AKIHIRO ATLAS
I used to think that the things that changed people's lives were big events. Wars. Casualties. Disasters. Fractures big enough to tear a person's soul apart, such as facing death or seeing the real face of the world... For me, these are the only things that can change a person. Because my mind had long believed that the human soul is shaped only in the face of great suffering. I used to think that what we call a person's worldview is formed by the accumulation of suffering, traumas, and losses. And to be honest... I still can't say that it's completely wrong. The pain really changed a person. Sometimes it even killed all the old parts inside a person and replaced them with someone completely different. But as time went on, something else happened that I noticed. It wasn't always destruction that changed a person. Sometimes what changes one's perspective on the entire universe can be... simply the presence of another human being.
This idea may sound simple, but it was actually a frighteningly profound thing. Because the being we call human loved to think of itself as an independent consciousness. I'm talking about myself... I'm human too, after all. People believed that they formed their own thoughts and made their own decisions solely through their own willpower. But this was not true. The human mind was much more permeable than you thought. The voices, looks, loves, fears, and even the silences of other people were infiltrating one's inner world. And after a while, it became difficult to discern how much of what one called "myself" truly belonged to oneself. Perhaps that's why some people couldn't return to their former selves after entering our lives. Because they didn't just leave behind memories. They were changing the way we think. They were rebuilding the way we perceive the world. And the scariest part... they were doing this most of the time without even realizing it.
I used to think it was difficult to stay away from people. I believed that not needing anyone and being able to stand on one's own was a form of superiority. Because loneliness felt safe to me. When you didn't form bonds with people, you didn't experience the fear of losing them. When you didn't open up to anyone, there was no chance of getting hurt. And for a long time, I thought this was the most logical way to live. I believed that if I stayed away from people, I would suffer less. But as time went by, I realized that one cannot truly be "strong" when alone. When one is alone, one becomes nothing but the echo of one's own mind. And the human mind begins to exhaust itself when there is no other voice within it.
Perhaps that is why humans were compelled to communicate.
No... even the word "obliged" wasn't strong enough.
People needed each other.
Because the human mind was not something that could be completed on its own. One knew oneself through the eyes of other people. They were making sense of their own existence through the value someone placed on them, the way someone called them, the fear someone felt for them, or the peace they found in their presence. This might have sounded like addiction, but I think it was something much more fundamental than that. The human soul was by nature not fit to live alone. Because even what we call consciousness actually wanted to be shared. A person wanted what he felt to be understood by someone else. They wanted to express their pain, share their fear, and show their happiness. Because sometimes only another person could confirm the authenticity of a felt emotion.
Maybe that's why people are constantly asking their loved ones, "do you understand me?" he was asking.
Because being understood meant the acceptance of one's existence.
And this was one of humanity's greatest fears: living without being understood.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that almost every tragedy in human history had miscommunication at its core. People were fighting because they couldn't reach each other. They hated that they couldn't explain themselves. They were hurting each other because they couldn't express the emptiness inside them. Sometimes even love couldn't save people because, despite loving each other, they couldn't reach out to one another. And this thought always shook me deeply. Because a person's loneliness was often not physical. The real loneliness was not being heard even when you spoke, and not being understood even when people were around you.
I think that's why Aurelia changed my life.
Because she was the first person to listen to me without trying to "fix" me.
Most people would actually want to change you, even when they were trying to understand you. They would tell you what kind of person you should be, point out what aspects of you were wrong, and try to bring you closer to their own ideals. But Aurelia never did that. She just listened. Quietly. With patience. And perhaps that's why I was able to truly speak up for the first time in his presence. Because one could only open up where one felt one would not be judged.
Sometimes I wonder...
If human life is a long corridor, the people we encounter could be like mirrors hung on the walls of that corridor. Some mirrors would only show you your fears. Some would show you your broken sides. Some would make you feel smaller than you are. But very rarely... when some people looked at you, it also showed the beauty that you couldn't see inside. And that's when people would start to change. Because when someone starts seeing you as a better option than themselves, you too want to believe that possibility for the first time.
For me, Aurelia was exactly that.
