Chapter 93: The Life of a Prince, Part ISummary:Hazel practices voyeurism.
Notes:(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter TextShe fell headfirst into sunlight, and her feet landed on solid ground. She found herself on a nearly deserted playground, with a single towering smokestack dominating the distant skyline; the scene emanated poverty, and she found herself turning up her nose.
Three people were in the scene, two girls and a boy. The girls were swinging back and forth, while the boy spied on them from behind a shabby bush; he looked like a twee little bat with his overgrown hair, too-small jeans, overlarge coat, and funny gray smock of a shirt. It was Snape, she could tell from his features even if the batlike demeanor wasn't a dead giveaway; he was watching the girls with naked greed in his face.
Hazel lurked over his shoulder, watching the girls too. One of them was swinging higher and higher, to the shrieking dismay of the other one. "Lily, don't do it!"
Lily? That was her mum, Hazel realized with a start. Lily's long red hair was swaying with the movement of the swing, her neat little skirt flapping. So the other girl was Petunia, shrewish and mean even at this age.
Lily wasn't listening; she was swinging higher and higher, then let go at the very apex of the swing's arc, literally flying through the air for a few precarious moments instead of crashing back to earth, shrieking with laughter the whole time until she landed far too lightly.
Petunia dragged her sandals in the asphalt to stop her own momentum, then leaped up from the swing, hands on her hips. "I'm telling Mummy! She said you weren't allowed!"
Lily just shrugged, unrepentant. "Go boil your head, Tuney, I'm fine. Now come here!" She strode toward the bush Snape was hiding behind; Petunia peered anxiously around the playground (still deserted save for them) and followed warily.
Lily had plucked a dying flower from the bush, rejuvenated it with a touch, and was making its blossoms open and close. Petunia shrieked again. "STOP IT!"
Lily heaved an exaggerated sigh. "It's not hurting you, you ninny." But she tossed the flower aside anyway. "You're such a coward, Tuney."
"It's not right!" For a second Petunia stood there, quivering with indignation, every inch the older sister. Then curiosity overcame disgust. "...how are you doing these things?"
Snape finally lost his composure and burst from hiding. "It's obvious, isn't it?" Petunia shrieked a third time and dashed for the swings, but Lily stood her ground, though she was also startled. Snape quivered under her scrutiny, a dull flush mounting his sallow cheeks.
Lily narrowed her eyes. "What's obvious?"
Snape grew excited. "You don't know?" He glanced at Petunia, and stepped closer to speak in a low voice. "I know what you are."
"You don't know anything about me, you boffin."
"No! You- you're a witch!"
Hazel bit back a laugh, even though they couldn't see her. Lily was far from impressed. "How dare you!" She turned her nose up at Snape and marched back toward her sister.
"No! Wait!" Snape blundered after them, looking more batlike than ever; Hazel wondered why he still wore that heavy coat. Was he ashamed of the rest of his clothes? The flush in his cheeks was deeper than ever as he quivered beneath their disapproval. "You are a witch! You are! I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that! My mum's one, and I'm a wizard!"
Petunia, now recovered from her scare, barked derisive laughter, reminiscent of her older self. "Wizard! Don't listen to him, Lily, he's that Snape boy. You know, from Spinner's End?" She considered this address a poor recommendation, clearly. "Why've you been spying on us, boy?"
"Wasn't spying on you, you filthy Muggle." Snape spat at Petunia's feet.
Petunia knew an insult when she heard one, and shoved Snape to the ground before marching for the gate. "Come on Lily! We're leaving!" Lily hesitated, a complicated expression on her face, before schooling her features into a glare and following her sister.
Snape stood there for a moment, bereft of purpose, before turning and sulking off the other direction. Clearly he had been planning this moment for a while, and it had gone wrong.
The scene dissolved and reformed, and now Hazel found herself in a thicket of trees, a small river glinting just beyond the circle of cool green shade. Two kids were cross-legged on the ground, facing each other. Snape and Lily, again. Snape was speaking:
"...and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."
Lily's eyes went wide. "But I've done magic outside school!"
He gave an important little nod. "We're alright. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven, and they start training you, then you've got to be careful."
Lily went quiet, fiddling with a fallen twig; Hazel thought she was imagining the twig shooting sparks or fire or whatever. Then she dropped it and leaned in closer. "It isreal, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. But it's really real?"
Snape put on what he thought was a suave smirk, but to Hazel he just looked constipated. "Would I lie to you, Lily Evans?"
She shrugged and looked away. "It just… it all sounds so fantastic! Castles and owls and magic and things!"
"It's real for us. Not for her, but for us."
"And we'll get letters and everything? By owl?"
The boy hesitated. "Well, mine'll come by owl. But you're Muggleborn, so someone'll come and explain in person, to your parents."
"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"
Snape hesitated again. His black eyes, eager in the greenish gloom, moved over the pale face, the dark red hair. "No, it doesn't make any difference."
"Oh good, I was worried." She didn't seem worried anymore; she stretched out on her back and gazed up at the leafy ceiling above them. She didn't see the greedy expression on Snape's face as he watched her.
"You've got loads of magic, I saw that. All the time I was watching you."
Lily shifted uncomfortably, and Snape looked away with a frown before she saw his face. She spoke into the pause. "How're things at home?"
His frown deepened; he didn't want to talk about home. He was suddenly evasive, where before he had been so confident and all-knowing. "Fine, I guess."
"Don't lie to me, Severus!" Lily sat up very quickly and was suddenly in his face. "You know I hate it when you lie to me! They're still fighting, aren't they? Your parents?"
Snape gave a frightened yipe and blundered backward, tripping over his coat. "Of course they're fighting! They're always fighting! Cripes, Lily!"
"Mums and dads aren't supposed to always fight, Severus!"
"Well, mine do!"
The crack of a twig cut them both off; Hazel was startled too, to realize Petunia had been lurking behind a tree on the edge of the thicket. Snape, eager for any distraction, scrambled to his feet and gave a victorious howl. "Who's spying now, then?! Who's spying now?!"
"Don't get mad at me for being worried about my sister!" Petunia marched into the little clearing, bold as brass. "What's that you're wearing, your mum's old blouse?"
"Tuney! Don't be mean, he's my friend!"
"He's not your friend, he's a lying little-!"
A crack from the trees above cut them off, and Petunia dove to one side on reflex; a heavy branch had snapped off from the tree over her head, crashing to the ground where she'd been just a second ago. She burst into tears and fled the scene.
Furious and terrified, Lily rounded on Snape. "You did that, didn't you?!"
"No! 'Course not!" He looked both defiant and scared.
"You did!" She was backing away from him. "You did! You tried to hurt her!"
"No! Lily, I didn't do it!"
But she didn't believe him. She spat at his feet and ran off after her sister, leaving Snape standing there, miserable and confused.
The scene dissolved again, and a new memory formed. This time they were on Platform 9¾, and Snape stood beside her, slightly hunched and batlike as ever, next to his mum, a thin, sallow-faced, sour-looking woman who greatly resembled him. Snape was staring at a family of four a short distance away; they were the Evanses. Lily seemed to be pleading with her sister. Hazel had never seen her grandparents, so she moved closer to see better.
