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"You little pervert. Eyes up here."
Tsunade caught his stare. She raised an eyebrow, a glint of playful mockery in her eyes. Seriously? This kid was staring at her chest? Boys being little perverts were a dime a dozen, but a girl this shameless? That was a first.
"Sister Tsunade, could you put me down, please?"
Psychologically an adult, Heshu really hated being dangled in mid-air like this. The position made it nearly impossible to control his line of sight. He'd tried very hard to restrain himself. But the view wasā¦ distractingly white.
He forced his gaze up to the glaring fluorescent light on the ceiling and stared until his eyes watered. Let the tears wash away his sinful thoughts!
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju +20!]
The system's chime made Heshu's eyes light up. He thought for a second and understood why. No woman could resist the magic of being called "Sister."
"Heh. You've got a smooth tongue, you little pervert," Tsunade said, finally placing him on the floor. She flicked her long blonde hair back, a proud smile on her face that looked as fresh as a twenty-year-old's. "You never told me your name. What are you doing at the hospital? And what the hell was that thing you just did?"
She leaned forward, hands on her knees, her amber eyes locked onto his. She narrowed her beautiful eyes slightly. A flicker of surprise crossed her mind. Was it her imagination, or did this kid's eyes carry a strange, subtle pressure?
"Sister Tsunade, I'm Tsukimi Heshu. I'm here to see my uncle," Heshu said softly. He lifted his gaze, his blue eyes gleaming under the hospital lights, wide and dewy.
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju +30!]
Heshu's eyes practically sparkled. This was increasing fast!
"What I didā¦ it's my bloodline limit," he whispered as an explanation.
Tsunade mentally ran through the known clan names of Konoha. 'Tsukimi' wasn't one of them. A civilian? A first-generation bloodline user? She suppressed her thoughts for now. "Who's your uncle?"
"His name is Takenouchi."
"Hah?" Tsunade's confusion was plain on her face. "You're Tsukimi Heshu. Your uncle is Takenouchi?" She remembered Takenouchiāa gravely wounded soldier evacuated from the front lines yesterday. She'd even supervised his surgery.
The moment she said it, Heshu's shoulders slumped. He looked down, his voice small. "Uncleā¦ adopted me."
Tsunade froze. Damn. Wrong thing to say. Seeing the little pervert look so dejectedā¦ it tugged at her heartstrings.
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju +40!]
"Yugao," Tsunade said, clearing her throat awkwardly. She turned to the purple-haired kunoichi behind her. "Take her to see Takenouchi."
Uzuki Yugao nodded. Looking at the despondent Heshu, she felt a pang of sympathy. Heshu, fully immersed in his role as a wounded orphan, was suddenly scooped up into someone's arms again. Surprise flashed across his face.
"There, there. Don't be sad. Sister will take you to your uncle," Yugao said softly, tilting her head. Warmth shone in her gentle eyes.
Wowā¦ Heshu's inner voice wailed. This is the treatment girls get?
He vowed, right then and there, to be a crossdresser for life. The system silently recorded the scene for its archives. Heshu wrapped his arms around Yugao's neck, buried his face in the sweet scent of her neck, and let a devious little smile curl on his lips.
ā¦
In the hospital room.
After politely seeing Yugao out, Heshu settled onto the small couch and opened the container of shrimp porridge.
"Mmm~" The fragrant aroma filled the air. Heshu smiled, satisfied.
"Heā¦ shuā¦"
A raspy, grating voice, like it was being forced through a broken bellows.
Heshu's gaze shifted to the mummy on the bed. Takenouchi's eyes were barely open, a sliver of consciousness showing. His nostrils flared slightly. He seemedā¦ agitated.
Heshu jumped off the couch and rushed to the bedside. "Uncle! You're awake!" He stared intently at Takenouchi, reaching out a small, pale hand. He seemed to want to touch him, but then, fearing it might hurt, carefully withdrew it.
Takenouchi saw it all. His heart ached. This childā¦ she must have been so scared while he was out.
"Uncle, do you want some water?" Heshu asked. Takenouchi's lips were parched and cracked. Heshu fetched a cup of warm water.
Takenouchi managed a strangled, "Yes."
Heshu patiently helped him sip the water. A single cup took nearly ten minutes. Throughout, Heshu showed no impatience.
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Takenouchi +95!]
So far, apart from the emotionally stunted Obito and the frankly mindless A.Fly, Takenouchi had the highest affection rating among the living.
Heshu then brought over the shrimp porridge. "Uncle, you must be hungry. Want some porridge?"
Takenouchi looked at Heshu's sparkling eyes, a pang of guilt hitting him. He'd only just adopted her, and now she had to take care of him.
"Thisā¦ porridgeā¦ you made it?" Takenouchi eyed the dish, thinking of the days he'd been absent. She must have learned to cook on her own. The thought made his heart ache more.
"Um," Heshu felt the weight of the container in his hands. Without a blush or a skipped heartbeat, he nodded. "Yes! Butā¦ I'm not sure if it's any goodā¦" He lowered his head appropriately, offering a shy, timid smile.
A little white lie is fine. It's not like I can't cook.
The warm water had helped. Takenouchi's voice was a bit clearer. "Anything Heshu makesā¦ will be delicious."
He meant it. This wasn't just shrimp porridge. This was porridge made by his daughter!
And indeed, the porridge was delicious. Still immobilized, Takenouchi relied on Heshu's careful feeding to taste its flavor.
Midway through, Yugao, having heard Takenouchi was awake, came to check. She saw Heshu feeding him and heard Takenouchi's proud boast that Heshu had made the food herself. Yugao's affection for Heshu skyrocketed.