He wasn't denying my darkness. But he was also reminding me that I wasn't just my darkness.
And I think that was exactly what kept people alive.
Not believing that it was completely good.
Being able to believe that it wasn't completely bad.
That's why I couldn't look at human relationships the same way I used to. Because now I knew that people leave much bigger marks on each other's lives than they realize. Sometimes even a single sentence can change a person's life. A single touch, a single look, a single night... could split a person's entire life in two. "Before that" and "after that".
And to be honest...
I think this was the true birth of humanity.
Not the moment you were physically born into the world.
The moment when another person's presence truly changed you.
Because from that moment on, you could no longer remain the same person.
I couldn't stay either. From the first moment I could change... I became a completely different person. I owed this to him.
Anyway... Focusing on the main point is more important.
When we sat across from each other at the table, the atmosphere in the room completely changed. The heaviness that had been weighing me down like a stone for a while was now felt lighter. Although Aurelia still occasionally wiped her eyes, there was now that familiar warmth on her face. The books, documents, and unfinished reports scattered across the table still occupied the space in front of us, but none of us paid any attention to them. Because for the first time in a long time, I felt that time was not rushing. It was as if the world had left us alone for a few hours. There was no war, no duties, no expectations weighing down on us... only the fact that two people could reunite at the same table after years apart.
Aurelia was leaning her elbow on the table and looking at me.
But she wasn't just looking casually.
Sometimes one feels like the other person truly "sees" them... that's exactly what happened.
They examined me silently for a while. Then a little smile formed on the edge of his lips.
"Can I ask you something?"
I raised my eyebrow slightly.
"That introductory sentence didn't inspire much confidence."
Aurelia let out a small laugh.
"I mean it." said. "Well... have you ever thought about it? Comparing this moment with when we first met at the Academy or something?"
This question really made me pause for a few seconds.
Because to be honest... I've been trying not to think about my past self for a long time. Maybe remembering that child was disturbing. Because my past self seemed foreign to me now, but at the same time, it wasn't completely gone. There were still traces of him inside me.
Aurelia continued.
"You've really changed, Aki."
My eyes involuntarily shifted to him.
She was talking thoughtfully now.
"It used to be really hard to understand you, you know?" she said, smiling slightly. "When we first met, every time I asked you a question, you looked at me as if I had caused the greatest inconvenience to humanity."
I laughed involuntarily.
"You're exaggerating." I said and narrowed my eyes as if angry.
"No, I'm serious." she said right away. "Once I said to you only, 'How was your day?' I asked, and you looked at me in silence for exactly two minutes."
"Because I was trying to understand your intentions." I said and sighed. Because she was right, what I did was absurd.
Aurelia narrowed her eyes.
"How can there be any ill-will under my asking how your day has been?"
I shrugged..
"At that time, I thought everyone had a purpose."
After saying this sentence, a slight heaviness settled inside me.
Because it was true.
I really used to think that way.
I believed that people couldn't get close for no reason. If someone is being nice to you, I was definitely looking for an expectation underneath. Because my mind had grown accustomed to understanding human relationships not through warmth but through self-interest.
Aurelia, on the other hand, smiled slightly as she looked at me. She put his thumb on his cheek and said seriously in a tone of voice as if he were mocking.
"But now you're different."
"Am I?" I asked with a confused expression.
"Very much so."
She tilted her head slightly to the side.
I closed my eyes and smiled involuntarily.
"You used to constantly isolate yourself from the rest of the world." You were watching people, but you were never really mixing Decently with them. It was as if there was an invisible glass between you and everyone."
This analogy touched my heart unexpectedly.
Because... it was true.
My god.
It was indeed true.
I had been looking at people through glass for a long time. I saw them laughing, crying, forming bonds, but I never truly felt like I was part of that world. I was keeping myself out of it. Because I was afraid I would get hurt if I were inside.
Aurelia's voice interrupted my thoughts.
"But now…" he said slowly, "you're really touching people."
I turned my eyes back to him.
The expression on his face at that moment was very soft.
"You just don't seem more mature," She continued quietly. "You look more… real."
My heart tightened slightly.
