Chapter 4
After all the tests were finished, I found myself alone with Gendo again, only this time in his office. Captain Katsuragi had brought me here after a single phone call that made her face twist in an amusing grimace. Mumbling something under her breath, she practically forced me to the elevator and gave me directions on where to go—not that it was difficult to walk down a perfectly straight corridor to the only set of massive doors. Misato didn't come with me, citing another task assigned from above.
As I tried to enter the office, I almost bumped nose-to-nose with a gray-haired man who greeted me with a mocking look. I believe his name is Kozo Fuyutsuki, the Deputy Commander and, essentially, Gendo's right-hand man. I'd only seen him a couple of times before during annual meetings with my father. Since he vacated the office the exact moment my radiance arrived... there was no point in guessing what was up. It was all quite obvious.
Father didn't intend to waste time; he'd decided to conduct the one-on-one conversation I'd wanted right away.
"I have received the results of the medical examination from Dr. Akagi," Gendo said as I sat in the single chair facing the desk where he presided.
The office itself was, for lack of a better word, truly gargantuan. And so maddeningly empty that it created a stifling, oppressive atmosphere. The only thing that slightly saved me from falling into a state of despondency was a schematic depiction of a tree on the ceiling. If I remember correctly, it was something from Kabbalah. Sephirot? Or something like that. I never really delved into all that religious nonsense.
"And what can you tell me?" I tried to settle in more comfortably, attempting not to show my blatant discomfort with the surroundings.
Father offered a faint smile and took off his glasses, placing them carefully in a case in front of him.
Unexpected. I don't recall him ever going without them since Mother's death. It was even strange to see his tired, dark eyes, which left a mark of eternal sorrow on his face. Or something else in that high-flown style people love to use when they have nothing to say but feel the need to say something.
"I see you've kept yourself in shape, unlike most of your peers."
Smirking, I looked calmly at my father.
"My body is my temple," I said, scratching the scar on my wrist out of habit. "And like a good parishioner, I try to keep it clean."
In response to my words, Gendo gave a quiet snort, folding his hands in front of him.
"A temple is erected in the name of someone or something," his tone remained slightly indifferent. "To whom or what is yours dedicated?"
Despite his tone, a spark of curiosity flashed deep in his eyes.
Perhaps I should have been confused or taken a moment to think, but... it was amusing, because I knew the answer. Whether it was right or not didn't matter, but it was my answer.
"To the search for a path."
"A path to what?"
Closing my eyes for a second, I let out a soft sigh.
"To happiness," I said, offering a full, genuine smile without any practiced falsehood. "And as a consequence, I want to understand what 'happiness' is and how it manifests."
"And you don't know?" Gendo raised an eyebrow slightly.
Laughing, I shook my head.
"If I knew, I probably wouldn't be looking for it, right?" I added ironically. "Relying on the opinions of others in this matter... would be wrong. After all, everyone puts their own meaning into that word."
Father let out a long hum, falling silent for a couple of minutes as if lost in thought. Nevertheless, he didn't take his eyes off me, as if wanting to scan my very soul.
"Will you pilot the Eva?" Gendo asked, abruptly changing the subject and catching me slightly off guard.
Blinking, I leaned back, making the chair creak.
"The Eva?" I repeated automatically, a mental image of the huge purple robot submerged to its neck in orange liquid flashing through my mind. "Is that important to you?"
Now it was Gendo's turn to frown for a fraction of a second. However, his confusion lasted only a moment before he returned to his "stony" expression.
"Yes."
Crossing my legs, I placed my hands on my knees and tilted my head back.
"Are you expecting me to give my consent right now?"
"Exactly."
I exhaled through my nose, suppressing the urge to lick my lips. I shouldn't give away too many signals that I was very nervous right now.
"Are you afraid?" the man asked, as if reading my thoughts.
I closed my eyelids completely.
"Yes. I'm afraid," I admitted honestly. Hiding the truth in the current situation was pointless; there was no one around for whom it was worth playing the role of a self-confident teenager.
There were only two people here.
Me and my father.
