Inside the Senju compound, Tsunade watched her student with a look of growing confusion. Tatsuma was many things, but "reserved" was never one of them. Yet today, he seemed incredibly hesitant to even sit down, shifting his weight with agonizing awkwardness.
Beside him, Minato and Kushina—who were clearly in on the secret—were vibrating with the effort of holding back their laughter.
Tsunade's brow furrowed in annoyance. "Are you planning to stand the whole time?"
Tatsuma nodded solemnly. "Yes. I'll just stand. You're all my teachers and elders; it wouldn't be proper for me to sit among you."
"Pfft—hahaha!"
Kushina finally snapped, exploding into a fit of raucous laughter. Even Minato buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. The Sannin exchanged looks of utter bewilderment, their patience wearing thin.
Lateness was one thing, but this level of absurdity was another. Didn't the boy realize they were about to deploy? Every second was precious.
"What is going on?!" Tsunade's voice carried a dangerous edge of irritation.
Tatsuma swallowed hard. He looked at the equally puzzled Orochimaru and Jiraiya, then gritted his teeth. Shoving his shame aside, he decided to tell the truth.
"Lately... I've been having some... constipation issues. Localized... discomfort. I'd rather not sit."
Tsunade and Orochimaru's faces immediately went flat, a collective "black line" practically manifesting on their foreheads. Jiraiya, however, after a brief moment of stunned silence, slapped his thigh and let out a laugh even more boisterous than Kushina's.
Tatsuma's own face went dark.
"Didn't you take any medicine?" Tsunade asked.
"I did. It didn't do much."
Tatsuma certainly hadn't intended to suffer in silence. However, it seemed that any oral medication he took was immediately stripped of its nutrients by his ravenous cells, only to be compressed into those "charcoal briquettes." A topical treatment might have worked, but...
If Minato hadn't been the one to offer him the suppository—if he'd just bought it himself—the psychological barrier might have been lower.
Tsunade shook her head, wanting to move on to the mission. But Orochimaru remained pensive, his voice cutting through the laughter. "Could this be linked to your recent physical changes?"
Though Tsunade was the one who had performed the check-up, Orochimaru was arguably the most interested in Tatsuma's evolution. He simply hadn't had a valid excuse to interfere yet.
He had asked Tsunade earlier, but she had insisted everything was normal. He had shelved his doubts for the time being, but this "constipation" was a red flag. Minor as it seemed, it was an abnormality. Tatsuma had lived on nothing but dry soldier pills for months without issue; why would he develop this now, back in the village with a normal diet?
Orochimaru's golden, slitted pupils scanned Tatsuma's body. His tongue darted out to lick his lips in an unconscious display of hunger.
Years ago, he had analyzed blood samples from both Tatsuma and Minato. He had found nothing—no unique genetic markers, no traces of a Kekkei Genkai. He had written them off as exceptionally talented commoners. But over the last year, that assessment had been shattered. Tatsuma's chakra growth was biologically improbable, and his progress was outstripping even Minato's—sometimes by leaps and bounds.
Orochimaru was dying to get another sample. While their previous tests showed no signs of a bloodline, some clans had traits that weren't "latent" until a certain threshold was met. He looked at Tsunade, thinking of the Senju and Uzumaki lineages.
Tsunade, sensing Orochimaru's intent, realized the logic behind his suspicion. Her gaze turned back to Tatsuma, this time with a clinical, analytical eye.
Could it be? Did Second Grand-uncle really make a 'mistake' in his youth? No, based on the timeline, he wouldn't have been the father... maybe the grandfather? Did the 'Big-eyed, Thick-browed' Tobirama actually... wait, no, Tobirama's eyebrows weren't thick and his eyes weren't that big...
Tsunade shook her head, clearing the gossipy thoughts about her late relative. "After this mission, I'm giving you a full, specialized physical. Orochimaru, I might need your help with the labs."
"It would be my pleasure," Orochimaru replied instantly, his eyes practically gleaming. Tatsuma, caught in that gaze, felt a sudden, inexplicable chill.
Jiraiya and Kushina stopped laughing. Along with Minato, they looked at Tatsuma with genuine concern. It was one thing to joke about bathroom habits; it was another if his body was actually breaking down.
Tatsuma waved them off. "It's probably just the change in climate, or too much ice cream. A full check-up seems..."
"It's better to be sure. The body is a person's most precious treasure, Tatsuma," Orochimaru interrupted, smiling thinly.