At noon, to further express his filial devotion, Heshu decided to personally make lunch for Takenouchi.
The system cheered wildly. Culinary skill was a must for a master seducer-host, but Heshu was lazy. Apart from that one time making a lunchbox for Kakashi, no amount of persuasion from the system could get him to cook again. His voluntary offer today was a cause for celebration.
Three hours later, as usual.
Heshu emerged from the kitchenāwhich looked like a battlefieldāholding an exquisite lunchbox. He could already picture Takenouchi's tearful, touched reaction.
"Uncle, I made this lunchbox myself!"
Under Takenouchi's expectant gaze, Heshu opened the lid. The aroma of food filled the air. Cream stew, crab roe porridge, dry-fried shrimp.
Takenouchi approached the meal with near-religious devotion, ready to savor every bite of his daughter's lovingly made lunch.
An extreme, overwhelming saltiness exploded on his tongue. It felt like his skull was being cleansed by pure sodium. For a moment, his soul seemed to leave his body. He was walking through the gates of the afterlife all over again.
Heshu, who had been watching his reaction closely, raised an eyebrow. That dramatic? It's this good already? A swell of pride filled him. Even the system was surprised at the profound impact. It seemed Heshu had taken a giant leap forward on his path to becoming a qualified host.
"Waitā¦ no!" Heshu jumped off the bed.
Takenouchi's lips were turning purple. His pupils were unfocused. This wasā¦
Without a second thought, Heshu bolted.
"SISTER TSUNADE!"
"SISTER YUGAO!"
His shouts echoed through the hospital.
"What is it?" Tsunade's figure appeared swiftly, her golden bangs still settling from the movement. "What's wrong, you little pervert?" She reached out and pinched his cheek.
"My uncle!" Heshu cried.
Tsunade understood instantly. She rushed into the room. Her eyes swept over the elegant dishes on the nightstand before landing on Takenouchi. Seeing his asphyxiating state, she frowned. This shouldn't be happening. Post-surgery, he was completely out of danger. Why sudden asphyxia?
She examined his pupils, lips, and tongue closely. Realization dawned. She grabbed a large jug of water from the bedside and poured it straight into Takenouchi's mouth.
Heshu stared, stunned. This is treatment?
The water seemed to vanish into a bottomless pit. When half the jug was gone, Heshu watched in amazement as Takenouchi's pupils snapped back into focus. Heshu sighed in relief. Weird method, but the results were undeniable.
"Uncle! Are you okay? You scared me!" Heshu rushed forward, leaning over the bed, tears of genuine worry welling up in his eyes.
Takenouchi lay there, his spirit utterly crushed. He looked at Heshu with a profoundly complex expression.
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Takenouchi 94!]
Heshu was busy trying to get a tear to cling to his eyelashes. That always made him look extra pitiful. Butā¦ wait. He paused. Why did Takenouchi's affection drop a point?
"Sister Tsunade, whatā¦ what happened to my uncle?" Seeing that no answer was forthcoming from Takenouchi's soul-departed face, Heshu switched targets.
Tsunade looked at him in silence. Her stare made Heshu's hair stand on end.
"He was dehydrated," Tsunade said slowly, a deep suspicion growing in her mind.
"Dehydrated?" Heshu glanced at Takenouchi. He'd been giving him water on schedule!
"But I give Uncle water every hour," Heshu said, looking up with his big, round, upturned eyes. His blue gaze was pure as a mountain lake.
Tsunade felt a twinge of shame for her suspicion. The kid was a pervert, but she seemed filial. Probably couldn't do something so diabolical.
"Did youā¦ make this food?" Tsunade decided to change the subject. The human body could mysteriously dehydrate sometimes. Yes. That must be it. She nodded firmly to herself.
"Mhm!" Heshu nodded proudly. He wanted the whole hospital to know that Tsukimi Heshu had personally cooked a delicious meal for her dear uncle.
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju +50!]
"You're pretty capable, kid," Tsunade said. It was lunchtime, and she hadn't eaten. The sight of the beautifully arranged food made her stomach growl. Her stare was a little too obvious.
Heshu caught on. "Sister Tsunade, why don't you try some? I made an extra portion." This was actually his own lunch. But for the sake of affection points, he'd sacrifice it gladly.
Takenouchi finally reacted. A light shot from his eyes. It looked like he was trying to sit up.
"Hm?" Tsunade glanced at the suddenly animated Takenouchi and laughed. "Don't be so stingy, Takenouchi-san! Let me have a taste of the kid's cooking!"
Takenouchi didn't calm down. The look he gave Tsunade was indescribable. Pity, mixed with a deep, profound guilt.
What the hell? Tsunade shook her head to clear the thought.
"Wow!" Tsunade rubbed her hands together as Heshu opened the second lunchbox in front of her. "It looks absolutely delicious!"
Unlike the immobilized Takenouchi, she grabbed a spoon and scooped a huge mouthful of crab roe porridge.
Heshu waited confidently for the system's chime. Hmph! Everyone is destined to fall before my culinary prowess.
The smile on Tsunade's face froze. What she had in her mouth wasn't porridge. It was a bomb.
Three minutes later, the bomb detonated.
Heshu was thrown out of a first-floor hospital window by Tsunade. He landed lightly on the grass outside, utterly bewildered.
"What the hell?"
"What went wrong?"
He'd shared his food. His attitude was impeccable. So why had he been thrown out?
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju 45!]
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju 40!]
[Ding! Affection for Strategy Target Tsunade Senju 30!]
What in the world? The rapid-fire system chimes left Heshu completely lost.
"Heshu? Why are you outside?"
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