"The purpose of Project Evangelion is the struggle against certain extraterrestrial forces. The key word is 'struggle,' which means only one thing: I will have to fight someone." Gathering my courage, I looked into Gendo's eyes again as he waited patiently for me to finish voicing my thoughts. "But I have never been a fighter in the literal sense of the word."
"That can be taught," my father parried.
"I won't argue. Nevertheless, you can teach a person to shoot at targets, but you can't instill a love for battle." I leaned forward. "Tell me, Father, are you sure I can do it?"
The man's lips curled up slightly at the corners.
"Shinji." For some reason, he looked... amused? "I know one thing: you are familiar with the word 'duty.' And you always follow it. At any cost."
A chuckle escaped my chest.
"You clearly have good psychologists," I noted, interlacing my fingers.
"The budget allows for it." I wonder if Misato knows that Father can speak in such a playful tone? I think if she heard it, she'd have a heart attack. "And yet—your answer?"
He certainly loves to settle matters on the spot without drawing them out.
Then again...
"Let me clarify one last time: you want to send your only underage son to pilot a giant machine for the purpose of destroying some aliens?" Receiving a short nod in response, I snorted. "Father, how often are you called insane?"
Getting up from the desk, Gendo walked over to me and extended his hand.
"To my face—only three people. And you are among them."
Looking at the offered palm, I massaged the bridge of my nose and, mentally saying 'to hell with it,' grasped it, rising from the chair.
"I knew you would agree."
Cracking my neck, I gave a crooked smile.
"Since when?"
Father, elegantly returning his glasses to their rightful place, measured me with a mocking look through the orange lenses.
"Since the moment you stepped into that train car."
"Where did that confidence come from? The psychologists' work again?"
"No."
Gendo released the handshake, placed a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it slightly.
"We are Ikari."
Looking into his eyes, all I could do was let out a raspy chuckle.
"Yes, Father."
I looked up at the massive Tree of Sephirot that stretched proudly across the ceiling.
"We are Ikari..."
---
Massaging my eyelids, tired after a long and tedious study of the contract, I finally straightened my back.
The Deputy Commander had walked in the exact moment we finished talking. I don't know if the man's intuition is that developed or if Gendo gave him some kind of signal, but Kozo-san arrived immediately with a stack of papers which he proudly handed to me.
As it turned out, Father felt that a simple verbal agreement wouldn't suffice, so he'd arranged a small session of bureaucratic hell. On the plus side, I learned the following: I will be paid well (very well by the standards of the average national salary), receive full maintenance during my employment, and have an additional opportunity for early retirement. However, in exchange, I will have to attend all training sessions without question, not miss medical check-ups, and contribute in every way to the destruction of the otherworldly infestation.
What kind of infestation specifically wasn't clarified—just a vague wording like "an external enemy threatening the integrity of the country." Most likely, Gendo couldn't provide more detail even if he wanted to, at least until I reached some level of security clearance.
No surprise there. Such things are always kept under strict secrecy.
"So, we have only one unresolved issue left." Taking back the papers where I had placed my final signature, Fuyutsuki turned his gaze to his boss. "Where will Shinji-kun live?"
Father tapped his finger thoughtfully on the desk.
"Two options: either here, there are living quarters available. Or somewhere in Tokyo-3, but..."
Grunting, I crossed my arms over my chest.
"But I'll need to be with an adult since I'm still a minor. Although," I smiled slightly, looking at Gendo, "I imagine it wouldn't be difficult for you to bypass that restriction in my case?"
Kozo let out a quiet laugh, squinting slightly.
"Are you planning to take advantage of the Commander's position, Shinji-kun?" There was no judgment in his voice, only pure curiosity.
I shrugged.
"I see nothing reprehensible in that." My conversational partner arched an eyebrow, expecting me to continue. However, no further elaboration followed from my side. Sometimes it's better to limit oneself to a short answer than to let your thoughts wander, risking digging a hole for yourself that would be hard to climb out of.
As for my words...
I truly believe that if there is a legitimate and (relatively) legal opportunity to improve your life, it's better to take it. And certainly not suffer from conscientious pangs. I didn't exactly see myself as a saint.
As they say, if you want to live, you have to know how to hustle.