Lily and Petunia were having an argument, right there in public while their parents gawked at everything around them. Apparently Petunia had tried writing to Hogwarts to get an acceptance letter, and Dumbledore had written back, but Lily and Snape had broken into her things to read it. It sounded rather magnanimous to Hazel, and she focused on Mr and Mrs Evans instead; they were both rather plain, like Petunia, and she couldn't see how Lily had been their child at all.
Maybe Lily had been adopted?
Behind her the sisterly argument erupted. Petunia called Lily a freak over and over and flounced away, leaving Lily looking forlorn.
The scene shifted again. Now Snape was hurrying through the Hogwarts Express, already changed into his school robes. She couldn't blame him, if she'd been dressed like he'd been, she would have changed at the earliest chance too. He was checking compartments as he went; probably looking for Lily, she guessed as she hurried in his wake. Finally he reached one, full of rowdy boys with Lily in the corner, making herself small.
Snape shoved his way inside, stashed his trunk, and sat down across from Lily. She shot him a glare and went back to staring out the window; Hazel saw she'd been crying. "I don't wanna talk to you."
"Why not?"
"Tuney h-hates me! She found out we'd been peeking at her mail!"
Snape apparently chose to be obtuse. "So?"
"So she's my sister!"
"Come on, she's just a-" He cut himself off; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, didn't catch it. After a moment he pushed ahead, letting the exuberance of the moment carry him forward. "Whatever, we're finally going! This is it, we're off to Hogwarts!"
"Yeah…" Lily sniffled one more time and gave him a wet sort of smile. "Hogwarts!"
He smiled back, encouraged by her reply. "You'll ask for Slytherin, right? Like we discussed?"
"Slytherin?" One of the boys sharing the compartment, who had shown no interest at all in Lily or Snape until that point, looked around at the word; Hazel was startled to see her father, James Potter, looking quite well-fed and arrogant despite being slight and dark-haired like Snape. He sneered at the two of them, then turned to his companion. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"
The other boy looked morose, and Hazel recognized Sirius, her future godfather. He heaved a sigh. "My whole family has been in Slytherin."
James scoffed. "Blimey, and here I thought you seemed alright!"
Sirius grinned. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where're you heading, if you've got the choice?"
James lifted an invisible sword. "'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."
Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him. "Got a problem with that?"
Snape sneered back. " Not at all, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy-"
Sirius cut him off. "Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?"
James roared with laughter. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from James to Sirius in dislike. "Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."
"Yeah, come on, Snivellus!" Sirius imitated her lofty voice; James tried to trip Snape as he passed. The door slammed, and the scene dissolved once more.
Next they were in the Great Hall, and Hazel was right behind Snape again. The Sorting, she realized. Four candlelit House tables were arrayed in their usual spots, a sea of rapt faces looking toward the head of the Hall. McGonagall had her scroll of names and was reading off it. "Evans, Lily!"
"Come on, get Slytherin…" That was Snape, clearly praying for a familiar face in what he seemed sure would be his destined house. He watched helplessly as Lily crossed to the familiar stool on trembling knees and sat down heavily upon it.
But he did not get his wish. The Hat fell down around Lily's eyes; Hazel thought she could see her arguing with it soundlessly for a few moments, but it declared Gryffindor in a ringing voice anyway.
Hazel heard Snape swearing under his breath as Lily handed the Hat back to McGonagall, as her colorless robes filled out with red and gold, as she hurried toward the cheering lions. She glanced back once at Snape with a sad smile, but once she saw Sirius making room for her, her smile vanished and she found a seat farther down the table.
The Sorting continued. Lupin, looking exhausted and ill even at this age, was sent to Gryffindor after about twenty seconds. Pettigrew (Wormtail, her mind insisted) argued with the Hat for almost five minutes before it finally sent him to Gryffindor too, and that made Hazel wonder if Lily had really argued so hard for Slytherin.
James, of course, was sent to the lions almost before the Hat even touched his brow. It reminded Hazel of Draco's sorting.
Finally, when there were only a dozen or so students left (a lot more than in her own year, Hazel reflected), Snape's name was called. He trudged to the stool like it was a gallows, and as he sat down, his beady eyes were locked on Lily, so bright with the other Gryffindors.
The Hat fell over his eyes. To her surprise, Hazel heard the Hat's voice like it was in her own ear. Of course she would; this was Snape's memory, after all.
Hmm, well, this is quite straightforward, isn't it?
Snape grit his teeth. No, not there. Gryffindor, please.
Absolutely not, dear boy. You'd stand out like a goat among pigeons. You wouldn't last a week.
I don't care! Isn't it brave to want to give up what's yours if it means getting what you need?
Bravery and foolishness are Gryffindor qualities, my boy. You are certainly brave, but not the kind of bravery old Godric favored. No, yours is more like ambition. You wouldn't fit well in Ravenclaw either, you seek knowledge as a means to an end, not for its own sake. And your loyalty is to one person above all others; you wouldn't do well in Hufflepuff either.
Put me in Gryffindor or I'll rip you to shreds and burn the shreds to ash!
The Hat just chuckled quietly. Greater wizards than you have threatened me, boy, and I am not so easily destroyed. Maybe one day you could earn a place in Gryffindor, but I sort for what is, not what may be. And you… you are cunning, ambitious, and secretive. You have already dabbled in the Dark Arts. Your place in Hogwarts is clear.
Hazel saw Snape deflating in real time. Please…
Chin up. I know this may seem harsh, but one day you'll thank me. Now, step forth with that bold step and take your place in- "SLYTHERIN!"
The last word was shouted out loud, just like it had with Hazel. Snape threw the Hat to the ground and stormed toward the green and silver table, his robes already coloring to match; he sat with the cheering and laughing Slytherins, and Lucius Malfoy, wearing a brand new prefect's badge, patted him gravely on the shoulder.
Up front, McGonagall picked up the Hat in Snape's wake, dusted it off, and called the next student. Her cool demeanor told Hazel that wasn't the first time a student had been displeased with the Hat's decision.
Notes:Some dialogue and description was taken straight from the books with minor tweaking.
Chapter 94: The Life of a Prince, Part IISummary:Hazel continues being a voyeuse.
Chapter TextThe scene shifted again, and Hazel found herself in another of Hogwarts' many courtyards. Snape and Lily were hurrying across, and she hustled to keep up. Both of them were much taller; Lily's body had filled out in a way Hazel tried not to notice, even though she wasn't really there, and Snape was still thin and had become gangling.
He was looking down at her. "I thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?"
Lily scoffed and leaned against a pillar. "We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with! I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Seriously, Mulciber? What do you see in him, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?"
Severus rolled his eyes. "Come on, it was just a prank, and you know it."
"Prank?! It was Dark Magic! If you think that's funny then-"
"I didn't say that! Besides, what about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to? Dangling Jinxes, flipping girls' skirts, stealing knickers!"