Aurelia remained silent for a few seconds. Then she suddenly looked away.
And for some reason, I noticed her ears turning slightly red.
"…Also."
She paused.
Then she cleared her throat.
"…You're also extremely attractive physically."
Silence.
For a few seconds I couldn't really say anything.
Aurelia's eyes widened.
She had probably just realized she had said this out loud.
"I—I mean—uh—"
Her face began to turn completely red.
"I didn't actually mean it in that sense—NO, I mean I did, but—"
She held her head with both hands.
"God, why did I say that..."
And that was the moment...
I couldn't hold back.
I started laughing.
I was really laughing. It was a quiet but heartfelt laugh. Aurelia, on the other hand, was trying to shrink down in the chair across from me out of embarrassment.
"Don't laugh!"
"I'm sorry, but…" My smile still wouldn't stop. "You look so stupid right now."
"AKI."
This time I laughed even more.
For the first time in a long time, I felt this light.
Aurelia looked at me for a few seconds as if she was angry. Then she, too, involuntarily began to laugh.
But even as I was laughing, a part of my mind was thinking about what you said.
"You seem genuine."
This sentence echoed in my mind.
And without realizing it, I began to think about my past self.
What kind of person I used to be...
The times when I thought I really hated people.
I leaned slightly against the table.
"Strange…" I muttered.
Aurelia looked at me.
"What?"
I exhaled silently.
"I used to think I hated people."
There was an involuntary bitterness in my voice when I said this.
"That I really hate." My eyes slipped to the scattered documents on the table. "I thought they were fake. That they are weak. "They pretend to be trying to understand each other, but in reality they only care about themselves..."
I paused for a moment.
"And maybe still some people really are." I said honestly. "But now I know that this is not the whole of humanity."
Aurelia was listening to me silently.
"I think what I really hated back then wasn't people." I said slowly. "It was disappointing."
After this sentence came out of my mouth, something fell into place inside me.
Yes.
That's exactly what it was.
Hating people wasn't always as simple as we thought it was. Because beneath genuine hatred often lay a broken expectation. Someone who didn't expect anything from people rarely experienced disappointment. But I... deep down, I wanted people to be better. And when I couldn't see that, I became angry at the whole world.
I looked up at Aurelia.
"Then you came."
Aurelia's eyes softened slightly.
"And I think..." a small smile formed on my lips. "You have ruined my whole philosophy."
Aurelia looked at me for a few seconds.
Then she started laughing.
"This might be one of the most romantic compliments I've ever received."
Romantic? Where was it romantic?
"So what, then?" I asked, tilting my head a little to the side.
Aurelia narrowed her eyes slightly, but her smile disappeared.
"The one thing you haven't changed since your academy years is this woodpile. Idiot!"
Being a loner, I guess it's a problem. I didn't have the ability to talk much with people. I never did. I have always been the one watching from the outside and wanting them to take action against me. On the contrary, when I tried to do the opposite and talk, the results I got were never positive. Aurelia was the best example of this in my life. The woman who took the best possible step towards me, a human being.
6 YEARS AGO
The classroom was as stifling as always.
But this strangulation was not physical. The air was not heavy, the temperature was not uncomfortable, people were not shouting and shouting. On the contrary... everything was in order. It's too regular. The rows were perfectly aligned, the notes written on the blackboard were arranged symmetrically, the students seemed to be listening carefully to what the teacher was telling them. And for some reason, amidst all this order, there was a strange artificiality that gnawed at one's insides. It was as if everyone present here was acting out an invisible script, and only I was aware of it.
I was leaning my head slightly against the window, watching outside.
The sky was pale. A few students were walking in the stone courtyard of the academy. Some were talking among themselves, some were laughing, and some were hurriedly trying to get somewhere. From a distance, everything seemed normal. It could even be considered peaceful.
But while I had been observing people for a long time, I had begun to notice not what they said, but what they didn't say.
The way people look.
Their silence.
Their ways of avoiding approaching.
And after realizing this, no social interaction seemed natural to me anymore.
Because the same thing had been happening since the first day I started at the academy.
No one was talking to me.
