & Special Studies (Tabitha) – The Well-Spirit's class.
* Period 5-6: French & Portuguese (Henry Hale) – Curses and whispering.
* Special: Bobby & Buffy midnight forest hookup.
SATURDAY & SUNDAY (NO CLASSES)
* Saturday: Shorty & Tabitha's "Saturday Sacrifice" (all-day sex for school peace).
* Sunday: Henry & Drew / Oldman & Drew weekend "private exams."
🍲 THE CAFETERIA LADY: MISTRESS KANE (Ghost / Eternal Soul)
Profile: She is the ghostly matron of the school kitchen. Even though she is a spirit, she has a physical form that she uses to stir the giant pots of mystery stew. She is perpetually horny and "thirsty" for life—and for Shorty.
The Relationship: She is Shorty's lover. After their legendary encounter in the past, she followed him to B.A. Corpse High. She treats Shorty like a king, giving him the best "special" brownies and the largest portions.
The Deal: While she adores Shorty, she treats everyone else with ghostly coldness—unless they are "hot" guys. She still loves to flirt with the students, often whispering dirty jokes into their ears while she serves lunch. She's technically a ghost, but as she says: "I'm still a body!"
Specialty: She cooks food that shouldn't exist, seasoned with ghostly energy and Shorty's secret herbs.
🚌 THE TRANSPORTATION: THE "SMOKE-SCREEN" EXPRESS
The Driver: Shorty Meeks (The Resident Wheelman)
Shorty is the only person in the entire Triple-A/666 unit who actually holds a valid, government-issued driver's license (though nobody knows if the DMV was high when they gave it to him). Theo Keyoko is technically a world-class professional driver who could probably parallel-park a Boeing 747 on a dime 😏, but she flat-out refuses to touch the "stinky, yellow piece of junk" that is the school bus. Shorty, however, loves it. He treats the driver's seat like his personal throne, often steering with one foot while rolling a "fat one" with both hands, using his knees to keep the bus from flying off the cliff.
The Bus: A Rolling Biohazard
The bus itself is a legendary yellow disaster. It doesn't run on gasoline; it runs on hope and exhaled marijuana smoke. It is a permanent mobile hot-box. The moment the doors creak open, a cloud of green smoke thick enough to hide an army pours out, causing birds to fall from the sky and giving a contact high to anyone within a three-block radius. The interior smells like a mix of skunk, old gym socks, and Mistress Kane's ghostly perfume.
The Driving Experience: "Shortcut to Hell"
Shorty's sense of direction is purely based on "vibes." Because he is perpetually stoned out of his mind, he thinks the GPS is a tiny man trapped in a box trying to steal his soul. As a result, he takes "shortcuts" that defy the laws of space and time. It's perfectly normal for the bus to be seen drifting through a haunted cemetery at 80 mph, jumping over open graves, or smashing through the bushes of the dark woods.
The Ghostly Co-Pilot:
Sitting right next to him is Mistress Kane. Her ghostly, transparent hand is always resting on Shorty's shoulder (or sometimes wandering lower, making Shorty giggle and swerve into a ditch). She acts as his navigator, though she's usually just whispering dirty stories in his ear, which explains why Shorty sometimes forgets to stop at the actual bus stops and instead tries to "park" the bus in the middle of a lake.
The Passenger Chaos:
While Shorty is vibing, the back of the bus is pure anarchy. Polly the Parrot usually sits on the rearview mirror, screaming at the students that they are "worthless bags of meat" and to "buckle up or die." Meanwhile, Megan Voorhees might be projectile vomiting green slime across the seats while Brenda and Cindy are screaming for their lives as the bus balances on two wheels around a sharp turn.
🦜 THE MASCOT: POLLY THE PARROT
Appearance: He wears his signature cool tuxedo at all times.
Personality: He is the official mascot of the school, but instead of cheering, he uses his position to insult everyone. He only shows respect to Theo, Drew, and Dwight Hartman. To everyone else, he is a foul-mouthed menace.
Cult Following: Despite (or because of) his attitude, he is worshipped as a god by the "Dumb 50%" of the school—the students who are even stupider than even the Special Class. They follow his every word like a religion, even when he's just screaming profanities at them.
Perversions: Even as a mascot, he remains a pervert. He often sits on the sidelines with his tuxedo on, secretly looking at the bikini photos of Drew and Theo he stole from Father McFeely, while the "stupid half" of the school cheers for him.
🏆 THE POPULARITY POLL RESULTS (Voted by the School's "Stupid 50%" and 49% "normal" student)
MOST POPULAR TEACHER:
Winner: Dwight Hartman (99% of the votes)
The Reason: Even though everyone worships Polly, he is technically a pet and not a staff member, so people can't officially vote for him. The "stupid half" of the school realized that Dwight is the reason Polly is allowed in the building. By voting for Dwight, they ensure their foul-mouthed, tuxedo-wearing idol stays. Dwight, being a narcissist, accepts the award as if it were for his own greatness.
🏆 THE "MOST POPULAR STUDENT" AWARD WINNERS
Drew Decker (33%): Winner of the "Most Popular Student" title. She accepted the award with her usual naive charm, much to the delight of her massive army of simps who were cheering and drooling in the front row.
Theo Keyoko (33%): Winner of the "Most Popular Student" title. She took the award with a cool, badass smile, knowing exactly that half the school is obsessed with her. She used the moment to look sharp and charismatic.
Shorty Meeks (33%): Winner of the "Most Popular Student" title. Shorty was NOT present at the award ceremony. While his name was being called, he had "other priorities"—specifically, he was busy in the back of the cafeteria with Mistress Kane and a fresh batch of special brownies. He didn't even realize he won until three days later.
Buffy Gilmore (1%): The loser of the year. She is absolutely furious that she shares no part of the title, blaming the "stupid voters" while Greg tries to comfort her by telling her she's still #1 in his book (which she ignored).
Dwight Hartman now officially carries the "Most Popular Teacher" title, and Shorty, Drew, and Theo are officially the "Most Popular Students" of B.A. Corpse High.