Lily scoffed. "Those are just pranks. Besides, we're not talking about them, we're talking about you and your shite new pals!"
"It's sexual harassment is what it is!"
Hazel bit her lip, trying to remember her parents' advice not to judge them too harshly, that she hadn't shown the best judgment herself up til now. But it was hard, faced with first-hand evidence.
Snape was still talking. "But listen, they sneak out at night, I know they do! And there's something weird about Lupin, where's he always off to?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "Not this again! He's ill, they say he's ill-"
"Every month at the full moon?"
Lily's voice grew cold. "I know your theory, and there's no proof whatsoever. Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"
"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."
The intensity of his gaze made her blush. She dropped her voice. "They don't use Dark Magic, though. And you're being really ungrateful, I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and Potter saved you from whatever's down there-"
Snape's whole face contorted, and he spluttered. "Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to- I won't let you-!"
"Let me?" Lily's bright green eyes were suddenly slits. "You don't let me anything, Sev!"
Snape backtracked at once. "I didn't mean- I just don't want to see you made a fool of! He fancies you, Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not the big hero everyone thinks he is even if he can charm his way out of trouble!" Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him quite loud, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.
Lily finally cut him off. "I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag, I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil,Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them!"
Hazel doubted that Snape had even heard her denouncing Avery and Mulciber. The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in his step.
The scene shifted again.
Hazel knew where they were; this was the Great Hall in its exam configuration, with several desks in neat rows. And there behind her was Snape, looking stringy and pallid as always, nose to the Defense OWL parchment; he had written at least a foot more than his closest neighbors, and his writing was small and cramped.
"Five more minutes!"
The voice belonged to an adult. Hazel looked up and saw Professor Tofty walking down the aisle three rows over, looking marginally less bald than when she had seen him in person. Her eye was caught by a familiar mop of untidy black hair, the same mop she saw in her own mirror every morning (hers was half burnt away, though). She walked straight towards the boy, passing through desks and students alike.
Sure enough, there he sat. James Potter. She had seen his face before, but here, they were close enough in age that she could see the similarities better. If her hair was shorter, and intact, she felt like they would match exactly; his eyes were hazel, which made her giggle, but the shape was similar to hers, and the cheekbones, though she suspected she had Lily's mouth and lips. And where Lily was willowy and extremely curvaceous, Hazel had inherited James' athletic build beneath her own generous curves, though that was due as much to a rigorous physical regimen as to any genetic factor.
James yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been. Then, with a glance toward Professor Tofty, he turned in his seat and grinned at a boy sitting four seats behind him. It was Sirius, of course, lounging back at his ease, throwing James a wink and a thumbs-up; his dark hair flowed about with a casual elegance James's hair could never hope to match. Hazel supposed he was good looking for a boy, though a far cry from the gaunt appearance he would sport in his adulthood; a girl sitting behind him had that doe-eyed look of hopefulness Hazel was used to seeing aimed at her, though Sirius acted like he hadn't noticed.
She was certain he had, or else he wouldn't be posing quite so hard solely for James' benefit.
Or maybe he was? Who was she to judge what boys did in their own dorms to keep loneliness away?
She dismissed that train of thought before it could make her queasy and glanced around again. There was Remus, pale and peaky as always; she wondered if the full moon was looming. He was absorbed in his exam, rereading answers, scratching his chin with a frown. He sported a prefect's badge on his robes, though it looked rather shabby to her.
So that meant Wormtail had to be around here somewhere too. She looked around again, and sure enough, she spotted him within seconds: a small, mousy-haired boy with a pointed nose. He looked anxious; he was chewing his fingernails, staring down at his paper, scuffing the ground with his toes. Every now and then he glanced hopefully at his neighbor's paper. Hazel stared at him for a moment, then back at James, who was now doodling on a bit of scrap parchment. He had drawn a Snitch and was now tracing the letters L. E.. Hazel assumed they stood for Lily Evans.
At the front of the aisles, Tofty was holding his wand aloft. "Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchments! Accio parchments!"
More than a hundred exam papers winged through the air, rolling themselves up into neat scrolls as they went and piling tidily up on the staff table next to him. "Very well, everyone, you're all free to go!"
James was quick to shove his quill and spare parchment out of sight and get to his feet, where he hitched his bag onto his shoulder and made for the door, where he waited for the others to catch up.
Hazel looked around again and glimpsed Snape a short way away, moving between the tables toward the doors as well, still absorbed in his own examination paper. Round-shouldered yet angular, he walked in a twitchy manner that recalled a spider, his stringy hair swinging about his face; she really couldn't stop herself from thinking unkind things, he was a far cry from his adult self.
Maybe one day she'd look back on her own memories and think unkind things about her own teenage self. And wouldn't that just serve her right?
She shook her head; no use getting lost in her own thoughts, she was supposed to be getting lost in Snape's. She pushed ahead, wondering what the limit of Pensieve recollection was; she wanted to eavesdrop on the Marauders, not hang back with Snape while he was just ambling along. Fortunately they seemed to be going the same way for now, and by hovering sort of in the middle, she could keep the other boys in earshot.
They were just emerging into the entrance hall, and Sirius was loud and proud, as ever. "Did you like question ten, Moony?"
Lupin chuckled briskly. "Loved it. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."
James affected an air of mock concern. "D'you think you managed to get all the signs?"
"Think I did. One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin."
James and Sirius laughed as they joined the throng gathering to pass out into the sunlit grounds. Wormtail didn't laugh, he just hovered anxiously instead. "I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail, but I couldn't think what else-"
"Merlin, you're thick." James cut him off by ruffling his untidy hair. "As if you don't live with one."
"Keep your voices down!" That was Lupin, of course, anxious about being overheard, but no one had listened.
Hazel glanced behind her, worried about what might happen if Snape angled off in another direction, but he stayed on the same track, still lost in his papers, probably just aimlessly following the crowd. She was able to keep up with the others still.
James and Sirius were still bragging about their exam performance as they all settled down in the shade of the same beech tree Hazel liked to lounge beneath with her friends. Sirius made a show of tossing his hair, one eye on a group of girls closer to the lake. "Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake, I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."
James laughed. "Yeah, me too. If that was our OWLs, imagine our NEWTs in two years." He fished a Snitch from his pocket and started toying with it, letting it flutter freely before snatching it from the air with superb reflexes. Wormtail was about to piss himself from hero worship.
Snape settled himself beneath a bush not far from the four of them, as deeply immersed in his OWL things as ever, leaving Hazel free to hover and eavesdrop.
The sunlight was dazzling on the smooth surface of the lake, on the bank of which the group of laughing girls who had just left the Great Hall were sitting with shoes and socks off, cooling their feet in the water.
Lupin had pulled out a book and was reading. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored, but very handsomely so. James was still playing with the Snitch, letting it zoom farther and farther away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last second. Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, Hazel wondered why James didn't tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. She noticed her father had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to make sure it didn't get too tidy, and also that he kept looking over at the girls by the water's edge.
Which, like, fair. Those were some pretty girls over there.
