Obsession.
Was that how my Master viewed my desperate struggle?
To my flawless Master, it was only natural that my unsightly writhing appeared as nothing more than an obsession.
But forgive me, Master; is it not the proper path for the ignorant to question the natural order?
I raised my head to look at him.
My Master was looking down at me with an expression that suggested he truly could not understand.
However, I did not feel that same distance from him as I did from the Soul King.
He was not asking as a flawless, divine being, but as one man to another.
Because of that, I felt at ease enough to open my mouth.
To engage in this dialogue.
"Why did you think I was obsessed with learning?"
"I asked you first..."
A question for a question.
It was a rudeness—returning a query with another query—but I believed my Master, having spent so much time with me, would surely forgive it.
With that thought, I lowered my gaze slightly, and a sigh reached my ears.
It was a sign that he accepted my behavior, so I raised my head once more.
My Master looked disgruntled, but he did not reprimand me.
He scratched his head in silence for a moment before crossing his arms.
"Wanting to know what you don't know is natural. But in your case, it's excessive. Even with the same object, you look at it over and over, unable to rest until you know its every detail inside and out. If that's not an obsession, what is?"
"I simply wished to know what I did not know."
I was sincere. I simply want to know everything in this world.
I want to know the structure of this world. I want to know the truth of life and death.
"You may not understand, Master, but to me, this is more important than anything else."
I gave a bitter smile and bowed my head at his words.
"You want to know everything in the world? Like the 'Truth' or whatever?"
I couldn't help but stop smiling at his reply.
His voice was indifferent, as if it were nothing at all, yet he had accurately pierced my inner intent.
It was a bit startling, even a bit frightening, but for my Master, this was only natural.
For a flawless existence, grasping the intent of a flawed being must be trivial.
Therefore, I did not deny it.
Denial would be meaningless.
"...Yes. You see right through me."
"Sigh..."
My Master exhaled with a complicated expression, closing his eyes and tapping his forearm with his index finger.
It was a gesture he made whenever he was pondering what to say to me. Immediately, I closed my eyes and opened my ears.
I stepped closer to him, determined not to miss a single word.
After a long silence, my Master exhaled once more and finally spoke.
"Why?"
Why.
That single word left me speechless.
"If you ask me why..."
I pondered for a moment before speaking. There was no point in hiding my true feelings from him.
"...Because I am afraid."
"Of what you don't know?"
"Yes. I seek to learn because I am afraid. Once I learn the unknown, master it, and grasp its essence, it is no longer frightening."
Ignorance is terrifying.
The unknown is a source of dread.
Like the shadow beneath a bed, or the forest when night falls.
It is scary because you do not know what is there. It is scary because you do not know what *it* is.
But if I learn it, and learn it again until I make it my own, it is no longer scary.
Fear is something that can be overcome through learning.
That is why I struggle to learn and master even the smallest detail. To my Master, that must have looked like an obsession.
"I learn and master things so that I do not die—to escape from fear."
"I'd say you've done enough already."
"I do not believe there is such a thing as 'enough' in learning."
I dared to contradict my Master and shook my head. My belief that learning is never complete remained unshaken.
Above all... because I have yet to learn of the Soul King.
The Soul King—'that thing'—is incomprehensible.
Its principles of action, its thoughts, the exact nature and extent of its power... I know nothing of them.
The fragments of the Soul King I have been able to infer through my learning and experience are these:
The Soul King rejects Hollows and performs Eradication on every one he sees. And those actions of the Soul King are, bit by bit, devouring this world.
'Does that not mean the Soul King's very existence is a threat to the world?'
Why does he do it? He is a part of this world himself. So why does he not return the Hollows to Reishi? Why does he choose Eradication, turning them into nothingness?
Why does he burn himself away? Why has he chosen extinction over permanence? Why has he divided life and death, inviting death by his own hand?
That man is a madman.
He looks sane on the outside, but inside he is an aberration, festering and reeking of rot.
He is no different from a self-destructing mud doll—one who continues to act even while knowing the Eradication of Hollows is a form of self-cannibalism.
The real problem is that what he is tearing down isn't just himself, but the entire world.
"..."
It is not for some grand reason, like saving the world or for the greater good.
I am simply afraid that one day, I might become a Hollow and be eradicated by the Soul King's hand, vanishing without even a trace that I ever existed.
If not that, then I fear the destruction of the world that will surely come in the future.
I am a coward who cannot bear the thought of my existence disappearing.
"I still have many fears. There is too much I do not know. Therefore... yes, as you said, Master, I intend to remain obsessed with learning."
"And what is it you want to know by doing that?"
"The truth of this world."
Everything about the Soul King.
"That is why I seek to learn from you, Master. Because you are the one who can tell me what I desire."
Because you, my flawless Master, surely know a way to stop—to kill—the Soul King.
After pouring out my heart, I steadied my trembling breath and met my Master's eyes.
His half-closed, languid eyes seemed at a glance to contain only laziness and apathy. To me, however, they looked like the eyes of one who had carved out enlightenment.
My Master always gave me an answer after making that face, so I waited quietly for his response.
"You're gonna end up shaking in fear until you die an early death."
"...Pardon?"
Startled, I blinked and asked him to repeat himself.
"Why do you say... I will die? Did I do something wrong?"
I looked at him, swallowing dryly in my fear, but my Master shook his head.
"Did you say there's no such thing as 'enough' in learning? That's not quite it. It's not that learning is never 'enough,' it's that it has no end. Let's see..."
Master rose slowly, took a wooden sculpture of an arm he had been working on, and placed it before me. He then began carving it again, turning it into something completely different. It was no longer human.
"Do you know what this is?"
"I do not know."
"It's a machine. A mechanical hand. In the distant future, these will be made of iron. No, was it tungsten? Anyway. Now, wait a second."
He then snapped the wrist off the sculpture and began gouging out the inside of the forearm.
In the end, what had been a human arm was now only one on the outside; the inside was a hollow cylinder.
"Then do you know what this is?"
"...I do not know."
"This is a prosthetic arm modified into a cannon. If you put gunpowder and slugs in here and fire it, it blows the opponent to bits. It's a very romantic thing. Well, not like you can make one now anyway."
"..."
Master tossed the sculpture behind his back and sighed while looking at me.
"If you want to know everything, you'd better start by stopping this world from changing anymore. Because even while we're talking right now, the world is changing second by second."
"Ah..."
"And what does just learning and mastering things change? If you just 'know' things, everything stays the same. If you're afraid of change, you have to change things yourself."
"B-But... I am not capable enough alone... To change the world, how could a small and insignificant being like me..."
"If it's hard to do alone, then just do it with other people."
...!!
At those words, a jolt ran through my entire body. It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck my mind.
"I understand. I understand now!"
"Why do you have to say it twice? It's creepy."
"Thank you! Truly, truly...!"
Looking at me with a dubious expression, my Master scratched his head and then let out an "Ah.”
"Ah, so this is why the Soul King dies."
"...!?"
Startled, I looked at him, but my Master merely glanced my way and waved his hand dismissively.
"Aah, it's nothing. Just talking to myself."
"If you don't have anything else to ask, you can go. I need to do some thinking too."
He turned his back, and after staring at him for a moment, I bowed deeply and returned to where I belonged.
'Just how much does he know?'
A vague sense of dread quietly reared its head.