[LOCATION: BROOKLYN BRIDGE - OUTPOST 7] [TIME: 09:00 PM]
The rain in Sector 7 wasn't normal rain. It was acidic. It sizzled when it hit the pavement, smelling like burning plastic.
We stood behind a rusted overturned bus, staring at the Iron Vanguard blockade.
Outpost 7 was a fortress. Concrete walls, searchlights, and two massive auto-turrets tracking movement.
"Okay," I whispered, wiping rain off my [Debugger's Specs]. "This is a simple Raid. We go in, we break stuff, we loot the cache, we leave."
"Simple?" Dave squeaked, clutching his rusty revolver. "There are twenty guards! And they're Level 15!"
"And we have developer items," I reminded him. "Miller, you're up. Draw aggro."
Miller took a deep breath. He stepped out from behind the bus. He raised his black shield.
"HEY!" Miller shouted. "YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER!"
The searchlights snapped to him.
"Intruder!" a guard yelled. "Fire!"
Three crossbow bolts flew at Miller.
THWACK. THWACK. THWACK.
They hit the [Shield of Screaming Faces].
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE!
The shield didn't just block the arrows. It shrieked. A sound like a thousand nails on a chalkboard amplified by a stadium speaker.
The guards covered their ears, dropping their weapons.
"MY EARS!" one screamed, falling to his knees.
Then, the Reflect Effect kicked in.
The damage Miller would have taken was calculated, doubled, and sent back to the source.
CRACK.
The crossbow of the guard who fired the first shot suddenly exploded in his hands.
"What the hell?" the guard stared at the splinters. "My weapon just broke!"
"It works!" Miller laughed, marching forward while his shield screamed bloody murder. "I'm invincible! And annoying!"
"Sarah, Dave," I pointed. "Cover fire."
Sarah opened the [Book of Errors]. The black text glowed ominous purple.
"I... I can't read this one," she squinted. "It says [Nullify Gravity]? Is that safe?"
"Just cast it!" I yelled.
She pointed her staff at the left guard tower.
WHOOSH.
A purple bubble expanded around the tower. Instantly, gravity inside the bubble became Zero.
The guards inside started floating. Their coffee floated. Their weapons floated.
"I'm flying!" one yelled, paddling in the air.
"Pop the bubble, Dave!" I ordered.
Dave raised the [Rusty Revolver]. His hands were shaking. "It costs 50 Mana per shot! That's expensive!"
"Just shoot!"
Dave squeezed the trigger.
KA-BLAM.
A beam of blue mana tore through the rain. It hit the floating guard tower.
The impact wasn't just physical; it was a deletion of force. The tower didn't crumble; it disintegrated into blue dust. The floating guards fell twenty feet to the ground.
THUD.
"Holy..." Dave stared at the gun. "I want to name it. I'm calling it 'The Negotiator'."
"Incoming!" Miller yelled.
The gate opened. A massive figure stepped out.
[BOSS DETECTED: CAPTAIN BRUTUS] [LEVEL: 18] [CLASS: BERSERKER]
He was huge. He wore full plate armor and carried a greataxe that sparked with lightning.
"You think cheap tricks can stop the Iron Vanguard?" Brutus roared. He charged at Miller, raising the axe.
Miller braced himself. The axe came down.
CLANG.
SCREEEEEE!
The shield screamed, but Brutus didn't flinch. He was too high level. The reflection damage chipped his armor, but he didn't stop. He kicked Miller back.
"Weak!" Brutus laughed. "Is that all?"
He turned his eyes to me.
"You," he sneered. " The Potato. The Warden wants your head."
He charged at me.
I didn't move. I didn't draw a weapon. I just stood there, sipping my coffee.
"Jax!" Sarah screamed. "Run!"
"I don't run from Berserkers," I said calmly.
I brought up my console.
[TARGET: CAPTAIN_BRUTUS] [EQUIPMENT: AXE_THUNDER_RARE] [ARMOR: PLATE_STEEL_EPIC]
I couldn't kill him instantly. His HP was too high. But I could humiliate him.
> [SELECT: ALL_EQUIPMENT] > [ACTION: UNEQUIP] > [TARGET_INVENTORY: FULL]
"You can't unequip items if your inventory is full," I muttered. "So the items have to drop to the ground."
Brutus was five feet away. The axe was mid-swing.
I hit [ENTER].
POP.
Instantly, Brutus's armor vanished. His axe vanished. His helmet vanished.
He was standing in the middle of the bridge, mid-charge, wearing nothing but his polka-dot boxer shorts (the default underwear model).
"What?" Brutus stumbled, looking at his bare hands. "Where is my gear?"
The pile of his armor clattered to the ground behind him.
"You..." Brutus turned red. "You stole my pants!"
"I didn't steal them," I said, stepping back. "I just put them in the 'Lost and Found'. Dave, shoot him."
"With pleasure!" Dave aimed 'The Negotiator'.
KA-BLAM.
The blue beam hit Brutus in the chest.
CRITICAL HIT!
Without his armor, Brutus had zero defense. The mana bullet hit him like a truck. He flew backward, crashing into the gate of the outpost.
[BOSS DEFEATED]
The remaining guards looked at their naked, unconscious captain. Then they looked at Miller's screaming shield. Then at Sarah's gravity bubble.
They dropped their weapons.
"We surrender!" one yelled. "Don't delete our pants!"
"Wise choice," I said.
We walked into the outpost. The Supply Cache was waiting in the center—a heavy iron crate marked with the Vanguard logo.
Miller smashed the lock.
Inside were stacks of potions, high-quality rations, and—most importantly—Skill Books.
"Jackpot," Miller grinned, grabbing a [Taunt] skill book.
"We take it all," I said. "And we leave a message."
I walked over to the unconscious Brutus. I pulled out a marker (spawned from the Dev Box).
I drew a smiley face on his chest.
"Let's go," I said. "Before The Warden fast-travels here."
As we walked away from the burning outpost, leaving behind a naked captain and confused guards, I checked my notification log.
[REPUTATION UPDATE] [FACTION: IRON VANGUARD -> HATED (MAX)] [FACTION: THE PEOPLE -> HOPEFUL]
"Hopeful," I whispered.
For the first time since the apocalypse started, people weren't just scared. They were watching.
And the Potato was winning.