Finally, after James made an especially skillful catch and Wormtail cheered loudly, Sirius rolled his eyes. "Put that away before Wormtail wets himself, will you?"
James rolled his eyes, ignoring the way Wormtail went pink. "Fine, Padfoot, if you insist." The way he spoke made it clear Sirius was the only one he'd stop showing off for.
Sirius grinned back, then flopped onto his belly. "I'm bored! Wish it was the full moon."
Lupin repressed a chuckle and held out his book. "You would, wouldn't you? We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here."
Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."
James was about to say something else, until he looked up and cut himself off."This'll liven you up, Padfoot, look who it is."
Sirius's head turned. He had become very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit. "Excellent. Snivellus."
Hazel turned to see what Sirius was looking at.
Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he emerged from the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up too. Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting; Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows. Wormtail was looking from Sirius and James to Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.
James drew his wand. "All right, Snivellus?"
Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack; dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air, but James beat him to it. "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter and pointed his own wand at Snape. "Impedimenta!" Snape was knocked off his feet, halfway through a dive toward his own fallen wand.
Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them had gotten to their feet and were edging nearer to see better. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained. Snape lay panting on the ground as James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went. Wormtail was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Lupin to get a clearer view.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"
Sirius barked a quick, vicious laugh. "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment the whole time. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word." Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular. Wormtail snickered shrilly. Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.
Hazel wondered why Lupin wasn't doing anything, wasn't he a prefect? But no, his nose was buried more firmly in his Transfiguration text than ever.
Snape stared up at James with a look of purest loathing. "So much for Gryffindor honor, I see. Takes two of you to ambush me? Fight like the man you pretend to be, Potter!"
James scowled. "Wash out your mouth! Scourgify!"
Pink soap bubbles immediately flooded Snape's mouth, and he coughed and choked; Hazel winced, remembering being on the business end of that spell from Molly's wand.
"Leave him ALONE!"
James and Sirius looked around. James's free hand jumped to his hair again.
It was Lily, one of the girls who'd been loitering by the lake. She had her wand out and her prefect badge on, her dark red hair gleaming in the sunlight, her green eyes flashing angrily as she wordlessly threw the counterjinx at Snape; the soap bubbles disappeared, though he coughed a bit more as he reached for his wand.
"All right, Evans?" The tone of James' voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.
Lily was looking at him with every sign of great dislike. "Leave him alone. What's he done to you?"
"Oh come on, you know how it is. He just… exists, you know?" Sirius and Wormtail laughed, and the other students gathered laughed too. Lupin wasn't laughing, though.
Lily just narrowed her eyes. "Ten points from Gryffindor for all of you, and another ten from you, Remus, for derelicting your duty."
James looked flabbergasted. "That's fifty points! Over this useless little scab?"
Lily stood firm. "You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. For the last time: leave him alone."
Sirius, apparently catching on, pushed James' arm down. "C'mon, mate, let's get out of here before- OI!"
Snape was back on his feet and sending a cutting jinx at James' face. James whirled around to retaliate, but Snape countered his spell and sent another one; the crowd screamed and dove for cover, save Sirius who snarled and stood at James' side.
For a few seconds Snape held his own against the two of them, deflecting spells and responding with his own jets of light; Sirius caught a leg-breaker curse and fell to his knees with a cry, and that was when Lily stepped in again. "ENOUGH!" A wall of force disarmed all three duelists and sent them flying apart. "Twenty points from Slytherin and forty from Gryffindor for illegal dueling! Any more of your bullshit and it's detention!"
James was cowed at last, too busy fixing Sirius to complain, though he glared at Snape with such undiluted hatred, Hazel was surprised he didn't burst into flames right there. After a few moments, Lily put her wand away and walked over to Snape. "Come on, let's get out of here."
Snape stared at her hand, and started reaching out, but a stinging jinx came from nowhere; Lily recoiled with a snarl, but it was the Head Boy, a towering Slytherin lad with a smug smirk on his face and a whole gang of Slytherin prefects behind him. "He doesn't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like you."
The whole scene froze for a moment. Hazel expected Snape to reply somehow, but he just struggled to his feet and said nothing, face flushed an ugly brick-red. Lily went pale with fury, then put her wand away, knowing when she was outgunned. "Fine, next time I won't bother." She stormed out of sight, James chasing after her once Sirius' knee was fixed up at last.
The Head Boy watched them leave, then turned to the crowd. "Fifty points from the houses of anyone still standing here in the next twenty seconds." Everyone scattered quickly, leaving Snape still standing, trembling on his feet beneath the Head Boy's scrutiny. "You're an embarrassment, Snivellus, a fucking embarrassment. Next time don't let some Mudblood get the better of you, even if she is your little pet."
Snape was flushing deeper than ever and breathing hard, but he had no choice. "Yes sir."
"Good. Now fuck off before I get bored."
Snape scurried away, and Hazel wondered how he could ever patch up his relationship with Lily now. But the scene was shifting again…
Chapter 95: The Life of a Prince, Part IIISummary:More voyeurism from Hazel.
Notes:(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter TextIt was nighttime, an unknown amount of time later. Snape was hunched in on himself in front of the Gryffindor portrait hole, miserable; Lily stood before him, arms crossed beneath her chest, wearing a nightgown.
Snape was attempting to apologize. "I'm sorry."
"Bullshit."
"I'm sorry!"
"Save your breath." Lily heaved a sigh. "I only came out 'cause Mary said you were threatening to sleep out here."
"I was. I would have! Lily, please, you have to understand-"
"If you're so sorry, why didn't you say anything earlier? When MacNair called me a Mudblood?"
Snape was frantic now in the face of Lily's stone-cold disapproval. "Lily, please, just listen to me-"
"It's too late, Sev. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my real friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends! You don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
"Not me." He was trembling, looking over his shoulder, but he was standing his ground. "Lily, please. You don't understand how powerful they are. I have to play along, I have to!"
"No, you don't! You can beat any of them in a duel, Sev, I've seen you! You can stand up for yourself! For me!"
Snape was nearly in tears. "Lily-"
"I'm sorry, Sev, but we're done."
She was turning away when Snape played his last card. "Wait! You were asking about Snider the other day, remember?"
She stopped dead in her tracks, and slowly turned back to face him. "Yeah, and you said he'd gone home because of some family emergency."
The Fat Lady rustled in her frame. "What's this about a missing student?"
Lily looked over her shoulder, then dragged Snape out of sight behind the corner and put up privacy charms. Her face was hard as stone. "Out with it, Sev. This is your last chance."
"Listen! What I said before, that was a lie. He- they killedhim, Lily! They killed him and his sister!"
She went pale. "What? Who? Who killed him?"
"The Death Eaters! You remember, don't you? His half-sister, who had been born to some Muggle woman their father raped?"
"Sure, she was Sorted into Ravenclaw at the start of term."
"Yes! He's been defending her all year, keeping her safe, saying we can't blame her for what her parents did. And last month they told him if he didn't kill her himself they'd kill him and she'd die anyway! He tried to fight- put Nott in the infirmary- but MacNair used the Killing Curse on him! Then they slit the girl's throat and incinerated both their bodies!"
