I was in the citadel of Uruk, staring down at clay tablets alongside the Wise King, Gilgamesh.
As I labored over the endless script, a surge of indignation welled within me. I ground my teeth and let out a frustrated roar.
"Onore! You damnable Golden King! Why have you shackled me to this desk?! I am a Saber! By all rights, I should be on the battlefield, not drowning in ink and clay!"
"Silence, you fool. Tend to your tasks. Did this King not personally expend a fortune to purchase your service? Now, hold your tongue and work."
"Dammit all!"
I shot a murderous glare at Gilgamesh, who dismissed my outburst with a nonchalant wave of his hand. How did it come to this? Why was I currently serving as a glorified scribe?
My mind drifted back to the fateful encounter between my master—a woman who surely deserves a seat in the deepest pits of hell—and the King of Heroes.
***
Gudako—rather, Fujimaru Ritsuka—had been led into the throne room by Merlin to face the working King of Uruk.
"King Gilgamesh! The Magus Merlin has returned with guests! ...Are you busy? Well, it's plain to see that you are, so I won't pay it any mind!"
"Merlin...!"
Ritsuka, dragged along by the magus against her will, looked up at Gilgamesh where he sat upon the throne.
The King set aside his tablet and looked down at her. His crimson eyes flashed with an eerie, knowing light.
He was using his Clairvoyance. I could see it plainly.
Siduri, Gilgamesh's ever-patient chief secretary, let out a weary sigh at Merlin's shameless greeting.
"Haa... You have returned, Magus Merlin. I thank you for your service. The King is... pleased by your arrival. Now, what of your results? Have you safely retrieved the Tablet of Heaven's Decree?"
Merlin chuckled and shook her head, seemingly unfazed.
"No, I'm afraid it was another wasted trip. It wasn't in the western forest. Honestly, if only the King could remember where he misplaced it, we wouldn't have to suffer through such exhausting errands~"
"Mind your tongue, magus! Your words border on sacrilege... Regardless, who are these individuals?"
After rebuking Merlin with a sharp glare, Siduri turned her attention toward Ritsuka, Mash, and myself.
"No matter how I look at them, they do not seem like citizens of Uruk..."
"Enough. I have grasped the general situation. Step back, Siduri."
Gilgamesh stood from his throne, cutting her off. As he rose, an overwhelming pressure—a thick, regal prana—spilled into the air. Instinctively, my hand flew to the hilt of the sword at my waist.
Siduri watched him with a look of dawning realization and dread, as if she knew what was coming next.
"King Gilgamesh... surely you don't mean...!"
"I mean exactly that. Allow me to soil this throne room for a brief moment."
He looked directly at Ritsuka, his voice carrying the weight of a divine decree.
"This King is a busy man. My time is far too precious to waste on mere idle chatter to measure your worth."
Gilgamesh extended his hand, and in a ripple of golden light, he summoned his Dingir—the Seal of Kings. Watching the artifact manifest, I gripped my hilt even tighter.
Was the battle to prove Ritsuka and Mash's worth about to begin? Having cleared the Seventh Singularity back in my former life—or would that be my life before my previous one?—I knew what to expect. I watched him with a mix of tension and fascination.
"Therefore, I should determine your authenticity through combat... or so I would like to say, but it seems you have brought quite a fine treasure with you."
...Wait, what?
I was stunned. This was not the response from the history I remembered. Gilgamesh tightened his grip on the Seal and closed the radiant tablet.
"If you grant me that treasure, I shall not only overlook your intrusion but provide my full assistance."
"...Excuse me?"
Siduri let out a soft sigh, clearly accustomed to the King's whims, while Ritsuka, Mash, Merlin, and I all stood frozen in confusion.
A stammering Ritsuka looked up at the King of Heroes.
"U-Um, King Gilgamesh. If I may ask... exactly what 'treasure' are you referring to?"
"Labor, of course. You possess a remarkably efficient workforce, Magus of the Observatory."
"E-Efficient workforce?"
Gilgamesh extended his arm and pointed directly at me. ...Wait, me?
Every pair of eyes in the room followed his finger to my face.
"...What is the meaning of this?" I asked cautiously.
"You. You're quite the worker, aren't you?"
"Eh? Elius? A good worker?" Ritsuka blinked.
"Hahaha!"
Gilgamesh doubled over, clutching his stomach as he let out a boisterous laugh.
"That man's administrative capacity surpasses even mine! No doubt he was forged and tempered in the rotting filth of Britain!"
"WHAAAAT?!"
