Reforming a sinner is harder than it looks.
Especially when it's a lunatic with a shitty philosophy like, 'I'm a noble and you're a commoner, so it's fine,' or 'I'm entitled to this.'
However, nothing is impossible with endless 'attention' and the 'Rod of Love.'
Of course, that 'attention' is just relentless nagging, and the 'Rod of Love' has a 'Physical Force' tag attached to it. But hey, if the reformation is successful, isn't that enough?
It took me a staggering ten years to get here.
They say people don't change?
Hmph. I don't know about that.
If you can't fix them, you just break them down and rebuild them from scratch.
"Listen well. The arrogance of one human standing above another is an attempt to turn humans into livestock. It's the act of viewing a person not as a person, but as a tool."
"…But isn't it only natural for the superior to lead those who are not?"
"Bullshit. The 'leading' you're talking about is pulling a rope attached to a beast's nose ring; it's not taking someone's hand and guiding them."
"If we do not do so, there are those who simply will not listen."
"That doesn't mean it's okay for a human to do things to another human that should never be done."
"A fellow… human…"
The newbie… no, the man named Tsukiyama Kagaya, wore a look of realization as I cleverly twisted and recited a famous scene from a Gundam series I saw ages ago.
I watched Hozuki—I mean, Kagaya—as he pondered with a serious expression, then I smirked and stood up.
Kagaya blinked and looked up at me the moment I rose.
"I shall accompany you."
"Forget it. My body's just stiff from sitting too long. I'm getting up to loosen my muscles for a bit."
"I see."
Leaving the nodding Kagaya behind, I twisted my body and stretched. Refreshing pops and cracks echoed from my bones.
By the way, it's been a thousand years since then. Is that bastard still not dead?
The sudden curiosity made me sit back down.
"Kagaya. Let me ask you something."
"Yes, ask me anything."
"Have you ever heard the name Tsunayashiro Jomon?"
As I felt a strange sense of nostalgia bringing up a name I hadn't uttered in ages, Kagaya's eyes widened. His expression was as if he were asking how I could possibly know that name.
"How do you know the name of our… our Founder?"
"That bastard was my disciple. Well, anyway. So you know the name, which means you know what happened to him. Is the guy still alive?"
"Pardon? Oh… He was perfectly healthy up until the moment I fell into Hell, so he is likely still in good health."
"Sigh, of course that motherfucker would live over a thousand years just to prove the saying that villains live long lives. Just how long is his life-thread?"
Is it because I've been talking shit about him behind his back here in Hell? They say you live longer if people badmouth you. I did insult that Tsunayashiro prick a bit, but was it really enough to sustain him for a millennium?
"Hmm…"
From what I know, the Captain Commander in the original story was perfectly fine even after living for over a thousand years, so maybe it's not that strange.
"Then forget about him. Tell me about the others."
"By 'others,' do you mean the Founders of the Five Great Noble Houses?"
I scratched my eyebrow at Kagaya's words. The 'Five' Greats… There's no way Ichibe Hyosube started a clan… Did they establish a new house?
'Knowing Tsunayashiro's personality, there's no way he'd allow that.'
The tomboy would have rebelled too. As for Shiba and Kuchiki… well.
No, let's just listen first. Thinking about it alone will only lead to misunderstandings.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure. I've heard enough about Tsunayashiro, so tell me about the rest."
"Then first… are you aware of all of the Five Great Nobles?"
"Shihoin Rasatsu, Shiba Shiryu, Kuchiki Myoren, and Tsunayashiro Jomon. I know those four, but I don't know the last one."
"I see. But you needn't worry about it. The Founder of the final house vanished after separating the Soul Society, the World of the Living, and Hueco Mundo."
"Right."
If there's a fifth house, does that mean they were the Five Great Noble Houses in the original story too? By the way, someone capable of dividing the Three Worlds…
"Now I'm curious. Do you know how strong that guy was?"
"Well… He is someone who disappeared more than a thousand years ago, and his existence is only preserved through oral tradition. Even I do not know for certain."
"…Sigh."
Got my hopes up for nothing. What use is it if you don't know the most important part? I thought there might finally be someone worth fighting, what a shame.
It's not that I love fighting, but perhaps because of the memories of clashing with the Soul King for a hundred years, my body feels itchy every now and then. It's that feeling of wanting to trade blows if there's someone strong out there.
'I'm just looking for a stimulus.'