Lily was horrified now. "W-Why hasn't anyone said anything?!"
"Because-" Snape swallowed. "Because the orders came from- from Him."
"You mean V-Vold-?"
"NO!" He froze up, hand shooting out to stop her. "Don't! Don't say his name!"
Lily was silent for a long moment, staring into Snape's eyes, maybe looking for his lying face. When she didn't see it, her face hardened again. "Why are you only telling me this now?"
Snape closed his eyes, looking supremely miserable. "Because… because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose you, Lily, that's why. And because I want you to understand what it's like in Slytherin right now; the Death Eaters are killing the ones who don't support Him, they killed Snider, they killed his sister, they'll kill me too if they think I'm still attached to you. If I stand up and defend you, I mean."
Lily was silent for another long moment, then she shook her head sadly. "Go along to get along, you mean?"
"Yes, exactly! Lily, I don't expect you to understand. You're in Gryffindor, you're- you're brave and noble and pure, and-"
"I'm not." She cut him off with a harsh gesture. "I'm in so much trouble for docking those points from Potter and his mates, even though I was only following the rules of my badge. I still remember when you called me out for not speaking up about the sexual pranks they were pulling." She laughed sadly. "And when I did something about it? I was ostracized. And now I'm ostracized again. McGonagall doesn't care, she's hell bent on winning that House Cup; all the points I docked got put back within the hour, for other students' things, but we all know what it was really about."
Lily shook her head again; Hazel was horrified at what she was hearing, and very, very glad the Hat had put her in Slytherin. "It won't matter next year. If McGonagall doesn't retract those points, I'm turning in my badge. I might even drop out altogether."
Weirdly, these words had a calming effect on Snape. "Yes, that- that might be the safest thing for you. For all Muggleborns."
The scene changed again. It seemed to flicker; Hazel got brief images of Lily and James laughing together, Snape ever in the background; images of Snape studying highly advanced Potions books, more so than the one he had once gifted her; images of Snape himself dealing with horrors deep in the Slytherin dungeons, horrors he had no choice but to face head on if he wanted to live. And they let him live, because he was powerful and inventive, and they wanted him on their side.
The flickering stopped. Snape was an adult, or at least, no longer in Hogwarts. He was on his knees before Voldemort. "Tell us again, Severus, why they have invited you to their wedding."
His reply was swift and certain. "Because they trust me, my Lord."
"And tell us again why you insist on going?"
"Because many members of the Order of the Phoenix are certain to be there as well, and I shall report back to you their names."
"And why can we not simply dispatch our forces to the location and slaughter them all~?"
"There is a Fidelius Charm guarding knowledge of the wedding site, my Lord. Not even the bride and groom will know where it will happen before it happens."
"Lies." A female voice was hissing from the darkness surrounding them; Hazel recognized it as Bellatrix Lestrange. Or was she still Bellatrix Black at this point? "He's still sweet on the Mudblood, my Lord, he just wants to be near her~"
"Silence, Bella." She fell silent at once at her master's command. "Rise, Severus. You have Lord Voldemort's permission to attend this Mudblood wedding in peace. And when you return, you will report everything the Charm permits you to report."
Snape controlled his relief extremely well; Hazel could only tell by the flicker in his eyes. "I am most grateful, my Lord."
The scene shifted yet again, and reformed on the day of her parents' wedding. She recognized the church in Godric's Hollow; her mother, now an adult, was gorgeous in her wedding dress; a simple white gown with real fairies fluttering about the veil. James looked handsome enough too, she supposed, in a sleek plum velvet set of dress robes.
Snape looked like a vicar in a high-necked set of black dress robes, every button done up to his throat, his sleeves buttoned down precisely. He was approaching the happy couple with measured steps, on edge for any chicanery. Lily saw him and beamed. "Severus!" She pulled away from James and threw her arms around Snape's neck; after a moment he hugged her back, very briefly and correctly, his hands on her shoulders. "I'm so happy you could make it."
"I would not miss it for the world, Lily."
She let go and stepped back, and Hazel could see how her smile affected him; he really wanted her to be happy, she could tell. James stepped up, and there was an awkward moment.
"So… burying the old hatchet, are we?"
"That is why I am here, Potter. And to witness your union."
"Right, right." James dithered, then put his hand out. "Look, I've said it before, but I really am sorry for the way I treated you in school, alright? I mean it. I'm not just saying that 'cause Lily'll hex my bollocks off if I don't."
After a moment, Snape shook the offered hand. "Neither of us were innocent, Potter. But I accept your apology, and offer one of my own in turn."
"Happily accepted!" In that moment, nothing could have made James happier than patching things up with his old school rival. "Merlin, that's a load off my mind. Is it for you too?"
"Of course." Snape took his hand back, discreetly wiping it on the back of his robes; Lily and James went to greet other guests, and Snape surveyed the churchyard.
Hazel didn't recognize most of the people there. She assumed they were classmates. Another couple lingered close by, and they reminded her of Neville; she assumed they were his parents, Frank and Alice Longbottom. Sirius was there too, glaring at Snape but unwilling to violate the sanctity of the day for his best friend; Lupin and Wormtail were also there, Lupin looking dashing in robes that probably weren't his and somewhat healthier than normal, and Wormtail looking awkward in a Muggle suit that didn't fit him very well.
An older couple was there too, and they resembled James, so she assumed they were his parents, Fleamont and Euphemia.
It really did seem to be a small wedding, Hazel decided as she followed everyone into the church. Hardly anyone was Lily and James' age, except for the ones she had noted already; the rest were older, probably members of the Order, and she noticed Snape glancing at each one in turn to report on for later. Dumbledore was in attendance too, and so was a short and enormously fat old man Lily hugged and referred to as Professor Slughorn; he was so round his dress robes threatened to pop every time his gut jiggled, which was often, and he seemed to only be there for the champagne.
The officiant was an elderly wizard with tufty hair, who nonetheless had a powerful, singsong voice that reached the back row. Everyone sat down as the ceremony began, and miraculously, Sirius didn't start anything the whole time; probably because he was up front as the best man.
Lily appeared, on Snape's arm, and they paced the length of the church as magical organ music played. Up front, Snape gave her away and stepped back, and after a lot of prattle about vows and love and all that rot, the ceremony reached its zenith:
"Do you, James Fleamont Potter, take Lily Evans as your lawfully wedded wife?"
He could barely speak, he was beaming so hard. "I do."
"And do you, Lily Evans, take James Fleamont Potter as your lawfully wedded husband?"
She was crying beneath her veil. "I do!"
"Then I declare you bonded for life. You may kiss the bride!" James stepped forward, lifted the veil, and kissed Lily chastely as the spectators clapped.
The wedding dissolved; her surroundings solidified again and she stood on a hilltop, forlorn and cold in the darkness, the wind whistling through the branches of a few leafless trees. The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone.
