Chapter 153: The Williamsburg Diner Post-Mortem Meeting
Before Eleanor Harrington left, she and Ethan exchanged contact information.
After that, the clinic returned to normal.
Patients.
Consultations.
Treatments.
Everything moved according to the familiar rhythm Ethan had settled into.
Finally, the workday ended.
Standing outside the clinic, Ethan hesitated for a moment before deciding he wasn't going home tonight.
Last Friday had been poker night.
The entire weekend had disappeared into gaming.
And now it was Monday.
He needed to go see Max.
When Ethan walked into the Williamsburg Diner, Max was standing behind the register.
"Earl, can you break this twenty?"
She slapped a twenty-dollar bill onto the counter and rolled her eyes.
"Table Two—those rich idiots. Three people insisted on splitting an eleven-dollar bill."
She shook her head.
"Why? Only one of them actually ate anything."
Earl slowly counted out the change.
"I've been in a threesome before," he said thoughtfully.
"Same situation."
Max looked genuinely surprised.
"Huh. I've never tried that."
She grinned.
"Next time Caroline interrupts my fun, I'll just invite her to join."
The moment Ethan stepped through the door, he happened to catch that exact sentence.
"...Uh."
He stared at her for two seconds.
Then decided retaliation was appropriate.
"You know, you only ever talk about it."
"What?!" Max exploded immediately.
"Just wait! I'll go get Caroline right now!"
Ethan reacted instantly, grabbing her arm before she could move.
"Okay, okay. You win."
He changed the subject.
"Max, get me two of your cupcakes."
Max straightened up proudly, her smile instantly turning mischievous.
"Which two?"
Of course.
Max simply couldn't survive without making everything sound dirty.
Ethan sighed.
"You pick."
Just then, Han walked over.
"Max, Table Ten wants the check."
"And don't forget the customer feedback cards."
He pointed dramatically.
"The customer is God."
"Profits flow from God."
"Then God can keep His opinions to Himself," Max replied without missing a beat.
"The most important person I know is this doctor right here."
She pointed at Ethan.
"And he's never complained about me once."
"Max," Han said seriously, "customer feedback forms are an essential business tool."
"Maybe it's time our sarcastic waitress improved her attitude."
Max smirked.
"The only tool capable of improving my attitude involves two batteries and a magic wand."
Halfway to a booth, Ethan suddenly froze.
Then slowly turned around.
Max caught the look instantly.
"What?"
Her eyes narrowed.
"How long has it been since you came to see me?"
Ethan felt an unexpected twinge of guilt.
Because...
...it actually had been a while.
Recently it had been poker, gaming, and far too much staying indoors.
By the time Max and Caroline finally got off work, Ethan thought he was about to spend the evening making it up to Max.
Unfortunately, Han had other plans.
As the owner, he had decided it was time to hold the diner's first official customer-feedback review meeting.
Dear God.
A meeting.
After work.
The worst possible combination.
Judging by everyone's expressions, Ethan wasn't alone in that opinion.
"Welcome, everyone," Han announced with excessive seriousness.
"Thank you all for attending the Williamsburg Diner's first official staff meeting."
"Tonight we have not only our employees present—"
He gestured grandly toward Ethan.
"—but also a real doctor."
Ethan immediately rubbed his forehead.
This is already a disaster.
"Not cool," Earl complained first.
"After eleven o'clock is Earl Time."
Max promptly placed a bottle of brandy and several glasses in front of him.
"Earl, your brandy."
"Excellent."
Earl nodded approvingly.
"I no longer have any objections."
Oleg looked deeply offended by the entire situation.
"If I'd known there'd be meetings after work, I'd have taken a job at one of those pretentious Friday's restaurants."
He glanced at Max and Caroline.
"Those places move fast."
"Work fast."
"Sleep together fast."
Han folded his arms stubbornly.
"This is how we do things here."
Max tilted her head.
"How exactly?"
"Short and clueless?"
"No," Han replied immediately.
"I'm Cool Han now."
"The Tokyo Drift version."
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Ethan couldn't help yawning.
"Han," Caroline said, "my attention is drifting, too."
"Get to the point."
She pointed toward Max.
"We still have to go home and bake tomorrow's cupcakes."
Caroline paused, then glanced at Ethan sitting beside them.
"And besides, Max has her nightly quest waiting for her."
"Alright, let's begin." Han pulled out a stack of comment cards.
"We've received a lot of valuable customer feedback."
He picked up the first card.
"Comment number one—"
'The brunette waitress...'
Max immediately raised her hand.
"That's me! That's me!"
Han continued reading.
'...is extremely rude.'
Max raised her hand again and flashed a victory sign.
"Oh yeah!"
"Max," Han said patiently, "this is genuine customer feedback. We need to take it seriously."
"Comment number two—"
'I like the brunette waitress.'
"YEAH!" Max pumped her fist.
Caroline looked at Ethan suspiciously.
"You wrote that one, didn't you?"
"A lot of people like me, okay?" Max protested.
"Even more people like my cupcakes."
Han glanced at Ethan, then shook his head.
"Next comment."
'I would like to spend three hundred rounds in bed with the blonde waitress.'
"Whoa!" Caroline immediately raised her hand.
"That one's about me."
Max pointed straight at Ethan.
"That one was definitely written by him."
"Next," Han continued.
'Why is the cashier wearing headphones? For a moment I thought he was the DJ.'
The entire room erupted.
"Way to go, Earl!"
Earl high-fived Max.
"Perfect."
"Next comment..." Han's expression became slightly awkward.
'The beef rolls are dry and taste stale.'
The room exploded again.
"Nice work, Oleg!"
"Furthermore," Han continued reading, "the customer suggests that the chef consider wearing deodorant and clothing with sleeves to help contain the smell."
Oleg slowly turned toward him.
"Did they actually write that?"
Han's eyes shifted away.
"...Yes."
"You're lying."
"...Okay, they didn't."
Max leaned toward Earl and Caroline and whispered:
"If Han ever became a spy, he'd survive maybe three minutes."
"And he'd probably get eliminated by his own side."
Oleg's expression darkened.
"So that's what this is?"
"You've got a problem with me, and you're hiding behind some comment cards?"
"What else am I supposed to do?" Han shot back.
"Post a selfie on Twitter while pinching my nose?"
"Can you two continue this after the meeting?" Max said, grabbing her purse and standing up.
"I need to get home."
She pointed toward Ethan.
"There's an important person waiting for me."
Oleg stood up as well.
"I need to go home too."
"To cut the sleeves off every shirt I own."
"Then buy new shirts."
"And cut those sleeves off too."
"You are required to wear sleeves at work," Han reminded him.
Oleg snorted.
"I'll wear whatever the hell I want."
"When I started working here, kid—"
He jabbed a finger at Han.
"—you were still swimming around in your father's testicles."