"Would it be uncomfortable for you to share a roof with someone?" Gendo clarified, having almost no reaction to my previous statement, apparently considering it perfectly normal.
I tapped my finger on the elbow of my other arm.
"It's not that..." I eventually replied. "Everything will depend on the person's character type, because if our interests and worldviews are diametrically opposed, it will be hard to avoid conflicts. For example, the years I spent under my uncle's 'guardianship' could be considered a model. He didn't bother me, and I didn't bother him. Mutually beneficial cooperation in the name of common goals."
Fuyutsuki laughed again, this time looking much more surprised than before.
"I see your son really hasn't fallen far from the tree," the man said with a glint in his eye as he looked at my father.
"That is perfectly logical," the Commander confirmed his deputy's words. "Nevertheless, despite his arguments, I still believe he needs to be under constant supervision, much like the pilot of Eva-00."
Hearing this, I leaned forward with interest.
"There's another pilot?"
"There is," Gendo smiled. "And you will meet her soon."
"Her"? So, it's a girl?
Intriguing.
"In any case," Kozo coughed, not letting us drift away from the original topic. "At the moment, we only have one available employee with the appropriate clearance level to act as Shinji-kun's external guardian."
Only one?
It seems they are really short on staff.
"And who is it?" I cut in rather rudely, ignoring politeness.
Instead of Fuyutsuki, Gendo answered me, hiding the lower part of his face behind his clasped hands.
"Captain Katsuragi."
Blinking, I stared at my father in bewilderment.
"Misato-san?.."
I replayed the girl's image in my head.
Quite cheerful, clearly with some screws loose, and someone with whom I had established a somewhat ambiguous relationship. Despite that, communicating with her had been quite pleasant. At least until I touched on a subject that made the Captain suddenly shut down.
"Does that not suit you?" Gendo asked seriously, and I could tell that if I refused, he wouldn't insist on the candidate.
Thoughtfully chewing my lower lip, I weighed the pros and cons, then grunted.
"No, Father. It suits me." A smile crept onto my face. "It certainly won't be boring with her."
"Is that the only deciding factor?" Fuyutsuki squinted.
I gave a pious nod.
They aren't stupid; they should understand that my consent was backed by more than just that.
Living under the same roof as an attractive girl? Who is also older than me?
I certainly wasn't going to let that opportunity pass.
One must occasionally treat one's puberty to new challenges...
---
Misato took the news that a new tenant would be appearing in her apartment stoically. The only thing she allowed herself was a quiet sigh and a mutter along the lines of "abuse of official authority." However, she didn't argue with my father.
"Is there anything else you need to buy in the way of supplies?" Katsuragi asked as we used a different elevator to reach the platform leading out of the mountain.
Funnily enough, this procedure took many times less time than the first trip into the depths of NERV. Had they stretched it out on purpose just to add significance to the event, to let me simmer in anticipation?..
"Possibly," I said, taking the passenger seat after she unlocked the doors. "I've brought everything for the first few days; the rest I'll likely have to buy as I go."
"Understood." Buckling up, Katsuragi started the car with a flourish, making the tires give a mournful screech. "We'll hit a store on the way and then go straight home. I don't know about you," the girl yawned and blinked, "but I'm dead tired and just want to rest."
Crossing my legs, I propped my head on my fist, watching the line of lamps built into the walls, which gradually merged into a single line as we picked up speed.
"I fully support that," I replied distantly. "Besides, I'm sure you don't have orange juice in your fridge."
A dejected sigh came from Katsuragi's side.
"Shinji-kun, tell me, why this obsession with oranges?"
Ah, there it is—the question everyone asks once they get to know me slightly better than "hello-goodbye."
"They're tasty." Glancing sideways, I caught the look of bewilderment on the Captain's face. Ah, the golden classics. "What did you expect to hear, Misato-san? There are no sacred meanings here, no hidden double bottoms related to some childhood trauma. I just like oranges. That's all."
Bursting out of the tunnel, we were hit by the scarlet light of the setting sun, forcing me to squint, unlike the girl who had put on her glasses in advance.
"Kind of boring. I thought you had something special connected to it," a hint of disappointment flickered in my companion's voice.
Laughing quietly, I leaned back.
