While Defence Against the Dark Arts was progressing steadily, the older students' "upgrades" to their alchemical golems were also advancing at full speed.
For students buried under crushing N.E.W.T. pressure, the golems became an outlet—so much so that all kinds of wild ideas, even downright bizarre functions, started appearing on them.
Some Hufflepuffs installed automatic fertilising and watering features. Some Ravenclaws tried to make the golems copy essays for them. And over in Slytherin… they were far more enthusiastic about hiding offensive magical circuits in discreet places on the golems' frames.
One evening, there came a knock on William's office door.
Charlie Weasley came in. Unlike his usual bright, easygoing self, he looked awkward—hesitating and fumbling for words before finally explaining why he was here.
"Professor Shafiq…" Charlie scratched at his signature red hair, sounding a little uneasy. "Um… my alchemical golem… Filch took it."
"Professor, do you think… maybe… you could talk to Filch for me?" He phrased it carefully, hinting rather than outright pleading. "We still need it for alchemy lessons later…"
William set down his quill and looked up, frowning slightly. "What—did you control it to cast spells at other students in the corridor?"
"It wasn't me controlling it…"
Charlie sighed, helpless, and laid out the whole story.
It turned out that earlier that afternoon, while Charlie was at Care of Magical Creatures near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, his two dear younger brothers: Fred and George, had secretly "borrowed" his golem.
After an illegal round of modifications, the twins stuffed the golem's internal cavity full of dungbombs they'd bought from Zonko's Joke Shop, then adjusted its firing mechanism.
According to Charlie, the upgraded golem was frighteningly accurate—high rate of fire, and it hit whatever it was aimed at.
Then the twins found their chance and used the golem to corner Percy at the far end of a third-floor corridor.
Faced with the dark barrel of the launcher and the threat of dungbombs, Percy initially reached for his wand in anger. But the school rule: No magic in the corridors—flashed through his mind, and in the end he lowered his wand in bitter resignation.
As he tried to cover his face with his robes and intimidate the twins with stern words, Filch appeared as if he'd crawled up from the floorboards, caught all of them red-handed, and pounced.
"And then?" William asked.
Charlie gave a wry smile. "At first Filch wanted to haul Fred and George off for detention—'casting spells in the corridor and throwing dungbombs.' But they argued with him. Loudly."
"They claimed they weren't even holding wands, so how could it be 'casting'? And the dungbombs were fired by the golem, not thrown by hand—so it was an 'unexpected mechanical malfunction of an alchemical product.'"
"Their logic nearly gave Filch apoplexy. He couldn't immediately find a rule that directly refuted them, so in the end, just to vent his anger, he confiscated the golem by force."
William frowned. "Did you tell Filch it's alchemy equipment—mine?"
"Fred and George said it on the spot," Charlie spread his hands. "I ran over and explained too, but Filch was furious and wouldn't listen. He treated it like contraband and locked it in his office."
William felt a headache blooming and rubbed his temple.
Same batch of golems, handed out for students to modify.
The sixth-years were perfectly fine, quietly working on their projects like model students.
But the seventh-years who are about to graduate, had already produced a second incident, right after Tonks blew a hole in the common room.
"Fine. I understand."
William rose and straightened his robes. "This time, I'll get it back for you. But Mr Weasley—if you can't keep control of your golem and someone uses it to cause trouble again, you can go ask Professor McGonagall to sort it out yourself."
"And I'll be talking about this in class tomorrow, too. As a cautionary example."
Charlie hurriedly agreed and followed William out.
---
At the same time, outside the caretaker's office on the ground floor—
Fred and George were lurking against the wall, whispering intensely.
"I'm telling you, our logic is airtight, George," Fred said, arms folded. "When we first came to Hogwarts, we read the rules from beginning to end. It clearly says 'no spellcasting in the corridors'—but it doesn't say 'no using alchemical golems in the corridors.'"
"Exactly, Fred," George nodded. "And the golem is teaching equipment issued by a professor. It isn't on the contraband list… at least not yet."
"Therefore," George concluded solemnly, "until Dumbledore updates the rules, Filch has no right to confiscate our personal property—er, I mean, Charlie's personal property."
They'd just settled on their wording and were about to march in and argue for the golem back when two figures appeared at the top of the stairs.
William descended first, expressionless. Charlie followed behind, looking obediently chastened.
"Good evening, Professor Shafiq!" the twins chorused in unison.
William glanced at them, gave a long, meaningful nod, said nothing—then knocked and entered the caretaker's office with Charlie.
Five minutes later…
The door opened again. The twins watched William and Charlie come out.
And behind Charlie, the slightly dim-witted-looking alchemical golem trudged along with heavy steps. There was even a faint lingering smell of dungbomb around what passed for its "mouth."
"As expected of Professor Shafiq," a voice said behind them with heartfelt admiration.
"Reliable as always."
The twins turned.
Percy was standing not far away. His hair was damp, and he smelled strongly of soap—like he'd just come from the bathrooms.
"Oh, give it a rest, Percy," Fred rolled his eyes. "You're only saying that because Professor Shafiq praised you during the extra session—called you 'the best student in your year.' Not because of this."
"Right," George cut in immediately, mimicking Percy's pompous tone. "'Oh, Mum, Professor Shafiq picked me as a learning prefect! He said I'm the best student in my year!'"
"How many times did he repeat that in the common room again? Nine? Ten?"
Percy's ears reddened, but he only huffed and lifted his chin. "Professor Shafiq wasn't wrong. It was recognition of my ability."
Then he fixed them with a stern look and began lecturing. "And you two, don't do this again and cause trouble for Charlie and the professor—"
With that, Percy hugged his books to his chest and strode off, head held high.
For once, the twins didn't argue back. They didn't even mock him.
Because once they calmed down, both of them thought of the same thing.
Something very strange.
When the corridor was empty but for them, Fred lowered his voice.
"George… don't you feel like something's off?"
"Very off, Fred." George's grin faded. He frowned. "Before we started, we saw Filch carrying Mrs Norris into his office and shutting the door. That's why we took the golem out."
"Exactly." Fred continued, voice tight. "From the moment we brought the golem to the end of the corridor, to cornering Percy, to Filch suddenly showing up and catching us… it was less than five minutes."
Their eyes met.
Hogwarts was enormous. Filch couldn't Apparate.
"Even if he went into his office and immediately came back out to patrol, at his usual speed there's no way he could've reached the far end of the third-floor corridor that fast."
"Unless…" George narrowed his eyes.
"Unless he can see through walls," Fred said, suspicion flashing in his gaze, "or someone secretly told him exactly where we were."
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