At first I thought it was temporary. People could be timid in new environments. Maybe it just needed time. But as time went on, I began to understand that this was not timidity. People were consciously avoiding me.
And the ironic part is... the reason for this was that I wasn't a bad person.
On the contrary.
It wasn't that I was too successful.
Every time this thought occurred to me, the same discomfort grew within me because it was illogical. When we look at human history, the people who enabled the development of civilizations were always those who could think more creatively than others. Science, strategy, art, philosophy... all progress has been made possible by certain individuals rising above the average. Humanity had risen on the shoulders of people who could become "better." But despite this, when people saw someone better than themselves, they would distance themselves instead of approaching them.
Why?
This question had been swirling around in my mind for a long time.
I was the student with the highest GPA in the history of the academy. In my first year, I solved unsolved strategic problems, analyzed the theories of the upper classes instead of memorizing them, and broke the exam records that teachers have been showing examples for years. It didn't take long for people to start calling me "the most successful student in Cistern history."
And the result?
Loneliness.
People praised success but didn't like successful people. As a result, loneliness arose for people like me. Or maybe it's just special to me.
This contradiction was beginning to bother me more and more every day. Because people theoretically celebrated progress, but in practice they felt uneasy when they saw someone standing ahead of them. It was as if a person's superiority made other people's shortcomings visible. And people hated seeing their shortcomings.
Maybe that's why they were avoiding talking to me.
Because they felt inadequate around me.
But even this thought couldn't fill the void inside me.
Because I had never wanted to feel superior to others.
I just wanted to be understood.
During the first few months I started at the academy, I tried talking to people a few times. When I think about it now, those memories remain strangely blurry in my mind because the outcomes were always the same. I was approaching a group, trying to talk to them, and within a few minutes the atmosphere was changing. People's tone of voice was becoming artificial, their glances were escaping, conversations were being cut short. Then they were slowly moving away.
As if my presence were causing discomfort.
And when one experiences this long enough, one inevitably begins to question oneself.
Perhaps the problem was me.
But then another thought emerged.
No.
The problem was that I was successful.
And this thought made me harder towards humanity every time.
Because this was wrong.
It shouldn't have been a bad thing for one person to be better than others. On the contrary, that was precisely the purpose of development. How could humanity progress if no one tried to rise above their current level? Shouldn't people be drawn to more knowledgeable, more disciplined, and more capable individuals? Shouldn't they have tried to learn from them?
But people weren't doing that.
People mostly chose people who wouldn't bother them.
Those who remained on the same level as them.
People who wouldn't make them feel incomplete.
And this thought was beginning to disgust me more and more.
Because this meant humanity was afraid of its own development.
Perhaps that's why civilizations kept repeating the same mistakes.
People didn't really want to be better.
They just wanted to feel comfortable.
I continued to lean my head slightly against the glass. The wind outside was moving the leaves of the trees. At that moment, I felt a strange fatigue inside me.
I didn't want to be alone.
Even admitting this thought to myself was frustrating.
I just wanted to be truly loved by someone.
Because for a long time I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't need people. But the truth is, no matter how strong the human mind may be, it was not created to endure constant loneliness. The person wanted to talk. They wanted to be understood. They wanted to share their thoughts with someone.
I wanted it too.
But every time I tried to approach, people would back away.
And this... over time, it was turning into something that was rotting inside me.
"Mr. Atlas."
The sound sharply broke the silence inside the classroom.
I slowly turned my head towards my teacher.
The expression on the teacher's face seemed uncomfortable.
"Is listening to the lecture below your level?"
A few people in the class glanced at me briefly, but quickly looked away.
A slight discomfort formed inside me.
The teacher crossed her arms.
"Since you're so thoughtful, then answer me." She tapped the blackboard lightly. "In history, what was the name of the Bashkir who consumed almost the entire lineage of the Dragon Race?"
The answer had already formed in my mind as soon as the question ended.
"Viraneel."
The teacher remained silent for a few seconds.
Then, with a dissatisfied expression on his face, he nodded.
"That's right."
And she turned around and continued teaching as if nothing had happened.
But I wasn't looking at the board anymore.
Because the same thought was growing inside me again.