"You know, Misato-san, sometimes true happiness lies in insignificant little things."
"What are you on about now?"
Sighing, I shook my head.
"Nothing." The car skidded slightly at a turn, but I managed to grab the handle above the door to keep my head from hitting the glass. "Just thinking out loud."
"Careful," the Captain smirked. "It's not far from there to insanity."
I turned to her.
The girl was sitting relaxed, steering with one hand and resting the other out of the slightly open window.
"There are no healthy people in the world." I couldn't help but lock my eyes on the cross necklace glinting on her neck. "Only those who haven't been fully examined."
Misato laughed gaily and, lowering her glasses, looked at me with a playful spark in her eyes.
"Shinji-kun, you know, now I'm sure you're a real teenager."
I frowned in confusion, not quite understanding how she'd reached that conclusion. Noticing this, my companion decided to reveal the reason.
"You lot love to say those 'cool' things with a serious expression." Giving me a final wink, she returned her attention to the road.
Not at all offended by her remark, I smiled, pushing the seat back and lowering the backrest.
"Better a 'cool' teenager than a boring adult or a naive child." Tucking my hands behind my head, I watched the air freshener styled like a Christian cross swaying back and forth.
"You like to stand out?" Katsuragi slowed down slightly as we descended the mountain and entered the city limits.
"Who doesn't?" I asked rhetorically. "I doubt anyone takes pleasure in associating themselves with the gray, faceless mass."
My phrase earned me another chuckle.
"Definitely a teenager."
I gave her a sidelong glance.
"You say that as if you don't know my age. Or," I grinned, "do you think I'm actually an alien from the planet Nibiru who, having seized the body of Commander Ikari's son, plans to conquer the whole world with his magnificent charisma and charm?"
Stopping at a traffic light, Katsuragi gave me an unreadable look.
"You know," she drawled in a surprisingly serious tone. "As I've long realized, in our world, even that is possible."
I scratched the scar on my wrist.
Hmm, if you think about it, there's a certain amount of truth in Misato's remark.
After all, just today I learned that my father is the head of some large organization dedicated to creating giant robots to fight otherworldly creatures. Therefore, the theory that I am a hypothetical body-snatcher who threw the original owner of the body to the back of his mind has a right to exist.
"Don't worry, it was a joke." I surfaced from my thoughts, noticing that we had quietly pulled up to a hypermarket.
"I know." Killing the engine, Misato got out of the car and gave a sweet stretch. "Get out; it's time for a shopping session."
"Why the confidence?" I followed her example, though without the stretching.
The woman, locking the doors, twirled the keys on her index finger and bared her teeth.
"If it were otherwise, you wouldn't be in this world anymore." The smile didn't leave her face, but her gaze turned noticeably cold.
I just smirked at that.
---
The elevator gave a nasty chime and forced its doors open, letting us out.
Holding bags filled to the brim with groceries, I waited for Misato to rummage through her pockets, pull out a key card, and swipe it across the scanner to open her domain.
"Well then, welcome!" She hospitably extended her arm, indicating I should enter the hallway first. "Make yourself at home. This is your place for the foreseeable future."
Stepping inside, I immediately kicked off my shoes and only then looked around.
A wide corridor with half-empty hangers branched off. On the right side were three living rooms; on the left were the bathroom, kitchen, and a kind of living room.
Not a bad apartment, not bad at all. Renting something like this in my previous city would have cost a pretty penny.
"Don't just stand there like a statue; take everything to the kitchen," Katsuragi gently nudged me in the back. "Frozen stuff in the freezer, just leave the nuggets out. Beer in the main section, but leave one pack out. I've had a really hard day today."
Listening with half an ear to the instructions, I said nothing about the sudden distribution of duties. Instead, I marched briskly to the kitchen, where I dumped the bags of groceries on the table.
And almost immediately froze, realizing someone was already in the room.
Namely, a large warm-water penguin with a red crest and a collar that read: "Pen-Pen."
Looking at me, he made a guttural sound and, giving a salute, waddled in a funny gait to the refrigerator. Opening it, the penguin looked at me again, showed two claws for some reason (which he shouldn't have had, in theory), and climbed inside, closing the door behind him.
