Chapter 21: Leonard and Penny's 'Date'
"Baking booty call?" Caroline happened to walk by and burst out laughing: "Oh my god, Ethan, you know her too well. To Max, an oven is way more important than any boyfriend."
"At least an oven won't hog my bed or grope me in my sleep." Max rolled her eyes, then stared at Ethan with obvious suspicion:
"You've been buying me way too much stuff lately, Doctor. Last time it was the window AC unit, now it's a commercial oven.
If you get me a dishwasher next, I'll seriously have to consider whether I should just marry you."
Caroline poked her head out from behind the register: "Remember to give me advance notice when you propose; I can decorate the diner."
"Knock it off." Max glared at her, then turned back to Ethan. "Seriously, what's your angle? Why do you apologize with appliances every time you screw up?"
"It's just my way of expressing genuine apologies to you and Caroline for yesterday." Ethan spread his hands: "Would you prefer I send flowers and Godiva chocolates instead?"
"Flowers die within a week, and chocolate goes straight to my ass," Max replied matter-of-factly. "Appliances, at least, earn their keep."
Ethan smiled: "I knew you weren't the type of woman who gets swept off her feet by cliché romance."
As he spoke, he glanced at the menu and ordered an absurd amount of food without hesitation.
Max: "Are you starving to death? Didn't you eat the cupcakes I left you?"
"Devoured them," Ethan replied with a smile, "but those were just an appetizer. Right now, I could eat an entire Thanksgiving turkey by myself!"
A few minutes later, Max brought over a plate of fresh cupcakes: "The new oven hasn't been installed yet; these are the final masterpieces of the old warrior."
"I'm sure it's retired with full honors." Ethan smiled as he accepted them: "These are now limited edition collector's items."
He proceeded to eat ravenously—two double cheeseburgers, a mountain of fries, Caesar salad, and the cupcakes, leaving not a single crumb behind.
From last night until now, he'd barely eaten a proper meal.
A nearby customer couldn't help but whisper: "Did that guy just get dumped or something?"
Watching him demolish food from across the diner, Caroline couldn't help but laugh: "I think it's the opposite; he's about to make a certain girl fall hard for him."
"Don't be ridiculous." Max looked up, her tone slightly irritated, "We're still just friends with benefits, okay? Friends with benefits."
After saying this, she continued wiping down tables.
Ethan looked up: "Don't worry, I have no plans to change our relationship status anytime soon."
Max gave a light snort: "Good."
Ethan left extra cash when he paid: "A generous tip for my FWB and her roommate—by the way, if I ever got upgraded to actual boyfriend status, would I get a discount on meals?"
He finished with a grin and turned to leave.
When Ethan pushed open the door to apartment 4A, a bizarre focused silence filled the living room.
Sheldon, Raj, and Howard were sitting rigidly at the dining table, all three looking as concentrated as if they were defusing a live bomb.
On the table stood a precarious tower of Jenga blocks, each piece slightly tilted, looking like it could collapse catastrophically at any moment.
"What are you guys doing?" Ethan asked as he hung up his jacket.
Raj raised a finger in a urgent "shush" gesture, his eyes locked unblinkingly on the tower: "Don't make a sound—he's at the critical extraction phase."
Sheldon held his breath, keeping his hands surgically steady, and carefully extracted a middle block, placing it precisely on top of the tower—the entire structure wobbled dangerously but miraculously stabilized.
Then Sheldon exhaled dramatically and raised both hands triumphantly: "Bazinga! Sheldon Cooper—the undisputed Jenga master!"
Ethan was genuinely puzzled: "Since when did you guys... regress to playing primitive wooden block games?"
Sheldon turned his head sharply: "The internet's been down for an hour, Ethan—a full sixty minutes!"
"An hour?" Ethan was momentarily stunned: "Have you called Time Warner Cable?"
Howard: "We've already called three times, once each."
"Okay," Ethan said. "Then I'm confident they now fully understand the existential importance of internet connectivity to this apartment."
He dropped onto the couch, watched them continue their game, and asked casually: "What have I missed these past few days?"
Sheldon looked up, his face radiating pride: "I finally obtained the Warglaives of Azzinoth!"
Howard: "Leonard says Penny's dating some new meathead."
Raj: "Leonard got brutally rejected by Leslie Winkle."
Sheldon: "Leonard expressed interest in adopting a cat."
Howard: "Leonard actually went on a date with Penny."
Raj: "Also, we have compelling evidence that Sheldon might be a sophisticated android."
Ethan: "..."
"That's... a lot of information to process simultaneously..."
He counted off on his fingers, summarizing point by point:
"So, Penny's seeing some new guy, and Leonard witnessed them together;"
"So Leonard gave up pursuing Penny and decided to pursue Leslie instead;"
"Turns out Leslie had zero interest in him and shut him down;"
"Then Leonard somehow mustered the courage to ask Penny out anyway?"
"Penny agreed, and they actually went on a date?"
Howard and Raj in unison: "YES!"
Sheldon said with obvious annoyance: "Ethan, I'm genuinely disappointed by your obsessive focus on trivial social melodrama. I said I obtained the Warglaives of Azzinoth! And Leonard wants to adopt a feline!"
"Don't worry," Ethan laughed, "I'm confident that even if Leonard does get a cat, he won't last more than seventy-two hours before his asthma kicks in and he has to return it.
As for the Warglaives... honestly, it's a statistical miracle you got both to drop."
Just as Sheldon was about to deliver a retort, Ethan interrupted: "Wait, I have a question. Doesn't Penny already have a boyfriend? How could she still go on a date with Leonard?"
Raj explained: "Apparently he doesn't qualify as an official boyfriend. Leonard just happened to see her making out with some guy named Doug."
Howard added: "It wasn't technically a proper date, either. Leonard said he'd buy her dinner, but conveniently decided on behalf of the rest of us that we 'had other plans' and couldn't attend."
Ethan rubbed his temples: "Alright... I think I'm following this soap opera now."
At that precise moment, the sound of a key turning came from the door. Leonard pushed it open and entered.
He was wearing a light-colored vertical striped button-down shirt, with alternating stripes of white, gray, and pale purple, neatly tucked into a pair of dark brown high-waisted khakis that were slightly baggy, and he had a digital watch with a black nylon strap on his wrist.
Classic—textbook nerd fashion.
Ethan looked on in genuine disbelief: "So, you wore that on your date with Penny?"
Leonard looked down at himself defensively: "What's wrong with this? This is my most formal outfit."
Raj couldn't help asking eagerly: "So what did Penny say? How did it go?"
Leonard recalled: "She said she hasn't completely processed her breakup with Kurt yet, and hooking up with Doug was just for... 'rebound sex'."
Leonard continued elaborating: "She said every time after a breakup, she finds some hot guy, and then it's basically a weekend—36 hours straight of meaningless... you know. She said she feels terrible about herself every single time afterward."
Howard asked with clinical seriousness: "Terrible as in—physically sore terrible?"
Leonard clarified: "No, emotionally terrible."
Ethan: "So... your date with Penny was a complete failure?"
Leonard shouted with surprising excitement: "No! This date was amazing!" Then he rushed back to his bedroom practically bouncing with enthusiasm.
The three of them exchanged bewildered looks.
[Power Stone Goal: 500 = +1 Chapter]
[Review Goal: 10 = +1 Chapter]
If you liked it, feel free to leave a review.
20+chapters ahead on P1treon Soulforger