Why were people like this?
Why did a person's goodness alienate them from others?
Wasn't this wrong?
If a person is ahead of others, shouldn't they lead the way for others? Wasn't becoming better necessary not to humiliate others, but to lift them up too?
But the real world didn't work like that.
In the real world, instead of emulating the superior, people were distancing themselves from it.
And me...
I was beginning to get tired of this loneliness.
When the class ended, the classroom began to slowly empty, but I continued sitting where I was for a few seconds. The sounds of people pulling back their chairs, their calls to each other, and the footsteps in the corridor were spreading throughout the classroom. They were moving quickly and vigorously, as if releasing the energy they had accumulated throughout the day. Some were talking about their evening plans, some were discussing exam results, and some were just rushing to get home. And amidst all this activity, I was experiencing the same feeling again; as if I were just a few steps away from the world they inhabited.
This feeling gradually permeated one's being over time.
At first it seemed like just a temporary unfamiliarity, but as the days passed it was turning into a way of thinking. When one doesn't feel like they belong somewhere, after a while they begin to observe their own existence from the outside. I've been doing this lately too. Sometimes I felt not like a person, but like an observer studying people. It was as if we spoke the same language but didn't share the same meanings.
I slowly stood up. As I took my bag over my shoulder and left the classroom, the light of the sunset was streaming in through the large windows at the end of the corridor. The red light, which turned orange, was spread over the stone walls. The evening hours of the Academy always looked different. This place, which seemed disciplined and harsh during the day, was strangely softening at sunset. Even the people seemed more alive. Maybe it was the comfort of approaching the end of the day.
Going down the stairs, I could see the garden outside. The students were walking in small groups. Some were sitting on the grass talking, while others were loitering around the training areas. And while watching all this, the same thought occurred to me again.
How easily people reached out to each other.
This still seemed strange to me.
Being able to approach another person, feeling comfortable around them, and speaking without hesitation... these were not natural things for me. Because my mind was used to analyzing every interaction. I was involuntarily studying people's tones of voice, looks, small movements. And the more I studied, the more complex human relationships began to seem.
Just as I was leaving the academy's main gate, I heard a familiar voice.
"Akiiiiii!"
As soon as I turned my head, I saw something red coming rapidly towards me.
To be more precise... Asahi.
"You were perfect today too!" she came directly to me shouting. "Seriously, did you see everyone's facial expressions in the class when you answered that question?! Even the teacher got angry at you!"
Her red hair looked even brighter under the sunset. As she moved, the ends of her hair seemed to catch the light. The expression on her face was as vivid as always. When one stood next to her, one couldn't ignore her energy because Asahi was someone who expressed all his emotions in an exaggerated way. While speaking, they constantly moved their hands; when excited, their voice would rise, and they would blurt out whatever they were thinking without filtering it.
And to be honest...
This was tiring at times.
But it also felt strangely warm.
Just as Asahi was about to grab my arm, another voice came from behind him.
"Asahi. Stop tackling people on the road."
Hikari walked beside us with a heavy sigh. Her blue hair looked darker in the evening light. He had a calm expression as usual, but there was a slight boredom in his eyes. Especially when he looked at his brother, this expression became more pronounced.
"I didn't tackle!" Asahi said immediately. "I showed affection!"
"This isn't affection, it's an attack." Hikari said and shook his head from right to left.
"You are talking very hurtfully."
Hikari closed his eyes and held her nose for a few seconds. Then he turned to me.
"By the way..." he said in a calmer voice, "Your answer today was decently good." then he put his hand on my shoulder in a supportive way.
Asahi immediately intervened.
"WAS IT GOOD? The guy literally destroyed the class again!" Asahi shouted with all his might.
Her brother must have been angry at Asahi because he immediately responded.
"You shouldn't have said that as a compliment."
Hikari probably thought I was upset because Asahi was clinging to me so much, but actually I wasn't feeling anything.
"I'm trying to be romantic!" he shouted again, Asahi said.
Hikari grabbed him by his clothes and pulled him and said it hard to his face.
"This is not romantic."
Asahi still tried to defend her compliment, as if she was tired of her brother.
