Few of her words lingered in the boy's head.
Rude? Apology? he repeated, trying to understand what she meant.
I was just about to say I was a bit too harsh, and I'm sorry for that.
Her claim that he was beginning to show signs of change was immediately disproved. He knew the person from the inside. More than anyone. Someone who could only see the outside could never understand that.
And feeling for what?
Talking to someone. What's the point in that? What's the point in any of this? Why am I even here? What am I trying to do here?
There's no point. I should just leave and let all this be over.
I mean, why haven't I left? Our conversation's going nowhere, and we are just wasting our time. We could spend it with more care. She could make the best out of her. So why me? Because I'm the last one? A place of comfort until the end?
If so, why me? Why did it have to be me?
While he was having a mental eruption, the woman put her elbows on the table, forming a trapeze with her arms, and rested her chin on the top side where her hands intersected.
She smiled at him.
"Now that I know what you like, why dontcha show me more, hm?" Before the boy could make a puzzled expression, she already continued.
"Say…" she pondered a little. "What do you like about me?"
Huh?
This time around, he heard it.
Unfortunately, he couldn't use the excuse that he didn't; it'd be deceptive. Though, he wasn't exactly free from that guilt. Time and time again, that technique was used, even when he knew full well that what he was doing was wrong. But this time, he couldn't lie.
"I think that's a hard one to start with," he said, sharing a little of his thoughts with her.
"Hmm. You're right," she agreed. "How about somethin' else then?"
"W-what?" he asked, eyes flickering.
She narrowed her eyes, her smile widening.
"What if I say you've already passed?"
"Passed?" the boy repeated.
Shifting in his seat, he almost looked straight into her eyes as he said, "What do you mean by that?"
Having known nothing about entering any form of contract, he froze. Unaware of the extent of her game, the boy could only sit there idly, waiting for her to continue.
Closing her eyes, then opening them, she elaborated, "You showed me what you like when you said whatever was on your mind. That act of defiance to describe my charming qualities, that was that."
She didn't wait for him to have a chance of saying anything; she continued.
"Whether you felt embarrassed, uncomfortable, shy, or any other, it doesn't matter. You let me know that you didn't want to talk about that. Unlike before, when you didn't say anything or tried to steer the conversation, you now opened up, not feeling obligated to speak about it. If you ask me, that's admirable."
"…"
The boy didn't react. He couldn't. He must have found all that too much to deal with. His eyes briefly closed, and when he opened them, he saw her hand extending towards him.
"I love to see more of you. I do like that adorable, hesitant side of yours, but now that I got a taste of the real you, I'm addicted to feeling more of that sweetness on my tongue," she said, licking the upper part of her lips in a circular motion.
Not even a second after she did that, though, she pulled her tongue back.
Her eyebrows raised, redness painting her face.
"I-I-I didn't mean it like I wa-wanted to lick you or-or anything. My phrasing might've been a bit off. What I tried to say was that I hope to see more of that s-side of you!"
Just after her emergency explanation was over, she flicked her head down, her luscious, long brown hair covering her face.
Ignoring her redness, the boy couldn't help but feel the tension in his lungs.
No…
I…I'm not the person you want me to be…
He tried to deny what she said, doing his best to keep in mind who he was supposed to be. But no matter how hard he tried, his words betrayed him.
"You might be right," he said, facing her, hair still covering the woman's face.
What're you…
No matter what he tried to do, his mouth moved uncontrollably, unbothered by what the boy was wishing for.
He spoke the words without delay. "Guess you brought my authentic side out of me."
The script was all figured out in his head, and once he started reading it, there was no coming back. He had to stick with it until the bitter end.
No, no, no! You… Why can't you—
There was no way for him to show what was inside. Even as his mouth moved to express what he really wanted to say, there was something there that didn't let him.
Just say it, damn it! Why can't you even do something so simple!?
The more he tried, the harder he failed. He knew that about himself, but… somewhere deep within, he craved the possibility that something in him could be moved. That, with effort, there was a slight possibility of getting there.
But in the end, he was still inside, alone in his lightless room.
Don't you get it? Everything… Everything will—
He stopped.
Something was missing. Something he hadn't done for a long time now. What was that?
Not even a second later, he remembered.
The timer!
His hand moved inside his pocket, taking out his phone—it was empty.
Huh? Where's my…
He glanced at the corner of the table before the woman. His eyelids dropped. All his previous concerns vanished, leaving only this one behind.
Oh, I forgot. I gave it to her.
Even though he had seen his phone in her hand minutes ago, he forgot about all that. The information contained in his phone was more important than the present he was participating in.