"Ah, it's true, quite true. Most of the Round Table's affairs were settled by Eli's hand, after all," Merlin added with a sly grin.
"Even Merlin's confirming it!?"
- *Ah... now that you mention it, legends do say he was King Arthur's closest confidant, bearing the burden of the King's duties. Is that the case here?*
Between Gilgamesh's mockery, Merlin's confirmation, and even Romani Archaman chiming in over the comms with a nod to the lore, Ritsuka turned to me with eyes wide with shock.
"...Elius, are you actually some kind of genius secretary?"
"Even I, whose eyes penetrate and discern all things in creation, recognize the depth of that man's capability. More importantly... how in the world did you manage to survive thirteen years of that administrative hell in Britain without losing your mind?"
Gilgamesh looked at me with a gaze that bordered on pity. In that moment, the memories of my life in Camelot—life-draining and relentless—flashed before my eyes.
Lancelot, who constantly created incidents that led to more paperwork.
Kay, who shirked his duties to go off wooing women.
Tristan, who was perpetually AWOL in his search for married ladies.
Gawain, who would spend his time singing to mashed potatoes while dirt still clung to them.
Mordred, who smashed the training grounds daily on the pretext of sparring, adding 'repair logistics' to the pile.
And finally, the mountain of documents that rose like a peak of despair because no one except Bedivere and Agravain ever bothered to pick up a quill.
Recalling that chaotic era, I replied with dead, hollow eyes.
"...Indeed. Using the mental fortitude and sheer tenacity I built in that hellish modern world—no, wait. What am I saying? I refuse. I won't do it!"
"Regardless, hand that man over to me, and I shall see to it that you receive every hospitality Uruk has to offer. What say you, Magus of the Observatory?"
Gilgamesh ignored my desperate refusal and looked expectantly at Ritsuka.
To everyone's surprise—save perhaps the King himself—Ritsuka shook her head. We all stared at her in disbelief.
She rejected Gilgamesh? Though she looked a bit shrunken under the weight of everyone's gaze, she stood her ground and spoke.
"...It's a very tempting offer, but I refuse, King Gilgamesh! Elius is my very first five-star Servant! I can't just sell him off for such a small price!"
At her firm words, my eyes filled with tears of genuine emotion.
*Oh! Master! I knew I could count on you!!*
However, Gilgamesh took her answer in a very different direction. He nodded slowly.
"Hmph. So you say he is worth more... Very well. If the price is too low, I simply need to offer more, is that it? Conveniently, I have something appropriate on hand."
Hmm?
Golden ripples shimmered beside the King. Emerging from the Gates of Babylon was a massive, gilded vessel—and it was overflowing with Saint Quartz.
Gilgamesh gestured toward the bowl, noticing how Ritsuka's eyes had become instantly fixed upon the glowing prisms.
"If you leave him with me, all of this Saint Quartz is yours."
"He's all yours, King Gilgamesh! Take him! Use him as much as you like!"
"Ri-Ritsuka?"
The sound of my world collapsing echoed in my ears. The moment she saw the gacha currency, her personality did a complete u-turn. I stared at her, unable to believe I had been sold out so effortlessly.
She traded me for a bowl of rocks? Really?
Seeing my expression, Gilgamesh let out an even louder, more triumphant laugh.
"Kuhahahahahaha!! What a marvelous face you're making! Did you truly not expect a betrayal of this magnitude? Hahahaha!"
"Y-You... you Golden Bastard!!"
I trembled, caught between feelings of betrayal, fury, and utter humiliation. I wanted to start a riot right there, but I could barely keep my limbs from shaking.
"Ah, this is entertaining. Very well. Siduri, provide them with whatever they need. Show them the city or some such. The work can wait for a few moments, after all."
"As you wish, King Gilgamesh. Please follow me, everyone. I shall be your guide."
"As for you... get over here and start processing these tablets. We are busy. I won't give you a moment's rest."
"*Gack!*"
I clutched the back of my neck. I was a Heroic Spirit, yet I felt as though my blood pressure had spiked high enough to kill a mortal man. I looked back at Ritsuka, who was cradling a bag full of Saint Quartz like it was the most precious treasure in the universe, a dazed, happy smile on her face.
"Hehehehe... Thank you, Elius! Good luck with the paperwork!"
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!"
I tried to lunge at her, flailing in desperation, but I was immediately restrained by the golden chains of Enkidu. Shackled and forced into a chair, my forced labor began.
"GO TO HELL, MASTERERERERRRRRRR!!!!!!!"
"Onore! Quiet down!"