"You don't understand anything!"
While listening to them, a small silence involuntarily formed within me.
Because...
These people were truly strange.
They were constantly talking to me. They were walking next to me. They were waiting for me every day. And yet, my mind still couldn't fully comprehend the reason for this.
We started walking together in the academy's garden. The sunset had painted the sky in red and orange tones. Long shadows were falling over the stone paths. The light wind was moving the leaves of the trees, and people's voices could be heard in the distance.
Asahi was still talking.
"Also, I think the teacher got pretty angry at you." she said dramatically. Her facial expression was exactly the 'why is this kid here' look."
"Because she wasn't listening to me," I said calmly.
"But you still gave the right answer!"
I bowed my head and answered silently.
"This only makes it worse."
Asahi looked at me for a few seconds. Then she frowned slightly.
"Do you know..." she said slowly, "I think sometimes you overthink it."
This sentence caused a slight discomfort in me.
Because people often told me this, but none of them understood why I was thinking it.
What would I do if I didn't think about it?
How could I approach people without understanding them?
I stayed silent.
And just then, my mind began to turn inward again.
Why were these two with me?
I was really curious.
Asahi kept coming to me. He was constantly trying to talk to me. He was touching me, praising small things in an exaggerated way, and watching even my slightest movements carefully. But my mind couldn't perceive his actions as "love".
Because why would he love me?
Really.
People usually found me repulsive. They were saying I was too quiet, too serious, too cold. And to be honest, I didn't think of myself as someone to love either. I wasn't someone that a person could feel comfortable around. I didn't know how to talk. I didn't know how to comfort people. Most of the time I was lost in my own thoughts.
That's why I couldn't make sense of Asahi's behavior.
Maybe she was approaching me because she felt lonely.
Maybe he just didn't want to leave someone alone who was ostracized at the academy.
Maybe it was because he was a good person.
But love?
No.
This idea seemed illogical to me.
Because one wouldn't fall in love with someone they don't see anything lovable in.
And Hikari...
That was also strange.
Because he had no interest in me, yet he still stayed by my side. Most of the time it seemed like he was trying to control Asahi, but sometimes there were moments when he walked silently with me. And these silences were not disturbing.
But still...
The idea of true friendship was still foreign to my mind.
It seemed theoretically possible to me that people could truly love or care about someone without expecting anything in return, but in practice it didn't seem feasible for me.
Because my self-perception had been broken for a very long time.
The same thought was constantly inside me:
I wasn't someone who was suitable to be loved.
Perhaps no one had directly told me this thought, but the way people distanced themselves from me had gradually imprinted it on my mind. When a person is left alone for long enough, they eventually begin to believe there is a logical reason for being left alone.
And I too believed.
That's why I didn't understand Asahi's looks at me.
I couldn't understand Hikari's quiet friendship.
Because a part of me kept saying this:
"If they really knew you, they wouldn't stay here."
Even my father didn't love me. I didn't even get to know my mother well enough to get proper information about her. My brother and sister, on the other hand, had never been close enough to me for me to communicate properly with them for years.
And the worst part...
It was that I was so hungry for love.
I was trying to stay away from people, but at the same time, I really wanted to be chosen by someone. I wanted someone to look at me and consciously say, "I want to stay by your side."
Maybe that's why loneliness hurt so much.
Because loneliness wasn't just about being alone with no one around.
Loneliness was the inability to believe that one was worthy of love.
That day, as I was leaving them and walking home, the sky began to darken completely. The red glow of the sunset was slowly fading away, giving way to night. The city's stone streets were illuminated by the faint glow of evening lamps, and people were returning home. Some were walking with their families, some were laughing with groups of friends, while others were moving forward with silent faces bearing the weariness of the day. As for me, I was alone as usual.
Asahi waved extravagantly when saying goodbye, came back to me at the last moment and said, "Be perfect tomorrow, okay?" he had made a ridiculous sentence like. Hikari, on the other hand, while trying to drag him away, gave me a brief but sincere "I'll see you tomorrow." he had said.
And me…
After they had gone away, I stared after them for a long time.