His fear infected Hazel too, even though she knew that she could not be harmed, and she looked over her shoulder, wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for.
Then a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air. Hazel thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.
"Don't kill me!"
"That was not my intention."
Any sound of Dumbledore apparating had been drowned by the sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand.
"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"
"No message! I'm here on my own account!"
Snape was wringing his hands. He looked a little mad, with his straggling black hair flying around him. "I come with a warning, and a request, please!"
Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other.
"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"
"The prophecy, the prediction, that madwoman Trelawney!"
"Ah, yes. How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"
"Everything I heard! That is the reason he thinks it means Lily Potter!"
Dumbledore narrowed his eyes. "The prophecy did not refer to a woman. It spoke of a girl born at the end of July-"
"You know what I mean! He thinks it means Hazel, he is going to hunt her down and kill them all!"
"If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the daughter?"
"I have asked him- I tried- Headmaster, please!"
"You disgust me." Hazel had never heard so much contempt in his voice. Snape seemed to shrink a little. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"
Snape, breathing hard, managed to rally his nerves. "How would it look if I begged for the safety of the one family that fulfills the conditions of the prophecy, Headmaster? He would strike me down merely for thinking of it in his presence! No, I bargained with him for Lily's life only, you must keep James and Hazel alive!"
Dumbledore seemed surprised. "So you do care."
"Of course I do! I care so much I might die for it!"
The old man bothered his beard for a moment, then nodded. "And what will you give me in return, Severus?"
"In return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, and Hazel expected him to protest, but after a long moment he swallowed heavily and stood straight. "Anything."
The hilltop faded, and Hazel stood in Dumbledore's office, and something was making a terrible sound, like a wounded animal. Snape was slumped forward in a chair and Dumbledore was standing over him, looking grim. After a moment or two, Snape raised his face, and he looked like a man who had lived a hundred years of misery since leaving the wild hilltop. "I thought you were going to keep her safe…"
"As did I. But they put their trust in the wrong man. Rather like you, hm? Weren't you hoping he would spare her?"
Snape made that wounded-animal sound and slumped over again.
But Dumbledore was implacable. "Hazel survives, of course. Even I am not entirely certain how. But she has Lily's eyes, Severus, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Potter's eyes, I am sure?"
"Of course I remember! I'll never forget, as long as I live!"
"Is this remorse, Severus?"
"I wish I were dead in her place…"
"And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."
Hazel couldn't believe how cold Dumbledore was being, to this broken man who had sworn anything to keep her safe.
After a long, tearful moment, Snape straightened again. "My… way forward?"
"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's daughter."
"She does not need protection. The Dark Lord is gone-"
"The Dark Lord will return, and Hazel Jade Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."
There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he nodded. "Very well. But please- never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! My days would be numbered! I want your word!"
"My word that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face. "If you insist."
The office dissolved but reformed instantly; the shade of daylight was even exactly the same. Snape was pacing back and forth, and Hazel realized this was perhaps a week or two into her first year.
"I am not certain what to make of the Potter girl, Headmaster. She has her mother's eyes, yes, but far too much of her father in her. Already she has gotten into trouble, she is delighted to realize she is famous, she seeks attention for its own sake-"
"-yet she stands in your own House, does she not?" Dumbledore was turning the pages of an edition of Transfiguration Today. "Her other teachers have reported she is arrogant but likeable, and quite talented as well." He turned a page without looking up. "Keep an eye on Quirrell, won't you?"
A whirl of color, and now everything darkened, and Snape and Dumbledore stood a little apart in the entrance hall, while the last stragglers from the Yule Ball passed them on their way to bed. Dumbledore lowered his voice. "Well?"
"Karkaroff's Mark is becoming darker too. He is panicking, he fears retribution; you know how much help he gave the Ministry after the Dark Lord fell." Snape looked sideways at Dumbledore's crooked-nosed profile. "Karkaroff intends to flee if the Mark burns."
"Does he?" Dumbledore paused as Fleur Delacour and Cho Chang came giggling in from the grounds, then resumed speaking once they were out of sight. "And are you tempted to join him?"
"I would be a fool not to be, if only a little. But I know my place. I will not succumb to cowardice."
"You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we sort too soon." He walked away, leaving Snape looking stricken.
Hazel knew Karkaroff had changed his mind about fleeing, had decided at the last second to attempt to ingratiate himself back into Voldemort's good graces. She also knew it had failed, in part because Snape prevented him from fleeing after the Third Task.
The scene reformed, and this time it was a confusing montage of images from the previous year. Snape constantly serving to assuage the fury and paranoia of a broken Dark Lord, risking his life at every turn to communicate intelligence to the Order. He had apparently worn a medallion around his neck, which served as a magical mobile phone of sorts. She saw him relaying information, sometimes to Dumbledore, sometimes to Moody or Narcissa, and receiving cryptic instructions in turn.
And she saw the moment when the old man called him to his side after she had sucker-punched him and fled for the Department of Mysteries: he had been prowling a dark hallway in some Death Eater mansion or other, when the medallion vibrated and the old man's voice was heard in his ear.
"Severus, I need you immediately. Hazel has attacked me with Sectumsempra and fled for the Ministry. She has claimed the Elder Wand."
Severus replied in silence, using his thoughts alone, yet Hazel could hear them all the same. "You predicted this would happen."
"Indeed, my boy, and for once I hate to be right. How soon can you come?"
"Luckily I am not busy. I can be there at once."
"Very good. I am at 12 Grimmauld Place. This may be your only chance to pass on the package we discussed."
"Right away." The connection severed, and Severus conjured a glass vial, placing his wand to his head…
That was the final memory. She rose up from the stone basin and returned to herself, in the room of academic desperation.
Notes:I tweaked it more, but some dialogue and description were still lifted from the books in this chapter. And in the previous one as well, though I forgot to note it.
Chapter 96: NostalgiaSummary:The end of term at last. And the end of an era.
Notes:(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter TextHazel sat back on the padded stool, her thoughts racing over what she had just learned. Snape's entire life, laid out for her perusal. Why had he left her this? Had he not planned on surviving the war?
She thought about her parents' wedding, about seeing her mother so radiantly happy, about seeing Snape and her father shaking hands and burying the past. She wished she could have heard Snape's thoughts then. What had that moment meant to him? It cemented for her that he had only ever wanted Lily to be happy, even if it meant the arms of another man, the bed of another man, the child or children of another man.
She was very glad he and James had forgiven each other before that fatal Halloween night.
Well, no use sitting around on it. She collected the memories from the basin, recorked them and went to pick up the basin when she heard voices from the office beyond. McGonagall was speaking to a man. Ignoring the basin for the moment, she went and opened the door.
"Ah, Miss Potter." McGonagall was seated behind her desk, and standing before her was Snape. "I trust your mental meanderings were fruitful?"
"Yes, Headmistress." She left the door open so she could get the basin, and walked back in to return it to its proper place. "Professor, I'll be waiting downstairs. I need to speak to you in private."
"Very well." He nodded, and she walked out, riding the staircase back down to the empty hallways. Everyone else was outside, enjoying the early summer sun while it lasted.