Tatsuma's lip twitched. He remembered how, in the original series, Orochimaru treated bodies like disposable cars—swapping them out every year. I wonder if he ever visits the graves of his old 'treasures,' Tatsuma thought distractedly.
He suppressed the stray thought and conceded. He wasn't particularly worried; he knew his changes weren't from a secret bloodline, but from his system's augmentations. For everyone else, "latent talents" were a slow burn; for him, they were a sudden leap, creating the illusion of a genetic anomaly.
Besides, by the time they got back from the Land of Iron, his "energy deficit" would likely be resolved. His cells were like mid-sized cups being replaced by "super-size" buckets. Once the new capacity was filled, his metabolic rate would stabilize, and his food would stop being turned into charcoal.
The only real problem was that he was about to leave the village. Out in the field, there were no toilets to sit on for an hour.
Tsunade, seeing him yield, got down to business. "Regarding our diplomatic mission to the Land of Iron..."
She began detailing the mission and their negotiation strategy. Tatsuma stayed quiet; his understanding of diplomacy was limited to the "armchair general" level of his past life. If it were up to him, he'd just quote the old "Don't say we didn't warn you" line, but that was hardly appropriate for the Land of Iron.
He had no idea how to convince the samurai to bleed for them unless the General had a secret weakness he could exploit.
However, when Orochimaru brought up economic incentives and trade agreements—concepts that left Jiraiya and Tsunade looking blank—Tatsuma actually managed to chime in with a few intelligent points. Still, since they lacked actual decision-making power, they could only map out a general direction for the real diplomats to follow.
The discussion lasted until dinner. Kushina had long since wandered off to find Uzumaki Mito, dragging Minato along with her halfway through.
After the meal, as Tatsuma and Minato prepared to leave, Jiraiya clapped a hand on Minato's shoulder. "Minato, you're coming with me tonight. I have something specific to teach you."
Tsunade looked at Tatsuma. "You're staying here as well."
The two boys exchanged a look and nodded. They had expected this—last-minute training for the upcoming mission. Lately, their paths had begun to diverge. Their elemental affinities and combat roles were becoming distinct, so separate tutoring made more sense than their previous joint sessions.
Tatsuma was curious, though. What could Tsunade teach him now? More Monstrous Strength techniques?
After Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Minato departed, Tsunade and Uzumaki Mito led Tatsuma to a study. It wasn't the one Mito usually used, but another room... one that looked like it hadn't been opened in years.
Creeeak—
The sound of the hinges was sharp and grating. A faint smell of dust and old paper hit Tatsuma's nose. He grew more curious by the second. The room was pitch black, but it felt... important.
Tsunade flipped a switch. The light was dim and flickered intermittently—a clear sign of neglected electrical work. "You'll have to renovate this place later," Tsunade grumbled. "I don't trust anyone else with the repairs."
Tatsuma nodded. He might not know as much about ninja lore as a local, but he knew his way around a circuit board. It was a skill he'd inherited from his father in his previous life—he'd spent half his childhood handing his dad screwdrivers and voltmeters.
Mito walked into the center of the room, looking around with a nostalgic sigh. "This was Tobirama's personal study. Aside from the Forbidden Jutsu, all of his research, notes, and regular jutsu scrolls are kept here."
"That wall over there is Water Style. This side is Earth Style. These two were his focus; he spent years trying to reverse-engineer my husband's Wood Release. You'll have to dig for the other elements; he wasn't very organized. All of this... it belongs to you now."
Tatsuma was genuinely moved. "Wealth" was an understatement. This was the life's work of the Master of a Thousand Jutsu. To be chosen as the successor of Tobirama's intellectual legacy... Tatsuma found himself speechless.
His brain was still processing the shock, but his hand moved instinctively. He reached for a scroll on the nearest shelf and began to unfurl it.
BOOM!
Tatsuma was suddenly blasted backward, flying out of the study and skidding across the hallway. He sat up, covered from head to toe in glowing, fluorescent dye. He looked like a human glow-stick in the dark.
From inside the room, Mito's voice drifted out: "Ah... I forgot to mention. Tobirama personally sealed every scroll in here. You'll have to learn how to undo his security seals first."
Outside, the "Little Neon Green Man" clutched the scroll—which was covered in complex sealing formulas—and felt his eye twitch. For some reason, he was certain Uzumaki Mito was suppressing a laugh.
"Aha—hahaha! I knew he wouldn't be able to resist!" Tsunade, however, was not suppressing anything. "He'd make friends with an Uchiha just to learn a Fire Style; you think he'd hesitate for a second with Second Grand-uncle's notes?"