Because the same thought was still in my mind.
Why?
The human mind sometimes has difficulty accepting things it cannot make sense of. I was having difficulty too. Because the idea that these two were genuinely spending time with me willingly still seemed unreal. I always had a feeling that this was temporary. One day they would get bored. They were going to get away from me one day. And to be honest, my mind had accepted this so naturally that it was hard to even imagine it wouldn't happen.
Perhaps people forget to hope when they are alone for a long time.
When I got home, night had already fallen. My room was quiet as usual. Books, notes and unfinished studies were lying on my desk. And for some reason, as soon as I entered the room, the same numbness formed inside me again. Being around people all day made me tired, but I couldn't feel at peace when I was alone either. It was as if my mind didn't belong anywhere. I felt like an outsider among people, and empty when I was alone.
I couldn't sleep for a long time that night.
Because my mind kept circling around the same thought.
"If I'm really so successful... why am I so lonely?"
And the scary part was that I couldn't find the answer to this question.
…
When I went to the academy the next day, everything started over again.
The same corridors.
The same stone walls.
The same artificial conversations.
The same looks.
Sometimes a person felt that his life had turned into a cycle. The days passed, but nothing changed. You would wake up in the morning, walk through the same corridors, sit among the same people, experience the same silence, and then return home again. And after a while, you began to feel not that time was passing, but merely repeating itself.
Today's lesson was image recall training.
When the class entered the training area, everyone had settled into their respective areas. The teacher called on the students one by one, and everyone was trying to bring out their own images. Some were unsuccessful, some produced unstable images, and some remained at only the basic level.
Then it was my turn.
And as usual, the atmosphere became quiet.
I had gotten used to this silence by now.
When people watched my performance, they always had the same expression: a look caught between admiration and discomfort. It was as if this was exactly what they wanted to see, but at the same time, they were afraid of it.
I took a deep breath.
And energy began to concentrate within my hand.
The spear formed perfectly within a few seconds.
As always.
The bright red energy had taken shape within the air and then transformed into a completely balanced form. There was neither vibration nor imbalance. My image was so stable that it didn't even affect the surrounding mana flow.
I swung my spear in a controlled manner and then transformed it into a key by summoning lightning again. To its true form.
Then I turned around and put my hand in my pocket and returned to where the students were waiting.
The silence grew.
I could feel the looks of the people in the classroom.
Some seemed fascinated.
Some were uneasy.
Some were downright scared.
The teacher looked at the spear for a few seconds.
Then he made a brief note in his notebook.
And as if nothing had happened, he moved on to the next student.
What appreciation.
Neither comment.
Nor surprise.
Nothing.
A small but familiar emptiness formed inside me.
Because the point wasn't about receiving praise. I haven't expected people to applaud me for a long time anyway. But people were still getting tired of being completely ignored. Especially when people are constantly watching you.
And at that moment, the same thought echoed in my mind again:
"Perfection doesn't comfort people. It disturbs them."
This thought was starting to consume me more and more.
Because I was doing my best. I was improving myself, working, learning, and striving to become better. And the result of this was not gaining more respect from people, but being further alienated.
This was absurd.
Weren't the people a society should value most the ones who could move it forward?
But even though people said they wanted to move forward, in reality they were afraid of change.
And me...
I was starting to hate this cycle now.
From mingling with people.
From their artificial looks.
From their whispering.
From their fear of me.
From their simultaneously exalting and ostracizing me.
Because at some point, one began to think this:
"If this is the outcome… why am I trying to be good?"
…
After school, we were walking together in the same way again.
Asahi was speaking energetically as usual, while Hikari was trying to keep him under control. The sunset had once again painted the academy's stone paths orange.
"Today's call was nonsense again!" Hikari said, shaking his head from side to side. "You're not really human."
"You said it like a romantic phrase," I said calmly.
"Because it was!" Asahi interjected. "Aki upset everyone's psychology again today!"
"This is not a compliment." I said, without looking either of them in the face and walking a few steps in front of them.
"But it was cool!" Asahi shouted from behind me.
Hikari took a deep breath.
