Harry's eyes narrowed when he finally recognized the twitch at the corner of his professor's mouth and the well-concealed gleam in his eye as a wave of his professor's emotion hit his dementor senses. Snape was trying to not laugh at him. It was not funny! "This isn't funny, sir! Those menaces are bloody lethal!" Harry ground out indignantly.
"5 points from Gryffindor for language, Mr. Potter," Snape drawled, just a little of his humor slipping out from behind his expressionless mask. "Only you could be exasperating enough to get an animal known for peace and love to attack."
Harry refrained from rolling his eyes and glared instead. "I'm bleeding on the floor, sir. Do you think I could possibly head to the hospital wing now?" He asked dryly.
Snape just smirked at him and pulled a large jar of something from out of a deep pocket in his robes. "Essence of Murtlap," he said as he handed it over. "That cut isn't even worth going to the hospital wing. Put in on twice a day for the next three days, and you'll be fine…physically that is. I sadly can't do anything about your abysmal mental state."
The three students stared at the jar in surprise. Did Snape just help him? Well, Madam Pomfrey probably would have given him the same thing, also brewed by the professor, so this was just cutting out the middleman. But still…it felt like Snape just helped him. "Er…thank you, sir," Harry stared at the jar of healing cream and ignored the expected insult about his mental state.
Snape smirked at their confusion and pushed past them in a billow of robes. "I better not hear about any of you missing class!" He called back sternly.
Ron snorted while Hermione pushed Harry's sleeve back and started putting the cream onto the cut. "Well…if that's not proof that Malfoy was being completely ridiculous third year, then I don't know what is," Ron huffed in irritation while the cut got noticeably smaller.
"Let's grab some food. Lunch is starting soon," Harry smiled at his friends who both mumbled something about Jamie. "History of Magic is next!" He remarked as he ignored them both and headed towards the Great Hall. At least no bloody demented horses would be attacking in a history class.
Harry stared at his transparent professor and wished more than ever before that he was able to sleep. Staying awake in History of Magic was just torture. While doodling on his notes, he analyzed the ethics of eating a ghostly spirit. The man was already dead. So…it's not like he was in a body…he would also be doing all the students a favor by getting rid of an incompetent teacher. And…Dobby had told him to eat.
Harry pushed down his hunger that welled up at the thought. Maybe he was a little too close to this decision, he figured. He'd ask Luna since he couldn't really trust the dementor to make an ethical decision that wasn't based on hunger and boredom in the moment. He drew a line at the bottom of his notes and started a letter to his fairy friend instead.
Dear Luna,
As you can see, I'm in History of Magic and ridiculously bored. So, serious question…you told me not to eat anyone you wouldn't eat. Would you eat Professor Binns? He's already dead and soooo boring. I'm fairly certain he'd be quite tasty too. So, your opinion, is it ethical to eat my History Professor?
Anxiously waiting your response,
Harry (and Jamie)
Knowing Luna had a free period just then, Harry whistled out and waited. Hedwig flew into the room from the open window moments later and landed on his desk. Besides Hermione glaring at him in reproach and a couple classmates, Ron included, grumbling in their sleep, no one noticed or cared about the owl, least of all the ghostly professor droning on up by the chalkboard. Harry smiled unrepentantly at Hermione and tied the letter onto Hedwig's leg, pulling an owl treat out of his pocket and handing it over as well. "That's for Luna, dear," he whispered. Hedwig hooted as she happily snapped up the owl treat and flew back out of the window. Hermione glared at him one more time for good measure before turning back to her notes.
Harry's halfway finished notes were returned to him at dinner with a message from Luna at the bottom:
Harry,
No, you may not eat our History Professor. Besides drawing unwanted attention to yourself, he is a sentient being, even if he isn't currently alive. Just because he's boring, doesn't mean he deserves to die.
(Fine! Harry grumbled out and ate another bite of carrots before glaring over at a grinning blonde at the Ravenclaw table)
On another note, are you free on Thursday night next week? I have something else you might like to see. You in?
Luna
Harry turned back to his smiling friend and wrinkled his nose to show his frustration. He then smiled and nodded about Thursday. Luna grinned back and waved.
"What was that about?" Hermione asked when Harry turned back to them.
"Luna said I couldn't kill Binns," Harry pouted and took a sip of pumpkin juice.
"Pineapple," Ron sighed and stabbed his steak with his fork.
"Jamie was the code word," Hermione reminded him with a long-suffering sigh.
"Well, apparently that code word wasn't doing anything," the redhead glared at both his friends, waving a steak-laden fork around.
"I hear you. I just ignore you sometimes," Harry smirked at them.
"Harry…in second year, what did we brew in the girls' bathroom?" Ron asked in all seriousness.
"Polyjuice potion?" the dementor responded with a questioning eyebrow raise.
"Just checking…" Ron shook his head. "Sometimes I still wonder…"
Harry shrugged and stood from his bench. "I have detention with Umbridge. See you all later!"
"Harry! Be careful!" Hermione called after him in worry. Her friend smiled at her warmly before turning and heading out the door.
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