Snape came down soon enough, and they found an empty classroom. She sealed the door and put up privacy charms, then faced him. "So, sir, I finally found time to view the memories you left."
"Yes, I figured as much when Minerva indicated you were inside with the Pensieve."
"Do you want the memories back?" She held out the vial; he accepted it and returned them to his head. "Sir, when you handed that vial to me the first time, did you… were you not planning to survive the war?"
He was silent for a long moment, then shook his head. "I had no expectation of survival at that point in time, no."
"I thought not. Some of those memories were pretty personal."
"Indeed. There were several aspects of my life that would have shed light on your own troubles. And… perhaps I wished to be remembered, as well."
Hazel looked up at him, at the thin and sallow face and greasy hair she had spent so much time with just now, and felt a great rush of affection. She stepped into his personal space and threw her arms around him tightly. "Thank you for looking after my mum, sir, and for keeping me alive."
Like before, he hesitated before hugging her in return. "You are certainly welcome, Miss Potter. I made that vow in a moment of distress, but I intend to keep it for as long as I live."
Hazel cringed, but held on tighter. "You might not be so keen on that when you find out what I want to do with my life…"
He pushed her away and looked her dead in the eye, his hands on her shoulders. "You mean, your stated ambition to be a soldier of fortune?"
Her mind stuttered, then she remembered she had told Sinistra during their career counseling session. "Uh, yeah, I guess Sinistra must have mentioned it."
"Do not forget how you once expressed to me that, and I quote, 'I've got half a mind to drop out and lose myself in the criminal underworld, because down there I won't have to pretend to be something I'm not!'"
Her mind stuttered again. Then she recalled the words. "You called me out for lying right afterward, why are you throwing the words back in my face now?"
He met her incredulity with one of his arched eyebrows. "Should I not? They seemed appropriate for your stated goals."
"Yeah, well." She heaved a sigh. "I'm only 15, sir. I understand that having to have options lined up before OWLs makes the whole process easier, but… but we're all still just kids, aren't we?"
That eyebrow arched higher. "Strangely humble, coming from you. Weren't you loudly complaining about being treated like a kid recently?"
"Ugh, don't remind me. So are you going to lecture me, or what?"
He was silent for a long moment, then he stepped closer. "Until you are of age, Potter, I have every obligation to prevent you from pursuing such a path, even had I not swore upon your mother's memory to keep you safe. However, I know you too well to believe mere words will stop you."
He leaned down, looming over her. "You wish to sell your wand and your gun for galleons? You wish to debase the Elder Wand, the power of the Mistress of Death, in such a vulgar manner? Then prove your worth, Miss Potter. Stay on at Hogwarts, endure the plebeian antics of your classmates and your professors. Study hard, train harder. Potential employers will not be impressed by a flighty woman who does not honor her obligations, no matter how powerful she may be."
Hazel tried to hold her ground, but it was impossible. She stepped back instead, glaring up at him. "You certainly take your oaths seriously, old man."
"Of course I do. For many years, my oaths were all I had. If you insist on this path you have chosen, you will find yourself in a similar position one day."
"Whatever you say. I think we're done here." She dismantled the privacy wards and strode for the door; Snape made no move to stop her, despite the rudeness of her abrupt exit.
It was hard to believe it was only midmorning on a glorious Friday. Hazel felt as if she had lived an entire lifetime in the past two hours. Which she had, in a way, hadn't she? She didn't want to stay in, and she didn't want to go outside, because everyone else would be outside, enjoying the wonderful weather. She wanted to go swimming, but didn't want to run into people on the way to the Black Lake. They all seemed so far beneath her.
She found herself in the hallway with old Filch, who was struggling with a suit of armor and a feather duster, cursing under his breath. Mrs Norris was purring at his ankles. Abruptly seized by a desire to be helpful and productive, she proceeded to meddle. "Sir, do you need a hand?"
"Eh? Oh, Potter." As usual, he seemed put off by her presence. "Er, just…" He trailed off, waving vaguely at the suits of armor.
"Oh, do they need dusting?" He shrugged awkwardly, not meeting her eyes; she shrugged back and flicked her wand, and the suits were instantly dusted, polished and oiled. "Give me your list of chores for the day, sir, and I'll tend to them. You go out and enjoy the day."
"Now see here, those are-"
"Now, sir, if you please."
"Bloody hell, no need to raise yer voice at me!" He shoved a tattered scroll at her with a glower and stumped off, Mrs Norris trailing cheerfully in his wake.
Hazel rolled her eyes and checked the scroll. They were all boring tasks, but apparently they had to be done, so she drew her wand and got down to it. Minor repairs, cleaning tasks, a stopped toilet, windows. It all got checked off, one by one.
It would have taken Filch all day. Hazel completed it in an hour, and most of that time was taken up by walking back and forth. She did them in order too, even if that wasn't the most efficient way. "He really needs to optimize his lists."
As she was cleaning the last row of suits of armor, McGonagall happened along. "Miss Potter, why aren't you outside?"
"Hello, Headmistress. I didn't want to be outside, so I decided to kick Filch out and do his chores for him."
"That's Mr Filch to you. And twenty points to Slytherin for being helpful, I suppose."
"Thank you ma'am."
"Now run along and enjoy the sun, your friends are probably worried about you."
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, and bowed instead. "Right away, ma'am." She went outside and down to the lake, noting with a twinge of nostalgia the beech tree her father once goofed off under, and that she sometimes did too. Hell, even the bush Snape once hid beneath was there. Down by the water, a group of girls were fooling around, just like Lily and her girlfriends, and some boys were lurking beneath the tree, hoping for one of the girls to get hot and show some skin.
"Enjoying the view, lads?"
They startled, and looked very busy with books they just so happened to have on hand. None of them looked her in the eye, either. She laughed in their faces. "I'm not buying it, lads. Run along and perv on a magazine or something, leave those girls in peace."
"We weren't doing anything!"
She cocked an eyebrow. "Sure you weren't. Five points from all of you. Do you really wanna find out if they'll give detention this close to the end of term?" She knew for a fact they would, Crabbe and Goyle had gotten detention literally after term let out.
Reluctantly the boys left, and after checking for ants, Hazel settled herself in the shade of the beech tree instead. It was a lovely day and she shrugged her cloak off without hesitation. Maybe once a few of those girls left, she might be able to sneak down to the water and go skinny dipping.
She thought about what she normally might have done; march down there anyway and invite a few of them to join her. Then she wondered why she didn't want to.
Was it nostalgia? The fresh memory of Snape's memory of her parents at this age still playing in her mind's eye?
Lazily she flicked her wand, and a pair of silken underthings appeared in her hand. The girl she'd magicked them from didn't seem to notice; Hazel put them back with the countercharm before she did notice.
The sun crawled across the sky. Hazel dozed off, waking up when she felt someone nuzzling under her arm. It was Luna, looking quite scrumptious indeed in her undershirt. "Hey, sunshine."
