I had a vague feeling ever since Kagaya appeared from behind the girl, but...
I never imagined things would turn into a disaster of this magnitude.
No, seriously.
Who would have thought a guy would drag his dying body into Hell just to conduct one-on-one counseling until every single sinner reached Nirvana?
At first, a blinding light erupted from between the Hell Gates, making me think a bomb had gone off. Then, suddenly, every presence I could sense in Hell vanished as if it had all been a lie.
I rushed into Hell in a panic, only to find a girl with a halo behind her head—just like Kagaya's—forcibly ejecting the sinners from Hell.
Every single one of them had a peaceful, enlightened expression as they scattered into dust.
Because of that, Hell ended up collapsing once.
"Well... I expected it, but... it really turned out like this in the end."
I did a very quick lap around Hell just in case, but as expected, there was no one. It was just like the first day I stepped foot in this place.
With every sinner except the Wardens gone, the same sense of emptiness I felt when I first arrived washed over me.
The image of that guy who abandoned his Pidgeot saying, 'Look, it's Pallet Town!' popped into my head unbidden.
Letting out a deep sigh, I wiped my face with my hands and flopped down onto the floor.
What should I do now...?
Should I start preparing for Hell: Season 2?
"I guess I have to..."
I've kept this place running for over 200,000 years. I can't exactly give up and wash my hands of it now.
With another heavy sigh, I thought of Jomon...
"...Fuck."
Now that I think about it, the Ten Kings were sinners too...
Just as I was seriously considering quitting, a few familiar presences manifested in Hell again.
"What the?"
They didn't just respawn like trash mobs; they popped out of thin air.
I blinked and looked toward the presences. The Ten Kings were sprinting toward me, their official hats askew and cold sweat pouring down their faces.
They looked absolutely pale and terrified. Even though I knew they wouldn't die unless something truly extraordinary happened, for a second, I thought they looked like they were running for their lives.
"What in the world happened!? Everything suddenly went bright, and the truths of the universe started pouring into my head! Something about there being no 'self' inside me—some total nonsense about—"
"What was that 'Om Mani Padme Hum' supposed to be...? No, 'all sins vanish and all merit arises'? It's only natural for sinners to pay for their crimes! And furthermore—"
"I can't tell you how shocked I was when Lord Kagaya, who had vanished since Hell was established, suddenly appeared before my eyes! No, but really, what on earth—"
Ten people shouting at once was enough to drive me insane.
You bastards, I'm not Prince Shotoku. I can't understand you if ten people talk at the same time.
I felt like telling them to shut up before I cracked their skulls open, but since I had a guilty conscience, I stayed quiet and listened to them rant.
"...Are you done?"
"...Yes. I've calmed down a bit."
Once they settled, I gave them a rough explanation of what happened and why. All ten of them looked horrified, and then they started spiraling again.
"Wait, so you're saying Hell, which we've maintained for over 200,000 years, was wrecked in a single day and there was 'nothing you could do'? Are you serious?"
"It's certainly a good thing in principle, but this is a bit..."
"If we hadn't already balanced the souls through the Six Realms of Reincarnation, the Three Worlds would have been severely shaken."
"No! Then you're saying all those bastards in Hell attained enlightenment without even paying for their crimes!? What kind of crazy talk is that!!"
"Rasatsu, you're too agitated. However, I must hear the full story as well. Master, how did this happen?"
"I rarely have reason to leave my post, so it's our first time meeting, and I'm truly sorry to speak like this... but have you lost your mind?"
In short, as the price for dropping a bomb—no, a living nuclear bomb—into Hell, I was being given a massive earful by the Ten Kings.
Actually, I was still getting chewed out in real-time.
From their perspective, their workplace had suddenly gone 'boom' for no reason, so it was only natural they'd be pissed. I scratched my head while listening to them drone on.
"Hey, I'm the one who made Hell, so why are you guys angrier than me?"
Honestly, I was pissed too.
I'd spent not a thousand, but tens of thousands of years playing SimCity with this Hell, only for it to collapse like a house of cards. Of course I was angry.
But it already happened. What were we supposed to do? What power did we have?
Besides grinding my teeth and sharpening my blade, swearing that I'd flip the whole table if this ever happened again, there was nothing else to be done.
"No, well..."
"I know what you're getting at. But what's the plan? We have no choice. Are we going to go out there ourselves and drag back every single person who reached Nirvana? Isn't there a clause saying once reincarnation is complete, they're considered separate from their past self?"
"If you hadn't opened the door in the first place..."