"Honestly, sometimes watching you can be frustrating," she said, looking at me. "You do something perfectly on the first try."
I suddenly stopped where I was and aligned myself with the two of them.
"Is that bad?"
They were as confused at that point as I was.
"No, but..." Hikari thought for a few seconds. "When a person watches you, he questions his own existence."
The Asahi immediately nodded.
"I'm not questioning! I only admire Aki!" Asahi said.
I closed my eyes. I just turned it off. Because those words were completely meaningless.
"…This isn't normal either."
Having someone admire me wasn't a very logical idea. I didn't have an egotistical side. I wasn't enjoying it. I just wanted to be something like a friend.
I remained silent involuntarily while listening to them.
Because there was still a part of me that couldn't understand why they were here.
Then, when no one else spoke up, we continued walking.
Just then I heard several girls whispering passing in front of us.
"That's him..."
"He's really handsome…"
"But isn't he a bit scary?"
"His hair is beautiful…"
The sounds faded away in a short while.
And as usual, I tried to ignore it.
But then…
Suddenly, someone appeared directly in front of us.
We all stopped involuntarily.
And at that moment…
For the first time, I felt truly surprised.
Because the girl in front of us... seemed to be emitting a strange kind of light.
Her long blonde hair shone like gold under the sunset. As the gentle wind moved her hair, it seemed as if light were gliding over the strands. Her green eyes, on the other hand, were incredibly lively; when one looked at them, one involuntarily paused, because there was both warmth and confident grace in those eyes. Even the academy uniform she was wearing looked different from what it looked like on other people. It was as if even the air around him was adapting to him.
And for some reason...
At that moment, my mind completely cleared.
The girl clasped her hands in front of her and bowed slightly.
Her smile was small but genuine.
"Hello," she said in a soft voice. "You're Akihiro Atlas, aren't you?"
I stayed silent.
Because I really didn't know what to say.
The girl smiled slightly.
"I wanted to talk to you for a while."
…
I didn't say anything for a few seconds.
And at that very moment, an incredibly dangerous wave of Spirit Power rose from near me.
"HAAAAA?!"
Hikari's voice literally cracked.
Suddenly, blue flames started coming out of her hands.
"Asahi," he said in a terribly calm voice, "Let me go."
Asahi was trying to jump right behind him and grab him.
"HIKARI NO NO NO—"
"WHY IS THIS WOMAN TALKING TO AKI?"
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!"
"OUR LIFE MAY END!"
"DON'T START A FIRE RIGHT NOW!"
Hikari really seemed crazy.
"I CAN'T CALCULATE THE SOCIAL STATUS CONSEQUENCES OF THIS!"
Asahi was trying to pull him back, and the two nearly fell to the ground. Hikari was still frantically waving her hands, and Asahi was trying to silence him.
And the worst part...
The girl started laughing at this.
She was really laughing.
A few students around also started watching and laughing at what was happening.
But I...
I was still just standing there, stunned.
Because my mind was fixated on a single point.
"Why does he/she want to talk to me?"
I finally broke the silence.
"...Who are you?"
Suddenly the atmosphere fell silent.
Asahi froze.
The expression on Hikari's face became indescribable.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO ARE YOU?!"
He knelt down directly in front of the girl and joined his hands and spoke as if begging.
"Please don't kill us!" he said, leaning towards the blonde girl. "Please don't hurt our family! He's really like someone who lives in a cave!"
I was still confused.
"When I asked who you were, I didn't mean it in a bad way." I said, as if it were a normal thing, since I didn't understand anything.
Hikari turned to me and held me by the shoulders.
"Aki." he said in a deadly serious voice. "Do you really live in this academy?"
"...Yes?" I said, raising my eyebrows. Because it was something I didn't know, so what should I do?
"How can you not know?!" he shouted towards my face.
I frowned slightly.
And finally, Hikari took a deep breath.
Then he slowly pointed to the blonde girl with his hand.
"Let me introduce to you the heir of the oldest, richest, and noblest family in Cistern."
The girl smiled gracefully.
Hikari's voice still sounded traumatized.
"Aurelia Hermes." he said through that smile that brightens my life.
END OF CHAPTER