"Hazel~" Luna kissed her cheek and nuzzled into her chest, falling asleep in seconds. Hazel chuckled and held her close, dozing off again. It wasn't that she didn't want company, she realized. She just wanted the rightcompany.
When the other girls went inside, it was almost dark, so Hazel and Luna went skinny dipping without any interference. And some other things happened which were very lovely as well.
The weekend dragged by for Hazel, eager as she was to get out of Hogwarts, to get somewhere she could stop pretending. She passed the time, not by lazing about, but by staying active, by working out, by dueling, by flying, and yes, by having sex. She packed her belongings on Sunday afternoon, not wanting to waste any time in the mad rush to leave the next day, and on a whim shrank her trunk and brought it with her, detouring upstairs to send Hedwig with a note for Petunia informing her she didn't need to be picked up; she'd write to Sirius for a ride instead.
"Don't come back, Hedwig, head home to Godric's Hollow instead. Got that?" She fed her owl a treat, got a playful nip in return, and the pretty white bird winged away into the afternoon sunlight.
Sunday evening was the end-of-term feast, a grand affair in normal times. Tonight it was even more spectacular, with guests in attendance and fairies fluttering in the air; Hazel swore the Great Hall was even greater to make room. She saw Madam Bones, and Dumbledore, and Kingsley, and all the surviving Aurors and Order members. Except for Lupin, unfortunately, he was confined since the full moon was tonight.
McGonagall rose to her feet before the food arrived, and held her hands up for silence. "This has been an eventful year, to say the least. Several new teachers, some expected and some not." Penny, Ismelda and the rest of them waved; Grindelwald just smirked. "As well, a war unfolded outside our walls, a war which made unfortunate inroads into our walls."
The silence deepened, and the Gryffindor table looked uncomfortable. "I am speaking, of course, of the deaths of Ronald Bilius Weasley and of Neville Franklin Longbottom, both of whom were proud Gryffindors. As was noted back in March, they fell not in ignominy, but in the final skirmish of the war against Tom Marvolo Riddle, better known as…" She had to pause and steel herself briefly. "...Lord Voldemort."
Even after all this time, a hush still rippled outward across the already silent Hall. Even Hazel couldn't keep goosebumps from fluttering up her arms at the mention of her old foe.
McGonagall collected herself and kept speaking. "The circumstances of their deaths, while grotesque, do bear consideration; if you have weak stomachs, you may depart the hall momentarily." No one got up, so after a moment she pressed on. "Don't say you weren't warned. Ronald and Neville perished in the wake of Riddle's execution at the hands of Hazel Potter, who shot him with her Muggle firearm. Bellatrix Lestrange, then in the custody of an Auror, broke her bindings, snatched Neville's wand and struck him down with it, and turned it on Hazel. Ronald dove between them just as both launched their attacks, and he fell, giving Hazel the chance to fire again. Neville, in his final moments, reclaimed his wand and made sure Bellatrix would not rise again."
No one got sick, though there was some grumbling. Hazel knew it hadn't been quite so concise in the heat of the moment, but didn't see a need to interject. She was pretty sure they had covered this stuff during the memorial she had skipped, too.
No one overreacted to the news that she had shot Voldemort either. That was the nice thing about putting off big announcements for a few months; everyone knew what was coming and nobody gawked at her. Win win!
After a moment of silence, McGonagall moved on. "As some of you may have heard, Professor Babbling has decided to retire with the title of Professor Emeritus, and Professor Trelawney will be taking her place as Ancient Runes professor, though Professor Babbling has agreed to stay on as an advisor until Professor Trelawney has found her footing."
Babbling and Trelawney both waved, and there was a smattering of applause.
"Professors Snape and Grindelwald have also agreed to remain on staff, pending the resolution of their respective legal difficulties related to the war." A polite way of saying they were war criminals, and there was a low rumble of laughter that made it clear her meaning was understood.
"Now, one final point of order. Miss Potter was absent during our previous memorial in honor of the fallen, so today she will receive her commendations. Miss Potter, please stand." Feeling nervous, Hazel rose to her feet, and all eyes fell on her, on the burn scars and ritual scars covering her head and face. "Miss Potter does not consider herself a hero. She believes the actions she performed preclude such honors."
Not this again. Hazel rolled her eyes. "Pardon the interruption, Headmistress, but I'm not a hero. Heroes don't kill people in cold blood and feel nothing about it later. I don't consider myself any better than the men and women I killed."
"Perhaps, but this is not the time for deep introspection. Reprehensible or not, Miss Potter, your actions led directly to the end of the war and the death of Tom Riddle, and as such, Hogwarts and the Ministry both wish to acknowledge the results of what you did, if not the actions themselves. Interim Minister?"
Madam Bones rose to her feet. "It's been kept under wraps, but the Wizengamot voted unanimously to bestow the Order of Merlin, First Class, upon Miss Potter some weeks ago."
Everyone clapped at that, and Hazel tried to put a smirk on her face. "Thanks, I guess."
When the adulation died down, McGonagall again raised her hands. "With all that being said, it is obvious from the decor that this year's House Cup goes to Slytherin!" The clapping restarted again, and Hazel found herself the subject of many back slaps and hands to shake. She put that smirk back on and accepted it all, and wondered at herself. Once she would have basked in this kind of recognition, but now she just wanted it to be over with.
Eventually the feast itself began, and Hazel sat down to stuff her face. Daphne and Pansy competed to tease her under the table, and that distraction, combined with focusing on Occlumency to keep her composure, kept her from doing anything rash. Sirius, who was seated across from her, seemed aware of what was going on, but only smirked at her.
After the feast, when Hazel was stuffed, she straightened her skirt and stood up, beckoning Sirius aside. "Can we leave early? I don't fancy a train ride full of my fans tomorrow."
"Thought you'd ask, kiddo, and I already got permission from the Headmistress. Go get your things."
"Already got it. Shall we?"
They set off together, heading out the doors, through the entrance hall and out the larger doors leading outside. They crossed the lawn, passed the gates, and Sirius offered his arm. "Where to?"
"Godric's Hollow, my new cottage." She took his wrist, gripping firmly, and endured side-along apparition; when the void spat them back out, she found herself standing outside a quaint little house indeed, but she knew it would be more impressive on the inside. "Thanks, Sirius. You can head home now."
"Sure thing, kiddo." They hugged, and Sirius stepped back to apparate away home.
Hazel yawned and stepped into her house, already rubbing her ring to summon Winky and ask for a sandwich. It was good to be home.
Notes:Welp, here we are, the end of the ride.
I'm not going to promise this is the end of Hazel's adventures, but for now I'll be taking a break from her story, and from the HP fandom in general. I've been working on this story nonstop for almost five years, can you believe that shit? Or maybe it's only been four years, I don't know.
I know I left some plot threads dangling, like Hazel's mental health and her final ship and the political situation and things, but those are things that never get a tidy resolution.
That being said, I'm not done writing. I'm working on a Twilight fic at the moment, though I have no idea when I'll start posting it.
Series this work belongs to:← Previous Work Part 5 of Hazel's Story