"Does someone who's meant to reach enlightenment just stop because a door is closed? Didn't you see Kagaya? That bastard is a guy who reached Nirvana while literally dying in Hell. Whether I opened the door or not, the result would've been the same. So instead of a useless power struggle and making an enemy for later, I figured I'd just let it happen once."
Since I was essentially saying Hell needed a reset anyway, the ones complaining began to shut up, letting out groans of frustration.
Of course, I understood their complaints, and my own mood wasn't much better, so I sighed and scratched my head again.
"Well... it already happened. Let's look on the bright side. Even without Ksitigarbha, we were going to have to flip the place eventually."
"You mean Hell?"
"Yeah. I saw some bastards trying to build secret hideouts under the noses of Ox-Head and Horse-Face. There's no point talking about it now, though."
Whatever!
"Since things turned out like this, let's just scrap it all and start over. It's a renovation."
I'd been killing time at the hot springs because I had nothing to do. This is actually fine.
It's shitty, it's annoying, it's a complete mess, but it's fine. It's for the best. That's what I chose to believe.
Because if I didn't think that way, I felt like I'd destroy Hell with my own hands out of pure futility.
I suppressed my surging emotions and continued.
"It's been 200,000 years, right? The place was starting to creak anyway. We can fix the maintenance, build new Blood Ponds, move the Nether King Palace and the Pure Spirit Hall... eh?"
I slung my arms over the shoulders of the two closest Kings and gave them a bright smile.
"Let's all work hard for just a bit longer."
"..."
I tried to change the mood, but the Ten Kings' expressions were still sour.
These bastards.
"Smile."
"Ha... haha."
"Haha, yeah. You guys like it, right? Now get back to work."
"You're coming too, Master."
"Of course. *Sigh*..."
Enlightenment or whatever, if anyone pulls this crap again, I'll fold them in half even if it means cutting ties with Kagaya.
I sharpened my internal blade and followed the Ten Kings back into Hell.
"Hey, by the way, you guys were enlightened too. Why did you come back?"
The ten of them looked at each other and nodded.
It was Shiryu who stepped forward as their representative.
"It's our sense of responsibility."
"You brat... saying something that actually touches my heart."
I chuckled and rubbed the tip of my nose. Rasatsu crossed her arms and let out a long sigh.
"Also, we were afraid that if we reached Nirvana right then and there, you'd find our reincarnated selves and drag us back to Hell regardless of the rules."
"You brat... saying something that actually pisses me off."
"AGAGAGAGAK!!"
Always ruining a good moment. Does this guy get more like a kid as he ages?
I gave him an Iron Claw to snap him out of it, and he started hopping around in 'joy.'
* * *
I called it maintenance, but it was essentially a total rework.
Yes, Hell: Season 2.
Usually, there's a stereotype that Season 2 ruins the franchise, but fortunately, Hell was such a mess to begin with that it didn't feel like it could get any worse.
In fact, the design became cleaner—you could even say it looked better.
First, I took the river from the Pure Spirit Hall that Kagaya had made. I made it longer and wider to create the Sanzu River.
In Bleach, Hell isn't for everyone; it's only for the true blue sinners, so it was technically meaningless, but it made for great landscaping.
Coastal towns have ocean views; Hell has Sanzu River views.
The pros? It's nice to look at a river, and occasionally watching sinners float by is good entertainment.
What's fun about watching sinners? Well... seeing them float by with their heads on fire makes it look like a Lantern Festival. It's quite a sight.
The downside is it's a bit noisy, but compared to other parts of Hell, this level of noise is positively civil.
And there were several other additions.
Inspired by the hot springs of Osorezan, I created the Hell of Boiling Blood Ponds, the Mountain of Needles, and some leisure spots the sinners can never access—like a football pitch, a gateball court, and a baseball stadium for me and the Kings to use when we're bored.
And...
"Whew... finally, it looks normal."
A grand palace was added, one that wouldn't lose to the Soul King Palace in terms of majesty.
"What the hell is this giant thing?"
"It is the Nether King Palace."
"The Nether King Palace I remember was a one-room studio."
"It is the Nether King Palace."
I sighed, looking at Jomon, who had become a 'Nether King Palace Bot.'
"Tear it down."
"That palace?"
"Yeah."
"Just so you know, the Nether King Palace has an automatic internal cleaning function."
"Fine, keep it then."
By the time we finished scrapping and rebuilding Hell, 780,000 years... then 980,000 years had passed.
Now, barely 20,000 years remained before the start of the original story.
Time really flies.