Difficult. It's so difficult.
I kept my mouth shut for a long time, held by Aizen's steady gaze. Then, I let out a deep sigh.
"My god... I never thought I'd have to rack my brains over such a headache again. I just want to live comfortably, but I keep poking my nose into these annoying affairs. I really am an idiot."
Muttering that, I propped my chin up with my hand and closed my eyes quietly.
First, let's organize what Aizen said.
A King must be a role model, a superman whom the people follow, or rather, whom they want to follow.
A King should not be chosen by another; they must be someone who sat on the throne of their own will, prepared to endure the weight of that seat.
An existence that merely exists is not suited for the throne of a King.
Therefore, the Soul King—an existence without autonomy, someone who was forced to take the seat by others—is not fit to be King.
If I set aside my personal views for a moment and look at this objectively... Aizen isn't wrong.
Of course, this isn't a "you're right, he's right" kind of neutrality. It's just that Aizen's logic actually holds water.
"A monarch must be an idol. Only then will the people follow. From your perspective, the current Soul King is just a vessel—lacking self-identity, will, and tossed about by others, making him redundant. That's what you're thinking, right?"
Yes. By that logic, Aizen is correct.
An incompetent King, one tossed about by others, is a disaster—worse than a tyrant, they are a wretched ruler.
But we aren't discussing a nation here. We are discussing a world.
We are discussing not a monarch, but a god.
If that is the case, the conversation changes slightly.
Is there a right answer to life? No, there isn't. There are only lives ranging from the best to the worst.
If the world becomes what Aizen claims, a "correct answer" will manifest for life. A correct answer... no, it wouldn't be a correct answer.
A 'Right Path' (Jeong-do) is created.
Yes, I suppose you could put it that way.
"In some ways, that might be good. It's a life where you just follow the path someone else paved for you. But if a god has a will, and following that god is the 'Right Path,' can those who follow him truly possess a will of their own?"
An existence that just follows the path chosen by someone else. An existence that just looks up at the sky and follows the stars above.
Can such a being truly say they live with free will? Can they truly say they are walking that path by their own volition?
Certainly, living such a life would leave no room for regret. Because they would have simply lived the life given to them faithfully.
But can we truly call that 'life'?
Well, that varies from person to person.
But at the very least, from my point of view, that cannot be called living.
"When do you think a human truly dies? When their heart stops and vital activity ceases? When no one remembers them? People have their own opinions, but I think like this. It is 'when they can no longer live by their own will'."
A life decided by another, a life following another, a life lived by someone else's proxy.
If we talk strictly in black and white, all those are considered 'alive'.
But if their own will is not present within it—if it is a life merely dragged about like an ox by a nose ring—then I believe they are dead despite being alive.
That is why I have lived by my own will. Not what others set for me, but entirely by my own.
Looking back at the past million years, that holds true. I have always lived that way.
I lived by my own volition, and I shouldered the responsibility for it.
Including the responsibilities and the regrets, I can proudly say I lived 'my life'.
"Humans have free will. That is what I believe. To force a predetermined path onto such beings... that sounds nothing short of trampling upon human free will."
I said I'd never do philosophy again. But if what I just said counts as philosophy, perhaps it's closer to existentialism.
After finishing my words, I opened my eyes again. Aizen organized his thoughts for a moment before opening his mouth.
"That statement holds a massive contradiction. If you say that failing to live by one's own will is no different from being dead, does that not mean the Soul King is also no different from the dead?"
I let out a sigh at those words.
Aizen smiled at my sigh, but I could only scratch my head with a heavy breath.
Come to think of it, I'm the only one who knows that. Is this what they call the 'curse of knowledge'?
Since I have no one else to talk to about that guy, the Soul King, I naturally ended up speaking only from my own standards.
"I should have set this as a premise before we started, but I forgot to mention it. The Soul King is alive. He possesses selfhood and autonomy. He also possesses will, and the reason he has maintained his silence until now is purely because he desires it."
"What do you..."
The emotions in Aizen's eyes shifted moment by moment at my words.
Doubt, anger, suspicion, shock, agony... Perhaps at this moment, an astronomical amount of information is swirling insanely inside his head.
"My apologies."
Before continuing, I bowed my head to apologize to the agonizing Aizen.
I suggested a discussion, yet I fell victim to the curse of knowledge and spoke only of things I alone understood. Naturally, I had to apologize.
"Having not talked to anyone about the Soul King for nearly a million years, I ended up speaking from my own standards without realizing it."
I smiled bitterly as I reflected on the landscape of that day, which still felt vivid.
The boundary where the desert and the meadow met. The boundary between life and death.
The conversation I shared with a man facing his end.
―It is where you and I first met. And... it will be where I see my end.
That guy already knew he would die.
Even though he foresaw his own end, he did not deny or resist it.
―I (Watashi). No, 'I' (Ware), was granted a reason for my existence at the very moment I was born into this world.
Until that end arrived, he simply lived, doing everything he could.
He accepted everything and lived his best, pouring his heart and soul into it. And in the end, he accepted his own death by his own will.
―So, watch over them. See to it that I do not kill them.
Even though death was right before his eyes, he offered no resistance, nor did he offer any excuses or explanations.
He complied with death while making such a plea, not for himself, but for others.
The Soul King was that kind of man.
That the Soul King was sealed away of his own volition is something unknown even to that baldy who fell into Hell, and even unknown to Jomon.
Because I never told them.
No, perhaps Jomon might have noticed. That's why he said he would stay by his side until the Soul King passed away and atone for his sins.
"In some ways, humans in the world you speak of might have to live a life like the current Soul King. One might conform to their given life, living that short span with fervor, staking their all on it. But the Soul King... if it's the guy I knew, he wouldn't wish for that."
But he would never show it to the very end.
Wishing for such a life, or trying to kill oneself to live such a life... these are all matters of human will.
"He believed in humans. He believed in human free will. That is why he says nothing and only watches quietly. The moment he intervenes, human free will would be trampled upon."
Even if that results in his own death, he would just watch.
"That is merely a thorough bystander. It is negligence...!"
"Ha. Perhaps so, lad. But humans are beings that grow through suffering and agony. If they cannot accept that and pass the burden onto others, they will never grow and will live forever like children. And you... you are trying to shoulder that pain yourself. You are trying to make a sacrifice, in a sense different from the Soul King."
My life is wrong because of the new Soul King, Aizen Sosuke. My life is painful because of the Soul King. My life is pathetic because of the Soul King. My life is lacking because...
"Humans are such treacherous and selfish creatures. If there is a being onto whom they can pass their burden, they end up shifting their pain and load to that existence without even realizing it."
Of course, there are beings who are not like that.
There are those who would take on even the burdens of others; could there really be no such person?
One who accepts the pain and agony that weigh them down, enjoying it and allowing it to foster their growth.
One who creates their own value.
A superman who overcame and transcended himself.
But those who can achieve that are merely a minority.
That is why they are called supermen.
"Are you prepared to live while shouldering the sorrow and pain of humanity, their accusations and rebukes?"
Becoming a King, becoming a God... that is what it means.
That is why I respect the Soul King from the bottom of my heart.
"I will neither affirm nor deny you. If you are prepared, do as you please. If you think the world you see with your own eyes is the right one, and you have the will to carry it through, I will not stop you."
As the Soul King did, if you too can do the same, then do it.
I closed my mouth after finishing my words.
Aizen Sosuke could not utter a word until the sun rose.
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