Hell never changes, so there's nothing that could be called a stimulus. Thinking about it, it's just like the world before the Soul King appeared.
It's unpleasant.
Tsk, I smacked my lips and lay down on my side.
"Keep talking. I'm listening."
"Uh… there is lava coming from behind you. Are you alright?"
"There is a saying that if you empty your mind, even fire feels cool. Remember that."
"Ah, yes."
"And I won't die from something like lava. At most, it's like covering myself with a warm blanket."
"Ah… yes…"
"Anyway, forget about that and keep talking about what you were saying earlier. Focus on that 'last house' part."
"As for the other Four Great Noble Houses…"
"Those guys will manage fine on their own. They were always doing well even without me."
Man, why is my ear so itchy? Is someone badmouthing me? I picked at my ear and gave a long yawn, waving my hand to urge Kagaya on.
"Ahem! First, as I mentioned, please understand that everything regarding the Founder of the final house is strictly based on oral traditions, so I do not know the fine details."
"Yeah. I didn't expect you to know everything anyway. What would a branch member—and a bottom-tier one at that—really know?"
"…The Founder of the final house is said to be an individual of equal status to the Founder of our direct Tsunayashiro line."
Somehow, hearing that he was on the same level as that sinister bastard made him seem a lot less impressive. I blinked, recalling the face of Tsunayashiro as he trembled while denying reality.
Maybe it's because I know exactly what that gloomy prick is thinking. Indeed, anyone compared to a guy like him is a truly pitiable soul.
Well, I suppose he must be a big deal now, seeing as he's part of the 'Five Great Noble Houses.'
"Furthermore, it is said that he took the lead in dividing the Three Worlds, and then voluntarily stepped down and vanished to prevent infighting between the houses."
"He didn't even make any demands?"
"Well… at least from what I know, I've never heard of him demanding anything. It implies he was a very frugal person."
"In other words, he's a total pushover idiot who did all that hard work and couldn't even ask for one thing. Logically, if you divided the Three Worlds and all that, shouldn't you normally get something in return?"
"With my limited knowledge, I can only guess his intent, but perhaps he was satisfied simply by having achieved such a monumental feat?"
"So you're saying he's someone who only cared about appearances and had zero substance?"
How is that any different from passion pay?
'You did something great! You're the best! I'll give you the title of the Greatest Foreman of the Three Worlds! Nothing else changes, though!'
"What kind of dumbass is that?"
"…Should I stop?"
"No? Why? Listening while talking shit is the best part. Keep going."
"I see. Well, continuing on. The story usually ends with the lesson that we should emulate his frugality, integrity, diligence, and sincerity."
"So it ends as a moral lesson after all. But isn't there a name or something? Or maybe some unofficial histories?"
"Ah, I forgot to mention the most important part. His name is Shimon Meio. He is the Founder of the Shimon clan."
"Meio—the Bright Wisdom King. That's a damn grand name."
If he's a real Wisdom King, he should be spending time here in Hell with me. Where the hell is he wandering around with a title like 'Meio' without ever coming down to Hell? That prick.
"And it's not exactly an unofficial history, but I once overheard the elders of the family talking. They said the reason he vanished was that he entered Hell of his own accord to watch the gates and ensure they never opened…"
"…?"
Wait a minute… This sounds familiar…
As I sensed something strange and fell silent, Kagaya also shut his mouth and looked at me with trembling eyes.
"Hey, you bastard. Is that story about me by any chance?"
"C-Could you possibly be Lord Meio…!?"
"How should I know, you idiot?!"
That little piece of shit. Building up a whole new persona for me just because I wasn't there. It's so obvious what he was thinking that it makes me feel even worse.
'He's trying to drag me down to his level by giving me a name and calling us equals.'
It's crystal clear, especially considering he spread the word that we were on the same status. I scowled and stood up, shaking off the lava, when a memory from the distant past flashed through my mind.
—You are the fifth.
Ha, so that's what those words meant back then.
"Damn it! That Soul King son of a bitch!!"
"Gah!? P-Please don't thrash around like that!! The lava, the lava is splashing on meeee!!"
9,126 battles. 0 wins, 9,125 draws, 1 loss… shit.
No, wait.
'The one who survives until the end is the winner…'
9,126 battles. 0 wins, 9,126 draws, 0 losses.
That's how it is. I absolutely did not lose.
Letting out a deep sigh, I grabbed Kagaya—who had partially melted in the magma—and dragged him out of the flow.