Monday morning arrived with a heavy humidity that made Jay's skin feel tight. She had spent the entire morning carefully applying concealer over the fading yellowish bruise on her cheek. With her hair down and her "Sunshine" mask firmly in place, she looked like the same old Jay.
She was sitting in their usual spot in the Business Law hall, staring intently at her notes, when Keifer slid into the seat next to him. He didn't have his usual swagger.
He looked... determined.
"You missed the coffee, Mariano," he said, skipping the greeting.
"I told you, I was busy with chores!" Jay chirped, finally looking up.
She gave him a dazzling smile, but she made sure to tilt her head so the light wouldn't hit her left cheek too directly.
Keifer didn't look at her notes.
He looked straight into her eyes.
"You're always busy. Every time I try to take you somewhere that isn't this classroom or the library, you disappear."
"Because we're partners for a grade, Keifer, not for—"
"I don't care about the grade anymore, Jay," he interrupted, his voice low and serious.
The students around them were chatting, but for Keifer, the room was silent. "I've been trying to play it cool. I've been trying to flirt like I always do, but it's not working because I'm not playing around this time."
Jay's heart began to race—a frantic, panicked rhythm.
"Keifer, the professor is about to start—"
"Let him start," Keifer said, leaning in. He reached out, his hand moving toward her face.
"I think about you even when I'm at practice. I find myself looking for your smile in the crowd, and when I find it, I realize I want to be the reason for it. A real one. Not the one you give the janitor or the dean."
His thumb brushed the edge of her jaw, dangerously close to where the bruise was hidden.
Jay flinched back instinctively, her eyes wide with a sudden, sharp fear.
Keifer stopped, his hand hanging in mid-air. His brow furrowed.
"Jay? Why are you so jumpy?"
"I'm not!" she said, her voice a pitch too high. She quickly stood up, grabbing her bag.
"I just remembered I forgot to submit a form at the registrar. I'll... I'll get the notes from Bea."
"Jay, wait—"
But she was already moving, weaving through the desks and rushing out of the lecture hall.
She didn't stop until she reached the rooftop of the building, the wind whipping her hair around her face.
She leaned against the railing, gasping for air.
Her heart was breaking.
She wanted him. She wanted his warmth, his protection, and the way he looked at her like she was the only person in the world.
But then she remembered the smell of gin and the sound of her mother's crying.
She remembered the violence that lived in her house. If she let Keifer in, he would see the mess.
He would try to fight her stepfather, and he would get hurt.
Or worse, his "Golden Boy" reputation would be stained by her "trash" reality.
"I can't," she sobbed quietly, the smile finally disappearing completely.
"I can't love you, Keifer. I don't have room for love in this dark place."
Downstairs, Keifer sat in the classroom, staring at the empty seat next to him.
He felt like he had finally reached out to touch the sun, only to have it vanish behind a cloud.
He didn't know what he had done wrong, but he knew one thing for sure: he wasn't giving up.