Scratching my chin, I shrugged.
Well, some people keep spiders as pets, right? Why not a penguin if the living conditions are suitable?
Tossing aside thoughts of the strange creature, I began unpacking the groceries.
They didn't feature much variety: four packs of beer, an indecent amount of frozen food, a couple of kilos of oranges, three boxes of orange juice, bread, and eggs.
There was no need to guess which of these were intended for me or Misato.
Quickly sorting everything into sections and leaving out what Katsuragi had asked for, I immediately latched onto the coveted box of life-giving nectar right then and there.
Nothing compares to the way a burst of vitamins, tinged with a sweet-tart citrus flavor, goes down the throat into the stomach, filling the body with unprecedented strength and energy.
"You're really going at it," noted the Captain as she walked into the kitchen, having changed in the meantime.
Pulling away from the juice, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, watching her.
The girl, wearing indecently short denim shorts and a short black top that offered a view of a toned belly, popped a can of beer out of its pack and, without delay, practically drained it in one go. Then, duplicating my gesture, she briskly wiped the foam from her lips.
Exhaling with satisfaction, Misato squinted happily and flopped onto the nearby table, stretching out her shapely legs.
"What are you standing around for?" Reaching for a second can, she wiggled her toes. "Get changed. And then we'll figure out exactly how to cook the nuggets."
Casting another glance at her chest, tight against the top, I grunted.
"Are there options?"
"There are, there are." She waved her hand as if shooing me away. "But get changed first. We'll discuss it after. Your room, by the way, is the last one down the hall."
The room assigned to me wasn't particularly special—just a standard room. A rolled-up futon by the wall, an empty desk with a chair, and a wardrobe with a full-length mirror standing nearby. Nevertheless, there was enough free space to add more furniture if I wanted.
Tossing off my sweatshirt and pants, I dug into my bag, pulling out my favorite tank top (orange, of course) and some plain black shorts.
Looking at the rest of my things, I sighed mentally.
Yes, if I'm going to live here, I should think about restocking my wardrobe. I don't want to ask my uncle to mail my clothes. Better they stay there, in case I ever visit or move back for good. No one knows how Destiny will turn on you tomorrow...
Taking a final look in the mirror, I grunted with satisfaction and, making sure the door was tightly closed, flexed my muscles. Nothing special, just simple daily bodyweight exercises, but at least I don't look like a toothpick that could be snapped with a flick of a finger. However, I'm far from professional powerlifters or bodybuilders, as I've always worked on endurance rather than muscle mass. Though sometimes the urge arose to go to the gym so I could later push passersby aside with a broad stride.
The doorbell distracted me from my thoughts.
Is someone here?
Pushing the bag against the wall, I walked briskly to the door, slid it aside, and stepped into the corridor just as Misato was letting the guests in.
"Ritsuko!" Katsuragi, beaming with a smile, hugged... the doctor? "I thought you wouldn't make it out of the lab until midnight."
Right, Ritsuko Akagi in the flesh. Question: what is she doing here?
Wait. And not just her. There was another individual with her, standing silently to the side.
"Yes, yes." Sighing, the blonde weakly pushed her friend aside and, greeting me with a nod, added: "We ran out of food. Is there anything?"
The Captain laughed happily and, putting an arm around Ritsuko's shoulder, led her to the kitchen.
"Of course! Shinji-kun and I just stocked up! We can all eat together, right, Rei-chan?"
The girl with long blue hair and crimson eyes like blood said nothing, continuing to stare at me without blinking. She was dressed in a long oversized home t-shirt with a skull print and baggy black pants.
"Rei!" Noticing this, Akagi frowned. "Behave yourself."
Rei, stopping her boring into my person, slowly turned her head toward the blonde and then...
Gave her the middle finger.
Coupled with her absolutely stony expression, it looked so surreal that I couldn't help but snort loudly.
Hearing this, the girl turned her gaze back to me, accompanied by that same extended middle finger, only now I was the target.
I don't know who she is, but...
I repeated the gesture in response, adding a smirk, which made Misato sigh dejectedly and bury her face in her hand, while Ritsuko massaged the bridge of her nose.
... I like her already.